Critique my site please

1. Improve images. All of them ... Hire a graphic artist to create a header, order button, softwarebox guide etc (Look in WSO section. you will find some nice deals)

2. Black background? nah ... Change it to another bright color (based on your graphics).

Just my two cents.

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Being brutally honest is ok but we all could use a pat on the back once in awhile. For your first attempt I think you did a fine job. However, if I was to make a suggestion it would be to increase the text size. This observation is obviously not from an expert as I am quite new to IM, it comes from someone who looks at your site (a possible customer) and thinks "man I wish that was a little larger, it's hard to read". Just my opinion.

Hey EmpoweredCreator,

You did a fine job, sometimes just getting something created can be the biggest task. Now you can improve from here. There's a couple things I would recommend changing up-

1. The header image -- it might be in your best interest to hire out the header design, and maybe even the order buttons + software box design. If you have Photoshop you can still do it on your own, just see what some other people are doing, and get ideas from them.

2. The font -- Instead of using a font like Times New Roman, I'd recommend a sans-serif font like Arial or Verdana.

3. White space -- You might want to bring your text in just a little bit more, and increase the padding size.

4. Background -- Now I'm not exactly positive that black won't work, but I would recommend split-testing it with a white background or maybe even a gray background.

Those are just a few things I would recommend split-testing/changing, just my $.02.

~D.C.

Strong color around content attracts attention and makes people lose focus on the most important thing: your copy.

All design elements should work for your copy, not against it.

Tyrus

Yeah the images definitely need a bit of TLC, but I also agree with jkiley. There are so many sites online that follow this same exact format that are scams. You may want to consider trying to differentiate yourself from these folks.

1. Hire a designer or something to do your ecovers, headers etc...

2. try using white or navy blue background

3. reduce the width of the text area, there's just too many words per line

4. Try using a custom made order button, looks more professional

5. Split test your prices, $27 might work better

6. Add a privacy policy and a disclaimer at the bottom of the website

7. If I was you I would go more specific on the headline...yours is just too broad. Identify what type of person would want that and give them some facts. "Make X in X days" , "Start earning in X days" etc..

No No No1 I like Times New Roman!

Yes, congrats for getting started. Keep going.

MAIN PROBLEM: Lack of credibility.
What should reader believe you?
Why you instead of someone else?
Photos of receipts? Things you've bought?

You don't have to claim 'nowhere else!' - again lacks credibility.
There's heaps of people on this forum doing great and you know it!

Good effort mate, and congratulations for stepping up!
but you could use a better layout.
The page looks a bit scattered...
maybe a header and footer, just to consolidate the page...
The font looks wrong also, have to agree with Bill. Try Arial. Easier on the eyes. Also watch the length of the text lines and the proximity to the edge of the page.
The boxes that you use seem to overpower the text. They actually distract from the writing...
The BIGGEST problem though, is that you have ONE buy button in the ENTIRE page mate! You need to remind your visitor to take action, time and time again... make it obvious...
PM if you need some help with the graphics.

Thanks to everyone to taking the time out of your busy day to help me with my site. I knew I needed to change something about the site but I just didn't know where to start.

Something just kept bothering me and I had asked a few close friends to take a look at it and tell me what they thought but they were of now help due to not wanting to hurt my feelings.

This is a business and it's needs to be profitable or I need to move onto an different product or service. Thanks to everyone on this thread and jkiley's thread. You have all helped me to see it in a different light.

I'll have the changes made by next week sometime, so if you get a chance stop by the site next week and see if I've nailed what you all were getting at. Thanks again for the help and advice!

Aside from the advice to improve the site design (which most already pointed out, anyway), you'll also need to work on your sales copy. I've read the entire thing and, to be honest, I'm not sold on it. I'm a relative newbie myself so I can't exactly tell what you'll need to do to fix it, but I'll advise hiring a good copywriter to give it a makeover. If you want to have a go at it yourself instead of hiring someone to do it, I'm sure there are some good guides out there (and in here).

PS: On the subject of sales copies, this parody is both amusing and informative. It's a parody, but it's using formulas that are known to work well.

Congratulations on taking that first step. Many people never get this far.

Here are a few ideas.
It almost looks like you have two header banners when one would do. And I would have a main headline with a subheadline instead of an entire monitor screen of headlines making me have to scroll down before I found any info.
Also I would make all the ebook covers in the left hand column the same size.
Make your sig smaller.
Include an order button at the top of the page as well, for those that come to your site ready to buy. That way you don't lose the sale if they get frustrated wondering where the order button is.

You will find you will be tempted to make a number of changes even after you are 'satisfied' with the site look. Tip: Try to keep a record of changes and how they affect the conversation on the site.

Good luck and Keep at It!

Ok. First... empoweredcreator, anonymity is good, but it sure would be nice to know who to address this to... Joe? Peter? Jack? rather than your username.

