It's like every single promise I had is fading into the sunset and there is nothing I can do.
UGH.. I've been doing internet marketing for 11 years and have NEVER had success. I was kicked out a group of marketers because they didn't like me. I started with freelancing and went back to that since November and it's still not working to create something steady for my family.
While in a homeless shelter the worker said my work isn't considered work because it's not consistent. And since then that has been on my mind. Nothing is delivering that need. And I really have no idea why not.
It's like this pure fact of .. what's the point? I take orders from fiverr and try to provide my list with longer projects and nothing. I feel like I'm screaming for attention and no one can hear me. Like I'm swimming in the middle of the ocean and no one will ever see me because I'm invisible.
I've had depression issues before and now feel that coming all over again.
I decided last week to stop and change my focus. I'm going back to school to become a doctor because I know it's actually worthy of my attention. It's the complete opposite of writing and does make a steady income even if I get the most lame job ever.
Why can't I have success? What is wrong with me that I can't get anything online to work long term? Even my list!
I must really suck if after all this time I still can't make enough money to even buy groceries at the end of each week.
I'm normally this really happy women but today it hit home that I'm simply wasting my time and nothing works and most likely it will never work because I suck at this. 11 years gone and now it's time to focus on my back up plan and do projects on the side.