Please is there a kindly experienced warrior who can point out, just exactly what I have done wrong?

7 replies
(Because I have not posted before, I could not put up a web address, so I got my mate John Wilkes to post this for me.)
UPDATE:6 June 09

Thank you so much for the advice. As you can see from the link we are already putting your helpful suggestions into practice.
Best wishes


I have been watching and learning here for a few weeks and I was hoping that some of the more experienced Warriors would help me out.

I have written this great ebook, I have gone to the expense of putting it on Clickbank, there are affiliates trying to sell it, and after all this effort all I have sold is a few copies.

PLEASE can someone point out what I have done wrong, it is not just about the money, I truly believe that this manual will help people and the planet.

In the last 30 days I have had 129 affiliates 557 hops but only 5 sales, I am offering 50% commission on a 60 page book that sells for $12

Here is the sales page

D.I.Y. Wormery Manual

Please if you spare the time, could you check it out for me?

Have I made some fundamental mistake with my sales page? there are also people visiting from articles I have posted as well but nobody buying.

#experienced #kindly #point #warrior #wrong
  • Profile picture of the author Mohsin Rasool

    I am not copywriter so I cannot say much about copy...

    But when i first read your post, here is something comes into my mind.
    If i were selling this... first of all i try more than $12 price point.. as sometime
    market just think it is low price, must be low quality....

    have you thought of raising the price, or have you tested other prices points...
    also consider at what pricing points your competition is selling his/her stuff. And
    try to match your price point to them and test, and measure if it improves the conversions.

    Just a little tip you may benefit from...

    Mohsin Rasool
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  • Profile picture of the author SteveJohnson
    First, using your real name instead of a 'handle' will induce more people to help. Personally, I'd like to know who I'm talking with - and it ain't "Greenjackdavey".

    Second, your sales page needs quite a bit of work. If you can't afford to have one written for you, you'll probably need to study up on effective sales page techniques and general copywriting - not to mention grammar and spelling, including proper punctuation and capitalization.

    The market you're going after (socially- and environmentally-conscious middle-age suburbanites, or something close, I would imagine) tend to be a sophisticated bunch and will probably react adversely to poor grammatical structure in your sales copy.

    Beyond that, you're not doing much to induce any excitement.

    Also, you might think about raising the price at least to the $17 mark (do some testing, of course). If your book is as good as you say it is, then it's worth it. You'll have the added advantage of a little higher aff commission, which might induce more people to promote it.

    The 2nd Amendment, 1789 - The Original Homeland Security.

    Gun control means never having to say, "I missed you."

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  • Profile picture of the author Linda Van Fleet
    Okay - you asked for it!

    -- > The sales page is lacking in focus - Will this book teach people how to compost or how to raise worms for profit? I would put more emphasis on the main theme of the book and build up that aspect, using the other theme as a "sub plot".

    --> The heading "DIY Wormery Manual" has no appeal. As a prospective buyer, I would click away from the page because the heading doesn't draw me in.

    --> I would break up the copy with bold headings and bullet points - people don't like to read ... they skim, looking for highlighted points.

    --> You have a link at the top of the page that takes your visitor away from your sales page. Either kill the link or put an order link on that page as well.

    --> One more thing - using more than 2 colors for fonts is not recommended for sales letters. Red and black are good - the green color is not.

    Just my 2cents. I am not an expert, just opinionated .

    Seriously, though, I suggest you get a professional copywriter to create a new sales page - or maybe 2 sales pages for split testing. Examples: Sales page 1: focus on making money, Sales page 2: focus on composting (green).

    Good luck!

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  • Profile picture of the author Troy_Phillips
    The rainbow must go

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  • Profile picture of the author Harry Behrens
    I can tell you immediately to improve both the header text AND header graphic. An empty colored header would be better than that. You can get a tip for making a halfway-nice header here:

    Also the book graphic itself does not give me any confidence, nor does the Buy button. Here's a much better buy button you can use:

    Sadly I can't get into the copy right now as I have no time (I shouldn't be on here in the first place), but I'll try to swing by tomorrow and give a more in-depth opinion.

    For now just try to think, what *PROBLEM* or *NEED* do people have that wormery can fix or ease? Of course it's good to think of saving the world, and saving a little money, and helping out my family and friends a bit, but they're not NEEDS that I have. Also don't be all over the place like that... focus on one hot, real problem or need above anything else at the beginning.

    - Harry Behrens

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  • Profile picture of the author John Wilkes
    Thank you all so much for your help, I am taking all your comments on board and really do appreciate you taking the time.

    Mohsin : My friend I would never of thought of raising the price because it is not selling! There is food for thought.

    Steve Johnson: Point taken, I am 55 and have been gardening since I left school at 14, I will have to get some help with my grammar. The name is a contraction of "greenjack", from taking part in the Mayday celebrations hereabouts and "Davey". All the other names floating about are the kind lads that are helping me.

    Linda : Feel a bit silly now you have pointed it out, just assumed people would find worms as interesting as I do. Will have to work through your comments, one by one, there goes my Saturday afternoon!

    Troy : Those mushrooms be bad for thee, son.

    Harry: Thank you so much for your advice and the link., Venezuela who would have thought it, you get everyone here don't you.

    Like What I have to say here on the forum? Check out my primary blog.
    Healthy Profits - Green PLR

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