Just Believe In Yourself

8 years ago

I keep programming myself with positive affirmations coming from an external source that flips my switch. That's why I am more cognitive, more deliberate and more vigilant.

Bravo for considering "programming" in your list.

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Mark Singletary

8 years ago

I agree that positive thinking, ignoring most critics, sticktoitiveness, and more are required to succeed in anything.

However, in many cases all the positive thinking and believing we can do it in the world will do NO good and will actually harm us. For example, if I'm a 50 year old, overweight 5' 9" person, that has never played basketball at any competitive level it is extremely unlikely that no matter what I say to myself I can succeed in the NBA.

Should I waste my time talking about, planning, dreaming, and believing I can be successful in the NBA even when everything screams there's no way. I think you would say yes but I would disagree.

Should I do everything in my power to build up my mindset and then go and do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals and fix my problems in areas that I actually have a chance? I think we would both agree we should.

I think miracles can happen, dreams come true, and people can overcome incredible odds. I think we should encourage and do what we can to help.

However, in some cases, we are doing no favors with all the rah rah talk - we are actually hurting them.

I think many people that want to have a successful online business are this way. Some have the talent, the know-how, the discipline, the brains, the work ethic, the personality, etc. to succeed. Others not so much. I think encouraging them doesn't help anyone.

Mark

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ZachAlfaro

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

I agree that positive thinking, ignoring most critics, sticktoitiveness, and more are required to succeed in anything.

However, in many cases all the positive thinking and believing we can do it in the world will do NO good and will actually harm us. For example, if I'm a 50 year old, overweight 5' 9" person, that has never played basketball at any competitive level it is extremely unlikely that no matter what I say to myself I can succeed in the NBA.

Should I waste my time talking about, planning, dreaming, and believing I can be successful in the NBA even when everything screams there's no way. I think you would say yes but I would disagree.

Should I do everything in my power to build up my mindset and then go and do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals and fix my problems in areas that I actually have a chance? I think we would both agree we should.

I think miracles can happen, dreams come true, and people can overcome incredible odds. I think we should encourage and do what we can to help.

However, in some cases, we are doing no favors with all the rah rah talk - we are actually hurting them.

I think many people that want to have a successful online business are this way. Some have the talent, the know-how, the discipline, the brains, the work ethic, the personality, etc. to succeed. Others not so much. I think encouraging them doesn't help anyone.

Mark

Hey Mark,

Interesting point you've put forward there and I agree. However, internet marketing is a lot easier to become good at then playing professional basketball.

There is a world of information out there on how to earn a living online and there is no set amount of spots as there is in the NBA. Literally anyone can become successful online so long as they have an internet connection and dedication. The biggest part about it is staying dedicated, which is what the positive affirmations help with.

Cheers, Zach.

Thanks
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Mark Singletary

8 years ago

Zach,

I believe the reason the OP posted this is because of an ongoing "war" he has with Big Frank.

The OP is one of those types that says things like "believe in yourself and you can achieve all". Big Frank is one of those types that is a little bit more direct and realistic.

For example, one of the latest threads is by someone that has tried for years to make money online. Everything she has tried she has quickly quit so she has not seen any success. She's here crying out in "desperation" for anyone to help her see the way. When people point out things she was defensive though and it is apparent that she is not likely to change.

Now there are 2 questions:

1. Can she succeed in an online business? I believe she could. I believe she could do something like make $10 a day or she could rise to the top and become known as a "guru".

What will it take? For her to stop doing everything she is doing and has been doing that has gotten her to this point and radically change her direction. She needs a new mindset, a new work ethic, a new attitude, a new start, learn and apply proper marketing, the right product or service, etc. and then she needs to stick to it making adjustments as required.

If she doesn't she will keep spinning her wheels. She will NOT succeed. In 7 more years she'll be back wondering if there is any hope.

Her attitude indicated that she wasn't going to change.

So now to question 2. What should our advice be?

Should it be to believe in yourself and all things are possible? Or is something a little more direct, a little more pushy, a little more realistic better for her.

No matter how much she believes, until she changes she will NOT succeed. People that say otherwise are not helping but are hurting. They are "lying" to her and filling her with false hope.

If people present their help with a little more reality built-in, people like the OP think they are tearing down the down and out and not giving them a chance by criticizing them, etc.

