Does Anyone Get Lonely?

Sometime it drives me mad. I am a very social person and used to be a bit of a corporate trouble shooter. I used to love sorting out bad managers, finding good ones, and all the interaction that involved.

I also used to spend a major amount of time in the Post / Production arena, but I tend to just deal with the management side of the business now. Still, it was (and still is) fun to deal with wacky media type (Eddie - I'm looking at you).

Seminars are my favourite thing - I love presenting. However, on a cold rainy day it does my head in something awful. I try and go for run or head to the gym.

Having said that, I do enjoy being in the office with Eddie etc, always fun. Although I hate office politics, I do miss the social side of it sometimes.

The lonely aspect of running a business extends to most entrepreneurs though, not just IM ones. That's as much to do with massive responsibility as interaction though....

That's a great point and one rarely discussed. The last year or so I've been feeling a little of "is this all there is" myself. I wouldn't call it loneliness but a lifestyle that kind of sucks.

Other full time Internet guys in my area are talking more about this also and we have started taking our laptops to Starbucks or similar every Wednesday at noon just to get out.

I also "force" myself to the gym three times per week just to get out and have some social interaction.

I've always outsourced a little but the reality is if you want a more balanced lifestyle you MUST outsource more.

Of course if I could just get those passive income streams over the 10K a month mark than I'm sure I'd "get out more"

I'm getting there but unfortunately I'm still trading too many hours for dollars.

Hey Barb!

I know that feeling.. I have seen days where I worked for over 17 hours... And that is when you start hating it.

but in my case, my younger brother Sarthak (11 years old) is intelligenmt enough to leqarn it from me and apply it in teeny-weeny niches and make some nice change... so for me I have never been alone.

But5 the key is not to spend too much tiome in front of a computer... In stead working smart and outsourcing the redundant so that you go out and have some serious fun.

If you ever feel like a chat to a fellow Brit to tell of your woes or your triumphs, feel free to email me at harry at inform101.com

UHHH excuse me... Look at me. Does it look like I could ever possibly get lonely?

Hi Barb,

I assume you wanted to leave your 'nine to five' job because you saw more advantages in working from home ( things like the potential to make more money, being around your family, etc.).

Try everyday (best in the morning before you start working) to think about the reasons why you left your job and the goals you wanted to achieve by becoming an entrepreneur, working from home. It must have been something that motivated you very much at that time because otherwise you wouldn't have left your job in the first place.

By thinking about it again and visualizing the positive outcomes you want to achieve, you'll feel this motivation and the exiting feelings again. And that makes it much easier and way more fun to "attack" your daily to-do-list. :-)

And last but not least, make sure you organize your work and automate it as much as possible. This will reduce your daily working hours and you'll have more time to be around your family, friends, etc.

Hope this helps.

Peter

I cannot believe that someone else here could feel exactly like me!

Yep, it is a lonely world out there, more so because I am naturally an introvert and don't socialize much.

Time was when I used to remain cocooned inside my room in the name of 'business'. Then I saw that it was actually a very bad approach. Now I have made a few friends online and chat with them. Sometimes I also post in this forum or simply lurk just to while away time (it definitely helps to get rid of the boredom). Sometimes I log into my Clickbank and Paypal accounts to see how much money I have made so far - that kinda motivates me and pushes me forward.

Other things I do: go for shopping at least once every week, and take a definite break on Sunday!

Arindam

I wish I could get time to be lonely. I am in network marketing we hold calls and virtula meetings.. If not, my son/husband are always making noise.. some times I wish I could have more time to feel "lonely'...

For those with a problem, why not get in touch with afew people in different businesses and get in touch once in a while. Also, having a routine say to go to a gym, home meetings could be a good thing. Lonilness is not good

I have a -really- great friend of mine who also works from home; he does Data Integration and is on phone calls and conference calls through his PC all day long. We sit on Yahoo and chat while we work. It passes the time nicely; he's like a cubicle mate, just in Minnesota. He shoots me interesting things off the net here and there and I pass him blurbs from my favorite online cartoons or interesting news stories that relate to our political gab fests.

When he or I are "out sick", the day goes a lot slower and not nearly as enjoyable.

Find someone who works at home like you, to share your day with. Everyone should have an IM buddy that doesn't drive them bonkers, respects client calls and AFK times and is just generally easy going. What's more, I can bounce business ideas off him all the time and he's great at giving quality feedback, not just fluff.

