Do You Think This is Complicated?

32 replies
Waddya think? Is this to complicated, or should I simplify it?

( Links don't work, just want to know I'm going the right way )

The Back Revolution System - Back Pain Relief in 70 Seconds

I'm looking for maximum absorption of information, if your eye moves around a lot but picks up information then thats good.

If it gets too confusing, I'll fix it, let me know.

First impression, does it look like you want to stay there? Or do you want to press back?

I really need usability testing here guys, this is serious.

Experts please help.

-Ryan
#complicated #complicated design #cta #optimization #sales funnel
  • Profile picture of the author Adrian Cooper
    Originally Posted by rawservices View Post

    Waddya think? Is this to complicated, or should I simplify it?

    ( Links don't work, just want to know I'm going the right way )

    The Back Revolution System - Back Pain Relief in 70 Seconds

    I'm looking for maximum absorption of information, if your eye moves around a lot but picks up information then thats good.

    If it gets too confusing, I'll fix it, let me know.

    First impression, does it look like you want to stay there? Or do you want to press back?

    I really need usability testing here guys, this is serious.

    Experts please help.

    -Ryan
    Too long. People are not interested in the name of the product - only the solution. So:

    Back Pain Relief in 70 Seconds

    Would be a very good header. It tells the visitor what they need to know to resolve their issue.
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    • Profile picture of the author WendellC
      Ryan -

      Hi.

      I'm not at all an expert but here's my thought:

      I kinda like the phrase "2 Minutes" which sounds faster than "70 Seconds."

      Do any of these titles make you want to read more?

      1) The Secret To Back Pain Relief
      2) Who Else Wants Back Pain Relief In Under 2 Minutes?
      3) How I Relieved My Back Pain -- In Less Than 2 Minutes!
      4) Imagine Being Free From Back Pain With This Simple 2 Minute Exercise
      5) All It Takes Is 2 Minutes For Back Pain Relief

      Hope this helps.

      Wendell
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  • Profile picture of the author Christophe Young
    I find the opt in form a little confusing. I had to look hard to find where to enter my name and email. It's a different style with the red and black colors. Maybe it's just me.
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  • Profile picture of the author rawservices
    Thank you christophe, I am going to make everything easier, I know its too much to put on one page, I'll spread the love.
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  • Profile picture of the author LB
    I agree with others on the USP.

    Another thing to consider (test) is whether or not to feature the product so prominently or just go for the optin...when people see product pictures, products, testimonials they know they are going to be sold something so they put their "shields up" and their resistence raises.

    You might want to test just focusing all your energy on getting the optin by featuring the USP of quick pain relief and let them optin to learn more...where presumably they will learn about your product.
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  • Profile picture of the author yaji
    Looks great. I just don't like the 3-men image in the page.
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  • Profile picture of the author Steven Carl Kelly
    It falls flat for me. My best two pieces of advice:

    1. Two Minutes! Sounds a lot shorter than 70 seconds because, obviously, 2 is less than 70.

    2. If it were my site, the USP would go ABOVE the name of the system. The product name doesn't need to be more prominent than the pitch, as it is right now. Reading this way as it is now...

    The Back Revolution
    System
    A Healthy Back in 70 Seconds

    just doesn't do it. A "healthy back" doesn't speak directly to your more desperate buyers -- people who are suffering from back PAIN. That's what your target buyer should be.

    Instead, my version of the site would be:
    BACK PAIN RELIEF in Under Two Minutes...
    GUARANTEED
    with the
    Back Revolution System

    That's my two cents. There's more, but that's all I feel like posting this late in the evening!
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    • Profile picture of the author Adrian Cooper
      Originally Posted by Steven Carl Kelly View Post

      It falls flat for me. My best two pieces of advice:

      1. Two Minutes! Sounds a lot shorter than 70 seconds because, obviously, 2 is less than 70.

      2. If it were my site, the USP would go ABOVE the name of the system. The product name doesn't need to be more prominent than the pitch, as it is right now. Reading this way as it is now...

      The Back Revolution
      System
      A Healthy Back in 70 Seconds

      just doesn't do it. A "healthy back" doesn't speak directly to your more desperate buyers -- people who are suffering from back PAIN. That's what your target buyer should be.

