List the Things That Hold You Back..

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I wonder if it's the same for many of us... we talk about lack of focus and so forth, but let's see what is common to that focus issue and what is not. For instance...
  1. Aging parents;
  2. Taking kids to school;
  3. Lunch with friends;
  4. Spouse or girl/boyfriend;
  5. Many girl/boyfriends;
  6. Too much watching news/tv;
  7. Telephone interruptions;
Making an inventory of these things can be a bit uncomfortable because it can show us how "runaway" our lives really are... while we might be thinking the problem is just that we need a better program.

What competes for your attention?

Eric
#back #hold #list #things
  • Profile picture of the author ploked
    definitely would have to say my wife would be #1 on the list.....2nd would be "time"....wish i could clone about 10 more of me lol
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  • Profile picture of the author valerieSONORA
    Terrible, horrible time management skills.

    Thankfully I'm independent and single and don't have to worry about some spouse getting in the way :p And I don't even watch TV. Just some Youtube videos sometimes.
    So it's definitely my lack of time management skills. I could definitely get more done if I wasn't posting here so much for instance.

    There's also a limit of what I can do because of responsibilities Thur. eve to Sunday.

    Monday-Thurs. afternoon are my best times to be productive.
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    • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
      Originally Posted by ploked View Post

      definitely would have to say my wife would be #1 on the list.....2nd would be "time"....wish i could clone about 10 more of me lol
      Ok, but would your WIFE want 10 more of you? :p

      Originally Posted by valerieSONORA View Post

      Terrible, horrible time management skills.

      Thankfully I'm independent and single and don't have to worry about some spouse getting in the way :p And I don't even watch TV. Just some Youtube videos sometimes. So it's definitely my lack of time management skills. I could definitely get more done if I wasn't posting here so much for instance.

      There's also a limit of what I can do because of responsibilities Thur. eve to Sunday.

      Monday-Thurs. afternoon are my best times to be productive.
      Those seem like "custody sharing" time.

      Anyways, Valerie, what's keeping you from getting and completing a short time-management course?

      Eric
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  • Profile picture of the author Brad Spencer
    1. Too much consuming content versus time spent producing content.

    2. Mental road blocks (depressive moods when stuff goes wrong or doesn't work out as planned)

    3. Getting off my ass to do stuff

    4. Focusing on the wrong tasks (remember 80% of your results come from 20% of your tasks...)

    Thats all for me!

    Brad Spencer
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Bard
    Eric,

    I've been thinking about the subject of focus and managing time and priorities for a long time now since my kids were teenagers. (Many moons ago)

    I have a daughter who has accepted the "fact" that she is spacy, flakey, and now that science has blessed it, has ADD.

    But my argument with her has always been "honey, how come you never forget to put your shoes on before you head out"? "It's funny how you can make sure that your phone bill is paid". "you sure don't miss a spot of makeup before you go out on a date do you"?

    I really believe that lack of focus is just lack of prioritizing. People can get the things done that they deem important to them.

    So, I have been trying to figure out why it is that some of the things we "say" we want out of life we really don't put the same importance on it.

    A lot of folks that come in here can get up and go to work every day because they have to pay the bills but when it comes to answering yourself to pay the bills it isn't as important. You don't have the discipline to do it.

    The excuse is "I need to work on self discipline" but the reality is that you have enough of it to get up and go to work. Put your clothes on in the morning. Put gas in the car. Shopping. Eating....

    So I think people need to look at why they don't find something as important as other things. Get past all of the excuses and get real with asking that question.

    "Why don't I think working for myself is as important as working for someone else"?
    Then you could get to the root, "why am I not as important to myself as other people are to me"?

    "Why don't I love or respect myself as much as I do others"?

    Instead of looking for another pill for ADD or buying programs to learn self-discipline or telling yourself you lack focus, ask yourself why you don't accept yourself.

    Matt
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  • Profile picture of the author kdsm100
    Lack of self-discipline for me is directly proportional to lack of structure in my life.

    I was lucky to have been able to semi-retire in my mid 40's but have found that to be a mixed blessing. It's been over 12 years now and I'm looking at doing IM or something that gives me structure.

    What is the old story about how women hated when their husband retired because he was always underfoot not knowing what to do with himself?
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  • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
    My lazyness and preference for reading interesting books is my main distraction.

    I don't really have anything controlled by anyone else that can stop me.
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    • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
      Originally Posted by Brad Spencer View Post

      1. Too much consuming content versus time spent producing content.

      2. Mental road blocks (depressive moods when stuff goes wrong or doesn't work out as planned)

      3. Getting off my ass to do stuff

      4. Focusing on the wrong tasks (remember 80% of your results come from 20% of your tasks...)
      All easy to relate to, Brad. Now, what to do about it?

      Originally Posted by Matthew Maiden View Post

      But my argument with her has always been "honey, how come you never forget to put your shoes on before you head out"? "It's funny how you can make sure that your phone bill is paid". "you sure don't miss a spot of makeup before you go out on a date do you"?

      I really believe that lack of focus is just lack of prioritizing. People can get the things done that they deem important to them.
      Matthew, I've read a number of your posts and am continually appreciative at the depth of insight they contain, and this one is no different. You're right that we can get the things done that we deem important. For instance, someone once told me they had to break plans with me because they "couldn't get a ride", so i asked, "do you think you could find a ride if there was a million dollar check waiting here for you?"

      Of course they could bribe someone for a ride if that were the case, but it's just a way of demonstrating how much they do, or do not, value something.

      Originally Posted by Matthew Maiden View Post

      So, I have been trying to figure out why it is that some of the things we "say" we want out of life we really don't put the same importance on it.
      To me, it's always seemed because there are activities that reinforce certain self-images and which help us stay hyper-focused and we NEED those like medicine.

