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How Can I Improve My Product Page's Conversion?

by alvinchua91
37 replies
Hey fellow WF users, I've been an affiliate marketer for the past year, and this year I decided to make the change to being a Clickbank vendor instead. But sometimes, I do get hops from affiliates and from myself, usually those from myself get a lot better conversions. Those from affiliates usually not so.. I am not sure if it's my sales page problem, so I am here to kindly seek help!

My website is at [...]

Thanks people.
#conversion #improve #page #product
  • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
    Banned
    Hi Alvin, will you excuse some real honesty and openness, even if it sounds a little disparaging?

    A large number of features about your sales page will completely exclude any serious, pro-affiliates from promoting the product, I'm afraid.

    You may be able to attract some of the 95% of ClickBank affiliates who between them produce only 5% of the affiliate-referred sales, but the 5% of pro-affiliates who collectively produce 95% of the sales won't even look at this for more than a few seconds, I'm afraid. It really is a complete "non-starter". Sorry.

    These two threads may help you to appreciate some of the reasons for this ...

    http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...oduct-opt.html

    http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...ml#post2161932
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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

      Hi Alvin, will you excuse some real honesty and openness, even if it sounds a little disparaging?

      A large number of features about your sales page will completely exclude any serious, pro-affiliates from promoting the product, I'm afraid.

      You may be able to attract some of the 95% of ClickBank affiliates who between them produce only 5% of the affiliate-referred sales, but the 5% of pro-affiliates who collectively produce 95% of the sales won't even look at this for more than a few seconds, I'm afraid. It really is a complete "non-starter". Sorry.

      These two threads may help you to appreciate some of the reasons for this ...

      http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...oduct-opt.html

      http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...ml#post2161932

      Hi Alexa, actually regarding the popup, I originally wanted to do something like what John Chow is doing with respect to imjohnchow.com

      He has an inline aweber form where after filling in your email, you are linked to the Clickbank checkout page, but you are not sent any confirmation emails until you purchase it. (eg if you were to close at the checkout page, you are not added to his list).

      But I am not quite sure how to do that, single nor double opt in doesn't seem to work with that, I cant find a feature where I can disable confirmation email till a certain action is done.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
        Banned
        Originally Posted by alvinchua91 View Post

        He has an inline aweber form where after filling in your email, you are linked to the Clickbank checkout page, but you are not sent any confirmation emails until you purchase it. (eg if you were to close at the checkout page, you are not added to his list).

        But I am not quite sure how to do that
        One of the problems you have at the moment is that no serious affiliate is willing to send their traffic to a leaky sales page. It seems to me that what you describe above would still come across to affiliates as a leaky sales page, regardless of the point at which people are actually added to the list, so I don't understand how it would help you, Alvin. You need to decide whether you want to build a list of prospective customers, or to attract serious affiliates. You can't do both with the same sales page: they're directly conflicting objectives. (You can, perhaps, with two different sales pages, and many vendors do exactly that). Please don't imagine that I mean it at all unkindly when I mention that there are also many other things you'd need to change about your current sales page, to attract any pro-affiliates.
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        • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
          Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

          One of the problems you have at the moment is that no serious affiliate is willing to send their traffic to a leaky sales page. It seems to me that what you describe above would still come across to affiliates as a leaky sales page, regardless of the point at which people are actually added to the list, so I don't understand how it would help you, Alvin. You need to decide whether you want to build a list of prospective customers, or to attract serious affiliates. You can't do both with the same sales page: they're directly conflicting objectives. (You can, perhaps, with two different sales pages, and many vendors do exactly that). Please don't imagine that I mean it at all unkindly when I mention that there are also many other things you'd need to change about your current sales page, to attract any pro-affiliates.
          No no, I certainly don't . I like constructive criticism

          Can you give some clues as to what type of changes I should make?
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          • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
            Banned
            Originally Posted by alvinchua91 View Post

            Can you give some clues as to what type of changes I should make?
            Some of these are huge factors and some are comparatively minor ...

            1. Autoplay video (huge "no-no" for affiliates: http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topi...o-content.html ).

            2. Today's date shows right under the video. It's only an automated thing that comes across as a little deceptive. Visitors know perfectly well that you didn't put the website up today (that wouldn't be a good thing, anyway!) and that if they go back on Monday it will show Monday's date, and so on. It fools nobody. It does more harm than good. If you want it to look very "up to date", using just "April 2013" (or even the previous month, "March 2013"), would perhaps be less damaging.

