Money or Love? You can't have both

by papi70
45 replies
A wise man once told me you can't have both..
You either peruse your life chasing money or love..

I find this to be true if I look at myself and the people I know..

What do other Warriors think about this?
#love #money
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    well chasing either is the problem..
    but without money it really limits your prospects for quality lovers

    as a guy anyway.. and most divorces happen because of money issues .

    on some subjects ..it's best not to listen to the wise hermit man on the top of the mountain ..and even wise men are wrong often enough
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    • Profile picture of the author Jarvis Edwards
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      well chasing either is the problem..
      but without money it really limits your prospects for quality lovers
      as a guy anyway.. and most divorces happen because of money issues .
      You are correct that chasing either IS a problem. But lack of money doesn't limit your prospect for quality lovers.

      Lack of money only limits your prospects for attracting the kind of people who may only be interested in you because of your current financial position. Most people who believe that money attracts quality people, will find themselves attracting "gold diggers," or people who are co-dependent.

      Divorces happen because of money issues, because there are other factors that weren't aligned prior to getting into the marriage. Lack of money is just one link on the chain, and not necessarily the weakest. It depends on the people involved; their true motivations for getting married, maturity level, previous life experience, ability to handle adversity, belief in a higher power/spirituality, etc.

      It's best to form trusting relationships when you have less or even no money, to get to know someone without superficiality being involved; forming a true bond that transcends the $$.
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  • Profile picture of the author jmferret
    I am strongly against such self-limiting beliefs. Who said you can't have both? Many people are financially successful and have wonderful relationships, too.
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    • Profile picture of the author leilapearse
      Banned
      Originally Posted by jmferret View Post

      I am strongly against such self-limiting beliefs. Who said you can't have both? Many people are financially successful and have wonderful relationships, too.
      Indeed! It's just a matter of how you balance the right things on the right place.
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  • Profile picture of the author papi70
    Actually if you observe closely wealthy people are usually not very happy.. Now this doesn't mean all wealthy people aren't happy, I'm talking in general.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by papi70 View Post

      Actually if you observe closely wealthy people are usually not very happy.. Now this doesn't mean all wealthy people aren't happy, I'm talking in general.


      well most of the poor people know are only happy when they are drunk and or high and in america ..80 percent of people who have jobs hate the job they have..and 40 percent of people who are of working age cannot find jobs ..or have had to turn to disability or welfare ..

      a single mother sitting in a welfare office with her two young children with a few suitcases of clothing waiting for emergency aid and housing .. is not the essence off happiness ..

      and if you watch the news from the Us it seems that many local governments use their police forces to harass their poorer communities and extract revenue through fines and petty charges ..the small saving poorer people in the Us can manage to set aside ..ends up being used for posting bail for some family member.

      happiness is really a false measure ..honestly yes you can find desperatly poor vilagers who seen extremely happy...but build a factory near by with crappy jobs but some income and they will line up and hope to get a job ..

      real happiness is a biproduct..of an exciting rewarding life ..past a certain point money wont' effect your happiness as much and can indeed cause problems if there is not plenty of self work..

      if you do not know how to be happy ..what ever amount of money ..will not help for any length of time .
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    I don't think this statement that you can't have both is true.

    Internet Marketing, however, is a stressful and nerve-wracking business to be in that does not play well with relationships.

    You will note many of the successful marketers figured out the business end of things BEFORE going after the romantic pursuits.

    Having your own business is an incredibly time- and energy-consuming thing. Relationships are also time- and energy-consuming. Since most people aren't good at budgeting or managing, it's no surprise we have trouble simultaneously running both.

    Now how about having a partner who's supportive, has the same approach to risk as you do, and you have good communication with? I believe this will go a long way towards success in both areas.
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    • Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      I don't think this statement that you can't have both is true.

      Internet Marketing, however, is a stressful and nerve-wracking business to be in that does not play well with relationships.

      You will note many of the successful marketers figured out the business end of things BEFORE going after the romantic pursuits.

      Having your own business is an incredibly time- and energy-consuming thing. Relationships are also time- and energy-consuming. Since most people aren't good at budgeting or managing, it's no surprise we have trouble simultaneously running both.

