What to do when friends and family don't support your efforts

43 replies
Have you ever been called "crazy", "stupid", or "irresponsible" by family members or friends, because you want to earn a living working from home?

One of the worst things you can do is keep getting in fights with them again and again about this matter. Most people just don't "get" trying to build a home-based business. They are much more accustomed to the idea of having a job.

The best thing you can do is to stop talking, get focused, roll up your sleeves, and get to working on your online venture. You may even need to do it "in secret" for a little while.

After you start generating profit, THEN you can show it to them. That will convince them much more easily than any "rhetoric speech" you can give them about working online...
#efforts #family #friends #support
  • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
    I just ignore them. It's your life. You do what you have to do with it. If they
    can't understand that, tough.

    Life's too short to make compromises to others because they don't approve.

    So far, this philosophy has worked quite well for me.
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  • Profile picture of the author 100k
    Go on forums and cry about it.

    Or just be a man and tell them to mind their own business (and not bring that subject up).
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  • Profile picture of the author gabibeowulf
    They used to mock and criticize ... until I showed them the money.

    - Gabriel
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    • Profile picture of the author catcat
      If any of my close family members or friends were calling me "crazy", "stupid", or "irresponsible" I guess it would be time to really take a look at my relationship with them. Those are pretty harsh words to be flinging around! No matter what my life choices are!

      Cathy
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    • Profile picture of the author WeavingThoughts
      Originally Posted by gabibeowulf View Post

      They used to mock and criticize ... until I showed them the money.

      - Gabriel
      This.

      Once you show them that they work like monkeys and earn peanuts (in front of you) then tables turn.
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    • Profile picture of the author talfighel
      Originally Posted by gabibeowulf View Post

      They used to mock and criticize ... until I showed them the money.

      - Gabriel
      Gabriel, good for you. This should be an inspiration to everyone here.

      If you just don't give up and keep at it, things will work out.

      One day they will come to you and ask you if you are a millionaire yet as a joke but when you show them that you earned $xxxx.xx then that would probably SHUT them up for good.
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    • Profile picture of the author ccole
      Originally Posted by George Katsoudas View Post

      Have you ever been called "crazy", "stupid", or "irresponsible" by family members or friends, because you want to earn a living working from home?

      One of the worst things you can do is keep getting in fights with them again and again about this matter. Most people just don't "get" trying to build a home-based business. They are much more accustomed to the idea of having a job.

      The best thing you can do is to stop talking, get focused, roll up your sleeves, and get to working on your online venture. You may even need to do it "in secret" for a little while.

      After you start generating profit, THEN you can show it to them. That will convince them much more easily than any "rhetoric speech" you can give them about working online...
      My dad said the same to me when I started doing IM but I still pursued what I wanted to do. Mom was okay with the whole thing and just told my dad to let me do what I wanted to do. My girlfriend is so supportive as well that she is helping me with my IM ventures.

      Originally Posted by gabibeowulf View Post

      They used to mock and criticize ... until I showed them the money.

      - Gabriel
      That's the way to prove them wrong!
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  • Grow a thick skin and tell them, politely yet firmly, that it's your life and that their negative opinions are not appreciated.
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  • Profile picture of the author JoeMack
    Being looked at as "crazy" or "lazy" is the norm for those that make a full-time living online. Part of it stems from disbelief, but another part is simply jealousy. Being able to make money on your own terms is ideal for just about everyone, and those that are trading their time for dollars just aren't happy to see you do the seemingly impossible.

    Just brush it off. Keep doing what is right for you.

    JoeMack
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Just kindly and politely tell them that you are not a garbage dump so they can take their trash talk elsewhere. Follow that up with a quick wink.

      This has worked well for me.

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author lastdual
    Honestly, if a friend of mine quit their job to "make money online", I would probably think he was crazy unless he had already built up some experience.
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  • Profile picture of the author samalexis
    Absolutely nothing... Actions speak louder than words so let them do the talking. It's pointless to try to convince people who have their mind set anyway. Live your life for yourself and let the naysayers live their lives.
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  • Profile picture of the author willay
    All I have to say is..conventional working and jobs suck..they suck big time. lol. I think people are crazy for working crap jobs instead of doing something cool.
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  • Profile picture of the author senkcity
    I feel like being called "crazy", "stupid", or "irresponsible" is one thing. If your really serious about it, they must not see the amount of work your putting in. I feel like if you can show its a business and not like a get rich scheme their opinions will change.