            3. Some of the English usage leaves rather a lot to be desired (I'm putting it politely!). For example, you have a paragraph beginning with the words "Be it whether you are a full-time student ..." (what's the "be it" doing there?). And some of the grammar needs attention (you have things like "they ... does not", instead of "do not").

            4. Some of the sub-headings have capitalisation for the start of each word and others don't: there's no "graphic consistency" (I'd take it away, myself: it's a poor trick used by people who imagine that it makes the words look more prominent or emphatic or something - in fact, it just slows the eye down and makes them harder to read). You've done well to use blue, rather than red, for those, though.

            5. Your offer to buy testimonials/photos from people, on the sales page, is seriously out of place.

            6. You seem at the moment to be using fake testimonials bought from Fiverr on the sales page (no responsible affiliate who knows that will dream of promoting the product! Seriously, look at this from the perspective of a successful affiliate: we can make a very good living with or without your product, but the one thing we can't afford is for our subscribers/customers to find out that we've been promoting to them something that turned out to have fraudulent testimonials on the sales page - credibility and reputations take a long time to develop but can be lost in an instant. You can understand this, surely? :confused: ).

            7. I think you need to explain clearly, the first time you mention the $29.95 per month price, that people can cancel at any stage, and that their initial $29.95 payment is refundable.

            8. You need to remove the exit pop-up (it's not working at the moment, anyway: the next page, after clicking "stay on page" doesn't load at all - nor is it even possible, from there, to return to the sales page by clicking the back button on the browser, so it's just losing people anyway).

            9. Personal opinion only, here, but I don't think the copy's particularly inspiring, myself. I've seen a lot worse, I admit, but I'm not exactly convinced it would convert my traffic.

            Apologies for sounding disparaging, but two or three of these issues I think are pretty crucial: the fake testimonials, the autoplay video, the exit pop-up and explaining the price?

            If you have very strong nerves, you could maybe post it as a "please appraise my sales page" request in the Copywriting Forum here, but be aware that the copywriters here do comment pretty openly about such things, and criticize them (albeit not usually from the affiliate perspective) and you'd perhaps be well advised to put your thickest skin on to read some of the potential responses (and take away the "bought-in testimonials" before you let them see!).
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            • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
              Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

              Some of these are huge factors and some are comparatively minor ...

              1. Autoplay video (huge "no-no" for affiliates: http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topi...o-content.html ).

              2. Today's date shows right under the video. It's only an automated thing that comes across as a little deceptive. Visitors know perfectly well that you didn't put the website up today (that wouldn't be a good thing, anyway!) and that if they go back on Monday it will show Monday's date, and so on. It fools nobody. It does more harm than good. If you want it to look very "up to date", using just "April 2013" (or even the previous month, "March 2013"), would perhaps be less damaging.

              3. Some of the English usage leaves rather a lot to be desired (I'm putting it politely!). For example, you have a paragraph beginning with the words "Be it whether you are a full-time student ..." (what's the "be it" doing there?). And some of the grammar needs attention (you have things like "they ... does not", instead of "do not").

              4. Some of the sub-headings have capitalisation for the start of each word and others don't: there's no "graphic consistency" (I'd take it away, myself: it's a poor trick used by people who imagine that it makes the words look more prominent or emphatic or something - in fact, it just slows the eye down and makes them harder to read). You've done well to use blue, rather than red, for those, though.

              5. Your offer to buy testimonials/photos from people, on the sales page, is seriously out of place.

              6. You seem at the moment to be using fake testimonials bought from Fiverr on the sales page (no responsible affiliate who knows that will dream of promoting the product! Seriously, look at this from the perspective of a successful affiliate: we can make a very good living with or without your product, but the one thing we can't afford is for our subscribers/customers to find out that we've been promoting to them something that turned out to have fraudulent testimonials on the sales page - credibility and reputations take a long time to develop but can be lost in an instant. You can understand this, surely? :confused: ).

              7. I think you need to explain clearly, the first time you mention the $29.95 per month price, that people can cancel at any stage, and that their initial $29.95 payment is refundable.