      When a person says they want to do something, they have to see themselves in that role first. If they don't, they'll only have the attention for the things that reinforce the current self-image. Part of what helps keep the old self-image alive are "excuses"... we see others excuses as bold-face lies... when, in reality, they are manifestations of DENIAL which is sub-conscious.

      Originally Posted by Matthew Maiden View Post

      The excuse is "I need to work on self discipline" but the reality is that you have enough of it to get up and go to work. Put your clothes on in the morning. Put gas in the car. Shopping. Eating....

      I think people need to look at why they don't find something as important as other things. Get past all of the excuses and get real with asking that question.

      "Why don't I think working for myself is as important as working for someone else"? Then you could get to the root, "why am I not as important to myself as other people are to me"?

      "Why don't I love or respect myself as much as I do others"?

      Instead of looking for another pill for ADD or buying programs to learn self-discipline or telling yourself you lack focus, ask yourself why you don't accept yourself.
      Or, why you don't accept the self you wish to be... for there is the self that one IS, and the self that one claims to want to BE. But, just like any seedling, the new self-image has to be protected, fed and maintained and the old self-image doesn't care very much for the competition. And neither do the friends and family for whom it keeps THEIR self-images alive, too.

      That's why Robert Kiyosaki says, "If you want to see where you'll be 10 years from now, just look at the people you hang around with."

      Originally Posted by kdsm100 View Post

      Lack of self-discipline for me is directly proportional to lack of structure in my life.

      I was lucky to have been able to semi-retire in my mid 40's but have found that to be a mixed blessing. It's been over 12 years now and I'm looking at doing IM or something that gives me structure.

      What is the old story about how women hated when their husband retired because he was always underfoot not knowing what to do with himself?
      I can relate to your situation. I was born with a very successful family business already formed around me. I had many safety nets under me and, because of that, I had to find creative ways to develop the parts of me that did not grow during those years.

      Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

      My lazyness and preference for reading interesting books is my main distraction.

      I don't really have anything controlled by anyone else that can stop me.
      I don't find this to be precisely true based on the premise that those in our formative years put their voices into us so that they go with us throughout our later years. You're right in that no one else is controlling it, but if it remains in the sub-conscious, then it continues to operate there outside of your locus of control.

      Thanks to everyone for responding so far. These are great replies.
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  • Profile picture of the author jbsmith
    For me, I get less and less productive through the day - so my solution starting about 3-years ago was to go to bed 1-hour ealier and get up 1-hour earlier.

    Now, I'm at my PC at 6AM most mornings, getting most of my overnight customer support, maintenance and JV/partner emails out of the way before Breakfast.

    Then, I do breakfast with the family - see my kids off to school, reserve at least 1-hour to each of content development and key strategic marketing work.

    Prioritization along with knowing what YOUR most important role is in your business are the keys.

    For example, you could outline an info product in 1-hour in a day, post an outsource project on Rentacoder - that's critical as others will go to work for you over the next few days. But...if you had decided to do something else, surf the web, so some accounting, check email - nobody is working for you and your product will never come out.

    The final tip - use leverage wherever you can. Use your time finding partners that will promote your products for weeks to come. Outline products that others can research and develop for you. Perform keyword research so others can write some blog or article content for you. Smart use of time.

    Jeff
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  • Profile picture of the author jasondinner
    Why focus on what keeps you from making money when we all should be
    focusing on what will make us money?

    The more you talk or write about what holds you back, the more it will hold you back.

    Jim Collins talked a lot about "Stop Doing" Lists in Good To Great.

    Publicly announcing our limitations should definitely be on all of our "Stop Doing" lists.
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  • Profile picture of the author sree94
    One thing that has held me back recently is that I'm finally making pretty good money, so I am not constantly striving to make more. I am actually enjoying that money now.

    Also, two months ago, I hated my job with a passion and just wanted to have my own business so bad so that I could quit. But now things are going better and I am more comfortable.

    I know that IM is really what I want to do full time and not my current J.O.B. but for the time being, I am focusing on other things (namely, using my funds to pay off debt)
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Coverdale
      My lazyness and spending too much time on the warrior forum.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      "Why don't I think working for myself is as important as working for someone else"?
      Then you could get to the root, "why am I not as important to myself as other people are to me"?
      Those are perceptive questions. I was making a similar lecture to myself a few days ago as a kick to get started on two projects I've been rolling around in my head for many weeks.

      I'm not lazy but I can be self indulgent. I love to read and spend hours with good books. Today I had a bad case of Spring Fever - and gorgeous weather so the dogs and I went out and enjoyed it.

      It's easy to blame someone else for holding you back - but most of us do it to ourselves. I know I do. The cure for me is to get started on something whether it's a new set of articles or a new site or whatever. If I waited for motivation, I'd never work. If I start working, it motivates me to keep going.

      kay
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      I'm going to work on being less condescending
      (Condescending means to talk down to people)
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      • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
        Originally Posted by jasondinner View Post

        Why focus on what keeps you from making money when we all should be
        focusing on what will make us money?

        The more you talk or write about what holds you back, the more it will hold you back.

        Jim Collins talked a lot about "Stop Doing" Lists in Good To Great.

        Publicly announcing our limitations should definitely be on all of our "Stop Doing" lists.
        Hi Jason, I'm one of those who sees that as a kind of dangerous new-ageist philosophy. The fact is, you have to IDENTIFY a problem before you can focus on the SOLUTION. I think what you might have meant is that it's not good to DWELL on what's holding one back, but let's face it, if you can't see the WALL in front of you, or you can't name the DEMON that binds you, then the only progress you're going to make is in your imagination... until life intrudes, that is.