Best,

~Danielle

go work in a cafe

One of my little excuses for doing things lately is "Bored, lonely,
absolutely nothing better to do, thought I'd try work (or
whatever)." It's far enough from my situation that I think it's
funny but at first I was a bit worried about that one, because
there was a time it would have had a serious side. But it has
been nice and people do enjoy it.

Another one is when something goes wrong for someone, they've
just missed an elevator and are upset about it, or bumped their
head: "Well, my whole life is like that, why not yours?" After about
the 10th time the "why not yours" took on a nice nasty tone that
made it funnier. But the "my whole life is like that" part did come
out of a time when it was a little too close to being true.

Yes.

The "need to get out" was a big part of the impetus that caused me to start walking. I started out by walking a few miles every evening and that one small step has led to a full-blown lifestyle change. I'm down 85 lbs. and in better shape than I was in college.


I still don't have a laptop. I plan on picking one up in the post-Thanksgiving Day sales just so that I have a bit more flexibility. There are still days where I feel like I'm a prisoner in my house.

Not at all! I like to work alone in front of my computer and it seems that there are so many things to do yet I have too little time to finish it all. But, if it's a Saturday night of course there's no reason why a glass of "Cosmopolitan" or "Baileys" should be disregarded. Sundays are mostly spent with family and before I knew it, it's time to get back to work again. How does that sound? I hope I didn't bore fellow warriors!.....

Yes. internet marketing is a very isolating occupation. I try to visit local clients, family who live near by and friends. ...and as someone mentioned I work sometimes in a coffee house.
_____
Bruce

I rarely get lonely - my family (both biological and church) loves gathering and hanging out. My phone is ringing now...

Had a couple of spells of solitary, once when trying to set up as a web designer and another time working on my employers website at home for 6 weeks. I've now learned to pull myself away from the computer every now and again and get out and see people, I think I'd go mad if I didn't see anyone for days on end.

Does anyone get lonely, well..........my 20.00 dallar bill is lonely for a 100.00 bill, he wants to move up in the world.

But truthfully, working all day on a computer is NOT NORMAL even if I am good at it......can't wait till the day I can retire and turn it off and do somthing else.

When I was doing internet marketing full time I serious just about went crazy from spending so much time alone. At first is was great but after a while it was terrible. I think everyone will get to that point at sometime, humans need a certain amount of social contact, even if you are and introvert like I still classify myself as.

I don't get lonely, but that's the cool
thing about split-personality. I always
have someone to rant at, even when
nobody wants to pay to hear it.

When I do need a little people energy,
I go work at the library. They have a
nice quiet room with big windows.

I can look at the people and observe
them as they go about their activities
online.

Fascinating. Most of them never go to
an Internet marketing site.

That's as close as I usually get to
real people - that's the only way I can
remain as anti-social as I am.

X

I can't really answer that, by the looks of this thread I'm one of the few that still has a day job. But I really would like to find out, instead of having to put up with all the childish backstabbing that goes on at work.(no anger there)

Great Thread:
Rich

I agree it's isolating. I also don't stay anywhere for long so the need to stay in touch with people I'm close to by phone, email and chats becomes more important.

One thing that can help is getting out of yourself. There are so many people with circumstances that isolate them. (We're at least choosing the isolation.)

Seniors, shut-ins, children at the sick kid's hospital, dogs or cats at the pound.

Volunteering even once a week to read to a senior, deliver a meal to a shut-in, play a game with a sick kid, walk a dog or pet a cat at the pound will not only make a contribution but it's a blast knowing how excited they are going to be to see you.

Your visit becomes the high-light of their week and you go home happy, knowing you've made a difference in someone else's life and counting your blessings.

I'm very introverted and wish I could get away from the world and just do IM. But I can't (at least not yet).

Handicapped people are often "socially out of the loop"
anyway so after 20 years I am used to being my own
best friend. I wouldn't give a flyin' rats ass if I never
had to leave the property.

T.W.

Like 'X' (Hi Mr. B!) I tend be a little 'split-personality' when it comes to internet marketing and social interaction.

My last job before going full time in IM was as a one-man remote in Northern California for a staffing company in Southern California, so combined I've been working alone for the past 6 years, and working from home for myself for the past 4.