    Then after you show that, and they don't change their opinion I agree its time to evaluate the relationship. I've from many people that you are a product of the 5 closest people to you...
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  • Profile picture of the author jgetsmoneyy
    I don't think this is anything unique to internet marketers, affiliate markerers, ecommerce professionals, etc. Most people have jobs and are reliant on a boss or company to support them, provide health insurance, provide retirement, etc. To many people its scary having to rely on yourself. When you work from home, own your own company, etc you are essentially what determines success or failure, there's noone to blame but yourself if things go wrong. I personaly like that though all people do not. I imagine people who start a consulting firm, open a restaurant, etc all face similar critique from family and friends. That said it's easier for people to understand doing IT consulting or opening a restaurant vs I'm gonna make my living running ads on my blog.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dude-Dastic
      Originally Posted by senkcity

      I feel like being called "crazy", "stupid", or "irresponsible" is one thing. If your really serious about it, they must not see the amount of work your putting in. I feel like if you can show its a business and not like a get rich scheme their opinions will change.
      Originally Posted by jgetsmoneyy

      I don't think this is anything unique to internet marketers, affiliate markerers, ecommerce professionals, etc. Most people have jobs and are reliant on a boss or company to support them, provide health insurance, provide retirement, etc. To many people its scary having to rely on yourself. When you work from home, own your own company, etc you are essentially what determines success or failure, there's noone to blame but yourself if things go wrong.
      Both of these quotes hold merit, as do all the others. People often say such things about those they love because they're scared for them. Not that that's right. And sometimes they say such things because they envy the freedom someone else has.

      IM isn't easy by any means. But if this is YOUR dream, go forth and live it. Let family and friends say what they will, because even when you're successful they'll still have something negative to say (again due to envy).

      Originally Posted by gabibeowulf

      They used to mock and criticize ... until I showed them the money.
      Nice headline!
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    • Profile picture of the author twinkenterprises
      I bet your family and friends are just concerned. They might think you are throwing away a good job that you had or have to work doing something that they don't understand, or they might think that you're doing a lot of work and getting paid very little for it. If you care about thier opinion you can show them proof that what you're doing is really making money and you feel better working for yourself then a company. You could also tell them that by working from home, you're saving money,like on gas and maintenence for the car, maybe being able to be flexable enough to do emergency errands for those who work all day in an office. I think people feel this way about any job that doesn't have a set wage or salary though too.

      Originally Posted by jgetsmoneyy View Post

      I don't think this is anything unique to internet marketers, affiliate markerers, ecommerce professionals, etc. Most people have jobs and are reliant on a boss or company to support them, provide health insurance, provide retirement, etc. To many people its scary having to rely on yourself. When you work from home, own your own company, etc you are essentially what determines success or failure, there's noone to blame but yourself if things go wrong. I personaly like that though all people do not. I imagine people who start a consulting firm, open a restaurant, etc all face similar critique from family and friends. That said it's easier for people to understand doing IT consulting or opening a restaurant vs I'm gonna make my living running ads on my blog.
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  • Profile picture of the author zenxseo
    1st they laugh on you
    they argue with you
    ones you are succeed they will follow you , and beg you to tech them too
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  • Profile picture of the author MKCookins
    Just simply explain in detail what you are doing - many people think that internet marketing is either something you can get rich off of by pressing a magic button, or it is all one big scam.