      Now how about having a partner who's supportive, has the same approach to risk as you do, and you have good communication with? I believe this will go a long way towards success in both areas.
      I came in here thinking it was going to be a waste of time. Typical cynicism etc.
      I was proven wrong.
      You are right about time and resource management. It remmebered me of an age old proverb, about a guy who was told as much as he ran till sunset would be his land. He droped dead.
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  • Profile picture of the author C G
    Limiting belief
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  • Profile picture of the author PBScott
    First you chase love, and then you chase money.

    That way you can have both.

    You can't chase money first because that chase goes on forever.

    When you lose love, you can chase it again, then get back to money.

    Money doesn't bring me happiness, just comfort.
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  • Profile picture of the author awbenjamin1
    One may not get both. Love and Money. But both are necessary. Can't deposit love in a bank or buy groceries with love.

    Also many think money buys love. But it is not so. Money certainly help sustain relationship but it does not buy love.

    A W Benjamin
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  • Profile picture of the author Jolly Serath
    We actually spend money for love..
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  • Profile picture of the author Jarvis Edwards
    Originally Posted by papi70 View Post

    A wise man once told me you can't have both..
    You either peruse your life chasing money or love..

    I find this to be true if I look at myself and the people I know..

    What do other Warriors think about this?
    I would say that is true as well. People who have large amounts of money usually accumulate it with a price. The price is usually a lack of quality time in which to form meaningful relationships.

    This is why many wealthy people are typically depressed and left unfilled. Many buy many "toys" such as exotic cars, mansions, vacation homes, etc, etc, because they feel that these things bring happiness. When the novelty of "having things" wears off, such people spiral down into feelings of emptiness, as if something is still missing.

    Or those in relationships may have serious problems WITHIN the relationship, although the picture painted to the outside world may represent the exact opposite. So the guys you see with "mad cash" and trophy wives on their shoulder are often unhappy behind closed doors, and the partner is often unhappy too, just keeping the "image" going to those looking in from the outside.

    On the other hand, the guy without much money will often have lasting relationships with meaningful value. This person spends time working to make a living; not to necessarily "get rich." He also has time on his hand to get out into the world, learn who he is and what he REALLY wants out of life.

    And he doesn't even look to hard to find a partner; he just goes with the flow. Since he isn't looking, a partner comes when he least expects it, and they usually "hit it off." At the same time, since he isn't "looking," he doesn't really care if no one comes along. He's happy regardless (all other things being considered).

    Just my $.02 rant.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    Jarvis ,

    I don't disagree with you .. but there is a difference when it come to flashy high income earners ..and those who build life long wealth.

    and you will find just as many people ..in percentage wise in the group of depressed or misserable people..at any income llevel

    the key here is that it is faulse and falty logic to belief that because there are so many have ..who deal with depression and othe mental problems ..

    by pointing that out it seem to give the message do not bother trying to have or be rich .. when a casual look at the news or what many low income persons in the us or lower middle class deal with on a regular basis ..

    high income people burried in debt who are just making enough money to pay their bills..or yes the high income person with the souse with expensive tastes ..will have both depression issues..that they have plenty of money and insuranse to see a good shrink ..and get the best medications ..

    while lower income peopl with not so good insurance ..self medicat with ilegal drugs and end up with felony convictions .

    anyway..the middle class is fading away ..there will only be rich or wealthy..then poor people ..

    the middle class lifestyle in most of the developing world..would be poor in the Usa ..and if you depend on a job for income ..what you make will eventually have to be competitive with what middle class wage earners in the rest of the world earn ..

    what i made 20 years ago when i started working is what i would get today with most jobs i can get ..but most things that you need every day ..cost 2 to 4 times as much ..

    and most thing i have specialized in ..did not caryy outside the company i worked for..or where replaced by tech..

    so i can either keep up the find a job do ok or hang on for three years thn have the job go away..and lose everything by the time i find a new job ..

    or build a business and make money to build long term wealth ....

    there is no virtue to being poor ..and just because someone is rich does not make them virtuous ..
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  • When poverty comes in at doors, love leaps out at windows?