              8. You need to remove the exit pop-up (it's not working at the moment, anyway: the next page, after clicking "stay on page" doesn't load at all - nor is it even possible, from there, to return to the sales page by clicking the back button on the browser, so it's just losing people anyway).

              9. Personal opinion only, here, but I don't think the copy's particularly inspiring, myself. I've seen a lot worse, I admit, but I'm not exactly convinced it would convert my traffic.

              Apologies for sounding disparaging, but two or three of these issues I think are pretty crucial: the fake testimonials, the autoplay video, the exit pop-up and explaining the price?

              If you have very strong nerves, you could maybe post it as a "please appraise my sales page" request in the Copywriting Forum here, but be aware that the copywriters here do comment pretty openly about such things, and criticize them (albeit not usually from the affiliate perspective) and you'd perhaps be well advised to put your thickest skin on to read some of the potential responses (and take away the "bought-in testimonials" before you let them see!).
              Hi Alexa!

              You have been very helpful indeed

              Here are some of the immediate and important changes I have made.
              1) I stopped the auto-play video.

              2) I got rid of the date. You made me realize that for such a niche, it isn't necessary to have the most 'updated' method (unlike IM) as long as it yields effective fat loss results and provides what customers want.

              3) I probably missed out here and there :/ I have changed those you mentioned and am reading through the rest of the copy again!

              4) Thanks for the compliment on the blue font! (I researched online for most effective colors). I have also gotten rid of the inconsistency in capitalizing the words, and I have removed all unnecessary capitalization of each word.

              5 & 6) Understood and removed the testimonials you were referring to.

              7) I explained the refund thing clearly already and I also removed the part mentioning Clickbank (after reading what TaraCarson said).

              8) The exit popup/redirect does work on my side... So I am not quite sure what's happening on your side. Hm.. Like in my reply to WillR, many top vendor products in my niche or not also make use of such an exit popup/redirect, so .. I think leaving it on will be a good idea?

              9) Yup! I am going to the Copywriting Forum now

              Thanks Alexa! So.. I think I have generally removed big concerns I hope? :p
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            • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
              Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post


              8. You need to remove the exit pop-up (it's not working at the moment, anyway: the next page, after clicking "stay on page" doesn't load at all - nor is it even possible, from there, to return to the sales page by clicking the back button on the browser, so it's just losing people anyway).
              Hi Alexa,

              I have been to the copywriting forum, and with some help, edited my copy to have more of a WIIFM writing style.

              I also edited the exit pop-up which sends them to another page to capture their email instead. (instead of the same page).

              Regards,
              Alvin
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    Two very quick things that would throw me off as an affiliate.

    1. Popup that appears as soon as people hit the page.

    2. The exit popup that appears when people try to leave the page.

    But Alexa is right. They are just two of many things that would deter me from promoting as an affiliate.

    Have you actually got solid stats on how well this page converts for yourself? If not then you can't expect affiliates to promote it.
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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by WillR View Post

      Two very quick things that would throw me off as an affiliate.

      1. Popup that appears as soon as people hit the page.

      2. The exit popup that appears when people try to leave the page.

      But Alexa is right. They are just two of many things that would deter me from promoting as an affiliate.

      Have you actually got solid stats on how well this page converts for yourself? If not then you can't expect affiliates to promote it.
      Thanks Will, for your suggestions.

      Hm, I have definitely taken a look at other successful vendor's sales page, they do have an exit popup as well, so I don't see why that's a problem. Even big products like TaoofBadass employs it as well..

      I will definitely look into the exitpopup.. Reading the thread Alexa shared
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  • Profile picture of the author gekko2.0
    I agree with both Alexa and Will there are quite a few issues with the sales page. You may have an amazing product but your sales page doesn't convey that.

    I'd take a look at the sales pages of the hottest products in the fitness niche and compare their page to yours. What are they doing different? How can you incorporate some of what they are doing into your own page?

    Don't steal their ideas or their sales copy just figure out what they are doing right and do it better.
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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by gekko2.0 View Post

      I agree with both Alexa and Will there are quite a few issues with the sales page. You may have an amazing product but your sales page doesn't convey that.

      I'd take a look at the sales pages of the hottest products in the fitness niche and compare their page to yours. What are they doing different? How can you incorporate some of what they are doing into your own page?

