Which Come First? Work Vs Family

by jhongren 38 replies
Hi Warrior,

I have this problem lately.

I spend lots of time on Warrior Forum, up to 6 hours online reading through the great posts.

I still have my online websites and sales pages to meddle with. And that take up another few hours of my time.

Not forgetting I am working full time from 9am to 6pm.

When I am at home, I really need to juggle the balance between time with my business and time with my wife.

It is not an easy task, especially there is always a big temptation switching on my laptop and go online.

Today, I have to make a promise to myself.

Night time is for my family.

Weekends as well.

I know it is not easy. But I am making a change now.

Cheers,
John
#main internet marketing discussion forum #family #work
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  • Profile picture of the author JasonKing
    Originally Posted by jhongren View Post

    I spend lots of time on Warrior Forum, up to 6 hours online reading through the great posts.
    1/3 of your waking day.. Ouch...
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  • Profile picture of the author sparrow
    Its the glass of water half full or half empty

    what comes first is providing for your family,

    if you are spending 6 hours here in the warrior forum instead of spending with your family this maybe a issue

    but if your spending time working putting food on the table then your taking care of your familys needs

    Ed
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeremy Kelsall
    Originally Posted by ioppp View Post

    tricks of money-
    earnbox.info

    Hopefully, it is not long until you are banned. You have left the same stupid comment in 2 or 3 threads now.

    John,

    It is definitely a fine line. Occasionally, my significant other will get upset with the amount of time I spend in my marketing efforts. However, I tell her all the time, in the beginning I am going to have to spend a lot of time getting everything set up and going so that eventually I can afford to outsource everything.

    To make it up to her, I will set aside at least 1 whole night a week to go out to dinner or even to just rent a couple of movies and then chill out on the couch without even touching the computer.

    Like I said, it is definitely a fine line.
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    • Profile picture of the author TimS
      I do this full time and I find that I am here at the computer if I am at home. What it is for me, is being able to recognize when I am about to (or have already) crossed that fine line. When I am here alone, I try to do what I would normally do. When I work with my wife here, I only do things that are super-productive.

      Tim
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    • Profile picture of the author Neil Morgan
      Are work and family separate? Like everyone else, I work to provide for my family and our lifestyle. It's just that I choose to do it this way, not working for someone else.

      I have a separate office out of the home. I don't work weekends (apart from checking emails now and again).

      Yes, I work long hours during the working week, and I'm doing that to give my wife and kids a nice life. Sure, I enjoy it and that's a bonus but I'm not going to feel guilty about that.

      My wife doesn't work. We have a lovely home. The kids are happy.

      I work MUCH harder now than I ever did for Corporate UK. But I enjoy it much, much more, we have a nicer lifestyle AND I can take off whatever time I want, whenever I want.

      Hard work isn't a bad thing as long as you remember why you're doing it.

      Cheers,

      Neil
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    • Profile picture of the author TheRichJerksNet
      Very well said sparrow, I could not agree more.. I spend 15 - 18 hours a day online running my business and most of it is working. I also take a day off here and there and take the wife out and spend time with her.

      James
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      • Profile picture of the author peteinoz
        Hey John,

        Just read your post mate..

        Get this book from Amazon

        Sounds like it will suit your situation perfectly..

        Im 1/2 through reading it and its brilliant..

        "4 hour work week"

        hard cover is about $12

        Cheers

        Pete
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        • Profile picture of the author jhongren
          Originally Posted by peteinoz View Post

          Hey John,

          Just read your post mate..

          Get this book from Amazon

          Sounds like it will suit your situation perfectly..

          Im 1/2 through reading it and its brilliant..

          "4 hour work week"

          hard cover is about $12

          Cheers

          Pete
          Hey Pete,

          I am also thinking of this book. I have read it in fact but seemed like I have yet to internalise it.

          Which part of the book do you recommend I read again?

          Cheers,
          John
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          • Profile picture of the author peteinoz
            Very hard to Say John,

            Firstly all of it and this time take notes, on what parts you can actually impliment in your life..


            If your goal is to work from home..


            then increasing your online income is obviously the goal.

            Then you can get to spend as much time with your family as I do and still put in as many or little hours as you like..

            I just like his overall NR strategies. in terms of automation and outsourcing.

            He has some very very insightful tips on how to outsource and how to qualify these virtual assistants.

            I have established companies and outsource a lot and work from home and have done for the last 13 years.

            His goals are more travelling and experiencing new things.. Ive done a lot of that already and now my goals are the same though focusing on my family.

