How To Deal With Negative People

17 replies
Dear Warriors,

The road to success is not always an easy one.

While it is certainly possible for success to come easy for some people, for most of the success stories I've read, success did not come easily.

Many people have earned their success the hard way walking down the path that many others walked before.

Whatever path to success you choose, you will face many challenges along the way.

It is easy to get frustrated at technical challenges, intellectual challenges, financial challenges, emotional challenges etc. but all these challenges are part and parcel of what is going to build you into a success story one day.

At several points in your journey to success you will come across some negative minded people.

Instead of helping you on your way to success they will hinder you.

I've encountered a fair share of negative people on my journey so I thought I'd take the time to share some guidelines on how to deal with them.

No doubt this post will probably even attract of few of these negative people and maybe you will get a live example on how to deal with them.

How To Spot A Negative Person
  • They have a bad attitude without any apparent reason
  • They hardly have anything positive to say
  • They hardly offer anything of value
  • They are often very sarcastic
  • They are the least helpful of people
  • They are better at offering criticism than at offering valuable feedback
  • They have many ideas on how you can't do something but hardly any ideas on how you can do something
  • They are always blaming people for their failures
  • They have too much time on their hands and nothing positive to do with it
  • They waste their time on pointless discussions
  • They don't do anything to improve their own lives
  • They are always looking for attention
  • They butt into conversations which don't concern them
  • They lack basic etiquette or manners which most people have
  • They lack the communication skills to say what they need to say without getting emotional and abusive
  • They say the first thing that come to their minds without allowing their brains to process their thoughts first
So what is with these negative people anyway?

Why are they full of negativity?

What is the cause of their negativity?

From my experience there are many reasons why negative people are the way they are.

Here are some of the reasons:
  • The people they associate with are negative
  • They were brought up by negative minded people who didn't teach them the value of diversity
  • They weren't taught to respect people regardless of their differences
  • They live in a bubble cut off from the rest of the world
  • They have personal issues going on in their lives which they need to take out on someone
  • They don't know how to deal with the issues they have
  • They paint everyone with the same brush
  • They find it easier to blame others for their issues or lack of success than make the effort to create their own success
  • They think that their way is the only way
  • They don't realise that there is more than one way to solve a problem
  • They are selfish
  • They don't have a life
These are just some of the reasons off the top of my head. There may be many more. Feel to add any other reasons below.

So What Is The Best Way To Deal With Negative People?

There are a number of ways to deal with negative people.

If people are genuinely experiencing personal issues in their lives which they subconsciously taking out on you, then you can only feel sorry for such people but it's often very difficult to know this straight away.

1. From experience whenever I come across a negative person I try to be patient and wait a while before I respond because I understand that some people might be having personal issues which they might be offloading onto you.

If after trying to be patient and nice and bearing up with their negativity for a while you find that people are still going out of their way to be negative towards you then you have several options.

2. You can let the negative person know that their negativity is not very helpful and it is a problem.

3. If that person continues to be negative then like for e.g. if they butt into a conversation which doesn't concern them without adding any value to the discussion and are being negative and disrespectful at the same time I will engage them directly and ask them why they are doing that. In such a situation be prepared to experience even more negativity and hatred.

If the person is just going through a bad phase in their life and it is not usually their nature to be that way they will usually apologize for their behaviour and make an effort to be a bit more positive or at the very least, not negative in the future.

4. On the other hand there are people who react in a very bad way. This is often an indication of deep rooted personal issues which cannot be resolved overnight.

At this stage they usually sink to the lowest of levels and do the craziest things to try to bring you down to their level. This is another sign that you're dealing with a negative person with issues.

If you find yourself at this stage where people are still not willing to admit their mistake and are going out of their way to be negative then at this stage there is not much else you can do. I usually completely ignore them and let them make a fool of themselves.

Since negative people love attention, if you deny them that attention they will not be able to offload their negativity on you.

Therefore if you're trying to walk the path of success then it will might be a good idea to avoid negative people as much as possible.

Instead of helping you on your way to success they will only rob you of your time and energy.

5. I know some marketers who love getting negative messages because they take them and turn them into case studies. They call the negative person out (without naming them) and make them realise the error of their ways. Instead of making them look bad it makes them look good. This is always an option of course.

Once you've mastered the art of dealing with negative people you will find that life will become much easier.

You will be able to focus much better on your goals and be more productive.

You will able to sail through life unhindered by negative people.

I hope this post has been helpful in some way.

Please feel free to share your experiences about this below.
#deal #negative #people
  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Yes.

    Attack and the grammer gets more colorful, withdrawl, and lesser so.

    But this month particularly some have been on edge, to put it mildly.

    I know Horoscope readings are crap, blah, blah, but skeptic or believers we are all subject to the same planetary alignments.

