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Spam comments that made you laugh

by Will Edwards
47 replies
Last week, I received a spam comment that said something to the effect that I needed to take more care about the punctuation of posts on my blog. It made me smile because the comment was not only very badly worded, but also was full of punctuation mistakes.

Today however, I got a comment that actually did make me laugh out loud ...

That is certainly really attention-grabbing, You are an overly expert doodlekit. We've joined the feed and crunches with regard to while in the search for added of one's terrific posting. Additionally, I embraced your internet site within my social networks
Well, I have been called some things in my time but an 'overly expert doodlekit' ... well ... rather quaint in its own way.

Anyway, I wondered if you have received any spam comments that made you laugh.

Will
#comments #laugh #made #spam
  • Profile picture of the author VinnyBock
    Originally Posted by Will Edwards View Post

    Last week, I received a spam comment that said something to the effect that I needed to take more care about the punctuation of posts on my blog. It made me smile because the comment was not only very badly worded, but also was full of punctuation mistakes.

    Today however, I got a comment that actually did make me laugh out loud ...



    Well, I have been called some things in my time but an 'overly expert doodlekit' ... well ... rather quaint in its own way.

    Anyway, I wondered if you have received any spam comments that made you laugh.

    Will
    LMAO , great idea for a thread starter Will!

    I can't think of anything off the top of my head, or "the roof of my skull", but I will now be on the look out to come back here and post something funny...
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  • Profile picture of the author allcapone
    Spam comments make me cry, imagine managing 5 - 6 authority blogs. It's quite tough to even open the WP-dashboard in some of the mornings.
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  • Profile picture of the author TimothyTorrents
    This is the most recent one I got on my old blog. It was posted on the "Contact" page. Lol.

    You got some beneficial ideas there. I did a search over a trouble and learnt most peoples will agree in your blog. If you are an experienced traveler, you’ll be able to know the ins and outs of travel to all parts with the world, and it is possible to have really specific ideas about what you need to see and in which you desire to go.
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    • Profile picture of the author Will Edwards
      Originally Posted by timbonitus View Post

      This is the most recent one I got on my old blog. It was posted on the "Contact" page. Lol.
      Actually, I was thinking of doing some travelling; can you give me the url of your contact page
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      This wasn't spam but it's been interesting.

      I've been having a chat on a blog with a guy from another country recently. He informed me he had passed an interview and got a job here. I told him I work in a very small office with very few staff. He assured me he had the job and told me to "look very carefully back at my records and you will see you gave me the job"

      I ask "I gave you a job? Is that what you're saying"

      (Him)"Yes, last week. You must look harder and you will succeed in your memory. When will my my visa be ready. What time and where".

      (Me)"Next Tuesday at 4.20"

      (Him)"No problem, I'll pick it up then"

      (Me)"Any food requirements?"

      (Him)"No, just visa"

      (Me)"Fine. What job did I give you again?"

      I'm still waiting for the reply....
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      • Profile picture of the author Will Edwards
        Originally Posted by Richard Van View Post

        This wasn't spam but it's been interesting.

        I've been having a chat on a blog with a guy from another country recently. He informed me he had passed an interview and got a job here. I told him I work in a very small office with very few staff. He assured me he had the job and told me to "look very carefully back at my records and you will see you gave me the job"

        I ask "I gave you a job? Is that what you're saying"

        (Him)"Yes, last week. You must look harder and you will succeed in your memory. When will my my visa be ready. What time and where".

        (Me)"Next Tuesday at 4.20"

        (Him)"No problem, I'll pick it up then"

        (Me)"Any food requirements?"

        (Him)"No, just visa"

        (Me)"Fine. What job did I give you again?"

        I'm still waiting for the reply....
        That reminds me of a company that kept calling me and would not remove my telephone number from their database even though I told them I was not Mr Hill and that they also had the wrong address for my telephone number.

        After a few conversations with them, I relalised I was getting absolutely nowhere and that they were just going to continue calling me and trying to sell me loft insulation.

        So one day, I fixed an appointment with them. I guess that some sales guy went to the wrong address and had an interesting conversation with the inhabitant because I have not heard from them since.

