LP, Traffic, Affiliates, Hops = no sales (Clickbank)

Is this your own product?

This is from the point of view of a potential customer rather than a marketer (I buy alot of weight loss stuff).

First of all is Nick Ornomidis really a Hollywood trainer (or just a pen name)? The reason I ask is that people will actually look this guy up, and the only mention of him is with regard to this product. Potential buyers will want to know his credentials, and to be honest if he'd trained movie stars and the rich and famous there probably would be more info about him on the Internet.

Secondly, there's only one measly testimonial. Sure there are some before and after pictures but these could be taken from anywhere. Weight loss is one particular niche where people want to sell ALOT of social proof - therefore you need to have detailed testimonials and weight loss success stories. Get down to the nitty gritty - how many inches, pounds etc has each person lost.

You talk about a proven, breakthrough system and secrets etc. but you'll need to give your potential buyers at least some information about what this is about. People want to know what they'll have to do - how long will they have to spend exercising, what will they have to eat, what will the cost be (monetary, time etc)

Where are the benefits? I actually see no benefits at all except you mention a 'better body'. Without benefits then there's no reason for anyone to whip out their credit card.

Fernando - hows it converting via your own ppc? That's all that really matters at this point, cause you have no clue which affiliates are sending you those 50 hops, and how they're getting those 50 hops. It could be garbage traffic for all you know.

some of the things that came to my mind

a) don't like the dirty reddish/orange headlines. They look dull.
b) trainer to the stars, but no names or testimonials from any of them. There's no congruency there...
c) trainer to the stars, but pics of normal people (a way around this would be to lead in with something like "yes, it works for 'real' people, who can't afford personal nutritionists and trainers")
d) no testimonials from those before/after pics
e) no full name in the testimonial - when I see this I usually think it's fake.
f) no visuals to the sales copy that pull me into it. It just looks like it will be a chore to read.

Sales copy is tough to write.. I recently wrote an ebook, and the sales copy is proving to be much tougher to write. I've done some direct marketing in the past, so it's not entirely new to me, but it still takes a lot of work and mental cycles (at least for me).

Pen names are fine, a lot of folk use them.

However...claiming the guy is a holly wood trainer when he isn't ??

I'd pull the site and be more honest with version 2.

I hope your first customer isn't an attourney.

Ok, scanned the page (you have two seconds to grab me):

Blahblahblah right off the bat. Do I care? No. Grab my eyeballs, I'm a scanner not a reader.

Nothing about the page excites me to read - flat layout, flat graphics, flat copy.

Looks like every other lose weight fast affiliate LP out there.

What's in it for me? Nothing compelling so far. What do I get for my money? A little confusing... an ebook? Oh, a bunch of ebooks. And a membership. To what? Does the site have a weightloss community? Am I getting 1-on-1 coaching? Ongoing support for my weight loss struggle? I don't know, it's not really clear.

So, a bunch of books and a membership to something, I don't really know what. Wow, I've spent a lot more than 2 seconds already, and I haven't seen a single compelling reason to buy... see ya.

(brutal, but that's your average surfer right there)

Don't throw the towel in just yet.....

My opinion is that you need much longer sales copy and then work on testamonials as well as some cosmetic things on the sales page and it will pull much better for you.

Frank Bruno

@Randy: guess you just used your IM eyes, not a average surfer, but thats fine. I get your point.