Is that true though? The fact is that most people need a wake up call before they finally are willing to work on their marriage, or finally willing to lose weight, or finally to finish their degree, or finally to see success in an online business. They need a moment of clarity that they can build from. False hope does not help them get that clarity.

Some of these people have been believing and staying the course for YEARS and haven't made a dime yet. They are paying hosting and an autroesponder account every month but they keep on trucking and keep on believing and keep on digging a hole for themselves.

I think the answer, as far as trying to be helpful here, is a balance. We want to encourage people but we need to do it in a way that is likely to work - that is based on reality. This is where many of the keep believing crowd fall down - they don't know how to make it happen, don't know what's realistic, don't know how to market, etc. but surely if the person keeps on keeping on success will find them someday.

Mark

Originally Posted by ZachAlfaro

Hey Mark,

Interesting point you've put forward there and I agree. However, internet marketing is a lot easier to become good at then playing professional basketball.

There is a world of information out there on how to earn a living online and there is no set amount of spots as there is in the NBA. Literally anyone can become successful online so long as they have an internet connection and dedication. The biggest part about it is staying dedicated, which is what the positive affirmations help with.

Cheers, Zach.

[ 2 ] Thanks
2 replies

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Jonathan 2.0 8 years ago

Thanks, guys. I appreciate the responses.

Something I have to say is that my advice/post is more relevant to a certain percentage of people. Those that are determined to succeed at "IM/Entrepreneurship" and are more suited to that "profession" are the people I'm most communicating with.

Even so, I think my advice applies to anything a person wants to accomplish. There will always be people that don’t want others to succeed..

Ignore them and create the life that you want.
: )
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"Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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ZachAlfaro

8 years ago

Hey Mark,

Thanks for taking the time to write that post, I've actually bookmarked it to re-read again at some point!

I really like your view of the whole matter, but I guess it all comes down to that different people need different advice.

I completely agree with the example that you've highlighted. Someone like that needs to choose a proven method to earn online (not some shitty get rich quick thing) and she needs to stick with it, and improve upon it. Then once she has stuck with it she can begin reading these 'believe in yourself' things. But the core part to that is having a method that works and not continually changing strategies or jumping to the next fad.

On the other hand, if you've got someone who is making a few dollars here and there with a strategy that they've stuck with and works then they should be reading these types of posts. Maybe they don't have a good support network of friends and family and need to get their support and inspiration from these forums.

Cheers, Zach.

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

Zach,

I believe the reason the OP posted this is because of an ongoing "war" he has with Big Frank.

The OP is one of those types that says things like "believe in yourself and you can achieve all". Big Frank is one of those types that is a little bit more direct and realistic.

For example, one of the latest threads is by someone that has tried for years to make money online. Everything she has tried she has quickly quit so she has not seen any success. She's here crying out in "desperation" for anyone to help her see the way. When people point out things she was defensive though and it is apparent that she is not likely to change.

Now there are 2 questions:

1. Can she succeed in an online business? I believe she could. I believe she could do something like make $10 a day or she could rise to the top and become known as a "guru".

What will it take? For her to stop doing everything she is doing and has been doing that has gotten her to this point and radically change her direction. She needs a new mindset, a new work ethic, a new attitude, a new start, learn and apply proper marketing, the right product or service, etc. and then she needs to stick to it making adjustments as required.

If she doesn't she will keep spinning her wheels. She will NOT succeed. In 7 more years she'll be back wondering if there is any hope.

Her attitude indicated that she wasn't going to change.

So now to question 2. What should our advice be?

Should it be to believe in yourself and all things are possible? Or is something a little more direct, a little more pushy, a little more realistic better for her.

No matter how much she believes, until she changes she will NOT succeed. People that say otherwise are not helping but are hurting. They are "lying" to her and filling her with false hope.

If people present their help with a little more reality built-in, people like the OP think they are tearing down the down and out and not giving them a chance by criticizing them, etc.

Is that true though? The fact is that most people need a wake up call before they finally are willing to work on their marriage, or finally willing to lose weight, or finally to finish their degree, or finally to see success in an online business. They need a moment of clarity that they can build from. False hope does not help them get that clarity.