    You can have love without having money. But you can't have love just because you have money.
    So you can have love & money if love came first.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jolly Serath
    Great point @topsocialmarketing
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    love and money do not have to be connected or on the either or list..

    the critical factors in making love last really have to do with both parties having similar life path or life paths that interweave ..

    you can be very different..but if those differences compliment each other..a relationship can last ..

    my parent fought every day they where together for 43 years .. and where only apart 4 months between when they passed on last year .. and they where never rich and made more mnoney after they retired than when they worked ,, but my parents where alike enough..even if they drove the rest of us crazy ..

    you can find love at any income level..but you really have to have a long term direction..if you do not have a life direction ..or fall in love with those who are going or will go in different directions ..

    also our concept of love and marriage..is rooted in times when people got married young had as many children as possible before they died at the then old age of 45 ..after breaking their asses every day earning about 3 dollars a day ..this was the standard condition of humanit ..prior to the mid 1800s..and still where about 3 billion people are ..income wise .

    So much of the anti money anti rich ..propaganda ..was fed into the minds of poor people by rich people so the rich people would have plenty of servents or workers ..and soldiers ..

    look at the biggest touters of anti rich bullcrap today..most of the are very rich people flying around in private jets .. while dreaming of the lesser fortunate people.. giving up their cars and moving around in high speed trains .

    be weary of these common but dangerous beliefs ..that are there to keep you in your station ..
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    • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
      Banned
      That's just ridiculous. I have money and I thoroughly love myself.

      Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan Vodini
    the problem is that almost everyone think that money doesn't give u happiness, it's actually a big bullshit as through money u can have the freedom u want and spend time with people u love. remember people: Money only reveal what you really are! they may not give u happiness but they too important nowadays
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  • Profile picture of the author liaswift
    Don't believe that
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    • Profile picture of the author iam8iam
      Money gives you a peace of mind if not happiness. Nobody can be happy all the time,
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      • Profile picture of the author heavysm
        There's no way I'm choosing one over the other, because this doesn't really apply to me.

        If I'm doing what makes me happy and I'm with a loving partner I really don't see how that doesn't work out.

        What's interesting in my case is that the better I've done in my business the better my relationships have been. I don't know why that is, but that's been the case for me so far.

        But that also means the starting point of my relationships and business were VERY straining on me, and things felt really off balance.

        I never chased money, by the way. It was always about enhancing my skills and providing more value to my clients. The side effect of that has always been an increase in income and relationships getting better.

        So, as far as i know, I'm on the right track with a satisfying income and relationship. Or are we talking about love in other forms that I don't know about...?
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  • Profile picture of the author AdlerSEO57
    Banned
    As an independent female I pride myself on being financially stable on my own. I believe that money comes or it doesn't. Put the work in and it will- but being rich shouldn't be the ultimate goal. At the end of the day I'd always rather choose love than money. But as a few others mentioned, I think financial stability can improve your love life.
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    • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
      Banned
      Originally Posted by AdlerSEO57 View Post

      At the end of the day I'd always rather choose love than money.
      That was redundant. You has already mentioned that you were female. :-)

      Cheers. - Frank
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      • Profile picture of the author PrettyJenny
        Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

        That was redundant. You has already mentioned that you were female. :-)

        Cheers. - Frank
        I think it was a rather sexist comment from your side. I have seen many men choosing love over money and women focusing on their career rather than love.

        Personally I want to have both and have been trying to balance between work and family. If there is a time period that I'm too busy with work, I try to compensate my SO afterwards with some quality time like a small getaway.

        Life is like a portfolio of investment assets and each of us is a portfolio manager. You can't put all your eggs in one basket and only work on one project. A balanced and healthy portfolio is the one that everyone should strive for in their life.
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        • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
          Banned
          Originally Posted by PrettyJenny View Post

          I think it was a rather sexist comment from your side.
          It was a joke.
          I have seen many men choosing love over money and women focusing on their career rather than love.

          Personally I want to have both and have been trying to balance between work and family. If there is a time period that I'm too busy with work, I try to compensate my SO afterwards with some quality time like a small getaway.

          Life is like a portfolio of investment assets and each of us is a portfolio manager. You can't put all your eggs in one basket and only work on one project. A balanced and healthy portfolio is the one that everyone should strive for in their life.
          Thanks for the lesson in financial life, Suze Orman.

          Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author Rob82
    I don't agree... I have money and I'm in love :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Jolly Serath
    Agreed with @Leilapearse....
    It depends on the person....either he/she give importance ....for the love or for the money....
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  • Profile picture of the author kd1338
    Life is what you make it buddy and love is love.... Being that we are Internet Marketers its our job to come up with solutions,so figure it out!!!!!!!!!!! lol
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  • Another thing to consider is perhaps taking a cyclical approach to your relationships and business. I've personally found that relationships refresh you and prevent burnout from work. One month you work long hours and spend just enough time with your partner to maintain the relationship, and the next month you put your business into maintenance mode and work to dive deeper and establish a stronger connection with your significant other. The two can be complimentary.
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  • Profile picture of the author fdmarketers
    Well I think this depends on the people involved. A good economic situation improves and helps the love life, (Economic know the couple often away), as well as a stable history where there is love and understanding and a good shoulder, is always helpful in achieving success. Basically I believe that love and money are not mutually exclusive but I believe they are one of the other help, as long as you find the right balance.
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  • Profile picture of the author Marie N
    Originally Posted by papi70 View Post

    A wise man once told me you can't have both..
    You either peruse your life chasing money or love..

    I find this to be true if I look at myself and the people I know..

    What do other Warriors think about this?
    Yes I can, and I will!!!

    Money without love = Insanity
    Love without money = Misery
    Money with love = Happiness

    I choose happiness, and will continue to strive for both.
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      I believe you can have both - I believe in an unlimited universe where anything and everything is possible.

      Money and love can co-exist - there is evidence of this everywhere if we look for it. We are too often fed negativity about many things including money, so that we often end up with self-limiting ideas such as what the OP suggests.
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  • Profile picture of the author ScottieScott
    I don't think you should be chasing either one - you need to attract them both, along with health. Once you have all three, you are wealthy. And yes, you can have all three.
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  • Profile picture of the author esmarshall
    I Have To Disagree, You Just Have To Manage Your Time Better
    If You Have A Real Woman.....Then She'll Understand What Needs To Be Done

    Like Scottie Scott Said
    Realistically You Should Be Attracting Them To You, Not Chasing 'Em
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  • Profile picture of the author George Flm
    I have reaped both using nothing more than hypnosis. You just need to steer the subconscious to the right direction and then bam, manifestation occurs on auto pilot. To continue to party, you need the highly celebrated tools connoisseurs put into use to attract manifold miracles in their own life, and I can't see why can't you too.

    Just ditch the scarcity mindset and off you go.
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  • Profile picture of the author tobyjensen
    This is absolutely true. You cannot have money and love.

    Real money, that is.

    We're talking billions upon billions of dollars here. The skill sets are completely polarizing to each other. Just head out and look for the problems that billionaires have. I have heard that only about 200,000 people have a net worth over $25 million. Their main concern? Being able to tell who truly cares about them. They are surrounded everywhere they go with pretenders, sharks, and sycophants.

    It truly is a problem that the rest of us laugh at.

    How can they actually not know who truly cares about them? It seems absurd. The answer is that producing results to gain money is a very different skill set than enjoying the present moment to feel someone loving you. Making money is a withdrawal, loving is a sharing.

    The honest truth?

    Those who have money and love do not have millions of dollars. Yes, you can make a good living ($75k to around $2m or $3m a year) before this problem starts to seriously make an impact. After that the deception starts to take on a life of its own. We give up riches beyond this in order to have money and love in our lives today.

    Proof?

    Children. They take a lot of money and time out of our careers to have a healthy, vibrant family. And we don't care. Because the fulfillment and reward we get far surpasses extreme wealth that often just feeds the ego anyway.

    What most people are after is a lot of love with a decent amount of money to enhance and enjoy that love. That is the healthy, vibrant, sustainable way of living life. That is what everyone is saying when they say, "Of course you can have money and love. Don't be stupid."
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    • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
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      Originally Posted by tobyjensen View Post

      This is absolutely true. You cannot have money and love.
      Bill and Melinda Gates seem happy enough. Steve Jobs and his wife seem to have had a loving relationship.

      And here this whole time I thought that I was the cynic.

      Cheers. - Frank
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      • Profile picture of the author tobyjensen
        Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

        Bill and Melinda Gates seem happy enough. Steve Jobs and his wife seem to have had a loving relationship.

        And here this whole time I thought that I was the cynic.

        Cheers. - Frank
        Most power hungry, control freaks do seem to be happy. Isn't that the key - They SEEM to be.