        Originally Posted by sree94 View Post

        One thing that has held me back recently is that I'm finally making pretty good money, so I am not constantly striving to make more. I am actually enjoying that money now.
        Very good point... there's a lot of people who are intelligent enough to make 20 times their current earnings but, on an emotional level, they're perfectly comfortable with their current success. Again, good point.

        Originally Posted by Mark Coverdale View Post

        My lazyness and spending too much time on the warrior forum.
        Duly noted!!! lol

        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        I'm not lazy but I can be self indulgent. I love to read and spend hours with good books. Today I had a bad case of Spring Fever - and gorgeous weather so the dogs and I went out and enjoyed it.

        It's easy to blame someone else for holding you back - but most of us do it to ourselves. I know I do. The cure for me is to get started on something whether it's a new set of articles or a new site or whatever. If I waited for motivation, I'd never work. If I start working, it motivates me to keep going.
        Hi Kay, yes, Matthew's post was very insightful. Might I suggest that hours with books and walking the dogs must never be considered an impediment? Perhaps OVER-INDULGING in such things might be, but with moderation, those things sound very healthy to me. What we need to do online should generally take a mere 1-3 hours per day, perhaps only 3-5 days per week.

        I can't imagine you walk the dogs or read so many books that you don't have 9-15 hours per week to devote to this. So, can you think of anything else that might be getting in the way?

        Best wishes to all and thank you for sharing. I learn from this as much as any of you.

        Eric
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        • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
          Originally Posted by BizBoost View Post

          Hi Jason, I'm one of those who sees that as a kind of dangerous new-ageist philosophy. The fact is, you have to IDENTIFY a problem before you can focus on the SOLUTION. I think what you might have meant is that it's not good to DWELL on what's holding one back, but let's face it, if you can't see the WALL in front of you, or you can't name the DEMON that binds you, then the only progress you're going to make is in your imagination... until life intrudes, that is.


          Eric
          I thought you were baiting for that answer in your OP so I purposely avoided the 'we shouldn't focus on what's not working' response It would be like a red flag to a bull, especially when the bull asked specifically for what holds you back.

          While I agree that 'tuning' yourself 'in' to the positive choices you would like to make, there are plenty of people thinking positively and getting positively disappointing results, so there's obviously more to it than that. Maybe it's all in the level of belief.

          Andy
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          • Profile picture of the author sylviad
            Straight up, the biggest things holding me back I could resolve.

            1. Too easily distracted. That's because what I see is important, but rather than waiting until a better time, I go do it NOW. A much more manageable solutions would be to jot down that particular activity as a reminder and continue working on my current project until it's done.

            2. Brain freeze. That's when I've done so much hard thinking that the idea of doing more triggers stress because my brain is frozen.

            3. Running into tasks that require a lot of high-energy attention, and getting stressed when I realize I don't have what I need to proceed. ie: searching for and contacting JV partners. While it might not sound like a high-energy task to you, it is for me because of my limited ability to focus for long periods of time on such a tedious task. Restlessness usually steps in and I move onto something more interesting instead.

            4. Running into tasks that I don't know how to do and being already in brain freeze mode makes it almost impossible to focus on learning what I need to know.

            Sylvia
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        • Profile picture of the author jasondinner
          Originally Posted by BizBoost View Post

          Hi Jason, I'm one of those who sees that as a kind of dangerous new-ageist philosophy. The fact is, you have to IDENTIFY a problem before you can focus on the SOLUTION. I think what you might have meant is that it's not good to DWELL on what's holding one back, but let's face it, if you can't see the WALL in front of you, or you can't name the DEMON that binds you, then the only progress you're going to make is in your imagination... until life intrudes, that is.
          Eric
          Yes you have a point, but I'll bet that most that listed their self limitations here
          have said or written these things several times about themselves in the past.

          So they are just reinforcing what has been holding them back once again.

          Not everyone, but probably more than half I would guestimate.

          - Jason
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          • Profile picture of the author Cackle
            Never enough money.
            Never the right time.
            Not enough time.
            Some other time :-).
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            • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
              Originally Posted by jayden.fellze View Post

              There are a lot of things that lose my focus on my business, first things are the workloads, it makes me feel lazy when I think about my itinerary for the day. I am trying to conquer it, to stop my procrastination. I like watching tv and playing with my pets most of the time, these are some of the reasons that holds me back for my success.
              So, instead of scheduling playtime with your pets, or scheduling (or TIVOing) your favorite shows, you kind of drift off into those activities as a way, it seems, of medicating... would that sound about right? I've seen it happen in myself, and others... activities that would normally be characterized as healthy and fun are, instead, engaged in as distractions. Usually when the unpleasant feeling of overwhelm, or analysis paralysis comes up.

              Perhaps you could make a SMALL exercise of dragging yourself back from that each time, for an hour from when it first starts, and for a mere 3 days... no need to instigate a huge backlash from the parts that resist... just a gentle experiment to build some internal muscle.

              Then tell us how it goes!

              Originally Posted by Mary Gallivan View Post

              For me it's aging parents and my lack of techy skills. At the moment I'm getting SO frustrated trying to create a simple landing page. It's the final step of something I've been working on lately and it's holding me back.

              Oh how I wish I could learn faster (sigh).
              Hi Mary, I have a word that you've heard so many times, you probably already know it's coming... OUTSOURCE! You could be making hundreds or thousands by now but, instead, you're wrestling with a landing page that someone could create for you for a mere $50-$75 on scriptlance.com

              Wouldn't you say you are fiercely stubborn?

              This is a case where Jason Dinner would be correct... no need to figure this one out... you have a simple task in front of you and you only need to listen to the wisdom around you saying, "OUTSOURCE IT!" ... if you don't, THEN you have an even deeper streak of stubbornness.