      Don't steal their ideas or their sales copy just figure out what they are doing right and do it better.
      I will say the main difference is having a long sales video.. and I've gotten rid of the opt in form already But I decide to leave the exit popup as it is due to reasons mentioned above..
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  • Profile picture of the author Stuart Walker
    Pop up is a big no no. Why would an affiliate want to let you capture their traffic and possibly steal the sale from them?

    Loving your fake video testimonials.

    I use that girl from Fiverr too when I need some cheap video work done. She's really good at being natural.
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  • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
    wow thanks for all the current suggestions! I didn't use to have the opt in, I just added into it a few days ago. Alright, I will look into all of your suggestions. Much appreciated!
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  • Profile picture of the author TaraCarson
    I've done some SEO and conversion optimization for weight loss products, and the one thing that stood out the most is that weight loss is a visual sale.

    Your site doesn't do a good job of saying what you are selling: you are saying burn fat, but you are SHOWING people who aren't overweight toning up.

    The message needs to match the visuals. If this is a product that men wearing 42" pants would use to get to 36" or 34" will buy, you need visuals that represent that market. If it's a product for toning up, which is what the visuals are telling me, then you need to talk less about "losing fat" and more about toning.

    Before and after's are what sell it. Your site doesn't show any people with a weight problem, your visuals go from normal build to well toned, but your message tries to speak to both audiences so you end up losing both of them.

    People respond to marketing campaigns that feature "a person like me"

    If you are overweight, pictures of guys with six pack abs aren't appealing. You just want to see someone who went from a 42 to a 36 or 34. That's "realistic" in the mind of someone with a large waist. Going from where they are now, to the lean six pack pics you're posting doesn't seem real.

    If you AREN'T overweight and you just need to tone up, then your visuals are more appealing - but those people aren't looking for "weight loss" or "burning fat" they are looking for info how to tone up.

    I would suggest splitting the pitch for your program into the two types of audiences you're trying to reach, with separate pages - written descriptions and visuals - targeting each.

    Second, get rid of "clickbank". Nobody outside of us in the Internet Marketing space knows what Clickbank is, and it makes it sound spammy, like it's not a real product. Your money back guarantee should come from you personally, as a person with a track record as a fitness coach, not the "system" that handles payments. If Jillian Michaels had a squeeze page for her training program, she wouldn't say your refund is guaranteed by Mastercard, she would say that SHE guaranteed results. Hope this helps.
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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by TaraCarson View Post

      I've done some SEO and conversion optimization for weight loss products, and the one thing that stood out the most is that weight loss is a visual sale.

      Your site doesn't do a good job of saying what you are selling: you are saying burn fat, but you are SHOWING people who aren't overweight toning up.

      The message needs to match the visuals. If this is a product that men wearing 42" pants would use to get to 36" or 34" will buy, you need visuals that represent that market. If it's a product for toning up, which is what the visuals are telling me, then you need to talk less about "losing fat" and more about toning.

      Before and after's are what sell it. Your site doesn't show any people with a weight problem, your visuals go from normal build to well toned, but your message tries to speak to both audiences so you end up losing both of them.

      People respond to marketing campaigns that feature "a person like me"

      If you are overweight, pictures of guys with six pack abs aren't appealing. You just want to see someone who went from a 42 to a 36 or 34. That's "realistic" in the mind of someone with a large waist. Going from where they are now, to the lean six pack pics you're posting doesn't seem real.

      If you AREN'T overweight and you just need to tone up, then your visuals are more appealing - but those people aren't looking for "weight loss" or "burning fat" they are looking for info how to tone up.

      I would suggest splitting the pitch for your program into the two types of audiences you're trying to reach, with separate pages - written descriptions and visuals - targeting each.

      Second, get rid of "clickbank". Nobody outside of us in the Internet Marketing space knows what Clickbank is, and it makes it sound spammy, like it's not a real product. Your money back guarantee should come from you personally, as a person with a track record as a fitness coach, not the "system" that handles payments. If Jillian Michaels had a squeeze page for her training program, she wouldn't say your refund is guaranteed by Mastercard, she would say that SHE guaranteed results. Hope this helps.
      Hi Tara,

      I have gotten rid of the reference to Clickbank and instead used the guarantee from me instead. Thanks for that

      Hm.. I am still thinking of ideas, because I didn't have body pictures of myself when I was kinda chubby.

      Anyway, from what I see, most of the vendor's page include pictures of themselves becoming from fat to getting abs? So I thought it's fine..