It was great at first because I'm massively anti-social. I like being around people, but strongly dislike talking face to face with people. Because of this I can never quite figure out what the best work environment would be for me.

Living in Las Vegas only makes things worse, as I don't drink, gamble or chase women. If you don't partake in any of those three, there just isn't any reason to leave the house!

As a result, I have been known to go 3-4 days at a time without so much as walking out the front door of my house. (I usually realize this when I finally step outside and am totally blinded by the sun for the first hour.)

Fortunately, I'll be leaving Vegas in the next 3-6 months - likely headed for Portland, OR. Once I do, I have a plan in place to rent office space within walking distance of my house. This will guarantee that I get out of the house each day, get a little exercise, and will be around a number of people while at the same time being able to minimize my interaction with them.

I *think* after all these years, that I may have stumbled onto creating the right environment for myself.

I went through a pretty bad depressive stretch partly as a result of being too isolated while working from home (as 'X' can attest to when I used to bug him incessantly about it via email!) but once I finally recognized the specific problem, that alone solved a large portion of it.

~Mike

I dropped out of high school (year 10) to do this all full time, and I feel like this all the time. I do however try to go out as much as possible.

I wonder though, can't you still chat with people while you're on the internet? Social and network IM friends online, doesn't that count as interaction? Even if it's not in person, it's still better than nothing at all.

I'm already preparing for this part as I know I'll really miss people being around me and when I go fulltime I'll need to set aside time to do that... which is fine.

I suggest joining a club or starting a class, or try a new social activity where you get to meet people.

It's worse when you're single with no family, so you have to drag yourself out of the house and force to be around other people.

Actually sometimes i feel lonely too; however, when i feel lonely i
get my laptop and i go somewhere else to work like coffee shop.

That is why i love to work online because i can work from anywhere i
want and any time i want.

Mario

Yea, I do. I think I need a hug

One of my most productive periods was when my whole family went for a holiday for 12 days. I decided not to go because at that time my business was not yet taking off, and I wanted to concentrate on building it.

Yes, it was lonely. I subjugated it a little by going down to Starbucks, going down to the library, shopping etc

In that time I got a lot done.

- Launched a new business
- Read 4 books (including The E-Myth and The Four Hour Work Week)
- Created the marketing plan that I use today
- (comtemplated the hell I would go through upon enlisting into National Service)

I also used time to do whatever I wanted to do. Buy a pizza and eat it on your own, watch documentaries etc.

It was one of the most productive periods of my life because there were no distractions.

Fabian

Hey Mike -

It's great to see you here - it's been a long
time amigo.

Moving to Portland? I really miss living up
there sometimes - great city (if you don't
mind a little rain now and then :-) You
better like coffee, micro-brew and the
Trail Blazers.

Truth is, my most productive times are
when I'm feeling most anti-social - my
wife knows when I'm "in mode" - it's
like Jack Nicholson in the Shining. She
just leaves food by the door.

When I'm feeling nice, happy and
sociable, I get nothing done . . .

X

I feel that the beauty of working on a computer is that you are always working. The time goes by faster because you aren't necessarily depending on interactions that could slow down/extend your work day. Its efficiency in my opinion, leaves more time for social interaction after work (and also provides more motivation to get out and move around).

I'm lonely now-thats why I am in the WF at the moment. Living on your own in unfamiliar territory sucs.

graham

I do but only when I'm slackin. Most the time I'm working so hard on multiple things that I'm too busy to be lonely. Or my wife comes home and bugs me. ha

Sometimes the computer can be a good friend and at the same time a big distraction from life. I cannot resist to check my email, stats, sales, etc.. whenever I get around one.

However my biggest challenge is being at home all of the time. One of my goals is to get an office out of the home. Being around the Wife and kids at time can be a big distraction and quite frankly drives me crazy at times.

Unlike surfnowworklater my wife stays at home and bugs me.

It does..Sometimes, after sitting in front of the PC for straight 10-12 hours a couple of days, i feel so damn lonely and miserable.. Normally, i will take a drive out and go enjoy a drink with my friends.

Doing this keeps me energized

Hi Barb,

That's normal working as a solo entrepreneur.

That's why it's great to start or join a mastermind group of positive and success
minded people.