            Your in a great position to be able to now come up with a business strategy that fits in with his principles..


            hth's

            Pete
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            • Profile picture of the author Richard Tunnah
              Originally Posted by peteinoz View Post

              Very hard to Say John,

              Firstly all of it and this time take notes, on what parts you can actually impliment in your life..


              If your goal is to work from home..


              then increasing your online income is obviously the goal.

              Then you can get to spend as much time with your family as I do and still put in as many or little hours as you like..

              I just like his overall NR strategies. in terms of automation and outsourcing.

              He has some very very insightful tips on how to outsource and how to qualify these virtual assistants.

              I have established companies and outsource a lot and work from home and have done for the last 13 years.

              His goals are more travelling and experiencing new things.. Ive done a lot of that already and now my goals are the same though focusing on my family.

              Your in a great position to be able to now come up with a business strategy that fits in with his principles..


              hth's

              Pete
              Interesting post Pete. It's hard at times to find good outsourcers but definitely worth it once you do. I think theres little point having successful businesses if you have no time to enjoy he benefits of them.

              Rich

              ps. I presume that's 'daddies apple' in your avator?
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              • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
                My family comes first...which means my work comes first.

                Those who get it...get it.
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              • Profile picture of the author peteinoz
                Originally Posted by richt1971 View Post

                Interesting post Pete. It's hard at times to find good outsourcers but definitely worth it once you do. I think theres little point having successful businesses if you have no time to enjoy he benefits of them.

                Rich

                ps. I presume that's 'daddies apple' in your avator?
                Heya Rich

                sure is mate

                see my photo gallery to see her grown up now.. and her baby sister

                re outsourcing I blogged about it 12 months ago for anyone interested

                How to find a good programmer or web developer | Peter Drew

                though in the 4 hour work week, which I strongly recommend, he provides excellent resources and strategies in choosing your Virtual Assistants.

                cheers

                pete
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                • Profile picture of the author Scott Ames
                  I know what you mean. I have the opposite problem. I don't get enough computer time because I'm doing stuff for my family.

                  There has to be a balance somewhere.
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                  • Profile picture of the author JamieBing
                    It is a very hard balancing act. One thought...

                    How many people are laying on their deathbed and say " I wish I would have worked more hours and spent less time with my family"? When you choose to miss out on things with the family... and it happens to us all... be sure it is worth it.

                    Yes, we all have to provide for our family but we also have to be part of the family. Speaking from personal experience... it can all be for nothing if you forget about your family's needs for your personal attention.

                    Good luck with it... it does take lots of work to find the balance.
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                    • Profile picture of the author Heather Bestel
                      Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves why we do this type of work. It's easy to slip into the habit of working long hours without breaks or time with our families.

                      It's a balancing act that takes some working at, but with the right frame of mind, we can all enjoy the fruits of our labour.

                      We (me, my husband Peter and daughter) have recently downshifted to the the middle of nowhere to enjoy a better quality of life and to work from home full time.

                      We make sure we set aside time everyday to spend together. We put our daughter on the school bus at 8am and then hold our business meetings while walking the dog. We sit down at our computers at 9am and we step away from the computer at 4pm when our daughter comes home from school and we enjoy 'family time' with her. At 8pm she goes to bed and we can get back to work for a few hours or book time together to watch a movie.

                      We live and work together 24/7 so we have had to learn to get the balance right. It's well worth the effort and we enjoy life together now far more than we ever have.

                      regards

                      Heather
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                      • Profile picture of the author Peter Bestel
                        Originally Posted by Heather Bestel View Post

                        We sit down at our computers at 9am and we step away from the computer at 4pm when our daughter comes home from school
                        Heather

                        What about the constant supply of cups of tea* and subsequent toilet breaks?

                        Peter

                        * Speaking of which...
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                        • Profile picture of the author Ricky Ticky Toc
                          i feel the same im only 19 i should be going out on the weekends getting laid drinking and getting up to mischief lol, but ever since Ive got into IM it seems to have cut down to every other weekend, when i do go out i always get "where you been" "you need to get off your computer" but they wont be saying that in a year or so when i can finally work for myself and earning more then i do at my day job hmm one day
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  • Profile picture of the author Simon_Sezs
    Originally Posted by jhongren View Post

    Hi Warrior,

    I have this problem lately.

    I spend lots of time on Warrior Forum, up to 6 hours online reading through the great posts.

    I still have my online websites and sales pages to meddle with. And that take up another few hours of my time.

    Not forgetting I am working full time from 9am to 6pm.