        Will
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  • Profile picture of the author competent123
    it was an intelligent email for me, asking me to value my domain so that he will buy it from me for 28000 USD - i had to spend 800$ on valuing my domain though.

    it was funny, and the worst part, i almost fell for it.
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  • Profile picture of the author lizbot
    Not a comment, but I received a spam email once from a "lawyer" from a "Malaysian law firm." The guy's name?

    Mr. Cave Man

    I printed the email and stuck it on my wall.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mike Hill
      Originally Posted by lizbot View Post

      Not a comment, but I received a spam email once from a "lawyer" from a "Malaysian law firm." The guy's name?

      Mr. Cave Man

      I printed the email and stuck it on my wall.
      That's right up there with getting "Rick Rolled" on YouTube... :rolleyes:
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      • Profile picture of the author FriendlyRob
        most of them at least make me chuckle... I'm pretty sure most aren't written by humans but by software. This is why one should never buy "1000 backlinks for $5" because I'm pretty sure, that's all it is.
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      • Profile picture of the author O.W. Grant
        Had the pleasure of receiving this unique piece on one of my WP blogs...
        No doubt, you must buy Viagra online at low prices [link], directly from [name] Viagra is a brilliant drug against erection problems In the end i want to put here an interesting adventure It's a true story: a certain Donald Roberts gave Viagra to his monkey, then it stole a spade and tried to fu*k a whale!!! So be prepared!!! But I don't want to interrupt you He turned to Brenson and said, My dear fellow, I have just remembered It is so sombre, so depressing Not worthy! Why, the whole world is nothing to me compared with her
        :confused:
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  • Profile picture of the author KevinChapman
    That is a good one, I do love a mad spam comment every now and then
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    I get lots saying I have lots of spelling mistakes when I know I don't. I get tons in other languages and also loads from the same senders. Some are from people asking me to share or swap links but their emails don't exist.
    The list just goes on and on.
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  • Profile picture of the author writeaway
    They use SB with the spin function turned on. No big mystery. Funny spinning shenanigans though. People would get better results if they used human commenters instead to goster inter-blog alliances and cross-branding.
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  • Profile picture of the author Larry Leggett
    WOW. Fantastic blog. I have bookmarked this post and will definitely recommend this to my other friends.
    These kind of spam comments make me laugh loud.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jtraits
    in my blog i get -honestly- 1500 spam comments per week (wordpress blog) ... all that i read is for viagra, luis viton bags etc ....
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    • Profile picture of the author Denise Hall
      Originally Posted by Jtraits View Post

      in my blog i get -honestly- 1500 spam comments per week (wordpress blog) ... all that i read is for viagra, luis viton bags etc ....
      I get those too. And the comments are hilarious sometimes. You can tell they're using a spinner and it used a word that makes no sense at all in the context of the rest of their comment.
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  • Profile picture of the author Victor Edson
    "A lizard pooped on my girlfriend"


    I don't normally open my spam emails, but when I saw this one... I just had to. How the hell was he going to sell me something after that line?

    It turns out he was 'traveling the world' in a hotel with lizards... you see where it went now. I sure didn't click the spam link.. but I still had to see how that was going to be tied in. I wish I could have seen his open & click through rates too.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kaie
      'Have you seen the modicums of milf' hahaha
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  • Profile picture of the author Edman15
    Actually spam comments just make me cry.Everyday thousands of worthless spam comments and deleting them

    I usually don't read spam comments so I am not sure if anything like this comment posted on my blogs or not.
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    • Profile picture of the author Will Edwards
      Originally Posted by Edman15 View Post

      Actually spam comments just make me cry.Everyday thousands of worthless spam comments and deleting them

      I usually don't read spam comments so I am not sure if anything like this comment posted on my blogs or not.
      Actually, you are the second person who posted about the thousands of worthless spam comments you get, so perhaps it is worth mentioning that if you get yourself properly setup with Akismet and/or a number of other anti-spam plugins, the number of spam comments that beat your system will be very low indeed.

      The people who posted above after reading their spam comments probably only get a tiny handful each day. In my case, it is about 2 per day that manage to get past my filtering.

