The Fear of Success and the Fear of Failure are the same thing... sometimes

4 replies
When we set a goal and delay working towards it could be overt signs of a Fear of Failure and covert signs of a Fear of Success.

As children we have been thought how to prepare for failure and how to overcome it but we were never taught how to accept success and KEEP it, a good example being the unexpected lottery winners who win a windfall and find how quickly the money has dissipated.

We don't say 'I am afraid of being unable to maintain this high standards' because we are expected to keep and maintain theses high standards regardless and how possible is that?

Most often we just say ' I am afraid of failure' when we are actually afraid of disappointing ourselves and others when we fall from our self-imposed high standards.
#failure #fear #success #thing
  • Profile picture of the author Adrianhenry
    When you really break it down it doesnt matter what the fear is of. Most people are controlled by fear and all issues can be broken down into component parts of some fear or the other. This is a profound realisation. I read a book called "feel the fear and do it anyway" which really opened my eyes and made me realise that instead of trying to avoid fear (which I thought was the way around letting fear control you, not realising this act in itself was fear controlling me ) that we should instead embrace it and realise that it is a healthy motivator. Turn the tables and use it to our advantage.

    Coming back to the point made in OP, I definitely agree that in a lot of cases the fear of success is a bigger enemy than the fear of failure. I myself know this first hand as a few years ago I had some great success in a certain area of my life and even though I was good at what I was doing I somehow managed to make every mistake I knew to avoid before I gain that success and before I knew it I was back where I started.

    It was a great lesson for me and a huge realisation that achieving success itself is not the goal, but actually maintaining it. In my mind success is not and action or a sum of actions but is instead a state of mind; successful people are successful regardless of circumstance. Cultivating that state of mind has become one of my greatest goal in life and I feel privileged to have figured this all out as early as I have.
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    • Profile picture of the author rbarnhart1
      @Adrianhenry --

      I had the cassette tapes of that many years ago. I listened to half of it and then it got lost and never got to finish it. But, I remember it had some really good ideas and concepts.

      Thanks for posting that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    the lottery winner thing where 70 percent of million dollar plus end up worse off in 5 years ..

    has nothing to do with fear ..if you give a person who sees themselves as poor ..a million dollar ..they still see themselves as poor ..so they spend the money trying to look rich ..

    it is all in the ego ..does what we think success or failur ..or getting rich..run counter to the ego driven self image we work hard to form and project to the world around us
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    • Profile picture of the author Adrianhenry
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      the lottery winner thing where 70 percent of million dollar plus end up worse off in 5 years ..

      has nothing to do with fear ..if you give a person who sees themselves as poor ..a million dollar ..they still see themselves as poor ..so they spend the money trying to look rich ..

      it is all in the ego ..does what we think success or failur ..or getting rich..run counter to the ego driven self image we work hard to form and project to the world around us
      This is a concept discussed in another book called "rich dad, poor dad". The book itself gets some abuse from some people and others love it but it makes some very good points regarding this. It says that someone with a "poor" mentality will be poor regardless of their income, if they have a higher income they will have more "stuff" but still be struggling. Whereas someone with a "rich" mentality will always have wealth as they come from a mindset of abundance and put their money into assets rather than material liabilities.

      Coming back to your post though, although I do agree that they lose it all as they spend it trying to look rich it still comes from a place of fear. Its just not fear of success but instead the fear of being perceived as a poor person so they spend all their wealth on unnecessary material things to give the perception of wealth. Ultimately, like most things boils down to a fear of some kind.
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