An Ape Gives Us An Internet Marketing Lesson

by Horny Devil Banned
18 replies
On a rare sunny day recently, I took the family to the zoo. The kids threw some monkey nuts to the apes and I watched as a big chimp ambled over and picked one up. He then cracked it open and took a nut out, pushed it up his bottom, then pulled it out again and ate it. "Look away, look away now", I said to my kids. I threw another in the cage and the same thing happened again.

Just then a zoo keeper came by. "Oy mate", I shouted. "What's the problem" he replied. "Problem. It's that bugger there" I said, pointing at the chimp.

"Oh that's Charlie, a very intelligent ape he is", said the zoo keeper.

"Intelligent," I said. "I've just chucked him a nut and he's stuck it up his bottom, took it out, and ate it".

"Like I say, he's an intelligent ape" said the zoo keeper. "Last week someone chucked him a peach and he couldn't shift the stone, so he tests them all now".


The Moral Of The Story

Test everything first.

In all forms of Internet Marketing don't rush in like a bull in a china shop. Test (or split test) everything. Your website, blogs, videos, articles, programs, email, SEO, landing pages, copy, headers, etc, etc. EVERYTHING! After you've tested and implemented something, always track the progress and results.

Charlie's bum means you're now the wiser.
#ape #internet #lesson #marketing
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Blades
    Can't argue with the moral of the story, test, test, test, than test some more.
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    " I knew that if I failed, I wouldn't regret that.
    But I knew the one thing I might regret is not ever having tried. "

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    • Profile picture of the author David Burnett
      Haha I like it thanks for the story!
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      • Profile picture of the author hsbinmarket
        Originally Posted by wealthyseven View Post

        Haha I like it thanks for the story!
        As newbies, may I know why didn't u use thanks button to thank for the post?
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  • Profile picture of the author Marc Rodill
    Well, that's some imagery right there.
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    The ape represents your typical customer.

    If you mess them around once, they are going to find it much harder to trust you (or anyone else for that matter) in the future.

    And they will likely put your products up their bottom before they buy. In our industry we call this a refund period. This is when your customer gets to put your product up their bottom and see if it fits.

    Oh, and the zoo keeper is Paul Myers... trying to keep all the animals in check.
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    • Profile picture of the author hsbinmarket
      Originally Posted by WillR View Post

      The ape represents your typical customer.

      If you mess them around once they are going to find it much harder to trust you (or anyone else for that matter) in the future.

      And they will likely put your products up their bottom before they buy. In our industry we call this a refund period. This is when your customer gets to put your product up their bottom and see if it fits.

      Oh, and the zoo keeper is Paul Myers... trying to keep all the animals in check.
      You wrote something important I feel but I cant thank u as I also feel that u fail to use good words to write the post. Hope u will concious in future to use suitable and positive words which hears good.

      May u be succeed.
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      • Profile picture of the author WillR
        Originally Posted by hsbinmarket View Post

        You wrote something important I feel but I cant thank u as I also feel that u fail to use good words to write the post. Hope u will concious in future to use suitable and positive words which hears good.

        May u be succeed.
        This is a joke, right?

        I am using English. What language are you using?
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        • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
          Originally Posted by hsbinmarket View Post

          As newbies, may I know why didn't u use thanks button to thank for the post?
          This is a first! Why do you even give a hoot if someone was thanked or not?



          Originally Posted by hsbinmarket View Post

          You wrote something important I feel but I cant thank u as I also feel that u fail to use good words to write the post. Hope u will concious in future to use suitable and positive words which hears good.

          May u be succeed.
          Originally Posted by WillR View Post

          This is a joke, right?

          I am using English. What language are you using?
          Will, I think he became infatuated with the thanks feature, or maybe his brain may have become infected by the malware on his site.
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        • Profile picture of the author Marc Rodill
          Originally Posted by WillR View Post

          This is a joke, right?

          I am using English. What language are you using?
          I thought that's how they spoke in Australia?

          I'M KIDDING!

          Hey he's probably in a third world country.

          It's all good.

          Spanish will be the #1 language in exactly 2.7 years.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Romaine
    BRB, popping down the shop for some peanuts.
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    • Profile picture of the author lotsofsnow
      Originally Posted by John Romaine View Post

      BRB, popping down the shop for some peanuts.
      Make sure you test them properly. LOL.
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      • Profile picture of the author glowworm
        Banned
        Ha-ha. That's really funny. Wonder if Charlie has tried a coconut?
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  • Profile picture of the author Social App Zone
    This has a creepy parallel to what you might be doing for a living if your business fails.
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    I heard this is how they test the size of each M&M at the M&M factory.

    If it doesn't fit it's the peanut M&M.
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  • Profile picture of the author hsbinmarket
    Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post


    The Moral Of The Story

    Test everything first.
    To be added.
    Test everything first with proper and available tools and techniques.
    As human dont use inhuman tools.
    Apes tools is so funny. But it has not available anything better than .......
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  • Profile picture of the author onegoodman
    No, you don't test everything. Use your common sense. we are not apes.

    Test only what potential will worth your time and effort.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    I thought the moral of the story was "if you got something for free, you may as well shove it up your arse"
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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  • Profile picture of the author John Romaine
    Good thing you didn't throw a watermelon over the fence.
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    BS free SEO services, training and advice - SEO Point

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