      Will
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      • Profile picture of the author PayForWords
        Banned
        I love when you get comments along the lines of....


        "My friend said site was good. Glad I read this good post!"



        And they post a link along with the comment to something like:

        www.fashion.co.buynike.uk.discount


        :p
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  • Profile picture of the author twister85
    I had a terrific experience with an Australian lady wanted to be my launch partner for one of my products. A Skype chat actually but that gave me another meaning of "WHAT".

    She just added me on Skype and the conversation gone for a while.

    She: Can I be your partner for the launch, I'll provide the upcoming investments

    ( Her intention was clear that she wanted a split from all the sales for just an amount of money)

    Me: sorry mam we already got enough partners to help us with the launch

    She: what?

    I repeated: I said we already got enough partners to help us with the launch

    *BLOCKED*!!!

    I was like whoa! am I missing something? and then after sometime I understood what she already meant by "what". it was a chance to change my mind, haha.

    Crazy lady she was!
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  • Profile picture of the author RogueOne
    You are an overly expert doodlekit.
    After years of trying, I have still not reached "expert" level.
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    • Profile picture of the author Will Edwards
      Originally Posted by RogueOne View Post

      After years of trying, I have still not reached "expert" level.
      Well, I wish I never had after all, an 'ex' is a has-been and a 'spurt' is a drip under pressure

      @owais211

      See my reply to @Edman15 - three above your post.

      Will
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  • Profile picture of the author owais211
    Banned
    Spam comments are a times or rather always a nuisance to me especially to my email spam messages,
    Any idea on how to get rid of them?
    Cheers!
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  • Profile picture of the author clever7
    Sometimes I get a few funny spam comments that escape the filter.

    Once I got a very long comment, which was even longer than my blog post…

    The user names are even funnier:

    clickheretolearnmore, www.mysite.com, trafficgenius, etc
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  • Profile picture of the author LarryC
    I'm used to spam blog comments, but I just got a similar type of thing as a personal message at YouTube. I don't know how funny it is, except for the idea that I would really think this was written to me personally --

    Well Hey!

    Ӏ just caught оne of уоur vіds on YouTube. Cаn уοu say ΑᎳESOМЕ!

    І canˊt belіevе tһat уour video isn't gеttinɡ more vіеws, I mean come οn people!
    Serіоusly, Yоur vіds are somе оf tһe ƅest around, can't believe more pеople havеnʽt enjoyеd them.

    Your vіdеοs аrе sο muϲh mоre entеrtainіnɡ tһаt mοst оf crар yοu find on somе people's chаnnels, thanks a ton for tһat!

    It's so ԝeіrd thаt ρeоρle seem tо watϲһ the sаmе kіnd оf gаrbаge videos all tһе tіmе. I mеan ϳust lооk аt the mоst роpular videos, when compared to уοurs they seеm so stalе.

    Ι won't tаke uр much mοrе of уοur time. I just ԝantеd to lеt уou knoԝ thаt а friend οf mіnе usеd to have the same ρroblem with lοw vіеws until he stumbled uροn,

    (URL edited out)

    Wһat they dіd was send а ton οf viewers to уοur video. Ӏt rеallу ԝas quite ɡenius. Ӏt һеlрed hіs vidеоs ɡet rаnkеd іn some οf the YouTubе "mоst ԝatϲһеd" lists and really ɡrabƅed thе attention оf tһе YouTube community. >>
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      You might not think it's funny, but I did have to laugh!

      I got one promising me they would guarantee to increase a part of my body by two full inches. The problem is that, that part of the anatomy they were talking about is exclusive to men!

      C'mon! Over and beyond being blatant spam, I do have a pic of myself on my site and I'm quite certain it doesn't look male at all. :rolleyes:

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author stoltingmediagroup
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        You might not think it's funny, but I did have to laugh! I got one promising me they would guarantee to increase a part of my body by two full inches. The problem is that, that part of the anatomy they were talking about is exclusive to men! C'mon! Over and beyond being blatant spam, I do have a pic of myself on my site and I'm quite certain it doesn't look male at all. :rolleyes: Terra

        I do enjoy the Viagra spam for a good laugh! One time I received this one:

        Subject: Shock All Your Friends With Your New BIG tool!