              Tell me, why don't you outsource it?

              Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

              I thought you were baiting for that answer in your OP so I purposely avoided the 'we shouldn't focus on what's not working' response It would be like a red flag to a bull, especially when the bull asked specifically for what holds you back.

              While I agree that 'tuning' yourself 'in' to the positive choices you would like to make, there are plenty of people thinking positively and getting positively disappointing results, so there's obviously more to it than that. Maybe it's all in the level of belief.
              It's in the self-image, Andy. But, to wit, you've had so much fun playing with me over the years that I have to let you think you've figured me out, sometimes, or else it won't be any more fun for you.

              Truth is, I was not attempting to goad that answer from anyone, but I *did* expect it. It's not a bad thing... it's just one of the finite, and predictable, responses one can have to this kind of questions.

              Originally Posted by sylviad View Post

              Straight up, the biggest things holding me back I could resolve.

              1. Too easily distracted. That's because what I see is important, but rather than waiting until a better time, I go do it NOW. A much more manageable solutions would be to jot down that particular activity as a reminder and continue working on my current project until it's done.

              2. Brain freeze. That's when I've done so much hard thinking that the idea of doing more triggers stress because my brain is frozen.

              3. Running into tasks that require a lot of high-energy attention, and getting stressed when I realize I don't have what I need to proceed. ie: searching for and contacting JV partners. While it might not sound like a high-energy task to you, it is for me because of my limited ability to focus for long periods of time on such a tedious task. Restlessness usually steps in and I move onto something more interesting instead.

              4. Running into tasks that I don't know how to do and being already in brain freeze mode makes it almost impossible to focus on learning what I need to know.
              Ok, this might sound simplistic, Sylvia, because many others than my self have already mentioned this, ad infinitum, but it is very clear, to me anyways, that you need to be reminded to... CREATE A PLAN.

              Then, you have to PRACTICE, sticking to the plan. That doesn't mean you will... but you have to PRACTICE sticking to the plan. Create something smaller and more manageable and, as you practice, observe, in as much detail as possible, what your state is when you get distracted and what, for the most part, is distracting you.

              This is not DWELLING on the obstruction... it's helping to identify it while building focus muscle.

              If you keep getting distracted, them make the bite-size experiment even smaller until you find your success point. Then you can add from there, just like weightlifting.

              I'd love to hear some of your observations from trying this.

              Originally Posted by Shannon Herod View Post

              Now, it is not that I didn't prioritize my life. I simply have so many thoughts running through my head at one time it is sometimes almost impossible to focus on one thing.

              I refuse to take drugs, but have worked really hard on my focus and can see dramatic results. But, like I said before... if you do not suffer from ADD it will be practically impossible for you to understand.
              Hi Shannon, I know you were responding to Matthew's quote but I just wanted to say that it doesn't seem entirely fair to say that just because someone doesn't have a particular affliction that they can't understand it. Maybe he doesn't understand it, for other reasons, but as the man said, his daughter has it so he can certainly develop an empathy for those who have it.

              Anyways, in this case, I agree with you. I do not believe it is lack of prioritizing. It is, in my opinion, the result of exposure to influences that require one to hyper-focus to maintain some kind of identity. When there's a task outside of the realm of hyper-focussing, the mind will wander until it finds something on which to hyper-focus. In the meanwhile, the task-at-hand was not completed. I think it's too much to really discuss here but it's safe to say that if a person doesn't know they have ADD, then it's going to be awfully hard to find the solution.

              Originally Posted by Pattaya-Addict View Post

              the fact that i dont need the money and laziness holds me back

              i also spend too much time reading and dont take alot of action

              also im horrendus at time management also
              Ok, "horrendous" is a negative, comparison-based judgment. If you hang on to that, it will make things more difficult. Your time management just is what it is and, if you want something that requires better time management, then you just need to improve it. But "horrendous" is entirely subjective and a hindrance as far as I'm concerned.

              As for laziness, I've said before I consider "laziness" a form of self-preservation... energy conservation. If, however, there is an urgent task at hand and you REFUSE to complete it, that's known as SLOTH... "willful avoidance of necessary effort." which is considered a deadly sin and is not the same as "laziness" which I consider as true "energy conservation."

              Be easy on yourself, man!

              Originally Posted by Sylvan Noel View Post

              too much distractions in the form of other obligations and entertainment.
              So, you can't say "No" to, or put off, others, but you can say "no" to, or put off, your success? Then you need entertainment to help you relax and forget such self-denial? Sounds like people-pleasing, followed by medicating, to me but that's just my opinion. Matt Maiden might have hit the nail on the head in your case where you just don't consider yourself important enough, or worthy, to work on manifesting your dreams.

              One helpful suggestion might be to simply practice, for short periods, like 1 hour per day, for 5 days, to just say "No!" to everyone who asks you for anything unless it is absolutely an emergency. And to refuse entertainment for a whole week. Just as a 1-week experiment, and take good note of what, within you, kicks and screams. Then share some of the results.

              Originally Posted by jasondinner View Post

              Yes you have a point, but I'll bet that most that listed their self limitations here
              have said or written these things several times about themselves in the past.

              So they are just reinforcing what has been holding them back once again.

              Not everyone, but probably more than half I would guestimate.
              Hi Jason, well, first, while I don't claim to be any kind of savior or psychologist, etc, not all events were created equally. In some instances where people are asked to share such things, there can be someone present who is, perhaps, a little less burdened by such things than most. Someone who has, for lack of a better term, walked this portion of the path, so-to-speak. Only time and experience will tell us if that's the case, but it certainly is a possibility.