Check out facebook and some other social sites to make connections.

Or check out my sig box for a group that includes a lot of training and contact with others.

-- Mark Hendricks

I don't get lonely, I guess you could say I get a little restless at times. Usually when I do work on the computer, I'm listening to music. Believe it or not this helps a crap load. You should try it if you dont already

If I ever get lonely, I just remind myself of what it was like to work in an office, have a boss, have co-workers who sometimes annoyed me and spend long days making money for someone else.

that cures me of my loneliness pretty quick.

Yep! I get lonely sometimes . . .but most of the time I'm happy working by myself. I can get as engrossed as I want in a project and I don't have any interruptions :-) . . . and the nice thing about working for myself is that when I do get lonely, I can go out and do whatever I want, when I want to do it. Ahhh! yes, the short bouts of lonliness are a small price to pay for freedom, aren't they?

Yea...I agree. There are many times when I am lonely and just start thinking to myself.

But then I remember how much I hated to be told what to do by a boss that didn't even know my name...ouch that sucked.

I guess it all comes down to your why which has to be strong to keep you in the game.

You know, this thread really does open up the question of Mental Health in the industry. Is there really a cause to be concerned? It appears that loneliness which can lead to more severe depression is a common thing amongst this group.

I'm currently working on 3 projects that all revolve around Social Interaction and dovetail together to provide more 'face 2 face' communication. So this question of loneliness is a very interesting, yet disturbing one.

In Faith Popcorn's book "The Popcorn Report" she discussed the trends towards a more 'insular' life. A society that is building walls around itself and cocooning. The scary thing is, she wrote that in 1991!! Have we reached that point and is there no turning back?

So Barb, I hear you, and so does everyone else. Do what people are suggesting and force yourself out for some social medicine. If that is not always possible spend more time in the 'Social Sites' and chat rooms. But best of all, pick up the phone. Talk.

IMO, I think loneliness (when developing, running & growing your own "online" business) is directly related to how much you are making on a consistent monthly basis. I feel that if you are consistently have found your way & easily generating a minimum of $5,000 to $8,000 per month in net income, then that loneliness will go away.

I consider myself still young, and I aim to work really hard & play really hard as well. I want to head out to the clubs or hit the beach on the weekend. I want to chase hot women & buy things that I want anytime I want. I want to do Spring Break every 3 months. But for me, I won't & can't do that until I'm consistently generating $10,000 per month. That's my motivation.
And yes, right now, things are lonely. I'm learning which is fun learning new things to implement in your business does not make yourself more sociable. But once you start generating the money you want & can get up & leave any day of the week, jump on a plane & go to a seminar or conference....that's the level we all need to get at.
$10,000 per month is the goal. Then after that, $10,000 per day.

The key to not feeling lonely sitting on a computer all day long is to completely remove yourself from the computer in the later hours of the day.

Seriously get out of the house, go visit your friends and family, it will not only help clear your head but you'll be surprised at how much more productive you can be after having a little nightly break.

You can make it better by travelling around with your laptop

Internet Marketing is a means to an end for me. It was a goal to achieve a flexible lifestyle that allowed me to enjoy...well...life. Although, I have had my share of long work stretches in the past, I never work "at the computer all day long". I make sure I have time for family, friends and even just for stuff I like doing on my own.

Sometimes it's tough to find that balance, but if you work for it, it will come.

Alice

Yes it have this feeling as well. But sometime when I'm outsdie, I will miss my laptop.
It's contradicting i would say

I worked in offices far too long to miss it. Co-wokers were not my friends. I left them behind at quitting time. Office politics is anything but friendly. I don't miss it.

I work alone and have my 2 dogs with me. When I'm done working and want companionship, I see family and friends.

I wouldn't say it gets lonely, more frustrating constantly being distracted and interrupted.

Its great to take your work to a library or social place have a few drinks and brainstorm.

Even then people are constantly interrupting you for chats.....

anyone have a deserted island for me?

Honestly I don't get that feeling. I think the reason is because I have my social life seperate, and I go out very often either to the gym or to classes or just out on the town. The time i spend working sort of counts as alone time for me so the feeling of loneliness never really happens just because my mind is always occupied wen I am working.

I don't feel lonely being at home with the computer. If you do maybe you could chat online with others by instant messenger,facebook chat etc.You could meet some interesting new people and maybe learn some new things too.