Some of these people have been believing and staying the course for YEARS and haven't made a dime yet. They are paying hosting and an autroesponder account every month but they keep on trucking and keep on believing and keep on digging a hole for themselves.

I think the answer, as far as trying to be helpful here, is a balance. We want to encourage people but we need to do it in a way that is likely to work - that is based on reality. This is where many of the keep believing crowd fall down - they don't know how to make it happen, don't know what's realistic, don't know how to market, etc. but surely if the person keeps on keeping on success will find them someday.

Mark

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siwell16

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

I agree that positive thinking, ignoring most critics, sticktoitiveness, and more are required to succeed in anything.

However, in many cases all the positive thinking and believing we can do it in the world will do NO good and will actually harm us. For example, if I'm a 50 year old, overweight 5' 9" person, that has never played basketball at any competitive level it is extremely unlikely that no matter what I say to myself I can succeed in the NBA.

Should I waste my time talking about, planning, dreaming, and believing I can be successful in the NBA even when everything screams there's no way. I think you would say yes but I would disagree.

Should I do everything in my power to build up my mindset and then go and do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals and fix my problems in areas that I actually have a chance? I think we would both agree we should.

I think miracles can happen, dreams come true, and people can overcome incredible odds. I think we should encourage and do what we can to help.

However, in some cases, we are doing no favors with all the rah rah talk - we are actually hurting them.

I think many people that want to have a successful online business are this way. Some have the talent, the know-how, the discipline, the brains, the work ethic, the personality, etc. to succeed. Others not so much. I think encouraging them doesn't help anyone.

Mark

Interesting point of view Mark but I would have to disagree with you when it comes to internet marketing. Internet Marketing is just like any other job you have to study and train to be great. It's not about natural talent it's about work ethics,persistance and having the right mindset.

You have to have that drive to never give up, never stop learning, never stop testing, and always look a way to improve your skills.

This is what really seperates someone who wants to make a living as an internet marketer from someone who is just trying to make a fast dollar or two.

Thanks
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Mark Singletary

8 years ago

I'm not sure what I wrote that you disagree with. I agree with everything you say.

But the OP has a different point of view from what I understand.

Read his post. He says nothing about work ethics, learning, growing, busting your tail, improving your skills, testing, tweaking, etc.

He says "just believe in yourself".

And he and others do a big disservice to people here who have believed in themselves to the point of practical bankruptcy. They have bought tons of programs and stopped and started and have no clue what they are doing. They come here saying they have spent years and thousands of dollars and they are on the verge of losing their marriage and their house because of this.

And people like the OP say "don't give up", "believe in yourself and you will succeed".

That is NOT what needs to be said.

What needs to be said is STOP doing what you are doing - just quit it. Get a grip on this business before you make another move. Believing isn't going to do squat for you until you quit buying stuff and start selling stuff. Take down the crappy/scammy site where you teach people to make millions when you are practically living out of your van. Do it the right way or don't do it.

The OP can't take this sort of advice because he believes it is critical and hurts the person's chances for success. So he says "just believe in yourself and you'll succeed".

That attitude may soothe out fears and help people have peace but it will NOT help them make a living and get out of the hole they are in.

Do they need to believe? Yes! While they are doing what they should be doing and stopping what they should be stopping. Do they need to stick to it? Of course as long as what they are sticking to is the right direction.

Belief only gets you so far. At some point you have got to DO the right things and do them consistently while you are testing and tweaking along.

Mark

Originally Posted by siwell16

Interesting point of view Mark but I would have to disagree with you when it comes to internet marketing. Internet Marketing is just like any other job you have to study and train to be great. It's not about natural talent it's about work ethics,persistance and having the right mindset.

You have to have that drive to never give up, never stop learning, never stop testing, and always look a way to improve your skills.

This is what really seperates someone who wants to make a living as an internet marketer from someone who is just trying to make a fast dollar or two.

Thanks
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Jonathan 2.0

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

The OP can't take this sort of advice because he believes it is critical and hurts the person's chances for success. So he says "just believe in yourself and you'll succeed"

That's completely wrong, Mark. Nowhere in my post did I say "Just believe in yourself and you'll succeed." That's not why I wrote it and is not the message I'm communicating. In fact I appreciate that sometimes a person has to stop doing what they're doing if they want to be successful.