    Try to get a skeptic to buy something electronic in a bad month and they will no matter how much therapy they get will have an uphill battle trying to do so!

    I tried that one month, (without knowing what my horoscope said) and it was one dead end after another.

    But wait til, it ends, almost immediate success!

    January has been the worst month, probably of the year, and a skeptic will be dragged through a shi*** month just as much as a believer.

    Although they will put it down to bad luck,....groan.

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  • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
    I usually just avoid or ignore negative people. They're like vampires trying to drain you of your energy.
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    • Profile picture of the author CapY
      Thank you for a nice post with a great value you have added here.
      From my point of view, the most and simplest way on How To Deal With Negative People is just to stay away from them. Nothing more, nothing less.
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    • Profile picture of the author irawr
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Trey Morgan View Post

      I usually just avoid or ignore negative people. They're like vampires trying to drain you of your energy.
      Definitely.

      They're always willing to tell you about themselves but use vocabulary to indicate they are talking about you or your ideas.

      I've had people say the following to me:

      "You'll never get that to work :laugh:" <- No, YOU won't get that to work and YOU won't even try.

      "You're going to stress yourself out and have a heart attack." <- Or, I'll not be able to afford my hospital bill and die from overwork at an older age.

      "Yeah OKAY!" <- Sarcastic remark from a person who still works the same job they had when I told them about an idea I had, which ended up working pretty well and is one of my better projects, granted it didn't do as well as I said it could.

      "So why don't you quit your job?" <- Smart ass remark from a person who did not understand that I wanted to save up a specific amount of money before I quit my part time poop job. I was putting 70+ hours a week into my business at the time and 25 hours in there. Also at that moment in time I could not justify it since I knew leaving would not actually increase my income. I finished up another project which demanded more time then I had and then I left.

      In hindsight: quitting that job did not actually help me, at least not immediately. I wasn't used to not having to work around a schedule. I felt lost for many months before I got into a routine that worked for me. I've heard this from other people and it seemed to take about six months before I was totally over that job and was able to focus 100% on running my business.
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      • Profile picture of the author anwar001
        Originally Posted by irawr View Post

        Definitely.

        They're always willing to tell you about themselves but use vocabulary to indicate they are talking about you or your ideas.

        I've had people say the following to me:

        "You'll never get that to work :laugh:" <- No, YOU won't get that to work and YOU won't even try.
        Very nice observation about negative people. They can really get on your nerves. They try to force their advice on you and get upset when you won't do as you are told by these "experts" who usually have a negative viewpoint of everything around them.

        Your example rocks. It demonstrates nicely how they will speak about themselves and their habits but make it sound as if they are talking about you. The truth is they usually think everyone is like them. If they can't do a thing or find something difficult or if something didn't work for them, they automatically assume it would be same for everyone. What nerves!!!

        The simple best way to deal with them is to ignore and try to stay as much away from them as possible. Try not to get into an argument with them. It may just lead to wasted time and energy as well as immense frustration or irritation. Even if you prove them wrong, instead of admitting their mistake or trying to improve they will just get angry with you or attack you in some other way.

        As birds of same feather flock together so should positive, cheerful people associate with their like. Same way negative people would only be appropriate companions to other negative folks. End of story!
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    so basically .. you need to become a hermit and avoid talking to the rest of the human race ..

    now lets be honest .. to the person who posted .. and those who responded ..

    you all never do anything on the list of negative people ?


    im bi polar an high functioning autistic ..and i live in a house where im being poisoned by toxic black mold so i fall in to about 70 percent of that list from time to time ..

    in any case you can't escape negativity ..it flooded into us by all channel..even worse on the internet ..

    for the last 20 years they have tried to create environments free of criticism and ..safe for people to grow up in.. and you get the mess that college is now ..when if a professor give some people less than an a.. that person then becomes a complete emotional wreck .. fragile little flowers ..

    the real world sucks .. the only negative people you need to deal with .. are the ones who will activly try and stop you ..and the ones who are just voicing the negativity that you are trying to lock away inside yourself ,,

    you will never be able to really accept your success ..if you don't weed out the negativeity within yourselof ..

    if yo believe in the law of attraction at all ..these people are not just their randoimly ..they are registering in your perception because you are creating that version of them..
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  • Profile picture of the author mustafavanancio
    Odahh, I think you may have misunderstood my post.

    If someone has a valid reason to be frustrated and maybe a bit negative at times then that is quite understandable.

    This post is mainly aimed at people who don't have a valid reason for being negative but go out of their way to offload their negativity on you. I'm referring to the ones that are habitually negative.

    I know we live in an imperfect and often negative world but does mean we have to allow that negativity to affect our lives and does it mean we have to take it out on others?

