Critique my site please

33 replies
I've finished my site and now I'm looking for some experienced marketers to let me know how it looks and what I may need to change to help it convert a little bit better.

Internet Marketing Secrets | Work From Home | Make Money Online

Brutal Honesty is definitely appreciated
#critique #site
  • Profile picture of the author radhika
    1. Improve images. All of them ... Hire a graphic artist to create a header, order button, softwarebox guide etc (Look in WSO section. you will find some nice deals)

    2. Black background? nah ... Change it to another bright color (based on your graphics).

    Just my two cents.

    .
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  • Profile picture of the author dlwebb610
    Being brutally honest is ok but we all could use a pat on the back once in awhile. For your first attempt I think you did a fine job. However, if I was to make a suggestion it would be to increase the text size. This observation is obviously not from an expert as I am quite new to IM, it comes from someone who looks at your site (a possible customer) and thinks "man I wish that was a little larger, it's hard to read". Just my opinion.
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  • Profile picture of the author DrewG
    Hey EmpoweredCreator,

    You did a fine job, sometimes just getting something created can be the biggest task. Now you can improve from here. There's a couple things I would recommend changing up-

    1. The header image -- it might be in your best interest to hire out the header design, and maybe even the order buttons + software box design. If you have Photoshop you can still do it on your own, just see what some other people are doing, and get ideas from them.

    2. The font -- Instead of using a font like Times New Roman, I'd recommend a sans-serif font like Arial or Verdana.

    3. White space -- You might want to bring your text in just a little bit more, and increase the padding size.

    4. Background -- Now I'm not exactly positive that black won't work, but I would recommend split-testing it with a white background or maybe even a gray background.

    Those are just a few things I would recommend split-testing/changing, just my $.02.

    ~D.C.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tyrus Antas
    Strong color around content attracts attention and makes people lose focus on the most important thing: your copy.

    All design elements should work for your copy, not against it.

    Tyrus
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  • Profile picture of the author SmartTeenager
    Yeah the images definitely need a bit of TLC, but I also agree with jkiley. There are so many sites online that follow this same exact format that are scams. You may want to consider trying to differentiate yourself from these folks.
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  • Profile picture of the author Marian Berghes
    1. Hire a designer or something to do your ecovers, headers etc...

    2. try using white or navy blue background

    3. reduce the width of the text area, there's just too many words per line

    4. Try using a custom made order button, looks more professional

    5. Split test your prices, $27 might work better

    6. Add a privacy policy and a disclaimer at the bottom of the website

    7. If I was you I would go more specific on the headline...yours is just too broad. Identify what type of person would want that and give them some facts. "Make X in X days" , "Start earning in X days" etc..
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    • Profile picture of the author wbakhos
      Hey great feedback. Great constructive feedback for the guy.

      Originally Posted by Marian Berghes View Post

      1. Hire a designer or something to do your ecovers, headers etc...

      2. try using white or navy blue background

      3. reduce the width of the text area, there's just too many words per line

      4. Try using a custom made order button, looks more professional

      5. Split test your prices, $27 might work better

      6. Add a privacy policy and a disclaimer at the bottom of the website

      7. If I was you I would go more specific on the headline...yours is just too broad. Identify what type of person would want that and give them some facts. "Make X in X days" , "Start earning in X days" etc..
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  • Profile picture of the author BillOliver
    No No No1 I like Times New Roman!

    Yes, congrats for getting started. Keep going.

    MAIN PROBLEM: Lack of credibility.
    What should reader believe you?
    Why you instead of someone else?
    Photos of receipts? Things you've bought?

    You don't have to claim 'nowhere else!' - again lacks credibility.
    There's heaps of people on this forum doing great and you know it!
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    Bill Oliver (B.Bus. Banking & Finance, Computing)
    Sales Writer/Marketing Coach, Resume: www.billoliver.net
    NICHES: Financial Sector, Sales & Services, Brick & Mortar SMEs.
    btw I'm an Australian living in Malaysia & a 1978 Fiat X1/9 owner.
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    • Profile picture of the author robson9776
      Hi,

      I've sent you PM, please check it out... ;-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Pat Ordenes
    Good effort mate, and congratulations for stepping up!
    but you could use a better layout.
    The page looks a bit scattered...
    maybe a header and footer, just to consolidate the page...
    The font looks wrong also, have to agree with Bill. Try Arial. Easier on the eyes. Also watch the length of the text lines and the proximity to the edge of the page.
    The boxes that you use seem to overpower the text. They actually distract from the writing...
    The BIGGEST problem though, is that you have ONE buy button in the ENTIRE page mate! You need to remind your visitor to take action, time and time again... make it obvious...
    PM if you need some help with the graphics.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Strong
    Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author EmpoweredCreator
      Originally Posted by James Strong View Post

      It looks pretty bad to be honest.