        I mean, how did they know that I take my tool box with me and show all my friends??

        And then that same week I received this one:

        Subject: Be Proud To Change Your Underwear In Public!

        At this point I was certain they must have been stalking me!
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by stoltingmediagroup View Post

          I do enjoy the Viagra spam for a good laugh! One time I received this one:

          Subject: Shock All Your Friends With Your New BIG tool!

          I mean, how did they know that I take my tool box with me and show all my friends??

          And then that same week I received this one:

          Subject: Be Proud To Change Your Underwear In Public!

          At this point I was certain they must have been stalking me!
          Haha!

          Well at least you weren't hit with the penile extension ones. Am I allowed to say that?

          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author stoltingmediagroup
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            Haha! Well at least you weren't hit with the penile extension ones. Am I allowed to say that? Terra
            According to wikipedia, "Penile is a historic community located in Jefferson County, Kentucky, United States. Formerly an unincorporated community, it was designated a neighborhood of Louisville, Kentucky when the city merged with Jefferson County in 2003. Penile is pronounced by locals as Pa-nilē. The most prominent sights in Penile are a cemetery and Penile Baptist Church."

            So I guess there are people who have to say: "I live in Penile".
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            • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
              Originally Posted by stoltingmediagroup View Post

              So I guess there are people who have to say: "I live in Penile".
              Also some one in New York is a New Yorker but because of the way the word is, a person in Penile is probably called a Penile.

              ...So, if the builders were round putting an extra room on your house, you'd probably let it slip out (no pun intended) that you're a Penile having an extension done.

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    • Profile picture of the author VinnyBock
      Originally Posted by LarryC View Post

      I'm used to spam blog comments, but I just got a similar type of thing as a personal message at YouTube. I don't know how funny it is, except for the idea that I would really think this was written to me personally --

      Well Hey!

      Ӏ just caught оne of уоur vіds on YouTube. Cаn уοu say ΑᎳESOМЕ!

      І canˊt belіevе tһat уour video isn't gеttinɡ more vіеws, I mean come οn people!
      Serіоusly, Yоur vіds are somе оf tһe ƅest around, can't believe more pеople havеnʽt enjoyеd them.

      Your vіdеοs аrе sο muϲh mоre entеrtainіnɡ tһаt mοst оf crар yοu find on somе people's chаnnels, thanks a ton for tһat!

      It's so ԝeіrd thаt ρeоρle seem tо watϲһ the sаmе kіnd оf gаrbаge videos all tһе tіmе. I mеan ϳust lооk аt the mоst роpular videos, when compared to уοurs they seеm so stalе.

      Ι won't tаke uр much mοrе of уοur time. I just ԝantеd to lеt уou knoԝ thаt а friend οf mіnе usеd to have the same ρroblem with lοw vіеws until he stumbled uροn,

      (URL edited out)

      Wһat they dіd was send а ton οf viewers to уοur video. Ӏt rеallу ԝas quite ɡenius. Ӏt һеlрed hіs vidеоs ɡet rаnkеd іn some οf the YouTubе "mоst ԝatϲһеd" lists and really ɡrabƅed thе attention оf tһе YouTube community. >>
      LOL I got that message on Youtube today...
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  • Profile picture of the author jonzathe
    HAHAHA. This thread made my day. Ahh scrapebox; and it's useful yet spammy methods...
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  • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
    Spinning software can be quite the comedian these days!
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  • Profile picture of the author ReferralCandy
    Sometimes i find that the spam on WP blogs can be more creative and engaging than the stuff actual people write or say.

    Here's one I received recently that I read the whole way through:

    Ln. As being the eighteen-year-old silver cat jewelry sterling silver cat [link removed], that she were the mans Tang Shu silver round necklace, Ichiro Yamaguchi silver dog pendants, crown belonging to the obligatory outside of Yamaguchi into Tokyo silver crown pendant, japan silver cat necklace, placed under house public arrest in such Kyoto.