              That being said, I completely understand your defense of your argument. I understand that some people who complain and dwell on their problems are not necessarily reinforcing their problems, but can be reinforcing their sense of helplessness. This would be true if it reinforced a sense of victimhood and was seeking after self-pity which can, by the way, be extremely intoxicating.

              But what I began here was not a thread to merely gain exposure by simply having people dwell on what was holding them back, thus possibly reinforcing their sense of helplessness; but, rather to give a little nudge to people via new insight, or a different angle, or a small exercise suggestion, in the spirit of helping those who can be helped to possibly discover what was REALLY holding them back.

              Like I said, if a person could IDENTIFY what was holding them back, then they could then find and apply the solution (or at least pay someone to help them), but if these people are, as you suggest, saying the same things over and over again, then it seems very likely to me that the things they are saying are NOT the real problem.

              There is something else... just beneath the surface, that is the real obstacle. And, some of us learn, from our marketing courses, even, that what comes AFTER it, is the rationalization...

              After all, Jason, how could spending time with someone's pets, reading really good books, or watching TV, really be a problem?

              All these things are symptoms, not problems. They are ALREADY reinforced... mentioning them again in a more competent setting can help shake them up a little. This is not dwelling.

              Originally Posted by Cackle View Post

              Never enough money.
              Never the right time.
              Not enough time.
              Some other time :-).
              This would be a good example of that to which, I believe, Jason was referring. That is not even an effort to be specific. It's just re-affirming a sense of scarcity and lack. If you meant it to be funny, that's ok. But, if you really believe it, then it seems something within you is protecting itself by being purposely vague and comical. You might do well as an internet marketing comedian, though. It'd be a great niche.

              Best wishes to all. Thank you for the great replies,
              Eric
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  • Profile picture of the author jayden.fellze
    There are a lot of things that lose my focus on my business, first things are the workloads, it makes me feel lazy when I think about my itinerary for the day. I am trying to conquer it, to stop my procrastination. I like watching tv and playing with my pets most of the time, these are some of the reasons that holds me back for my success.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mary Gallivan
    For me it's aging parents and my lack of techy skills. At the moment I'm getting SO frustrated trying to create a simple landing page. It's the final step of something I've been working on lately and it's holding me back.

    Oh how I wish I could learn faster (sigh).

    Mary
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  • Profile picture of the author Shannon Herod
    I really believe that lack of focus is just lack of prioritizing. People can get the things done that they deem important to them.
    I understand what you're trying to say, and can agree partly. But, unless you suffer from ADD you will never really understand it. I will walk out the door to take a movie back to the movie store. Then I'll drive past the movie store because I'm thinking of something else. Once I finally remember I was going to the movie store and get there; I realized I totally forgot to pick the movie up on the way out the door.

    Now, it is not that I didn't prioritize my life. I simply have so many thoughts running through my head at one time it is sometimes almost impossible to focus on one thing.

    I refuse to take drugs, but have worked really hard on my focus and can see dramatic results. But, like I said before... if you do not suffer from ADD it will be practically impossible for you to understand.

    Regards,

    Shannon Herod
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    • Profile picture of the author Alan Mc Donald
      the fact that i dont need the money and laziness holds me back

      i also spend too much time reading and dont take alot of action

      also im horrendus at time management also
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  • Profile picture of the author Bert Ritz
    I have an entirely different problem...not having the proper equipment or tools. I have no money to spare, trying desparately to keep up with the bills. So I'm stuck with an old Windows 98 computer and to make matters worse, I am on dial up with 1940's telephone lines. It was windy a few days ago, and Oh Boy, did that make keeping a connection challenging.
    So, what would take you people maybe 1 or 2 hours to do, sometimes takes me 5 or 6 hours to do. Some evenings I feel I wasted the day just attempting to list a couple things on ebay, or make a few postings. It's exhausting and frustrating, but I never give up.
    Anyone who wants to donate a laptop, well my PM is open!
    Bert
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    • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
      Greetings... I've separated the replies to the most current posts into 2 posts, this being the first:

      Originally Posted by Bert Ritz View Post

      I have an entirely different problem...not having the proper equipment or tools. I have no money to spare, trying desparately to keep up with the bills. So I'm stuck with an old Windows 98 computer and to make matters worse, I am on dial up with 1940's telephone lines. It was windy a few days ago, and Oh Boy, did that make keeping a connection challenging.
      Hi Bert, I'm going to make this easy for you. You might make it difficult for yourself but this is really easy. In fact, I can't take credit for it because I heard it from guys like Robert Kiyosaki and Og Mandino, and it goes like this:

      PAY YOURSELF FIRST

      Screw the utility companies. They won't shut off your electricity or heat for at least 6-8 months, but if you don't modernize, you won't make a dime online for another 6-8 YEARS.


      Your task, if you choose to accept it, is to do EVERYTHING LEGAL within your power of creative thinking to
      1. PAY yourself 30% of your income FIRST, to put towards either a new computer, or an upgrade if it's less expensive;
      2. Research OPTIMIZED Dial-up lines. Some services advertise much faster speeds than usual dial-up;
      3. Get, at least, ONE general "make money online" ad on your blogs since, I'll bet, the bulk of any traffic you might get will be coming from here. No matter how small that might be, a general MMO ad will have broad appeal;
      Numbers 1 and 2 are most important right now. Let us know when you've accomplished them.

      Originally Posted by tlcmkt View Post

      What takes my attention.