    Show them all the articles, videos, and the exact process you are doing - they will quickly realize that it is a lot more work to it then meets the eye
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  • Profile picture of the author gepisar
    Use it! Grab a pen, get them to tell you all their gripes, what they planned for their life, how it turned out - or not, list their concerns and how they see the solutions to life. (If that doesnt stop them, then KEEP going until you have enough for a good book) Ask the WF community for a good book title, grab a design from 99, then write the book! If youre open, blog about it - theres probably millions of people like you who need the solution to the same problem. Here in the UK, 25% of 25-39 year-olds still live at home with the parents. No one can afford a house, the traditional economy is making "traditional" good jobs hard to find... Lemons?Make Lemonaide... Good Luck
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  • Profile picture of the author ilynreal
    if they see your money they will envy you for sure.
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  • Profile picture of the author OutsourceFactor
    We don't really have that kind of problem in the Philippines as long as you're earning. For my other family members, however, it's a bit of a touchy subject when people ask them what my job is. They would usually say, "She's a nurse" (coz I graduated as one) and totally avoid the whole freelancing at home subject. I don't really mind because my other family members are conservative but I've never heard of them say any harsh words.

    Mea @ Outsource Factor
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  • Profile picture of the author Brad Hodge
    Lucky me that I have never experienced that, maybe because they like me more to stay at home for my safety lol. But in case that they say it to me, maybe I would just show them my proof of income.
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  • Profile picture of the author talfighel
    I would talk less to them about it and just do it day in a day out.

    If they keep talking to you about it and possibly making fun of you, just ignore it, laugh, and talk about something else. If you need to spend less time with them, then do that.

    This is your life and not there's. You are doing this for yourself because you have the vision that you don't want to be average and be an employee for life.

    You only get one life to live. Not 2 or 3. Don't let anyone ever still your dream.
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  • Profile picture of the author Roslyn Agosta
    At first they supported me, but when they saw that there was no 'fast' income they told me to stop. So, no I just do it without telling them I do it. Cause if they knew I was doing it they would continue annoy me and tell me to stop. So by them thinking I've stopped doing it they don't tell me off, and I can do it in peace.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Franklin
    No matter what you will do, you will NEVER please everyone so with IM the best thing you can do is make things happen on your own....Most people love to act as the naysayer especially in areas that they DON'T UNDERSTAND so just ignore them!

    There was a user on here not too long ago who posted in the main forum how he ended up losing his girlfriend/fiancee because she didn't support his IM efforts. Sure enough, he stuck to his guns and found overwhelming support on here. (His name escapes me but his post a while back was very inspiring, especially for those new to IM).

    The nice thing with IM is that although it is one of the most solitary endeavors that you will undertake, you will ironically find overwhelming community support on here when you need that boost to keep on pushing forward....The success/mind warriors board is a great place to draw strength from!
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  • Profile picture of the author sharpturn
    I like being the one that "had to be different".
    F**k 'em!
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  • Profile picture of the author kakucis
    This will give you some extra motivation to prove that you have made the right decision.

    I was in the same situation while I launched website after website and all turned out to be a failure. Once I made my firs website which generate naught income to make decent living, everyone started supporting me. So unless you are successful no one will support you and you should make at least one very successful project to turn things around.
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  • Profile picture of the author Noah Fleming
    There is NOTHING more detrimental to success than lousy relationships.

    When you're dealing with a spouse, if it's often more difficult to deal with.

    When dealing with friends, the answer is usually pretty simple.
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  • Profile picture of the author sethdrebitko
    Honestly I wouldn't even mention it. I don't talk about my IM ambitions with anyone because its just a job. If anyone asks I just tell them I have a hobby I do on the side for fun that pretty much covers costs. It can be pretty aggravating to hear about how great things will be when someone finally "makes" it and then...never does.
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  • Profile picture of the author Silas Hart
    When I was 16 I was making great money selling on eBay by hitting up all of the local garage sales and finding stuff to resell for a profit. I was 16 and blew a lot of the $4k+ a month I was making on a fast little car, clothing, gifts, I was renting out this little beach house 4 days out of the week when I was 17 and even took a bunch of friends to an amusement park in an RV I managed to rent. A month later I was raided for drugs because my parents and other people thought I was a drug dealer. The local MP (Military Police) actually seized all of my eBay inventory for about a month while I provided financial records to prove I wasn't a drug dealer.

    If I could offer some advice, distance yourself from them. I'm not saying shun them out of your life completely, but make your first big investment a nice rental office so you can leave and do your own thing for 8 hours a day. The whole going to another room and being left alone to work is almost impossible for most families, myself included.
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  • Profile picture of the author VinnieVegas
    I think the people in your life prefer for you to stay the same, and not make significant changes in your life.