      Correct me if I am wrong
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  • Profile picture of the author BloggerDeen
    I would recommend that you do split testing with landing page. Choose a couple of variations of landing pages and check which one works well.
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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by BloggerDeen View Post

      I would recommend that you do split testing with landing page. Choose a couple of variations of landing pages and check which one works well.
      I was thinking of doing that, but Clickbank requires me to link to a certain sales page; so how can I achieve that?
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      • Profile picture of the author Newbieee
        Make *$134 PER SALE* with highly converting...
        Hi there Alvin, may i ask how is your conversion rate now?
        Have you tested it?

        Anyhow, it would be interesting to show the before and after, after following all the experienced warriors' advices here.
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  • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
    What do you guys think? I will gladly appreciate any form of opinion
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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      I think the main sales page is hugely improved from what we saw originally; and I'm surprised and impressed by how much you've changed and improved it!

      I'm afraid it still won't be possible for you to attract any serious, pro-affiliates, though, because it's still a "leaky sales page": the nasty exit pop-up leads to a page from which you're collecting the customers' email addresses: for all the reasons explained in threads like this one, virtually no serious, successful affiliate (i.e. the ones you want and need) is willing to send traffic to such a page. The point, here, is that very few people ever buy a $29.95-per-month product like this at their first visit to the sales page, so from my perspective as a theoretical affiliate, I expect more or less all my traffic to see the pop-up - and that means it's "just another product with a leaky sales page" which I therefore leave immediately and look at another vendor's product. To a serious affiliate, this is one of the first things checked-for, on a sales page, and is a cause of an immediate "no".

      Absence of testimonials is also a problem, for a $29.95 per month product. I feel slightly guilty and embarrassed mentioning this, having told you to take away the fake testimonials, which of course you have done. But I do think it's a valid observation. I know this is a problem, when it's a new product, but I think you'd do much better with even a couple of honest testimonials? :confused:

      (This is a partial "review" only: I haven't played the video. Be aware, though, that many potential customers - for a wide variety of different reasons - may also not play the video. I'm not suggesting that means you shouldn't have one at all!).

      In short, greatly improved, but clearly you do need to take away the pop-up and opt-in, to have any chance of finding successful affiliates. This is pretty much a "black and white" issue that really is as simple as it sounds.
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      • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

        I think the main sales page is hugely improved from what we saw originally; and I'm surprised and impressed by how much you've changed and improved it!

        I'm afraid it still won't be possible for you to attract any serious, pro-affiliates, though, because it's still a "leaky sales page": the nasty exit pop-up leads to a page from which you're collecting the customers' email addresses: for all the reasons explained in threads like this one, virtually no serious, successful affiliate (i.e. the ones you want and need) is willing to send traffic to such a page. The point, here, is that very few people ever buy a $29.95-per-month product like this at their first visit to the sales page, so from my perspective as a theoretical affiliate, I expect more or less all my traffic to see the pop-up - and that means it's "just another product with a leaky sales page" which I therefore leave immediately and look at another vendor's product. To a serious affiliate, this is one of the first things checked-for, on a sales page, and is a cause of an immediate "no".

        Absence of testimonials is also a problem, for a $29.95 per month product. I feel slightly guilty and embarrassed mentioning this, having told you to take away the fake testimonials, which of course you have done. But I do think it's a valid observation. I know this is a problem, when it's a new product, but I think you'd do much better with even a couple of honest testimonials? :confused:

        (This is a partial "review" only: I haven't played the video. Be aware, though, that many potential customers - for a wide variety of different reasons - may also not play the video. I'm not suggesting that means you shouldn't have one at all!).

        In short, greatly improved, but clearly you do need to take away the pop-up and opt-in, to have any chance of finding successful affiliates. This is pretty much a "black and white" issue that really is as simple as it sounds.
        Firstly, thanks!

        I am currently adding in a trial period at a lower price, and putting that as the NEW exit pop-up! Just waiting for Clickbank to approve; after which I will be making the new exit pop up page live. Everything should be ready within 24-48 hours!

        Right now, it seems like most people are shy about sending me their testimonials with pictures (especially friends), so I am still working on getting testimonials up. I am thinking of ways of getting more testimonials as well.. Will sending affiliate marketers on WF a free copy and asking them for a review be a good idea?