That said, it's my personal opinion that if a person doesn't believe in themselves (including when other people don't want them to be successful) then they won't succeed.

That is why I wrote the post:

To empower people to keep taking action and believe in their dreams when other people would rather see them "fail."

Thanks
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Mark Singletary

8 years ago

Belief in yourself when you are doing everything wrong does you NO good. People that point that out aren't trying to put people down or derail their dreams in most cases. They are trying to help people see the right way.

Many of the messages about positive thinking implies that that is THE KEY to success and it just isn't. It's part of the picture - an important part but it's not the whole thing.

Look if I believe in myself and I believe that I can succeed in online marketing and so what I've been doing the last 7 years is digging a hole in my back yard is all that belief coupled with wrongheaded action going to get me anywhere? No. It will not.

Yet many people, not knowing or understanding what I'm doing will say "just believe in yourself and keep working hard and you'll succeed."

You can say my example is ridiculous but some of the stories here are very similar in how wrong people have been doing things for years.

Somebody like me or others will come along and say something you and others deem as critical or putting someone down or whatever. We are the dream killer because we try to give a dose of reality.

People need to understand they will probably fail if they are like most people here. Those that really believe in themselves can take it and move on in the right direction. They need to understand it's not about belief so much as what you do every day and how you do it. It's about tweaking and testing and learning new skills. It's about stopping the crazy pie in the sky thinking and getting on with what needs to happen to be successful.

Mark

Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0

That's completely wrong, Mark. Nowhere in my post did I say "Just believe in yourself and you'll succeed." That's not why I wrote it and is not the message I'm communicating. In fact I appreciate that sometimes a person has to stop doing what they're doing if they want to be successful.

That said, it's my personal opinion that if a person doesn't believe in themselves (including when other people don't want them to be successful) then they won't succeed.

That is why I wrote the post: To empower people to keep taking action and believe in their dreams.
: )

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Jonathan 2.0

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

Many of the messages about positive thinking implies that that is THE KEY to success and it just isn't. It's part of the picture - an important part but it's not the whole thing.

It's not just important. It's a prerequisite. (IMO.) That is, the vast majority of people will not be successful unless they believe in themselves.

For many people that's the missing component: They have sound business ideas and a good worth ethic however because they don't believe in themselves (especially when faced with "failure") they won't accomplish their dreams. Again, belief in one's self is required for Entrepreneurial success.

And because it's essential to success, I'm going to keep writing posts like this one.
: )

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Mark Singletary

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0

It's not just important. It's a prerequisite. (IMO.) That is, the vast majority of people will not be successful unless they believe in themselves.

I agree.

For many people that's the missing component: They have sound business ideas and a good worth ethic however because they don't believe in themselves (especially when faced with "failure") they won't accomplish their dreams.

This where we disagree. Most of the people on this forum that get "criticism" do NOT have a good work ethic and do NOT have sound business ideas. They are jumping from one shiny object to another. They are selling how to get rich stuff and they can't get traffic to their own site. They are selling frauds and scams. They are lying in their copy. And 100 other things.

It's like the guy that wasn't selling any ebooks. You said that even after promoting and marketing it if it still didn't sell you would advise them to never give up.

But you didn't say the rest that needed to be said which is one or all of the following;

"No one wants to buy your book so let's find one they want to buy and sell that one instead."

"If you are doing your best and are marketing the right way and no one is buying, there are serious issues that need to be resolved. Maybe your cover needs reworking/sucks. Maybe you need to redo your website. Maybe the fact that you use Gmail instead of a domain based email is hurting you. Maybe you aren't using enough sales talk to get people to buy. Maybe people think your book is too short."

"What exactly are you doing to market the book. You need tweaks it sounds like."

And because it's essential to success, I'm going to keep writing posts like this one.
: )

And because that is an important part but not the part that holds most people back, I'm going to keep writing posts like the ones I write that can truly help people with more than just rah rah rah.

Mark

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Jonathan 2.0

8 years ago

Everyone who wants to succeed at IM (especially those who are struggling/failing and those who have tried everything in the past) have to believe in themselves.

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Mark Singletary

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0

Everyone who wants to succeed at IM (especially those who are struggling/failing and those who have tried everything in the past) have to believe in themselves.

And that won't do them a darn bit of good without doing what needs to be done in the right way consistently.