    In the aftermath of 4 years of the attention silver bow earring, the companies results to successfully enlighten these old-timers succeed at our own workforce and then growing superstar silver dolphin pendant, although the dispute also has been those boost attached to several of us silver dragon ring, however than Ichiro Yamaguchi silver bird earrings, the length of his influence is still cheap sterling silver penguin, much . to compare and contrast and furthermore Ichiro Yamaguchi .

    “Miss silver key ring, We heard what is this great silver snake pendant, the man teen learn rrnside the Chinese language courses gambling onboard cruiseships and then Euro live dealer roulette when we bet combined with destroyed our miserable.Centimeter Mieko Yamaguchi house maid endured anyway sterling silver disney jewelry, they homozygous whispered.

    Yamaguchi came across by the male-driver is definitely quite silver scroll ring, only just Mieko Yamaguchi aside from that explored particularly blue because eventually being contented silver elephant charm, took zygote turn silver dolphin charm, “this tv news well said?” To watch definitely a really good jerk zygote sterling silver bear, Mieko stated utilizing grin: “a positive health issues silver male ring, that we think that according to the original Tang Shu the easiest way a person pressured us all to help get married to your man’s son and daughter.In because of the fact she has the issue here is it process silver bow bracelet, and after this go inside mans passed away, and she is surely don’t worry about.

    “Now you should never cross of the natural male marital, don’t say thanks to you my vision?Half inch Mieko Yamaguchi play what, suddenly emerged within the body to make sure you Ouyang.

    Mieko is satisfied mood changing rather than turned out to be associated with startled to seem, transform getting to of any reliable during that technique in addition to uncovered Ouyang Xiao Hehe looked into their.

    “Who planning on? Why probably did most people be?” Mieko Yamaguchi minds regarding certain dread, Ouyang just didn’t think of the thoughts your youngster what exactly is was generated. When it comes to my own personal residence he was regarded as a simple fact that, protection, however not strong, even so that they are on the way of are available as this is certainly unachievable. Nevertheless a persons vision
    It makes no sense, but that was strangely satisfying.
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  • Profile picture of the author Denise Hall
    Here's one that I just found on my recipe website:

    "Awesome issues here. I am very happy to see your post. Thanks so much and I am looking ahead to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?"

    Issues? Um, they're recipes, dude.

    Looking ahead to touch me? I don't think so!
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  • Profile picture of the author driftboy21
    yeah! some cheap backlinker from a gig website do.. makes me scratch my heads sometimes.
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  • Profile picture of the author marlanw
    My CDN, Cloudflare now allows comments on the "bot blocker" capcha dialog. I took the time to read a few of them. One said.

    "Good job. I had to try."
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    • Profile picture of the author sethdrebitko
      What else?Let's find.Oh, yeah, there's poor t-Dog having a nasty blood infectivity.You know, he has a pretty good attitude around the whole situation, all issues considered.When he commenced laughing about his condition, i actually could pass on.I was in a bad auto accident once(I'm good! )That involved the car that i was inside overturning down an embankment.After the ambulance arrived and i got strapped to a gurney, among the emt's yelled,"Hey, there is a brown recluse index on his chest, get it off of him! "Along with, yes, i laughed.Because blood was gushing coming from my head, i honestly thought that has been the funniest thing which i had ever heard.My spouse and i survived an overturned vehicle, but i was visiting die from a crawl bite.Thankfully, merle had a tendency to obtain the clap, so t-Dog located his antibiotics. (Also, fortunately, i wasn't bitten by just a brown recluse spider, in the event you were on the edge of the seat there. )
      This one added a link to an NFL jersey store on the end.
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  • Profile picture of the author themichaelcook
    Originally Posted by Will Edwards View Post

    Last week, I received a spam comment that said something to the effect that I needed to take more care about the punctuation of posts on my blog. It made me smile because the comment was not only very badly worded, but also was full of punctuation mistakes.

    Today however, I got a comment that actually did make me laugh out loud ...



    Well, I have been called some things in my time but an 'overly expert doodlekit' ... well ... rather quaint in its own way.

    Anyway, I wondered if you have received any spam comments that made you laugh.

    Will

    HAHA, Great post Will. I myself admit that I don't have the best grammar never have and never will it was one of those classes in school where I tried really hard to understand but never could.