        Yup, I understand that not everybody wants to watch the video, so the sales script is actually already meant to be self-sufficient.

        Alvin
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        • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
          Banned
          Originally Posted by alvinchua91 View Post

          I am currently adding in a trial period at a lower price, and putting that as the NEW exit pop-up!
          Again, I strongly advise you not to.

          For "discount exit pop-ups", the one thing that an exit-offer does is that it ensures that almost nobody will ever return and pay the full price. Since comparatively few people buy anything much at their first visit to a sales page anyway, the overwhelming majority are going to see it, and it can cost you a lot of money just for that reason. And that it isn't even the main way it can cost you money. Some customers may also instinctively dislike it a lot because they feel that the discount price is the "real price for which you're willing to sell it" and that you were "trying to fool them with the first price shown" and weren't completely honest about it. That makes people not trust you. And again, it's going to mean that you can't attract serious affiliates. I wouldn't send my traffic to it, and neither will other serious affiliates.

          Originally Posted by alvinchua91 View Post

          Will sending affiliate marketers on WF a free copy and asking them for a review be a good idea?
          I'm not a lawyer, but I think that if the testimonials are "incentivized" in any way, that has to be stated in them?

          The way to offer free products in exchange for testimonials, here, is to post in this part of the forum with the words "[Reviewers wanted]" at the start of the title line: Wanted - Members Looking To Hire You . I don't know whether that applies to ClickBank products, though.
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          • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
            Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

            Again, I strongly advise you not to.

            For "discount exit pop-ups", the one thing that an exit-offer does is that it ensures that almost nobody will ever return and pay the full price. Since comparatively few people buy anything much at their first visit to a sales page anyway, the overwhelming majority are going to see it, and it can cost you a lot of money just for that reason. And that it isn't even the main way it can cost you money. Some customers may also instinctively dislike it a lot because they feel that the discount price is the "real price for which you're willing to sell it" and that you were "trying to fool them with the first price shown" and weren't completely honest about it. That makes people not trust you. And again, it's going to mean that you can't attract serious affiliates. I wouldn't send my traffic to it, and neither will other serious affiliates.



            I'm not a lawyer, but I think that if the testimonials are "incentivized" in any way, that has to be stated in them?

            The way to offer free products in exchange for testimonials, here, is to post in this part of the forum with the words "[Reviewers wanted]" at the start of the title line: Wanted - Members Looking To Hire You . I don't know whether that applies to ClickBank products, though.
            Oh, I actually mean a trial, lower price for a week or two (for eg. $5 instead of $20), and once it's up, they will have to pay up the remaining for the month ($15/20). The remaining months will then be charged as $20.

            Or is it recommended to totally get rid of all exit pop ups? The main reason I put in exit pop ups is because I've noticed nearly every vendor in my niche having them too..

            Alright! I am off to asking for reviews now!
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Chicas
    Like others have mentioned, please get rid of your exit pop ups. Geez louise, you have one too many. This wold clearly turn me off as an affiliate or buyer. Just my opinion.
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  • Profile picture of the author joaquin112
    I don't trust you.

    My first though was - who is this guy and what is he selling? Then I heard your broken English, I saw all the stock photo and I noticed that you're embedding YouTube to save hosting cost and I would never - in a million years - buy from you, MUCH less promote your product as an affiliate.

    I hate being rude, but you should either hire a professional, take copywriting lessons, or go back to being an affiliate.
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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by joaquin112 View Post

      I don't trust you.

      My first though was - who is this guy and what is he selling? Then I heard your broken English, I saw all the stock photo and I noticed that you're embedding YouTube to save hosting cost and I would never - in a million years - buy from you, MUCH less promote your product as an affiliate.

      I hate being rude, but you should either hire a professional, take copywriting lessons, or go back to being an affiliate.
      Thanks Joaquin, I am hiring a freelance video producer on oDesk now!
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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by joaquin112 View Post

      I don't trust you.

      My first though was - who is this guy and what is he selling? Then I heard your broken English, I saw all the stock photo and I noticed that you're embedding YouTube to save hosting cost and I would never - in a million years - buy from you, MUCH less promote your product as an affiliate.

      I hate being rude, but you should either hire a professional, take copywriting lessons, or go back to being an affiliate.
      I have taken copywriting lessons, and changed the sales page entirely..