      Problem Clients who don't recognize the value of what you are offering them Finances (me: financially?)
      Hi Michael, I learned this next point from a long-term family business but it's reiterated nicely in Timothy Ferris', "The Four-Hour Work Week"... when it comes to problem clients, you have to know when to

      KICK THEM TO THE CURB

      I don't want to sound all fancy schmancy quoting Pareto's Law but 80% of your problems are going to come from 20% of your clients. If you think about the cost of aggravation versus your peace of mind and what you could do with the free time, it will probably do you some real good to start identifying which clients you can send packing.. or, perhaps, refer to a friend for a commission. But, take this seriously.

      Originally Posted by BigVin View Post

      as to the original questions...

      Spending my time writing lists!
      Hi Vin, I'm in kind of hyper-focused serious mode right now so I'm really not sure if you're making a tongue-in-cheek joke, but, if you're not joking, then what, to me, it seems you have is beyond the scope of my intent here. Like friends I know, who endlessly write lists, there could be a touch of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) which would be best diagnosed/tended to by a doctor... not me. Sorry man, but good luck... either getting treatment, or as a comedian.

      Originally Posted by Christie Love View Post

      The things that get in the way of my progress would definitely have to be my tiredness. I can't work unless I'm well rested and sometimes have to take a nap during the day to recharge.

      As long as I write out my to-do list before bed each night, I pretty much stay on track with my daily goals even if I don't finish until late in the evening. If you're having trouble staying on track, try writing out a daily list of projects to accomplish and don't stop your day until they're all done.
      Hi Christie, it's my guess, and ONLY a guess, that you are not only an over-achiever but that everything on your daily lists is either not absolutely essential to accomplish that day, or, if they are, not absolutely necessary to be accomplished by you alone. If you disagree, then I would suggest you find 3 people you trust and ask them if any of the tasks seem non-essential, and, of those that remain, which they believe could be farmed out somehow.

      After, what I would suggest is to have 2 lists... a master list and a sub list. On the sub-list, you put the 3 most pressing tasks from the master list, and you only add another once you've accomplished one of the three.

      Tiring yourself out each day with large lists is, I believe, a side-effect of over-compensation. But, Christie, you deserve to have lots of energy and peace of mind, and you can. Consider the suggestions, if you will.

      Originally Posted by Cindy Carraway View Post

      Too much time at the stinkin' day job that I want to quit- NOW! Can't spend any quality time doing what I want to be doing (which is to work from home) because of always having to be at work (plus commuting). Then get home and hurry up and tend to my kids, elderly parents, household and then I have a whole 10 minutes to myself to get on my computer before I crash and then repeat everything all over the next day. I'm already sleep deprived and so getting by on less is not an option. I desperately want to break free from the boss, but how can I successfully make the transition? This is really killing me.
      Simple, but not necessarily easy. Again, I refer to Timothy Ferris', "The Four Hour Work Week" in which he devotes, I believe, a whole chapter to convincing your boss to allow you to tele-commute. In other words, even if you can see no way to it now, Ferris gives an excellent abundance of advice on how to convince your boss that S/HE is a lot better off with you working from home. Go get the book! In the very least, go check out the section on Tele-Commuting at your local bookstore.

      Then share your thoughts on what you read.

      Originally Posted by sevenish View Post

      As a consultant, it's your job to know all about their business and how your services will help their business. AND you need to be able to explain how and why you can help. That's where *marketing* comes in handy.

      Sorry. Now back to your regularly-scheduled programming.
      Ha...! Hi Seven, your interruption was not an interruption but welcome. It's all good. But, I'm going to have to diverge a bit from what you just said because a consultant doesn't need to know ALL about someone's business. They only need to know what the client needs to learn and be able to teach it to him or her.

      But, even more importantly, the consultant has to know when an aggravating client is no longer worth the return and when, and how, to kick that client to the curb, or funnel them off into a friends business for a referral fee.

      The old days of "the customer is always right" and having to put up with unruly customer's time, energy and fund-draining aggravation are over.... that's a big part of the appeal of online marketing. And, it can now certainly be used in offline business, too, because you can leverage the web quickly to get new ones.

      Originally Posted by GarryMSayer View Post

      1). My wife bursting into my office telling me how great it is she has sold something else on EBAY - she's sold a lot of Serif Webplus X2 software the past couple of weeks, everyone in Essex knows about it so I may as well tell you guys too!

      2). My cat just wanting a fuss at the most inappropriate times.

      3). Cookery tv programmes, as an ex-chef anything to do with food is a welcome distraction for me but it ends up eating into too much of my own valuable time.

      4). Used to be twitter now it's Youtube.


      5). This at the moment!
      Hi Garry, sounds to me like you need one, or BOTH, of the following things:
      1. A place you can work OUTSIDE of your house; and/or,
      2. Someone to stand over you with a whip.
      I strongly suggest both, but my guess is that number 1 is the most realistic for you. And cut your steak (tasks) into bite-size pieces so you can get some sense of accomplishment even if you don't quite cook the whole enchilada every time out.

      And tell the wife you're devoting a very special slot of time each day for her exciting outbursts, and keep her to it.

      Alrighty, look forward to any replies.

      Best wishes,
      Eric
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      • Profile picture of the author GarryMSayer
        Thanks for the comments.

        My wife is most offended that I have detailed, exhibited and paraded (some of ) her excitable outbursts for all the world to see.

        But seriously, working from home is a privilege - normally whatever I don't get done in the daytime I get done in the evening.

        The distractions are normally a pleasure not a curse.

        But remind me to cancel that EBAY account sometime!!
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        • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
          Originally Posted by sevenish View Post

          Other issues for me: kids kids kids kids kids. Although the interruptions are far fewer than the valuable lessons they teach me every day. I'm not sure how the kids know what lessons I need, but they figure it out and get it on the schedule first thing every morning.