About your site. Several things that might help you:

1) Make your main box with your content around 650 pixels wide. That seems to be the ideal size for keeping your text width narrower. If you're using a table for this, as I do, set it for a wide "table spacing", like 20 px. This will bring your text in from the edges of the table, making the lines even shorter and therefore, much easier to read.

2) Replace that red banner "empowered creators" as it is a) very poor quality and b) has nothing to do with your message. At first, I thought that was a car mechanic but it might be a chauffer? Still, it doesn't work.

3) Change your opening lines to something more attention-grabbing, something like, "Toss The Boss! Make money on your own terms working from home. You can do it, as many have. We'll show you how". Or play around with the benefits of working from home... "Imagine! Work till Noon... Shop for your dream car After Noon."

4) Shorten up the extra spaces between blocks... ie: after the headline and before your photo

5) Change font size more often... 14-18 point for sub headings and important headings. As it is now, the font is the same size throughout, except for your main heading.

6) Reduce the width on your inside box with the story, make the red border thinner (no more than 2 pt but you really only need 1 point) as right now it's just distracting), and again increase the spacing around your text within the box by boosting the cell spacing to around 20 pixels.

7) Someone mentioned small font size - I've test in IE and Firefox and Firefox makes things much smaller. 10 point looks like 6 point in Firefox, bvut it looks like 10 in IE. So text at 12 point seems to work fine with both browsers.

8) Ignore the comment to use Times Roman. It's well known that straight fonts (like Arial) are much easier to read online than curly fonts (like Times Roman). Only use Times Roman in short pieces, like a testimonial or a line quote.

9) Your ebook/CD cover is not very good quality and this will have a detrimental effect on your conversions. Have a pro do it for you, and then make it smaller as the one you're using is really bigger than it needs to be.

10) Long lines are difficult to follow and comprehend. So are long sentences. Any sentence that is longer than about 15-25 words should be reduced or turned into two sentences. That will not only make it easier to read, but it will add punch to your delivery. Short, punchy sentences are good... when spaced well throughout longer sentences.

11) I haven't read all your text, but from what I did read, it looks like there's a lot of work to be done in making it more exciting... it needs to appeal to your reader's emotions and wants. Get to the core of why they would really love to have your product and learn what it teaches.

It's getting increasingly difficult to be original because many sites offering internet wealth / work from home products use the same techniques: ie: listing things like, that new car, your dream vacation, etc. but clearly that's what makes people buy.

Still, try to be original anyway by coming up with other things... like, spend more leisure time with your family - take picnics when you want, take a fun class of some sort together, play with your children when you want to, rest when you want so you can enjoy your family when it's convenient for all of you, spend your afternoons on the golf course with your buddies or just improving your game, take that class you've always wanted to do, put more time into your community... that sort of thing.

Overall, you have a good base to work from.

Hope this helps.

Sylvia

I thought it looked pretty decent. Once you've made all the changes as already suggested it'll rock!!

If this is your first draft you have some simple steps to follow. Sylviad hit most of the points on the head....

Could use more graphics about firing your boss.......where's the "wow" factor and what sets this product apart from others?

Couple of thoughts here...

As has been pointed out before...the reason that sites with that general theme keep popping up is that they make money for the creators. Sites and tactics that you or I may not like, or may see right through, work. They are profitable. There are new people pouring into the IM market every day and they will look at these sites and be convinced and buy the products. That's why these sites are out there.

As for the site we were asked to critique...all of the comments here have been dead on, it does need a lot of work, but the number one question in my mind...is the site owner telling the truth? When I read it, and especially when I read it and see him on here asking for a critique...my thought is...he doesn't know enough about IM to write a good sales page, he doesn't earn enough money to hire someone professional to design a good sales page...so is he REALLY making good money from the system that he is telling other people to buy?

That's just one of my biggest issues with IM - people selling systems that don't work, or that they haven't tested themselves.

terrible fonts

bad design

needs paragraphs

text is all over the place

...

i would say it doesnt look much professional and also the fonr size is small..

i dont know exactly why, but it seems like the pages look unfinished. maybe because of the high contrast of the black background, and very white page. they dont come together, and u could use more graphics in there. more moving ads, or arrows,. and I am not so fond of italized fonts. to me they dont look professional.
goodluck

I've given everyone on here a thanks because I really appreciate everyone taking their time out of their day to help me with my business. I think that's awesome and really says something about the IM Industry. Where else would your competitors give you tips on how to make things better?!

Everyone Thanks and Make it a Great One!

The graphics are a little funky on firefox, and I would switch up the background to something other than black.

And the boxes show up as a kind of maroon red on my computer, might be worth looking into, I am not a huge fan of the color, but now I am just speaking from personal taste haha.

No, but really, do something about the graphics!

I'm using firefox3.0 on a mac.

This text is pink... or if not pink a flamboyant red:
Now it's Your Turn to Work From Home - Start down the path to Freedom TODAY!


A lot of the boxes also are the same color.