      What do you think?
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      • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
        Originally Posted by alvinchua91 View Post

        I have taken copywriting lessons, and changed the sales page entirely..

        What do you think?
        Alvin,

        You will get very few affiliates to promote your product. There are so many things wrong with the copy. Experienced marketers will (maybe) do a quick scan and then leave. Most will probably read the main headline and leave.

        The main headline is lifeless and uninspiring. Your claims are not to be believed. You instill mistrust pretty quickly. You've helped 1200 people in 30 countries? BS. If that were true, then you should have hundreds of testimonials. Real ones w/ pics, etc.

        There are lots of reasons why I've said the above.

        The copy rambles on forever and basically says nothing concrete. All this may sound hard but it's the truth you need to hear. Pull it from CB until you can afford to hire a decent copywriter. But I'm not sure what is possible because I tend to think your product is not for real or really has anything to offer that's new or possibly even effective.

        Having said all that, it's still possible to resurrect this. Fixing the copy is doable. It's the product that I'm not sure about mainly because I have not seen it. I also think you should can the membership and put it all in one delivery like a PDF.

        Nothing personal.


        Ken

        PS - Here are a few resources to help with copywriting:

        1. This can be applied to writing copy:

        http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...-60-stage.html

        2. www.copyblogger.com

        3. Lots of very cool resources:

        http://jrotman.wordpress.com/copywri...e-list/#Swipes

        4. The Warrior Forum Allinone (all in one) copywriting swipes and resources.

        http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...wipe-file.html

        You can study the above over time, implement what you learn and keep writing. In time, you can learn to write excellent copy. Find your voice and don't give up.
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  • Profile picture of the author dbrwn
    One way to increase conversions is of course to drive highly targeted traffic to the page, and you can do that quite easily in my new report that is mentioned below in the signature.

    Driving highly targeted traffic is not guaranteed to create conversions, but it does help because those are the people tht are ready and willing to buy from you because of what you hve to offer them.
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    Discover the real truth about online business inside a brand new report called The Truth Is Out. It will be a real eye-opener for you the entrepreneur. To get a copy, visit the URL here below.

    http://www.teachmeinfomarketing.com/truthisout

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    • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
      Originally Posted by dbrwn View Post

      One way to increase conversions is of course to drive highly targeted traffic to the page, and you can do that quite easily in my new report that is mentioned below in the signature.

      Driving highly targeted traffic is not guaranteed to create conversions, but it does help because those are the people tht are ready and willing to buy from you because of what you hve to offer them.
      Hi thanks!

      You're probably talking about warm traffic.

      Im trying to increase cold traffic conversion :p

      Regards,
      Alvin
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  • Profile picture of the author alvinchua91
    Added in some little 'sales' psychology things I noticed on other successful websites and placed it here.. Does it look more improved?
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  • Profile picture of the author tjaysen70
    yeah man, if you do a pre sell to the clickbank affiliate's site, your conversions will be much higher. That has been my experience, I think because your site should have the looks and feel of a person that's reviewing a product.

    Then after they read your review, they then click over to cb product to find out more and buy.

    So your job is to create interest and give them wanting more..so they just have to click on your link so they can find out more.
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  • Profile picture of the author Curtis2011
    Your sales page should be thinner in width. There is a certain width that the eye can skim left to right comfortably without getting strained. Your page is wider than that. If you want an example of a good page width, see here.
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  • Profile picture of the author clever7
    I like the idea to ‘eat whatever I want and lose weight’, this is very good. Excellent!

    I’m really curious and I want to learn your secret, but I believe that your sales letter is too long and at a certain point it becomes tiring.

    I don't know about others, but I feel that too long sales letters are quite irritating.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gambino
    I didn't go through the entire thing but:

    1. I would click the back button as soon as I saw "travelling" instead of "traveling" in the headline.
    2. I don't think anyone is going to believe that "before" and "after" photo.
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  • Profile picture of the author edhuu
    your sales page is not making me interested to read.. maybe you should play with the design..
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    #1 Reason Why Affiliate Marketers Are Broke
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  • Profile picture of the author Jtraits
    i tend to agree with a previous post "you might have a great product but your sales page does not show that" ... personally, i entered the website and immediately came to my mind "okay, now i`m gonna get hit by a bunch of lies" .... follow the guide lines that others told you -i have nothing else to say, they said everything ;p-
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