          It's weird that it moves me forward in ways that I can't ever anticipate. It just works.
          Ok, that's all cute, really, but the kids don't teach you how to be successful at internet marketing, step-by-step. And my father took me to work every now and then but 90% of the time he went to work without me so he could concentrate on his work. Sounds like that's something from which you could benefit...

          Originally Posted by IdeaSponge View Post

          My unquenchable curiosity is great asset but also a big distraction. I have a bad habit of reading about ever tip and trick but never taking action. Reading posts, devouring ebooks, reading threads on WF and listening to seminars is like crack to me. I love finding that latest and greatest at the expense of action.

          I am getting it under control though. I kind of use use it as the carrot that is just out of my reach. I do not allow myself the indulgence until X amount of tasks have been completed (and here I am).
          Forgive the term, but on the inside, marketers call people who behave that way, "program junkies" or "guru groupies"... and it usually comes from a life of not knowing what one really wants. So, in a word, what do you want?

          Originally Posted by 2PercentPlan View Post

          Twitter, and email. Took my whole day today.
          Tim Ferris' "Four Hour Work Week" teaches, very well, how to manage such things. You only check your email twice per day and only allow yourself to receive the most important/relevant emails that SUPPORT your goals.

          Twitter is ok, at first, but just realize, to put it bluntly, that if you use it all day, then you're totally someone else's b****. Really.

          Originally Posted by mmr77 View Post

          i have passing more time on internet.
          Try going for a walk first thing in the morning. Then come back to a nice cup of coffee and a PLAN.

          Originally Posted by hlstew View Post

          I buy stuff and read it, think it's great, sometimes start the task, then buy something else.
          I love to read and learn, but not to do.
          I would like to be handed a business on a plate.
          I want something straightforward to start.
          Although my mind knows there is no magic button, something inside me keeps wanting it to exist.
          I am tempted by every offer I see.
          I procrastinate.
          I feel envious of people who are actually making money.
          I think I have traded my penchant for buying clothes for buying IM material.
          I blow hours and hours on the computer doing nothing but reading.
          I have a bright, intelligent, active mind but do not put it to proper use.
          I now want to buy a Mindset course. :-)
          That's about all I can think of.
          I'm willing to be some people see your list as "just crazy...", but, I would gladly bet that it's a PERFECT example of what many people are going through day after day after day.

          Again, not to sound like a recording, but you need a clear GOAL and a PLAN to get there. Make that your PRIORITY. What I would tell a friend is, "when you "come to" and realize you've gotten pulled into one of the distractions, PEEL yourself away and go for a walk or a ride, then get back to your PLAN."

          Originally Posted by GarryMSayer View Post

          Thanks for the comments.

          My wife is most offended that I have detailed, exhibited and paraded (some of ) her excitable outbursts for all the world to see.
          And I'll bet that;s just the tip of the iceberg.

          Originally Posted by GarryMSayer View Post

          But seriously, working from home is a privilege - normally whatever I don't get done in the daytime I get done in the evening.

          The distractions are normally a pleasure not a curse.

          But remind me to cancel that EBAY account sometime!!
          Distractions are distractions. When I studied Buddhist meditation with a Catholic monk , he emphatically informed us that "the bad thoughts" are the ones we all know about... and think of them as bad to intrude... but when you are trying to focus on something, even "the good thoughts" are not actually good at that moment. They're still from the monkey mind that just wants to bounce around with no end-game in mind.

          So, even if your distractions are pleasant, they're still robbing you of valuable time and energy... but, if you don't mind, that's your right...

          Best wishes,
          Eric
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          • Profile picture of the author GarryMSayer
            Buddhist meditation from a catholic monk - sounds like someone distracted from practising their religion. I bet that's the tip of a bigger iceberg!
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          • Profile picture of the author GarryMSayer
            Sorry didn't mean to write that in bold.
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          • Profile picture of the author sevenish
            Originally Posted by BizBoost View Post

            Ok, that's all cute, really, but the kids don't teach you how to be successful at internet marketing, step-by-step.
            Sounds like you don't know much about dealing with real people and problems, let alone knowing enough about how to solicit information from people on forums and elsewhere. You asked about problems, now you're telling me my problems are too cute and don't count.

            I'm sure you have a product that you'll be slinging soon. And I'll be looking for it.
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            • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
              Originally Posted by sevenish View Post

              Sounds like you don't know much about dealing with real people and problems, let alone knowing enough about how to solicit information from people on forums and elsewhere. You asked about problems, now you're telling me my problems are too cute and don't count.

              I'm sure you have a product that you'll be slinging soon. And I'll be looking for it.
              Hi Sevenish, originally, you said,

              I'm not sure how the kids know what lessons I need, but they figure it out and get it on the schedule first thing every morning.

              It's weird that it moves me forward in ways that I can't ever anticipate. It just works.
              Originally, I asked what was holding each person back. That's what this was about.

              So, you started by saying that your kids hold you back, then you started talking about their wonderful teachings... and how they know what you need and so on...

              I said that your children teaching you lessons was cute. What I inferred from that, though, is that while your children might teach you some wonderful life lessons, they don't know things like article marketing, or pay-per-click, so, as cute as they might be, their lessons cant teach you the nitty gritty of internet marketing.

              Listen, I'm glad to discuss things with people and challenge them to think in new ways -- as you can see by the other exchanges in this thread, but I don't want to work with you because I want this to remain fun and light-hearted and, frankly, you just got negative for no reason at all, accused me of something I didn't mean, and attacked me for it.

              There's enough of that in the world already... especially with someone as outspoken as I... and there's plenty of other pleasant, well-adjusted people who know how to play nice and want to.

