8 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
8 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Newbie Needs Constructive Criticism

by Achilles1963
6 replies
I just wrote my first article and was wondering if I could get you folks opinion of it, and any constructive criticism you may have? P.S. - I've been a big fan of you guys and gals for a long time, my landscaping business is faltering and it's time for "The Bum Marketing Method" because i'me completely broke, lol !! Oops, I guess the webpage would help buylotteryticketsonline.homestead.com
#constructive #criticism #newbie
  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    actually quality articles just come with time - the secret to
    getting results is to write every day and promote what you write
    like hell. Submit the article to a bunch or directories, post it
    on your blog, turn it into a podcast, bookmark it with Onlywire,
    etc... all the same content.

    One crappy article won't make you money. 1 crappy article posted
    in 1000 places very well may.

    This isn't the article area actually, this sub-forum is about writing
    sales copy. I feel for you though - if you are looking to Bum marketing
    as a way to replace your income quickly I think you'll be disappointed -
    try to figure out how you can get leverage out of your existing and
    past client base.

    Seriously. if you can find it get Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: Money Making Marketing: Finding the People Who Need What You're Selling and Making Sure They Buy It
    - it kicks-ass over the better-known "Guerilla Marketing" which is
    much less specific. MMM can save your business.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[736803].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Achilles1963
      Sorry my bad (about posting in the wrong place), but what do you think of the article, is it okay? Also I haven't figured out how to install my affiliate links. P.S. - I know i won't make a lot overnight, I didn't make money overnight at landscaping either.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[736827].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author artwebster
    The article would be OK if it read more fluently and was laid out a little more carefully.

    You need to check your spelling, punctuation and sentence structure.

    You also need to answer the question that immediately sprang to my mind - why would these companies do all that work?

    (As a matter of interest, one very large lotto company in Europe makes an absolute fortune by buying a 45 man lottery syndicate 85 tickets and charging each member for five of them. If you do the arithmetic, the lottery agent is keeping the cost of 140 tickets each week for each syndicate.)
    Signature

    You might not like what I say - but I believe it.
    Build it, make money, then build some more
    Some old school smarts would help - and here's to Rob Toth for his help. Bloody good stuff, even the freebies!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[738378].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author bminor
    For your first article it is a really good one.

    My critique points would be:
    - the section about legality is confusing for me as at the end I don't know if buying lottery tickets online is legal or not and if doing so could get me into trouble.

    - your layout in the Tips section is inconsistent. You separate the individual tips by a "-" bullet and then in a subsection to the "play European lottery" tip the 3 reasons for it are in bold which somehow makes them look as senior topics.

    - this last tip and the reasons for it are illogical. Why would it be a good idea to play a European lotterywhen the laws could prevent me from collecting my winnings??

    - and the biggest outpoint: You say that everyone claimimg to have a system to win the lottery is a scammer (and this might be true). But then your last affiliate link seems to direct to a site which advertises exactly that.

    One last thing not directly related to your article: I recommend to change the title tag of your page from "Home" to something more meaningfull.

    Klaus
    Signature

    Complete Understanding and Successful Application Of A Subject Depends On Knowing The Terminology
    www.internetmarketing-dictionary.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[738462].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author LindseyInteractive
      Your article appears to be okay to me.

      Now, what I would suggest doing, since you are using this as what appears to be a landing page, I would try to cut down on it some and create a brief quick article out of it and submit it to article directories.

      This will help get you alot of backlinks and traffic.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[738475].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Achilles1963
        Thanks you guys, you're the best, I will take all your suggestions to heart and edit my page accordingly, I'm just so proud to be part of your community, i've respected you all from a distance for a long time. P.S.- I'll never quit until I win, no matter how long it takes!!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[739638].message }}

Trending Topics