    It's not envy or jealousy exactly. They're used to the you that they know and prefer it to the possibility of you becoming different.

    People in your life tend to cluster around income baseline averages. Take any set of friends and on average, they will have similar level income. There is some interest among people to maintain that norm.

    Deviation from the norm makes people nervous.
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  • Profile picture of the author Stuart Walker
    A lot of people just don't 'get it'. Some people are still of the idea that you can't make money from the internet or that it's fantasy. You just have to do what you do and show them the money until they have no choice but to believe it. A lot of it is jealousy too I think, people wish they had the ability to be able to create their own living but they aren't cut out for it and need a boss to tell them what to do.

    I could never go back to having a 'proper' 9 to 5 job now. I was never cut out for it and always wanted to find ways to be independent (both financially and location independent). I'm not cut out to have a boss or work for someone else so they can get rich off my effort.

    Just continue to do what you do and don't worry about it. Don't argue with them about it just get on with what you do best and continue to bring in the money.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lori Kelly
    When I'm talking to them, I'm sure to mention I can still be in my pajamas if I want to.

    I can take a day off without asking anyone.

    Vacations are great since I can work anywhere I have an internet connection.

    Life is short.

    The majority of people I talk to who have a job hate it. I have family members making a great deal of money but they're working for someone else. And they hate it.

    Their support doesn't dictate my future. Nor will I allow it to interfere with my attitude.
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  • Profile picture of the author pinakin
    I have been in the slimier situation just before 4-5 months when I completed my Masters and didn't joined any job, family expected its either a job or business(dad's) but I refused to do any of them and I asked for 6 months to show that I can earn money with one laptop and an Internet connection, my programming skills came in handy and I've got 4-5 programming jobs on oDesk after one month I was earning around 10,000 which $200 a month and that is a respectable amount for freshers in India I have learned Internet Marketing tactics during my spare time and I am currently banking around $600-$700 a month from IM only and my family members are now convinced that I can go for whatever I am doing
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  • Profile picture of the author Mo Jogee
    Having the same issue with wife. She sort of understands the concept but still has her doubts and worried am getting scammed! When I started I told a lot of people what am doing but most responses were empty stares and uncomfortable smiles. Then I realized best to stay quiet and soldier on until I got results to show time is worthwhile. It's funny how people understand most businesses apart from Internet marketing which is bizzare to say the least.
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  • Profile picture of the author RodMar
    That works for everything, not only your online business!

    Originally Posted by George Katsoudas View Post


    The best thing you can do is to stop talking, get focused, roll up your sleeves, and get to working on your online venture. You may even need to do it "in secret" for a little while.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joey Starkey
    Are you making money now? If the answer is yes then just hunker down and keep on working. I have a day job that I still need for Health Insurance. But things are going in the right direction and I have a plan.

    Work hard and Work smart, you will wind up with your dream and will make alot more money then the people that don't understand.

    Good Luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tony Wells
    Yep, agreed.

    It's really hard to convince someone to change their beliefs and opinions.

    The best way to do it is to be a shining example yourself first, and you'll naturally "win them over".
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  • Profile picture of the author datingworld
    Oh, most of my friends are very good in this. They appreciate me working from home, Infact I have inspired some of them and they are considering to become internet marketeer.
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    • Profile picture of the author Marshallsbiz
      I think as long as you are comfortable with what you are doing then I say keep doing it:

      You don't have to brag about what you're doing around the friends and family that aren't supporting you, but I wouldn't let that cause you to stop.

      My 2 cents worth at least.
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  • Profile picture of the author Randall Magwood
    Listen to the song "Successful" by Trey Songz and Drake. But listen to the one on Trey's album... this one is better, and will uplift you - despite the negativity from friends and family doubting your online business efforts.
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  • Profile picture of the author betterwtveter
    Don't worrie my friend my family went on a frenzy about 5 months ago when I shut down my construction company making $5k a month and I am only making $4k a month but I rather do this than be out in the field. Once I start making the real money in a year than I an rub it in their faces. So can you.
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