        Well, I wouldn't call being honest and true being cynical at all. That's where we begin to live in a fantasy world. A simple google search about the mental health of Steve Jobs or Bill Gates could easily clear it up for you. Bill Gates was notorious for yelling and screaming at people in his organization. He was even brought in before congress on his monopolizing business tactics. He was extremely well known for forcing others to do business his way or he simply crushed them into dust. That is how big money is created.

        Just talk to his former employees and you will know.

        Sheesh, anybody can appear to look happy. It takes a little perception to be able to peak behind the curtain.

        Ever talk to former Tony Robbins' employees? Try that out. Then let us know what is really going on.
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        • Profile picture of the author heavysm
          Originally Posted by tobyjensen View Post

          Most power hungry, control freaks do seem to be happy. Isn't that the key - They SEEM to be.

          Well, I wouldn't call being honest and true being cynical at all. That's where we begin to live in a fantasy world. A simple google search about the mental health of Steve Jobs or Bill Gates could easily clear it up for you. Bill Gates was notorious for yelling and screaming at people in his organization. He was even brought in before congress on his monopolizing business tactics. He was extremely well known for forcing others to do business his way or he simply crushed them into dust. That is how big money is created.

          Just talk to his former employees and you will know.

          Sheesh, anybody can appear to look happy. It takes a little perception to be able to peak behind the curtain.

          Ever talk to former Tony Robbins' employees? Try that out. Then let us know what is really going on.
          Perhaps that too much of an extreme though.

          To have money, in whatever amounts makes you happy, couldn't you also have love as long as money wasn't in such great amounts that it impeded on your relationships?

          I think there's a happy medium that may be achieved. It's when you look at the extremes, of those who devoted their lives to either end of the spectrum, that you have problems because the focus was too much on either of the two: money OR love. In those situations, when the focus is placed too highly on either, of course there is imbalance.
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          • Profile picture of the author tobyjensen
            Originally Posted by heavysm View Post

            Perhaps that too much of an extreme though.

            To have money, in whatever amounts makes you happy, couldn't you also have love as long as money wasn't in such great amounts that it impeded on your relationships?

            I think there's a happy medium that may be achieved. It's when you look at the extremes, of those who devoted their lives to either end of the spectrum, that you have problems because the focus was too much on either of the two: money OR love. In those situations, when the focus is placed too highly on either, of course there is imbalance.

            Well said, Heavysm, well said. I was wondering if someone would figure it out and correct me. You got to it first though. Good for you!

            Another example to contradict me could be Mark Cuban or Richard Branson. Don't know for sure since I haven't met them but from what I see on Shark Tank or Branson's appearances - they both seem to be level headed, engaging, and savvy about people. That would easily offset the diminishing returns on relationships I mentioned earlier.

            Just wanted to be clear about the horror stories I hear from the rich. So we can effectively deal with it. Nothing really cynical about that.

            So, it's not necessarily the amount of money being earned that causes problems but the solitary focus that needs to be taken into account. Just that "usually" making great amounts of money takes a serious focus away from personal relationships.

            And, of course, I am a long ways from really having that type of problem myself so maybe one day, cross my fingers, I will have billions and tons of healthy friends as well.

            Let's not settle on mediocre income and great relationships. It's about sharing great wealth to have incredible personal relationships as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author johnnyfd
    I got both buddy.

    Think abundance!
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  • Profile picture of the author winnermarketing
    I ll be very cynic: MONEY

    This is a very important element to make proud of me my parents and all people belive in me.
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  • Profile picture of the author stevereel
    The two are not related. You can have one, both or neither. Love and Money both take the right type of effort put in to get the results you want.
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    • Profile picture of the author sttbs
      Originally Posted by jmferret View Post

      I am strongly against such self-limiting beliefs. Who said you can't have both? Many people are financially successful and have wonderful relationships, too.
      Originally Posted by Rob82 View Post

      I don't agree... I have money and I'm in love :-)
      Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

      I believe you can have both - I believe in an unlimited universe where anything and everything is possible.

      Money and love can co-exist - there is evidence of this everywhere if we look for it. We are too often fed negativity about many things including money, so that we often end up with self-limiting ideas such as what the OP suggests.
      Originally Posted by ScottieScott View Post

      I don't think you should be chasing either one - you need to attract them both, along with health. Once you have all three, you are wealthy. And yes, you can have all three.
      Agree with these people.. don't be self limiting and only settle for less in life.

      On another note, I believe money can actually help / improve your love life by giving you more options to pursue with your loved.
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