      Not professional at all.

      The font is too small and the colors are inconsistent.

      Too much empty space, too.

      Sorry, but that's how I feel about the site.
      changing only these things would keep it from looking pretty bad? That's not a whole lot to go on here but thanks for taking the time to check it out give your feedback. I really do appreciate it.
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      • Profile picture of the author JP Wilson
        You've been given some very constructive advice here my friend. But there are 3 things that I would change/add to your site straight off the bat:

        1) Add a personalized video message! Even the most unattractive/basic-looking of pages can be immensely helped by the addition of a very brief yet personal video message which effectively summarizes the offer and illustrates you as a "real" person and not some anonymous marketing machine that's been setup solely to "steal" the customer's money.

        2) Test your paypal order button against the ones seen in the following two threads:

        Button 1

        Button 2

        3) Add testimonials and/or client feedback! Social Proof is soooo dramatically important. If this is a new offer, consider opening a thread which offers your product to marketers for free in an attempt to acquire authentic and quality testimonials. As it stands, you have virtually no social proof whatsoever. So if someone is seriously considering purchasing your product, they still may feel that there is a strong amount of risk attached, and therefore be extremely reluctant.

        I hope this helps EC. Take care and good luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author EmpoweredCreator
    Thanks to everyone to taking the time out of your busy day to help me with my site. I knew I needed to change something about the site but I just didn't know where to start.

    Something just kept bothering me and I had asked a few close friends to take a look at it and tell me what they thought but they were of now help due to not wanting to hurt my feelings.

    This is a business and it's needs to be profitable or I need to move onto an different product or service. Thanks to everyone on this thread and jkiley's thread. You have all helped me to see it in a different light.

    I'll have the changes made by next week sometime, so if you get a chance stop by the site next week and see if I've nailed what you all were getting at. Thanks again for the help and advice!
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  • Profile picture of the author deskmonkey
    Aside from the advice to improve the site design (which most already pointed out, anyway), you'll also need to work on your sales copy. I've read the entire thing and, to be honest, I'm not sold on it. I'm a relative newbie myself so I can't exactly tell what you'll need to do to fix it, but I'll advise hiring a good copywriter to give it a makeover. If you want to have a go at it yourself instead of hiring someone to do it, I'm sure there are some good guides out there (and in here).

    PS: On the subject of sales copies, this parody is both amusing and informative. It's a parody, but it's using formulas that are known to work well.
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  • Profile picture of the author new2ebiz
    Congratulations on taking that first step. Many people never get this far.

    Here are a few ideas.
    It almost looks like you have two header banners when one would do. And I would have a main headline with a subheadline instead of an entire monitor screen of headlines making me have to scroll down before I found any info.
    Also I would make all the ebook covers in the left hand column the same size.
    Make your sig smaller.
    Include an order button at the top of the page as well, for those that come to your site ready to buy. That way you don't lose the sale if they get frustrated wondering where the order button is.

    You will find you will be tempted to make a number of changes even after you are 'satisfied' with the site look. Tip: Try to keep a record of changes and how they affect the conversation on the site.

    Good luck and Keep at It!
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  • Profile picture of the author sylviad
    Ok. First... empoweredcreator, anonymity is good, but it sure would be nice to know who to address this to... Joe? Peter? Jack? rather than your username.

    About your site. Several things that might help you:

    1) Make your main box with your content around 650 pixels wide. That seems to be the ideal size for keeping your text width narrower. If you're using a table for this, as I do, set it for a wide "table spacing", like 20 px. This will bring your text in from the edges of the table, making the lines even shorter and therefore, much easier to read.

    2) Replace that red banner "empowered creators" as it is a) very poor quality and b) has nothing to do with your message. At first, I thought that was a car mechanic but it might be a chauffer? Still, it doesn't work.

    3) Change your opening lines to something more attention-grabbing, something like, "Toss The Boss! Make money on your own terms working from home. You can do it, as many have. We'll show you how". Or play around with the benefits of working from home... "Imagine! Work till Noon... Shop for your dream car After Noon."

    4) Shorten up the extra spaces between blocks... ie: after the headline and before your photo

    5) Change font size more often... 14-18 point for sub headings and important headings. As it is now, the font is the same size throughout, except for your main heading.

    6) Reduce the width on your inside box with the story, make the red border thinner (no more than 2 pt but you really only need 1 point) as right now it's just distracting), and again increase the spacing around your text within the box by boosting the cell spacing to around 20 pixels.

    7) Someone mentioned small font size - I've test in IE and Firefox and Firefox makes things much smaller. 10 point looks like 6 point in Firefox, bvut it looks like 10 in IE. So text at 12 point seems to work fine with both browsers.