Hi Barb,

You know I often wonder what we did pre computers and mobiles !

I spend all day on computers but most of it is surrounded by other people - I just haven't got the courage to break free yet.

Yes it can be quite lonely when I'm at home but I try and put that aside and think of all the things that I will benefit from once I get the hang of all this.

The internet is a wonderful, but often dangerous thing and I have to say when my kids ask me to help them with their homework I just google it! Cheating...yes, easier....certainly....bothered? Absolutely not!

Fraser
:-)

Of course. But that is normal. And one just have to deal with it.
Trick is to occupy yourself with your work and use pauses creatively.
Luckily, working at home has some benefits too. You can pause your work anytime and see loved ones in no time.
Playing with kids gave me great balance to my "static" work and it charges my batteries so fast.
Proven method. It works.

Sometimes I spend weeks on end just at home, with my only outing being the gym and maybe to the grocery store. It does become quite lonely at times, but then again, Id rather that than having to listen to whingnig bosses and annoying workmates.

After spending years as a journalist constantly on the go, meeting people, talking with townsfolk and mingling with office staff, I did find working at home rather a lonesome activity at first.

But now, I just love myself so much, I don't like to share me with anyone else.

In the past few weeks, however, I've become a bit stir crazy. My van died last year so that has made me severely housebound. I can walk a few km to get groceries and exercise the dog (and me). If I want to go farther afield, however, I need to catch a bus or a taxi, both of which I find terribly inconvenient.

By the time I walk to the bus stop, I'm half way to the library. If I do hop the bus for that other half (which is a bit too far for me to walk), it takes the circuitous route around the entire town. Not right up Yonge Street where the library is, as I would expect. :rolleyes:

My van was my mobile office. It took me on photo shoots, to interviews, to my volunteer work, to my writing club, to fun events, to the gym, to the bookstore (my favorite hangout) and numerous other places.

And so I've endured being housebound for over a year.

Thank goodness for the Warrior Forum and my friend in Niagara Falls who exchanges emails with me on a regular basis.

I'm now plotting how I can get another car - with no money.

Then, I would be able to mingle with people all over the place. AND make the library my office again.

Sylvia

I don't get lonely.

Let me tell you why.

I go to the gym.

Meet my friends.

Socialise and go out and have fun.

I go to the movies, go for family meals. I interact with my buddies from my old University..

I am constantly meeting "real people" as opposed to sitting on forums all day, putting on weight, piling on the pounds..

Health is important in Internet Marketing.

I make time for IM - from my working hours. I make sure I do not work on weekends..and make have a plan of action.

Why get fat and depressed?

Why stay on the forum 24/7 and remain active when you go out and get fresh air or go for a drive?

IM is just a passion for me - do not make it your life.

It is the Be Careful What You Wish For conundrum!

You work for a company, but hate the commute, your boss, and/or co-workers! So, you wish you were self-employed and worked from home (as that would solve all problems)!

You now work for yourself (and hate it, because you have to go out there and find the work yourself and don't have the contact that you had with your personal colleagues)!

Whatever the cause or reason, you now WORK FROM HOME and have Zero interaction with your colleagues!

Wasn't it what you DREAMED of?

Wasn't it what you WANTED?

NOW that you got it, it wasn't EXACTLY what you thought it was going to be, now was it??

Let me tell you, based from experience and being alienated (by working from home), it's not all that great!!

Once again, think about what you want, WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!

The SECRET works in mysterious ways!

You will get what you really want. But in the end, is this/that what you really want?

Think about, try it out and then REALLY WISH what it is that YOU really want!

Trust me, the SECRET really does work!

JMB

P.S. The MONEY Isnt' Everything!

I've worked at home since 1992, and the answer to your question is "no". I think in some part it is based on your personality type. Some of us need other people around and some of us are content to sit alone and think. I'm one of the latter and find it difficult to really think clearly when someone else is around.

Wow what a great thread. There's no doubt we socialize far less as a people than we did 20 years ago. I think that's why there is such a mass migration to the social networks like there is. People ae just plain lonely! My wife and I have six kids and I'm always home with them but still I find myself yearning for some other in person socialization. I think we just can't get around the fact that we are all wired for social interaction and unless we get plenty of it we'll get lonesome in no time flat.