      Instead, my version of the site would be:
      BACK PAIN RELIEF in Under Two Minutes...
      GUARANTEED
      with the
      Back Revolution System

      That's my two cents. There's more, but that's all I feel like posting this late in the evening!
      Yes - I would go for "Under Two Minutes".

      I was following your 70 second theme, but people would relate to 2 minutes better.

      I would use the number though:

      BACK PAIN RELIEF in Under 2 Minutes...

      Careful about the guarantee. You could get sued for that.
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  • Profile picture of the author rawservices
    Hey steve, thanks for the advice.

    I agree with you, however, it is not my product, I have to bend to the boss on this one lol.

    I tried to explain to him the benefits of doing that, but to no avail.

    Thank you for your constructive criticism!

    -Ryan
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  • Profile picture of the author hangtimenino
    hi there,
    i am not an expert, but i am a fine arts graduate, and did some advertising course back in Uni, and what i dont like in the your site, is the black background, its gives a whole gothic look , and it doesnt really relate to what you are offering. Relief from pain, so it should give out the soothing feeling..
    hope it helped.
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  • Profile picture of the author rawservices
    thank you hangtimenino, your totally right, im re-designing and going to upload later tonight.

    it definitely needs to be more soothing, im masculine and i like the gothic / bondage thing i guess lol ;-)

    gonna post soon, thank you!
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    • Profile picture of the author WendellC
      Ryan -

      Hi.

      I know you're still in draft mode -- just be sure to fix all the typos before you're done.

      "Adjust Your Back At Your CONVENIENCE"

      "Gravity is the most DEVASTATING..."

      I totally agree with AriMakade in that you should state the benefits rather than the features. At least at the beginning.

      Tell a story the relates to the problem of the user and try to restate their problem. If you get "into the user's head" you might find that back pain sufferers are very frustrated because:

      - costs too much for treatments
      - hours and hours of therapy that doesn't work
      - wastes a lot of time; have to take time off work
      - tired of being run through the medical system where people don't care about you
      - no hope for ever getting relief
      - just want to do normal activities

      I also like Steven Kelly's "Guaranteed" phrase. That makes the offer pretty irresistible as Mark Joyner would attest.

      -----
      "Imagine Being Free From Back Pain In Less Than 2 Minutes -- Guaranteed!"

      Are you frustrated that your back hurts all the time?

      Aggravated by the endless physical therapies that don't seem to help?

      Tired of spending hundreds and thousands of dollars without any long lasting results?

      Do you just want to enjoy your "normal" activities again? Walking with your family, sitting to read a book, standing to watch a parade? And to do all that without any back pain?

      With our new Back Pain Revolution System you can start to live a normal life again -- totally free from back pain -- and all under 2 minutes! Guaranteed!
      -----

      Not quite as flowing as it could be, although I'm thinking something along those lines...

      Hope this helps.

      Wendell
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  • Profile picture of the author HenryFuentes
    Hey Ryan,

    My few tips,

    its basically one big image. I would splice the benefits the separate images giving each image its own alt tag that describes the benefit also name the image file the benefit not just image1 .. image2 .. and so forth.

    Make it two columns I would cut is off right before the 3 guys section then move that section over to the top right.

    Increase the font of the "<- discover the top 50 users" or replace it with "see the proof here" or something like that.. ( most people dont care about others results they just want to know what can it do for me)

    If you plan on doing some ppc make two different pages one with the buy now button and no optin box then the other one with just the optin box no buy now button (bad quality score there needs to be a clear mission for the visitor on what there supposed to do its either one or the other not both.)

    Add terms of service, contact us, site map link ( i know you have your contact info there its just better to give the visitors more then one way to contact you)

    I would personally instead of having all the benefits and headline in an image I would replace it with text and have it keyword dependent on what shows up.

    the subscribe button looks ugly and hurts my eyes make the font bold and try to invert the colors red button and black text ... or if you can make it a gif where it would invert the colors in sequence that would be a good test.
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  • Profile picture of the author rawservices
    Henry,

    Thank you so much that was awesome.

    I did make all the graphics / coding etc.

    I will be slicing up and optimizing / SEO etc once I finalize the page.