    8) Ignore the comment to use Times Roman. It's well known that straight fonts (like Arial) are much easier to read online than curly fonts (like Times Roman). Only use Times Roman in short pieces, like a testimonial or a line quote.

    9) Your ebook/CD cover is not very good quality and this will have a detrimental effect on your conversions. Have a pro do it for you, and then make it smaller as the one you're using is really bigger than it needs to be.

    10) Long lines are difficult to follow and comprehend. So are long sentences. Any sentence that is longer than about 15-25 words should be reduced or turned into two sentences. That will not only make it easier to read, but it will add punch to your delivery. Short, punchy sentences are good... when spaced well throughout longer sentences.

    11) I haven't read all your text, but from what I did read, it looks like there's a lot of work to be done in making it more exciting... it needs to appeal to your reader's emotions and wants. Get to the core of why they would really love to have your product and learn what it teaches.

    It's getting increasingly difficult to be original because many sites offering internet wealth / work from home products use the same techniques: ie: listing things like, that new car, your dream vacation, etc. but clearly that's what makes people buy.

    Still, try to be original anyway by coming up with other things... like, spend more leisure time with your family - take picnics when you want, take a fun class of some sort together, play with your children when you want to, rest when you want so you can enjoy your family when it's convenient for all of you, spend your afternoons on the golf course with your buddies or just improving your game, take that class you've always wanted to do, put more time into your community... that sort of thing.

    Overall, you have a good base to work from.

    Hope this helps.

    Sylvia
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  • Profile picture of the author ztrek
    I thought it looked pretty decent. Once you've made all the changes as already suggested it'll rock!!
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  • Profile picture of the author willz605
    If this is your first draft you have some simple steps to follow. Sylviad hit most of the points on the head....

    Could use more graphics about firing your boss.......where's the "wow" factor and what sets this product apart from others?
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  • Profile picture of the author Dana_W
    Couple of thoughts here...

    As has been pointed out before...the reason that sites with that general theme keep popping up is that they make money for the creators. Sites and tactics that you or I may not like, or may see right through, work. They are profitable. There are new people pouring into the IM market every day and they will look at these sites and be convinced and buy the products. That's why these sites are out there.

    As for the site we were asked to critique...all of the comments here have been dead on, it does need a lot of work, but the number one question in my mind...is the site owner telling the truth? When I read it, and especially when I read it and see him on here asking for a critique...my thought is...he doesn't know enough about IM to write a good sales page, he doesn't earn enough money to hire someone professional to design a good sales page...so is he REALLY making good money from the system that he is telling other people to buy?

    That's just one of my biggest issues with IM - people selling systems that don't work, or that they haven't tested themselves.
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    • Profile picture of the author EmpoweredCreator
      Originally Posted by Dana_W View Post

      As for the site we were asked to critique...all of the comments here have been dead on, it does need a lot of work, but the number one question in my mind...is the site owner telling the truth? When I read it, and especially when I read it and see him on here asking for a critique...my thought is...he doesn't know enough about IM to write a good sales page, he doesn't earn enough money to hire someone professional to design a good sales page...so is he REALLY making good money from the system that he is telling other people to buy?

      Don't know why but I feel a strong impulse to defend myself here and explain a bit. I do make money online through IM, but yes this is my first stab in the dark at making my own site. As far as not practicing what I preach... Well, my product is about teaching people new to IM how they can start their own business with little to no money just to get them started. Everything I am doing now is all going to be included in the product. This was the rough draft and I definitely needed someone to let me know what to fix as I even saw that it just wasn't going to work.

      Most of my expertice in IM is in PPC but a lot people starting out just don't want to fork out 100 USD or so just to see if they can get a return so I thought hey, what if I can teach people to make some money with only spending money on Hosting, autoresponder and some PLR products then I'll have a good solid business I can start with. I created everything on that site with the information in my product. Honestly, if I can't make money this way, that would simply mean I didn't target the right group, nobody bought the product, and I've done no damage. But if I can show people how to truly start a business online with less than $200 in start up costs (that price including the price of my product) then I have a very valuable product, yes?

      I have truly enjoyed hearing from everyone and I am making those changes as we speak. By friday I should have everything fixed and I'll be asking people to again critique it and let me know what else I'm missing then, give my product to a few people to see what they think make changes where needed, then I'm going do some split testing, make changes the split test revealed, go live and market like crazy.

      Thank you all for all of your imput and I look forward to hearing you guys tell me how awesome it looks in a week!
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  • Profile picture of the author Sean Hoffman
    terrible fonts

    bad design

    needs paragraphs

    text is all over the place

    ...
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    • Profile picture of the author Muhammad Hassan
      As above - especially the bit where people are congratulating for actually taking action. A lot of people never take action. You have so you are in a better position then many people well done.

      By taking action with creating the site and asking for a critique you now have knowledge that you can work with to take more action and make things better.