              Originally Posted by ForeverMoore View Post

              1. Sleep
              2. 9 - 5
              Sounds like something a lot of us can relate to...

              Best regards...
              Eric
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      • Profile picture of the author twoblind
        Thanks for the reminder. That book was excellent. I probably need to go back and read it again.
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        • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
          Originally Posted by tlcmkt View Post

          Thanks for the reminder. That book was excellent. I probably need to go back and read it again.
          I'll bet you get a LOT more from it this time around, if you do!

          Originally Posted by mkarthik07 View Post

          Lack of self-discipline for me is directly proportional to lack of structure in my life.
          That's more profound than most people seem to realize. I think it's why some people fill their lives with all kinds of nonsene just to feel as if they have structure.
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  • Profile picture of the author twoblind
    What takes my attention.

    Problem Clients who don't recognize the value of what you are offering them
    Finances

    Michael Blaes
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    • Profile picture of the author sevenish
      Originally Posted by tlcmkt View Post

      What takes my attention.

      Problem Clients who don't recognize the value of what you are offering them
      Finances

      Michael Blaes
      Sorry for the interruption: No client will recognize the value of your services unless you can make it clear to them. They don't know anything about your services unless you educate them. Your clients know all about their business and that's all you can expect -- which is a good thing if you know how to approach it.

      As a consultant, it's your job to know all about their business and how your services will help their business. AND you need to be able to explain how and why you can help. That's where *marketing* comes in handy.

      Sorry. Now back to your regularly-scheduled programming.
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  • Profile picture of the author BigVin
    as to the original questions...

    Spending my time writing lists!
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    The life of a marketing nut...
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    • Profile picture of the author iwebtopia
      Too much time at the stinkin' day job that I want to quit- NOW! Can't spend any quality time doing what I want to be doing (which is to work from home) because of always having to be at work (plus commuting). Then get home and hurry up and tend to my kids, elderly parents, household and then I have a whole 10 minutes to myself to get on my computer before I crash and then repeat everything all over the next day. I'm already sleep deprived and so getting by on less is not an option. I desperately want to break free from the boss, but how can I successfully make the transition? This is really killing me.
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      Have a great domain for IM niche. PM if interested.

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  • Profile picture of the author Christie Love
    The things that get in the way of my progress would definitely have to be my tiredness. I can't work unless I'm well rested and sometimes have to take a nap during the day to recharge.

    As long as I write out my to-do list before bed each night, I pretty much stay on track with my daily goals even if I don't finish until late in the evening. If you're having trouble staying on track, try writing out a daily list of projects to accomplish and don't stop your day until they're all done.
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  • Profile picture of the author GarryMSayer
    Hi,

    Major distractions that prevent me from doing what needs to be done.

    Just a handful for you in no particular order.

    1). My wife bursting into my office telling me how great it is she has sold something else on EBAY - she's sold a lot of Serif Webplus X2 software the past couple of weeks, everyone in Essex knows about it so I may as well tell you guys too!

    2). My cat just wanting a fuss at the most inappropriate times.

    3). Cookery tv programmes, as an ex-chef anything to do with food is a welcome distraction for me but it ends up eating into too much of my own valuable time.

    4). Used to be twitter now it's Youtube.

    5). This at the moment!
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  • Profile picture of the author sevenish
    Other issues for me: kids kids kids kids kids. Although the interruptions are far fewer than the valuable lessons they teach me every day. I'm not sure how the kids know what lessons I need, but they figure it out and get it on the schedule first thing every morning.

    It's weird that it moves me forward in ways that I can't ever anticipate. It just works.
    Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author IdeaSponge
    My unquenchable curiosity is great asset but also a big distraction. I have a bad habit of reading about ever tip and trick but never taking action. Reading posts, devouring ebooks, reading threads on WF and listening to seminars is like crack to me. I love finding that latest and greatest at the expense of action.

    I am getting it under control though. I kind of use use it as the carrot that is just out of my reach. I do not allow myself the indulgence until X amount of tasks have been completed (and here I am).
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  • Profile picture of the author 2PercentPlan
    Twitter, and email. Took my whole day today.
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  • Profile picture of the author mmr77
    i have passing more time on internet.
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  • Profile picture of the author hlstew
    I buy stuff and read it, think it's great, sometimes start the task, then buy something else.
    I love to read and learn, but not to do.
    I would like to be handed a business on a plate.
    I want something straightforward to start.
    Although my mind knows there is no magic button, something inside me keeps wanting it to exist.
    I am tempted by every offer I see.
    I procrastinate.
    I feel envious of people who are actually making money.
    I think I have traded my penchant for buying clothes for buying IM material.
    I blow hours and hours on the computer doing nothing but reading.
    I have a bright, intelligent, active mind but do not put it to proper use.
    I now want to buy a Mindset course. :-)
    That's about all I can think of.
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  • Profile picture of the author helenaja
    Although I try not to focus on the negatives, perhaps awareness is a good thing too. I think lack of planning and easily succumbing to distractions are my hinderances. Still working on it.:p
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    • Profile picture of the author BizBoost
      Originally Posted by helenaja View Post

      Although I try not to focus on the negatives, perhaps awareness is a good thing too. I think lack of planning and easily succumbing to distractions are my hinderances. Still working on it.:p
      Good insight. Being aware of negative habits is a good thing... it can lead to correction. Identifying with them is where we get in trouble. Thank you.

      Originally Posted by GarryMSayer View Post

      Buddhist meditation from a catholic monk - sounds like someone distracted from practising their religion. I bet that's the tip of a bigger iceberg!
      Funny guy, you are, Garry... funny guyyyyy...!

      Eric
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  • Profile picture of the author ForeverMoore
    1. Sleep
    2. 9 - 5
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  • Profile picture of the author mkarthik07
    Lack of self-discipline for me is directly proportional to lack of structure in my life.
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