If you want to help people, quit pretending that belief puts money in the bank. These guys are broke and going homeless because they believe but they are doing the wrong things in the wrong way.

Mark

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siwell16

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

And that won't do them a darn bit of good without doing what needs to be done in the right way consistently.

If you want to help people, quit pretending that belief puts money in the bank. These guys are broke and going homeless because they believe but they are doing the wrong things in the wrong way.

Mark

You both have great points! Belief is very important but don't be stupid. You must believe in yourself not so much as the product or service. The product or service could suck and not be worth your money or time. But your worth is believing in!

That's what I believe Johnathan meant to convey in his message. Believe in yourself and that all things are possible but at the same time be practical. If your trying a method and it's not working chances are the method may a load of BS.

Keep documents, check data, compare with others that are using the same method and see if you are doing something wrong. Never blindly believe that something will work just because someone said it or because it worked for someone else.

Belief, Act, Analyze, and Adjust!

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Jonathan 2.0

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

It's like the guy that wasn't selling any ebooks. You said that even after promoting and marketing it if it still didn't sell you would advise them to never give up.

But you didn't say the rest that needed to be said which is one or all of the following;

"No one wants to buy your book so let's find one they want to buy and sell that one instead."

Yes. Exactly. : ) (Also known as "Never giving up.")

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ezcashlover

8 years ago

Nice one Jonathan 2.0... i loved it!

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Trey Morgan

8 years ago

Great advice as usual Jonathan. Success requires you step up and take responsibility for what happens in your life. Stop hoping and praying for a better life and do something about it. Who cares what people have to say about you and your ambitions. Yes we're humans, we're emotional, and we naturally want to stay in our comfort zones, but staying in your comfort zone will only bring you more of the same.

If you want things to change in your life, you will have to change. There is no way around that.

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jordand870

8 years ago

Self-Discipline

Persistence

Passion

Those are three must-haves in my opinion to increase your chances of success. Look Elon Musk interviews, or Steve Jobs interviews. The ultra successful ones speak highly on those three.

Jordan S. Daniels

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SuccesfulIideas

8 years ago

I agree! set your mind to your goal and continue to improve yourself, to build confidence and you know what you are doing

once you know what you are doing you will believe that you can do anything in spite of failure and rejections, continue to improve yourself is the most important thing

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EntrepreneurFix

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0

There will be people in your life that don't believe you can
be a successful Entrepreneur. They will try to discourage
you from accomplishing your ambitions. (Maybe because
they don't have the courage to accomplish their dreams.)

Don't listen to them: Your success is your success.

Maybe more than any other factor, your belief in yourself is
what will make you successful. It's easy to believe in yourself
in the beginning and when everything is going well, however,
it's when you're faced with setback and/or "failure" that your
belief will really be tested.

This is what separates the "Winners" from the "Losers."

The vast majority of people will give up at this point. Why?
Simply because they don't believe they have what it takes to
be successful. Some people will still believe in themselves
and look at "failure" as a learning experience that will take
them closer to their goals. As I learned from my Brother
(Erny):

There's no such thing as failure. Either
you accomplish your goal or you learn
something. Either way, you win.

If you just remember that one piece of advice you will be in
the top percentage of people who make their Entrepreneurial
dreams a reality.

Here are 2 tips to build your self-confidence:

1. Remember you previous successes. You have
accomplished much more than you realize. Everything
from learning how to walk and talk to getting your first job,
your life can be looked at like a series of little successes

2. Consider "programming" your brain with empowering
affirmations. To make them more influential, write them
down and meditate on them every day right before and after
sleeping. A good one to get you going is:

"I can accomplish anything I set my mind
to."

Finally, don't be concerned with those people that don't
believe in you. They're there as a "test" and it's something
that almost every successful Entrepreneur had to deal with.

Good luck.
: )

Thank you very much! I needed this.

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Jonathan 2.0 8 years ago

Originally Posted by EntrepreneurFix

Thank you very much! I needed this.

Welcome. : ) Happy you found it helpful.
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siwell16

8 years ago

Thanks for the motivating words Johnathan 2.0

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Jonathan 2.0 8 years ago

Originally Posted by siwell16

Thanks for the motivating words Johnathan 2.0

Welcome. : )
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