No. I do not think there is too much echo. Sounds great!

You do sound like your in the closet but its not bad, actually adds something to it.
Now big tip for you, your video will not be seen without alot of views. Go to vagex.com and get some views. You will need about a 1000 to get your video ranked.

I have been using youtube mastermind that I bought from the wso's and it really helped me get my videos up there and I'm getting lots of clicks now. I think his name is garuab or gaurab borah. Something like that.

I can find the program if you want just pm me.

P.S. I went back and watched the whole video, you did a great job man. Good work and when they start coming on here to criticize you because everyone is a critic, don't listen, great job again.