How is this sales page?

14 replies
Hi guys,

Can you please take the time and leave a feedback for THIS SALES PAGE?

I want to make it convert better, any ideas? I'm gonna add more images of myself for proof....but anything else?

Thanks!
Drew
#page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author jpsween88
    I think it looks pretty professional and attractive. The only criticism I have is below the video you have a huge portion of simply just text and I wouldn't want to have sit there and read it
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  • Profile picture of the author joaquin112
    Remove the video's bar. Users shouldn't be able to skip ahead or see how long the video is (you should tell them it's short at the beginning).

    Too much text after first header. Break it up into more paragraphs and add images. Possibly add video testimonials.

    Add an exit popup, or maybe even two.

    I didn't really read your copy, just went over what I think you should fix.

    You should also split test to see whether you really need to have video/text or just text or just video.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dburn
      It looks very good but like people said above you need to split up the text below the video. It's just too much and a lot of people won't read it just because of that.

      You can add some sub-headlines between the paragraphs to make it look better. For example something like:

      "Is this a bunch of hype?"
      Or
      "This Sounds Too Good To Be True ..."

      Hope this helps,

      David Burnett
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  • Profile picture of the author Romeo90
    I agree with above, there is too much text - simply break it up with some sub headings which make the reader want to read the smaller text underneath - but overall, good job.
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    • Profile picture of the author npakergy16
      Are you guys sure it looks THAT good? To be honest, I thought I looked kindove crappy lol. I can take lots of critisim guys - throw it at me and let me know what I need to change to maximize conversions!

      Thanks a lot,

      Drew
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      • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
        Wayyyyyyy tooo much text for a $47 product.

        Didn't watch the videos.

        Liked the pictures - before and afters are nice.
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  • Profile picture of the author Randall Magwood
    I like it. Just remove the social marketing bar from the left of the page. You want people to buy from you, not to go and "like" you on Facebook. Otherwise it's pretty good. You should try testing a different headline too.
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    I think you will lose a LOT of people right away because of your headline. I think it's very weak and doesn't really scream a benefit to the person reading it. If people don't connect with your headline then the rest of the page doesn't matter because they will not read it.

    First of all the headline just doesn't sound right. It's not good use of grammar:

    "How to Gain Muscle & Lose Fat With A System So Simple It's Shocking It Even Works..."

    If I read that headline I wouldn't want to read any further because it sounds like broken English and gives me the impression the rest of the page would be a tough read.

    As mentioned above the actual content of the headline is also weak. You need a specific benefit in that headline and you could also use a point of pain as well.

    So something like...

    "How to Get Rock Hard Abs in Just 2 Weeks... Without Ever Having to Do a SitUp..."

    Now keep in mind I am not in the fitness niche so that is just a very rough example. But you can see how the first half of the headline has a very specific benefit... 'Rock Hard Abs in 2 Weeks'. Compare that to 'How to Gain Muscle and Lose Fat' and I am sure you can see how much weaker your headline is.

    Now look at the second part of my headline example. What is the one thing people hate having to do when trying to get ripped abs... it's sit-ups. No one enjoys doing situps. So not only have I promised them rock hard abs but I have also said they will not need to do the one thing they hate having to do and that they expect they would have to do to get rock hard abs. So naturally I will have spiked their interest.

    Anyway, it's just a very rough example and obviously your headline has to be true to the actual product you are selling and what it teaches but all I am saying is that your headline could be much much stronger and the headline is THE most important part of your salespage. No one reads an article in the newspaper unless the headline pulls them into it.

    Maybe go and find a good copywriter and have them go through your product in detail and then get them to craft you a set of 4-5 different headlines that you can then split test on your salespage.

    I hope that helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author TheMadHatter
    I feel like you should add a little urgency to buy with maybe a slashed price on there, for a limited time only. Possibly to the extent that you need to get in shape now that summer is here.
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by TheMadHatter View Post

      I feel like you should add a little urgency to buy with maybe a slashed price on there, for a limited time only. Possibly to the extent that you need to get in shape now that summer is here.
      He is selling it on Clickbank and that sort of stuff is not allowed on Clickbank anymore because it is just outright misleading. You are not allowed to show a slashed out price unless you have proof of you selling copies of the product at the higher price. Also saying it is only for a limited time is not allowed when the offer is clearly not for a limited time.

      Urgency and scarcity are great motivators but you need to use them in a way that you are actually still being ethical in doing so. Fake scarcity is no good.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gambino
    Here's my take:

    1. Take out the "a skinny guy" across the top. It automatically excluded about 2/3s of your potential client base (unless it absolutely doesn't work with medium, regular, or large sized people).

    2. I would change "It's shocking it even works". The end of that headline puts a negative spin on it and into the potential customers mind. I would try to write something more positive.

    3. Then the skinny guy comment is right above the lose fat comment. Why would a skinny guy want to lose fat?

    4. I'd add a July 12 or 13 photo to the July 08 and 10. Then update how much you've gained between 2010 and now. Make it current. Or people will think you quit lifting in 2010 and it's a crap product.

    5. I'd probably add an option to buy now earlier! Probably above the testimonials.

    6. Add a price by the add to cart button.

    Very good overall.
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by PayLaterPlace View Post

      Here's my take:

      1. Take out the "a skinny guy" across the top. It automatically excluded about 2/3s of your potential client base (unless it absolutely doesn't work with medium, regular, or large sized people).
      I noticed that as well. I mean I wouldn't consider myself skinny but I would still like to learn how to build muscle. But with your intro there I might feel left out.

      On the other hand I might see that and think to myself, man, if this can get a skinny guy to build muscle then it should be even easier for me. So this is something I would recommend you test. You won't know for sure unless you split test two versions of the page against one another, one with and one without the intro.
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    Just having another look, you might also want to change the video image that shows before people play the video. At the moment it is just powerpoint text and so people will think they are about to sit through some boring text presentation.

    Maybe use an attention grabbing image instead, like one of the before and after type images.
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