What if Business School Reflected Realty?

by DeePower 2 replies
Thought this might start off September with a smile

News Release – Immediate Release
Contact info is below


What if Business School Reflected Reality?

(Fountain Hills, AZ – September 1, 2008) September is back to
school month and thoughts turn to classes, homework and
textbooks. What if business school reflected reality? Dee
Power and Brian Hill, Arizona authors of several business books,
have come up with some courses that should be considered
mandatory.

Management 501 -- The Theory and Practice of Working With
Obnoxious People.
Learn the personality types to watch out for when you take a
new job—The Blowhard, the Backstabber, the Letch and the Liar.
Study effective coping strategies that, for the most part, do
not involve bloodshed.

Macroeconomics 2004 -- Taking Credit for An Improving Economy.
Analyze the advanced techniques by incumbents to make certain
the national economy peaks in time for the November elections.
How fiscal & monetary policy are used to moderate the business
cycle. And learn how pigs fly.

Accounting 501 -- Tax Camp For Freshman.
Students visit lovely Camp Ficafuta where they have an
immersive two-week experience in learning how to fill out the
250 or so tax forms now required of all small businesses.

Management 123 -- Coping With the Clueless.
Learn to work cooperatively with mentally challenged colleagues.
How to conduct an entire conversation with one syllable words.
Recognize the signs of eyes glazing over in a meeting. How to
communicate with hand signals when necessary. Finding out that
you don’t need orange hair and floppy shoes to be a Bozo.

Marketing Lab 101 -- The Theory and Practice of Being Rejected
in Sales.
Eager young stock broker trainees are plunged into the world
of cold calling. The lab meets from 2:00-4:00 each Thursday,
or until half the class in tears. Students are required to
bring Prozac and at least one change of underwear. This is well
known as the toughest elective class available.

Management 8:45 Fundamentals of Overtime.
Dr. S. Legree. Students learn how to apologize to their spouse
for missing dinner four nights in a row. How to concentrate on
their computer while the night crew is running the vacuum. How
to determine which convenience stores are safe to shop at after
midnight.

Business Law 101 -- Lawyers are People, Too.
Aspiring entrepreneurs learn the subtle differences between a
$200 an hour lawyer and a $500 one. Why female attorneys don’t
wear make-up. The meaning of the secret handshake your lawyer
gives the opposing one before a meeting. Why a lawyer’s office
is always nicer than yours.

Real Estate 501 -- Obtaining a Bank Loan to Start
Your Business.
This is taught by the real estate department because if you
don’t put up your house as collateral, you ain’t getting no
loan bud.

Finance 666 -- How to Be a Venture Capitalist.
Young financiers learn the art of printing out large numbers
of form letter rejections from their laptops while they are at
a two-hour lunch. Methods of recycling old, unread business
plans into festive holiday packing material. Choosing a
secretary who can say, “I’m sorry, he’s in a meeting.” 256
times a day and still sound marginally convincing.

Finance 50210 -- The Art of Appearing Rich On a Limited Budget.
How to lease a Lexus one evening at a time. Shopping the
Stafford College at J.C. Penney. Painting Platinum enamel over
your starter American Express Card. Ordering wine for your boss
in a restaurant without puzzling over how long it takes the
French guy to get the screw-top off the bottle.

Finance 459 -- Fantasy Financial Forecasting.
Baby budgeters learn the similarities between a planning
session and a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. How choosing a fancy
spreadsheet software program can add credibility to even the
most ridiculous numbers. Why the hockey stick approach nearly
always works. And last but not least, why investors consider
business plans works of fiction.
*****************************

About the Authors:

Dee Power and Brian Hill are the authors of several business
books including "Attracting Capital From Angels," "Inside Secrets
to Venture Capital," and the novel "Over Time" Money, Love and
Football: All the Important Things in Life, You can reach them
through their website How to get a book published Authors Brian Hill and Dee Power or
Venture Capital, Business plans, small business loans, grants: Entrepreneur's Resource for Success
*********************************

Hope you enjoyed it.

Dee
#main internet marketing discussion forum #business #realty #reflected #school
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  • Profile picture of the author CWreports
    Dee,

    That was too funny. And sadly, so appropiate in today's business environment. I don't think you missed anything.

    Carol
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    “I must create a system or be enslaved by another man’s.” W.Blake
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