    When I am at home, I really need to juggle the balance between time with my business and time with my wife.

    It is not an easy task, especially there is always a big temptation switching on my laptop and go online.

    Today, I have to make a promise to myself.

    Night time is for my family.

    Weekends as well.

    I know it is not easy. But I am making a change now.

    Cheers,
    John
    Hi John,

    I had this very same problem except I took it to the nth degree. I was working 12+ hours a day 7 days a week and it was really starting to wear real thin on my family and home life.

    A couple months ago, I dropped my time down to 3-4 hours a day, 5 days a week, with one of the weekend days where I wouldn't touch a computer.

    It was hard but there is so much more to life than the online world. And amazingly, I actually am more productive and making more money. Just wanted to let you know that you can work things out without sacrificing those that you love.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tony_D
      [DELETED]
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      • Profile picture of the author bartlock
        Always family first.
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      • Profile picture of the author jhongren
        Originally Posted by Tony_D View Post

        John,

        I feel your pain man. My girlfriend and I are both working full time engineering jobs and doing other things we enjoy more on the side. For me its internet marketing, for her its personal training.

        It is very difficult since we both work full time jobs and then work part time jobs on the side. When she isn't training I still want to be able to do my internet marketing. I've found it helps to keep her involved in what i'm working on. I try not to talk about it so much she gets bored, but i'll always talk about the exciting developments that have occured or a new trick i've learned. Likewise, I always listen with interest when she tells me about a new client she met or an exciting development in one of her group classes.

        Luckily for us we don't have kids yet (fingers crossed so it stays that way...)

        Something that's been really difficult for us is balancing the work/friends thing. Our friends from work are young like us and go out frequently, nearly every week night. We like to go out, but we're both eager to navigate ourselves into more flexible careers.

        Ah well, its the sacrifice we make. Hopefully someday we'll be able to do what we like full time and then our free time will really be free.
        Hey Tony, Precisely this is what I am saying. =)

        Guess we are in the same boat.

        Finding the fine line of balance is not easy. But I am determined to try.

        Pete advised me to re-read my 4 hours work week and I have it with me right now. =)

        Thanks again,
        John
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        • Profile picture of the author ildarius
          Week-ends are sacred, spend it with your family, but during the week work
          your butt off, and remind them that you're not only doing it for yourself
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          • Profile picture of the author ShayB
            Family comes first, but I am fortunate to not have to work a job outside of the home.

            I am also blessed with being an insomniac.....er, I mean "night owl".

            I can spend hours a day with the kids and Hubby and then devote quite a bit of time to online stuff.

            But I feel for you, John.....it can be very hard to find the right balance...
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            • Profile picture of the author VinceNouvel
              John..
              I think you need to stay away from the forum... Family always comes first.. Your kids and wife must 've really missed u..


              Vince
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              • Profile picture of the author jhongren
                Originally Posted by VinceNouvel View Post

                John..
                I think you need to stay away from the forum... Family always comes first.. Your kids and wife must 've really missed u..


                Vince
                Thanks Vince...Ok, I will disappear for the weekend!

                Good to rest too. =)
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                • Profile picture of the author Eric Johnson
                  To answer the title question...depends on how happy I am with my family at the moment
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                  • Profile picture of the author PPC-Coach
                    Family always comes first, no contest.

                    If you're young, go be young and stupid, enjoy it while you can, you only have a small window until you have to be an adult with responsibilities and possibly children.

                    If you're a parent, be the best parent you can. Spend as much time with your kids as possible, they grow up SO fast it's crazy. Don't miss a second of it.

                    Life moves so fast, sometimes you have to slow down, turn off the friggen computer and just enjoy it for a moment.

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                    • Profile picture of the author jhongren
                      Hi,

                      Just an update for my effort to make my weekend more productive.

                      I took Pete's advice and re-read "4 Hours Work Week" and I am 1/3 through.
                      (Even though I have read it thrice, I seemed to have learnt a couple of new stuff.)

                      Someone recommended that I stay off this forum for the weekend. And I did, even though there were many moments I wanted to be online. LOL.

                      I spent the entire weekend with my wife and during the moments when we were out, I told myself to enjoy the moments and not to think of anything related to work.

                      It was really helpful and I had lots of fun and I was definitely more relaxed.

                      One thing I brought with me after reading the first 100 pages of 4 Hours Work Week -

                      Ask yourself 3 times a day "Are you being production or just active?"

                      Cheers,
                      John
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                      • Profile picture of the author jbolte1976
                        John,

                        My 2 cents is to make sure you are staying focused. Is spending 6 hrs / day reading posts getting you closer to your goals?