I actually love being alone. I'm much more productive when I'm alone

Nope. I've made a lot of great friends thanks to the internet and "in person" socialization holds no appeal to me. Message boards and MSN are more than enough.

Yes, that happens quite often!

Then I remember what it was like getting up early day after day, 9-5 in an office to line the pockets of someone else.

So, I try to find other ways of being social. I sign up for local university classes, go to the gym, do sports, travel or just try to hang out with friends and family.

I am a bit of an extrovert introvert, so I don't mind spending time by myself, but I go crazy if I don't talk to people during the day.

I always go to Coffee shops to get my work done.

I had a home office when in the mortgage business and it was cool working from home at first, but then it drove me nuts

The funny thing about this profession is a lot of my friends call me up for happy hr and what not because they think "Mark doesn't have a job...so he'll be able to go out with us" lol

While I do miss the office atmosphere, I DO NOT miss working for someone else

So the best part about this is it frees and allows us the flexibility to see our friends and loved ones more

I make an effort, and the key word here is effort, to stay in touch with my former co-workers...I am actually having lunch with one today

So maybe if you are feeling like that, maybe you could invite one of your old co-workers to lunch...I am sure they would love to hear from ya

-Mark

Interestingly enough, I can't work at home all by myself without any noise. I usually work from starbucks!

I find that chaos around me helps me focus on what I'm doing.

What in the world kind of topic is this? Ha ha, no I never get lonely I always have a lot of imaginary friends with which to talk.

I find myself having conversations with the dog occasionally....

IM's not the most social of businesses.

Hi Barb,
I tend to be a hermit these days toiling away on my computer.

I have had friends who work from home and we made appointments to do lunch once a week. However its not easy to find people in your own town who have the same flexibility we do.

I find I really need to meet up with a human whos not my family once in a while.
Di

All the time.

I sit here in my basement of my folks house and just wonder what Im' doing sometimes. It can get really depressing, no matter what way you slice it.

And the added drama of certain people in my life just doesn't make it better. But I'm still going ot take action, start making my living, and becoming the person I Really want to be.

I have no other choice, I can't wait for people to notice me if I'm in a basement all the time.

I won't be able to find the woman of my dreams either, lol.

Never.

I've always had tons of friends to keep me entertained. Things are never boring - my wonderful, super-eccentric boyfriend and love of my life sees to that on a day-to-day basis >

I always find something to do, or an excuse to get out of the house.

Loneliness is a choice.

Yes, on occasion I have felt a bit "isolated" from the world out there, sitting in front of the computer with no-one to talk to for hours upon hours every day.

That's why I NEED to go out every evening once the job is done for the day, just to get some fresh air and to talk to some 3-dimensional people. Almost every evening I phone call any of my buddies at around 7pm screaming: "dude, if you pull me out of my apartment I pay the first round of beers!". Luckily for me, there's always someone willing to take up on the offer

Those evening breaks (beers with friends, cinema with girlfriend, a downtown walk, etc) help me stay sane and in touch with reality. But all in all yeah, this is a job in which it's easy to isolate yourself if you're not carefully leaving some free time for yourself. I know I made that mistake in the past and there would be entire weeks in which I wouldn't step out of the apartment!

Hey,

Have to say i quite enjoy it.

Its peaceful and never i feel lonely at all until just, when i read this lol

I do look forward to the kids coming home from school though cause there is always an exciting story they have to tell me at 100mph

Chunkynuts

I can understand your lonliness. I got an assistant and she comes to the office for 4 hours per day, every weekday. The rest of the time.. I'm alone - so I joined some networking groups, I make plans with friends, and go to the gym.. so that's how I get my interaction.
Plus I go to events - where I meet even more people. I'm a social cat.

I have people ask me that all the time and the answer is "no" but no one seems to believe me. I LOVE working at home and being alone. In fact, I never really feel "alone" when I'm online anyway.

I find the internet to be one of the most entertaining and social places on earth. If I want a break or a laugh, the sky's the limit here.

I'm more productive than I've ever been in my life. I'm comfortable and I'm free. You know, I'm only filling up my gas tank in my car every 3 weeks or so? that's unreal.

Barb,

You can join women's groups that meet for breakfast, lunch or evening socislly. It will get you out of the house; you'll be happier which will make you more productive.