8 replies
Just looking for a review of this site.

Especially looking for constructive criticism.

Let me tell you some of the things that concern me.

1. It might just be me bit it seems there's a lot of white space between the headline, subhead, and video/optin box.

2. I think the video might be too small. I'm thinking about expanding it and shrinking the opt in box.

3. Has anyone ever used a graphic to link to a separate page with an optin box. I was thinking about used a graphic and some text that would link to a different page where I could have a video that details the benefits of joining my list as well as the opt in box.

Your thoughts?
#review #site
  • Profile picture of the author CashTactics
    1. There definitely is a lot of wasted space. Try condensing the lines a bit to pull the page up more. Your header image is a little big for this type of page which is adding to the pushed down effect.

    2. Your video blends in with the page. I didn't even know it was a video until I read this. Upload it to youtube and you will 1. get extra youtube traffic and 2. people will know it is a video and then play it. Your play, pause, and stop button are currently hidden until hoovered over.

    3. You should cut out your opt-in box and have an opt-in pop up. From my personal experience you either have a specific opt-in page or you have a sales page. Not both in one unless you have a waiting list or you have the opt-in box popup on the sales page. Does that make sense?

    Overall its pretty decent looking. I would pop your image in there somewhere with some info about who you are next to it. That will give you more creditability. This is definitely a unique niche and one that is overlooked! You can sure find CPA offers for the armed forces that you can promote to your list as well. And don't forget to send them health related offers as they will need to be in shape for this line of work

    Good work!
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  • Profile picture of the author joshril
    I agree.. looks solid, but something about the spacing at the top doesn't entice me to scroll down the page. Not being rude, but I would probably click off. Maybe some text below the header at the top of the page that grabs your viewers a bit more.

    Overall a great start!
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  • Profile picture of the author waysofmylife
    1. There definitely is a lot of wasted space. Try condensing the lines a bit to pull the page up more. Your header image is a little big for this type of page which is adding to the pushed down effect.

    This is what I agree with.... everything else looks pretty dead on with what everyone else is making money with these days
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  • Profile picture of the author artwebster
    The site does exactly what it sets out to do - it captures the imagination of people wanting to be army pilots. Guess what - they won't see wasted space at the top of the page - they will see a highly motivational and challenging statement that will have them saying 'Hell! Yeah!'

    I think you have a well balanced and presented site here that will appeal to your target audience. Forget all the crap about opt ins and so forth - you are selling a product that represents robust value and the site reflects that.

    Sometimes marketers can be too bloody 'clever' and hide their message with random acts of marketing madness that turn butch, take it or leave it, man or mouse messages/challenges into invitations to Barbie and Ken's next barbeque (bring your own napkins!).

    You might not like what I say - but I believe it.
    Build it, make money, then build some more
    Some old school smarts would help - and here's to Rob Toth for his help. Bloody good stuff, even the freebies!

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  • Profile picture of the author nizhama2
    This site looked great for me. I'm agree with others about wasted space after the header, but when the visitor scroll down, he/she will like your site...
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    • Profile picture of the author NickCook
      Very well done...

      My only comment would be that the optin form and video are side-by-side and much wider than the page text. You could increase the margins on the page to compensate, or perhaps put the video below the optin box....The other thing is you might want to try a couple of different fonts to see if you can improve readability a little bit...

      Good work.
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  • Profile picture of the author gyar29

    I like your site. Pretty straight forward with the offer. A couple of suggestions.

    You identify yourself as a former Army Aviator. Perhaps adding some pictures of you in uniform, flight gear, etc would add some juice to that claim.

    Adding your signature using a sig font would also help re:

    Kevin Whatever
    Captain, United States Army (Ret)

    Get some testimonials from some of your contacts that are Army aviators. Ask them to spell out how much they wish they had read your offer before they became Army Aviators, and how real the info you supply is.

    The header states that "This could be you". While it looks like the arrow is pointing at the helicopter. The pilot in the helicopter is really hard to make out through the glare on the cockpit window. Kinda looks like your saying I could be a helicopter. Perhaps you could show an aviator standing beside his helicopter with the arrow pointing at him, or find a picture where the pilot is much more visible.

    Get rid of the asterisks in your words. IE: pi**ing into a stiff wind. Spell it out. Pissing into a stiff wind...

    The members of your target market are not likely to be members of the language police. Keeping it real will add authenticity to your copy. You are an Army Aviator. You do not climb out of your helicopter after a 6 hour mission blowing up shit and go take a wee-wee.

    You state that "This guide is like having your own personal mentor."
    This guide is having your own group of highly trained highly motivated ass kicking Army Aviators as your personal mentors.

    Remember that your target market is the same market that the U.S. Army and the U.S. Marines are targeting. Look at their adds. Testosterone flows like water. Machismo oozes from the adds. Now they do throw in some feel good stuff for Mommy and Daddy, but your target isn't going to be Mommy and Daddy. Your target market is that teenage kid that wants to kick ass and take names while flying a helicopter.

    Flying an Apache helicopter has got to be way cool, right?
    So use some of your words to draw me a picture of the adrenaline rush I'll get, the pride I'll feel, and the respect I'll receive. Get my mouth watering over just thinking about sitting in your seat.

    In the P.S. you state that the competition for a flight slight is fierce. Do you really mean slight?

    Take Care,
    Gene Y.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kevin AKA Hubcap
      Thanks to everyone for the critique.


      I thought about using more colorful language but backed off. Thanks for helping me remember who my target audience is and what they want.

      Your language suggestions are worth their weight in gold.
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