    I definitely will be adding more to the site, its very basic I know, but I want to get the MAIN landing page (The Back Revolution System - Back Pain Relief in 70 Seconds) just right.

    I will be having separate landing pages for obviously different PPC.

    The subscribe box is temporary, just to see how a block would look down there, its going to be beautiful once completed trust me

    but all in all, that is some awesome feedback man, thank you.

    P.S. I'm doing a blue color scheme to test different colors, would you come back and have a look?

    -Ryan
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  • Profile picture of the author JonStein
    STOP!!

    First, the 70 second line is absolutely brilliant, DO NOT change it.

    All those tired marketers trying to tell you 2 minutes is better are mistaken.

    Here is why: 2 is TIRED! it's old, worn out, and ineffective.

    My 2 cents
    under 2 minutes
    Just the 2 of us

    Be unique, be different, break away from the crowd- 70 is the new 2!

    next point, change the spelling of devistating to the correct form 'devastating'.

    Consider a name for your report: Explains... ? we already know Gravity causes problems, tell us something we do not know.

    As stated by others the graphics button needs changed.

    and..

    this line "We strongly believe in anti-spam laws and enforce them."
    Do you really enforce the anti-spam laws? what are you the police? Change it to a little more user friendly like:
    "We only use your email to send you our free report and promotional material, we never share your email with anyone..etc"


    Other than that,

    I like your presentation!
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    • Profile picture of the author rawservices
      Originally Posted by JonStein View Post

      STOP!!

      First, the 70 second line is absolutely brilliant, DO NOT change it.

      All those tired marketers trying to tell you 2 minutes is better are mistaken.

      Here is why: 2 is TIRED! it's old, worn out, and ineffective.

      My 2 cents
      under 2 minutes
      Just the 2 of us

      Be unique, be different, break away from the crowd- 70 is the new 2!

      next point, change the spelling of devistating to the correct form 'devastating'.

      Consider a name for your report: Explains... ? we already know Gravity causes problems, tell us something we do not know.

      As stated by others the graphics button needs changed.

      and..

      this line "We strongly believe in anti-spam laws and enforce them."
      Do you really enforce the anti-spam laws? what are you the police? Change it to a little more user friendly like:
      "We only use your email to send you our free report and promotional material, we never share your email with anyone..etc"


      Other than that,

      I like your presentation!

      Joe, I can't agree more and will keep the 70 seconds. 7 is a magic number after all ;-)

      thanks for the correction: devastating

      i'm learning guys and gals, thank you so much for all of your input.
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    • Profile picture of the author WendellC
      Originally Posted by JonStein View Post

      STOP!!

      ...
      Be unique, be different, break away from the crowd- 70 is the new 2!
      Jon -

      Good point! Having a different number can certainly help to make it stand out and draw interest.

      On the other hand, sometimes familiar numerical phrases can just "sound" better.

      Back Pain? Gone In 60 Seconds! vs. Back Pain? Gone In 70 Seconds!

      2 Minute Warning Until Back Pain Relief vs. 70 Second Warning Until Back Pain Relief

      For you, though, my next WSO will be the uniquely different $70 instead of the old timesome $2...

      Heh!

      j/k

      Wendell
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  • Profile picture of the author rawservices
    @clickguy - my god, thank you.

    i just had a revelation in my mind after reading your post.

    i've been in sales for quite a long time so i'm kicking myself for not seeing it sooner and relating it to the web.

    my customer wants to feel emotionally connected in some way to this product, and i'm just giving "facts" and not engaging there reptilian brain.

    i'm taking your comments to heart, and i seriously hope that you can review when i'm done. ( i'll pm you just in case you forget :-) )

    P.S. in the future my girlfriend will be modeling the back revolution on the front ;-) ;-)

    -Ryan

    my awesome girlfriend:

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  • Profile picture of the author ~Davor Debrecin~
    Hi Ryan,

    my advice is not to decide between "in 70 seconds" nor "in 2 minutes". Create a split test and see which one converts better - simple!

    Because in theory you can have great reasons why you should put one or the other. Everybody here told you great reasons why you should put 70 and why you should put 2, but that's just theory. Create a split test, get enough actions and then you'll know which one is better.

    If you need help with split testing, check out these guys: conversion-rate-experts.com They have a great free report where they show you a lot of different things on what to test and how to test stuff.