                        I personally have a hard time not getting side tracked myself with all the useful info, etc. Not saying the 6 hrs isn't value added but maybe everyday - schedule your day, accomplish the "have to get dones" then set a side 1 or 2 hrs for continued education - reading posts, ebooks, research, etc.

                        Good luck with this. If you figure out something that works, let everyone know.


                        Jason
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                        • Profile picture of the author pmore
                          Wow - you have a little bit of an internet addiction, huh? I know how it feels, but 6 hours on a forum is way too much!

                          Glad to hear you're cutting down.
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                          • Profile picture of the author Samuel P.
                            6 hours a day on this forum seems like it's going way overboard but I bet most of you would be surprised how much time you actually spend here during your little breaks. It adds up pretty fast if you're online all day.
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                            • Profile picture of the author vorales
                              Hi John,

                              Well it depends on you whether how much time u need to spend online and how much with your wife.Since i have join this forum and online business i too cannot give much time to my family but to achieve something i have to sacrifice something.

                              I suggest that u must spend time with your wife on the contrary have to spend time on the net for your business too,its just you.... who needs to co-ordinate both wife and business nicely.

                              I am sure you can do it have a cooool ice-cream and than think n plan.

                              Plan your work than work your plan.
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                              • Profile picture of the author peteinoz
                                Hey John, as you know I love that boook..

                                Im even kinda jealous of the position you are in just now..

                                having access to this information, means you can strategise from this point onwards to creating an NR online biz..

                                Why am I jealous? we'll my online biz was started 13 to 14 years ago.. so I have a lot of the fundimentals in place..

                                You, from what I see, have a pretty much clean slate to work with

                                So you can from this point just spend time creating a business Plan. using the NR practices from the get go. while you continue your usual online efforts.

                                As you know Im working on a Massive Project right now.. e.g Brute Force SEO
                                I'm starting to impliment the NR strategies in this project. and will be implimenting NR strategies to my entire online biz over the next 12 months..

                                The future is looking very bright

                                Wish I read this book 14 years ago !

                                Obviously the best thing about this book and YOU personally is you are WAY in front of most likely 98% of people reading this book, in terms of understanding starting the online biz and having the opportunity to put it into action with relative ease. compare to the majority who read it and will struggle a LOT with this point.

                                hth's

                                Cheers

                                Pete
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                                • Profile picture of the author jhongren
                                  Hey Pete,

                                  Good to see you. How was your weekend?

                                  The path towards being an NR is definitely worth looking into and I am working on increasing my bottomline (profit) using the 80/20 rule.

                                  Plus D.E.A.L is great!

                                  I think at this point in time I have to redefine my tasks and eliminating unnecessary tasks. It is not easy but it is worth throwing out what is not productive. =)

                                  I will be reading the automation and liberation chapter now. =)

                                  Cheers,
                                  John

                                  Originally Posted by peteinoz View Post

                                  Hey John, as you know I love that boook..

                                  Im even kinda jealous of the position you are in just now..

                                  having access to this information, means you can strategise from this point onwards to creating an NR online biz..

                                  Why am I jealous? we'll my online biz was started 13 to 14 years ago.. so I have a lot of the fundimentals in place..

                                  You, from what I see, have a pretty much clean slate to work with

                                  So you can from this point just spend time creating a business Plan. using the NR practices from the get go. while you continue your usual online efforts.

                                  As you know Im working on a Massive Project right now.. e.g Brute Force SEO
                                  I'm starting to impliment the NR strategies in this project. and will be implimenting NR strategies to my entire online biz over the next 12 months..

                                  The future is looking very bright

                                  Wish I read this book 14 years ago !

                                  Obviously the best thing about this book and YOU personally is you are WAY in front of most likely 98% of people reading this book, in terms of understanding starting the online biz and having the opportunity to put it into action with relative ease. compare to the majority who read it and will struggle a LOT with this point.

                                  hth's

                                  Cheers

                                  Pete
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      • Profile picture of the author jbolte1976
        Tony,

        I'm sure you have thought about this already but maybe you and your girlfriend could build a fitness site or a niche within it?? Might be a fun project for the two of you, you'd each get to get more involved in the others 2nd income / hobby.

        Just a thought,

        Jason
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  • Profile picture of the author GeorgeWhitaker
    I also highly suggest picking up the 4 Hour Work Week. It will do wonders in terms of time management for you. I've read the book 4 times just to get all the time management advice in my head.
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