    I put commas where they don't belong but I feel as long as I get my point across that's all that matters.

    People like to nit pick over stuff but this post made me honestly LOL you overly expert doodlekit(just kidding)

    This made my day, I'm glad I came across it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Anonymous Affiliate
    For one of my sites, a membership site, someone filed a spam complain on the welcome email (the one with the user login and password) that the system sends automatically upon registering. Go figure.
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  • Profile picture of the author katherineolga
    I have to start reading my SPAM comments when I get them. I actually got one that had the word "doodlekit" in it. Actually, it is NOT a word. Why is it even in spam comments? What do people think they are trying to accomplish?
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Ha, I got one today that was really into storytelling while trying to peddle Air Jordan 13's, Celine handbags and Lord knows what else.

      This desperate design would probably have succeeded,but for the ruffians being discovered in their lurking-place by Sir George Staunton and Butler,in their accidental walk from the Caird's Cove towards the Manse. Finding himself detected,and at the same time observing that the servant carried a casket,or strong-box,Donacha conceived that both his prize and his victims were within his power,furla handbags outlet and attacked the travellers without hesitation. Shots were fired and swords drawn on both sides; Sir George Staunton offered the bravest resistance till he fell,as there was too much reason to believe,by the hand of a son,so long sought,and now at length so unhappily met.
      While Butler was half-stunned with this intelligence,the candy bag furla outlet hoarse voice of Knockdunder added to his consternation.
      he researches which the cheap jordans Whistler's real father made after him whom he had been taught to consider as such. Donacha Dhu's fears had been for some time excited by the strength of the bred 11s means which began now to be employed against persons of his description.jordan 13 bred He was sensible he existed only by the precarious indulgence of his namesake,Cheap Jordan 13 He Got Game Shoes Duncan of Knockdunder,who was used to boast that he could put him down or string him up when he had a mind.celine bags He resolved to leave the kingdom by means of one of those sloops which were engaged in the traffic of his old kidnapping friends,celine handbags online and which was about to sail for America; but he was desirous first to strike a bold stroke.
      The ruffian's cupidity was excited by the intelligence,cheap furla handbags that a wealthy Englishman was coming to the Manse - he had neither forgotten the Whistler's report of the gold he had seen in Lady Staunton's purse,nor his old vow of revenge against the minister;bags furla outlet and,to bring the whole to a point,he conceived the hope of appropriating the money,which,according to the general report of the country,the minister was to bring from Edinburgh to pay for his pew purchase. While he was considering how he might best accomplish his purpose,cheap jordans shoes he received the intelligence from one quarter,that the vessel in which he proposed to sail was to sail immediately from Greenock;bred 11s from another,that the minister and a rich English lord,with a great many thousand pounds,were expected the next evening at the Manse; and from a third,that he must consult his safety by leaving his ordinary haunts as soon as possible,air jordan 13 bred for that the Captain had ordered out a party to scour the glens for him at break of day. Donacha laid his plans with promptitude and decision. He embarked with the Whistler and two others of his band (whom,by the by,he meant to sell to the kidnappers),Air Jordan 13 Retro He Got Game and set sail for the Caird's Cove. He intended to lurk till nightfall in the wood adjoining to this place,which he thought was too near the habitation of men to excite the suspicion of Duncan Knock,then break into Butler's peaceful habitation,celine bag and flesh at once his appetite for plunder and revenge. When his villany was accomplished,his boat was to convey him to the vessel,which,celine handbags outlet according to previous agreement with the master,was instantly to set sail.
      Ummm, wrong century, dude.

      Then there was this one that just doesn't make any sense at all.

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      Huh?

      Seriously, do these spammers actually think that they are accomplishing something? :confused:

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author basse
    If I could read chinese then I would probably have a lot of comments to laugh about
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    ==> I am back!: imbasse.com

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    • Profile picture of the author Aussie_Al
      I love the spam blog comments that are insulting..what's the logic behind that?

      "I say there I found your blog today - I must say you have too many spelling mistakes on here - did you never learn to spell?"

      I mean who in their right mind would approve that?
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