    As far as the usability of your site... I think you're using too much attention-grabbing images that drive attention to less important parts of your squeeze page. For example, the image in the left hand corner saying "Effective" - this is one of the first thing that drew my eyes to, before seeing the headline "Back Pain Relief in 70 Seconds" so the "Effective" image didn't convey any useful information to me, because I thought "What's effective?"

    Then of course, I think you're opt-in form drives the least eye attention on your whole page! And this is the most important part of your page. You need to change that. You need your opt-in form to stand out so the eyes of your visitors are drawn to the form.

    Again, this is just theory - you need to test everything to find that out.

    Hope I helped,

    ~Davor

    PS: Don't use black as the color of your background. Especially because your product is mostly in black! It doesn't stand out enough. Plus, if your text is in white and you have colored images around the text, it will get less attention. And that's something I already explained to you. Use light colors as your background (like light blue, light orange, etc.) Go here: Color Scheme Designer 3 and click on "Complement" and play with the round thingy. It will show you which colors work best in tandem.
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    • Profile picture of the author rawservices
      Originally Posted by ~Davor Debrecin~ View Post

      Hi Ryan,

      my advice is not to decide between "in 70 seconds" nor "in 2 minutes". Create a split test and see which one converts better - simple!

      Because in theory you can have great reasons why you should put one or the other. Everybody here told you great reasons why you should put 70 and why you should put 2, but that's just theory. Create a split test, get enough actions and then you'll know which one is better.

      If you need help with split testing, check out these guys: conversion-rate-experts.com They have a great free report where they show you a lot of different things on what to test and how to test stuff.

      As far as the usability of your site... I think you're using too much attention-grabbing images that drive attention to less important parts of your squeeze page. For example, the image in the left hand corner saying "Effective" - this is one of the first thing that drew my eyes to, before seeing the headline "Back Pain Relief in 70 Seconds" so the "Effective" image didn't convey any useful information to me, because I thought "What's effective?"

      Then of course, I think you're opt-in form drives the least eye attention on your whole page! And this is the most important part of your page. You need to change that. You need your opt-in form to stand out so the eyes of your visitors are drawn to the form.

      Again, this is just theory - you need to test everything to find that out.

      Hope I helped,

      ~Davor

      PS: Don't use black as the color of your background. Especially because your product is mostly in black! It doesn't stand out enough. Plus, if your text is in white and you have colored images around the text, it will get less attention. And that's something I already explained to you. Use light colors as your background (like light blue, light orange, etc.) Go here: Color Scheme Designer 3 and click on "Complement" and play with the round thingy. It will show you which colors work best in tandem.

      Sucking it all in, I'll spit something out pretty awesome I hope :-)

      thanks for the link to the color scheme designer, very cool.
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  • Profile picture of the author rawservices
    Yea can't use the guarantee un-fortunantly ;-(

    But I can stress the thousands of users who use the back revolution and the relief they have gotten.

    I have a stack of testimonials laying here on my desk, I don't know how I'm going to put them all into the website. Theres got to be 100 ranging from Barbra Bush to average joe contractor.

    It's quite an amazing machine, and very well priced.
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  • Profile picture of the author rawservices
    I'm really hoping that other warriors can benefit from this thread by seeing and understanding the thought process behind creating a landing page, or any other page for that matter.
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  • Profile picture of the author THK
    I would love to hear the results of the split test between 70 seconds and 2 minutes. It could be interesting. Personally I prefer 70 seconds, because I do read the word "seconds" beside the number 70 and it does sound faster and more interesting than "minutes". But I am not your customer, so my opinion doesn't count.

    Alright, I'll tell you what I thought when I first landed on your page. Mind you, it is not "Expert opinion" since I am not an expert, it is just my opinion.

    When I first landed on the page it seemed nice and colorful. After couple of seconds I felt there was something missing. It felt incomplete. I tried to figure out what it was and I think it is the amount of white space on both sides. After staying on the page for a while I got used to it and it doesn't look that bad. But at first I didn't feel like reading the article or anything.

    The top part of the page is so colorful and animated but the bottom half is almost too simple. Maybe you could add another column to the left hand side and put some testimonials there too and see how it looks.

    Just a thought.

    Tanvir
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