      The top is too busy - 1 header graphic at the top - 1 headline possibly in read - 1 subheading possibly in black and that's it.

      Don't like the red/purple/pink color for the boxes - don't know why - I just don't

      You spend too much time decreasing the price at the bottom. Justify the reason for the price and then give the price. If you want to give a reduction just give the original price and the new price. Reducing too much makes ME think that you've tried at higher price and nobody bought so not good value product.


      When you have the design sorted then you will then needed to ask for a critique about the actual content - at the moment the design is distracting away from the content.
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  • Profile picture of the author pritesh
    i would say it doesnt look much professional and also the fonr size is small..
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  • Profile picture of the author hangtimenino
    i dont know exactly why, but it seems like the pages look unfinished. maybe because of the high contrast of the black background, and very white page. they dont come together, and u could use more graphics in there. more moving ads, or arrows,. and I am not so fond of italized fonts. to me they dont look professional.
    goodluck
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  • Profile picture of the author EmpoweredCreator
    I've given everyone on here a thanks because I really appreciate everyone taking their time out of their day to help me with my business. I think that's awesome and really says something about the IM Industry. Where else would your competitors give you tips on how to make things better?!

    Everyone Thanks and Make it a Great One!
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    • Profile picture of the author 316ex
      Ok Empowered Creator you have gotten a lot of feedback. I really looking forward to see what you do with it. Please post an update when you redo you site.
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    • Profile picture of the author ChrisMarx
      I just checked out the sales page.

      I'm not sure if it shows up on your browser this way, but I'm seeing a lot of PINK!!!

      Grab some site color schemes off another site. Here are a few ideas:
      Color Schemes and Color Palettes - Combo Library - Page 1

      I don't think pink, especially that shade is going to convey the trust and authority you're looking for.

      Bravo for doing it yourself! But your time as a marketer is probably better spent marketing, rather than trying to teach yourself how to be a good designer/coder. Outsource that part of it.
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      Just had my first $200/month with affiliate sales!!! Woohoo!!! :)

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  • Profile picture of the author emorrow23
    The graphics are a little funky on firefox, and I would switch up the background to something other than black.

    And the boxes show up as a kind of maroon red on my computer, might be worth looking into, I am not a huge fan of the color, but now I am just speaking from personal taste haha.

    No, but really, do something about the graphics!
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    • Profile picture of the author sylviad
      Chris,

      Just for empowered's info, I do not see pink. So maybe it's your computer/browser, Chris?

      Empowered, make sure the background in your table is really white. If you accidentally chose a slightly off-white, it could look kinda pink to some people.

      Sylvia
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      • Profile picture of the author sylviad
        Empowered... still not giving us a first name, huh? Too bad. Don't know what you're afraid of.

        But anyway... a quick point. I just noticed that your copyright notice is formatted incorrectly:
        © Copyright EmpoweredCreators.com 2009 - Make Money At Home

        It should go this way:
        Copyright © 2009 EmpoweredCreators.com - Make Money At Home
        or
        Copyright © 2009 EmpoweredCreators.com | Make Money At Home

        Hm. Should I sign with my real name? What the heck! :rolleyes:

        Sylvia
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        • Profile picture of the author EmpoweredCreator
          Originally Posted by sylviad View Post

          Empowered... still not giving us a first name, huh? Too bad. Don't know what you're afraid of.
          I'm not afraid of anything... Well only that maybe you might steal my identity and run up my credit card bills, buy a house I don't want, or rent a party boat and never return it!!

          But what the heck, I'll give it a shot since it's on my website anyway...

          Adam J.P.

          Whew! That wasn't as painful as I thought it would be! I hope this makes us closer friends. LOL

          Thank you all for all of your input and I am already working on the site. I've hired a web designer and the e-books covers are already done. I might even have everything revamped by tomorrow evening. I really appreciate all the support and I'll be looking from some people to help me tweak and rate my product in the very near future.

          Then you guys can really tell me how bad I suck! J.K.
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  • Profile picture of the author ChrisMarx
    I'm using firefox3.0 on a mac.

    This text is pink... or if not pink a flamboyant red:
    Now it's Your Turn to Work From Home - Start down the path to Freedom TODAY!


    A lot of the boxes also are the same color.
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    Just had my first $200/month with affiliate sales!!! Woohoo!!! :)

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    • Profile picture of the author sylviad
      Originally Posted by ChrisMarx View Post

      I'm using firefox3.0 on a mac.

      This text is pink... or if not pink a flamboyant red:
      Now it's Your Turn to Work From Home - Start down the path to Freedom TODAY!


      A lot of the boxes also are the same color.
      To me, it looks the same color as it is here. I suppose it could be considered pink. To me it's still an ugly color - more like a blood red than the exciting red that everyone else uses.

      Sylvia
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