    We can choose to turn negative experiences into positive ones.

    We can choose the way we experience life to a large degree.

    We don't have to let certain people who don't have anything positive to offer us, to affect us and ruin the experiences we would like to have.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    everyone has their reasons for being the way they are just because you do not know it..doesn't mean it is not their ..

    at this point mid winter with the combination of all the condition i am in every day is a struggle to get through ..

    it not and never will be them who stop you or bring you down..it's you who put them there to stop you or be negative ..

    just because someting is negative or someone is negative..does not mean it is bad ..

    it is the struggles we must over come.. the problems we must solv .. the challenges we face..and push through..that we will remember when making it when we get there where ever there is ..

    so if negativity is there ..over and over and over again..why are you putting it there ..

    anyway .. im pushing through a very heavy cloud of depression right now .. so i might be difficult to understand ..

    reframing how you view things or challenging your perception .. may be a better strategy ..many times your are view a person one way and every one else views them another..so you are percieving somone as negative.. when they may only be negative around you..or because you are there ..
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    see you might initially percieve some one as negative ..because maybe the have a tooth ach and they have a misserable look on their face or they are in some type of pain .. or hade an argument with someone before you came in contact with them ..

    from there you have the impression this person is negative..so you filter out anything about that person that may not agrree with you perception and you can be near them for many hours and .. 95 percent of the time they are fine .. but if for five minutes of that 3 hours they are negative ..that is all you will register
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  • Profile picture of the author Reddevil007
    Excellent article you got there OP!
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  • Profile picture of the author mustafavanancio
    Odahh I understand what you're saying. Thanks for taking the time to explain.

    I can't understand how difficult it must be for you and please believe me when I say this that most of what I've said doesn't apply to you.

    If I was in your situation I would probably find it difficult too.
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    • Profile picture of the author Enfusia
      In reality you have to move on from people who are negative.

      You can't be around them or sooner or later you'll start to take on some of their traits.

      You don't need to be rude, just move on. If they ask you why, ask them, do you really want to know?

      If they say yes, then tell them in the most positive way possible.

      Thank you, Patrick
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by mustafavanancio View Post

      Odahh I understand what you're saying. Thanks for taking the time to explain.

      I can't understand how difficult it must be for you and please believe me when I say this that most of what I've said doesn't apply to you.

      If I was in your situation I would probably find it difficult too.
      no one has it easy.. and those who seem to..usually end up messed up worse than many who had it hard ..

      not very long a few years ago i was one of the most misserable negative people you could meet ..now i wasn't taking it out on everyone or dumping on everyone ..but i had a cultivated aura that said leave me the f^^ alone ..

      in any case there are still time depending on the weather and how much pain i am in ..and how the chemicles in my brain are fluttering around ..that i can seem prety negative ..

      now i have peeled back many of the onion layers of what is going on with me ..and identified ..what i need to do to fix..the things i am able to fix now..because there are things i can't right now address ..

      now bringing this back to the original post..and changes to the concept ..


      most people are stuck in their problems and have no clue ..what the causes of the problems are or that the problems can be fixxed ....or how ..

      people in this state ..and most people basically..if you openly talk about what you are working on or trying to improve ..or something you have figured out that will help you with it ..

      people who have not decided to do anything about their problem..or feel hopeless about being able to do anything about their problems .. who are stuck in those problems ... will very rarly if every have a favorable responce.. or be supportive of your ideas ..and if one of these people does respond enthusiastically to your ideas..they are probably conning you or setting you up to look like a fool ..

      now ..if you want to remove negative people from your life .. you are probably left to hiding in your home or living high up on a mountain away from every one else .. going far off grid ..

      or you can live in the world..and assume .. nearly every one you deal with has had a ton of crap happen to them and has a ton of reasons for being the way they are that you would rather not know unless you are a bartender or a shrink ..

      i have had people be negative to me my entire life and at this point ,, i have a defence system set up..for when people get negative ..when it is directed at me and there is no good reason for the negativity ..if i can ignore you and never deal with you again .. if you are getting negative on me and i will have to deal with you regularly .. i will rip you apart ..

      so to end dealing with people when they are negative.. if they are just negative.. understand they are human.. if they aim the negativity at you ..defend yourself and take measures to make sure it does not happen again ..

      but you have to apply nearly the same measure of what you will tolerate to everyone ..
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  • That post was so negative! lol just kidding. anyways you have to have the right perspective about "negative people" like my fiancee is a very positive person. But she also has a chemical imbalance in her brain and has major depression When she doesn't take her medicine she is one of the most negative people i know.. But when she's on the medicine (anti depressant) she is literally the most optimistic/positive person i have ever seen. Basically what i'm trying to say is we need to figure out a way to inject some "internet anti depressants" into the negative people on the forums and on the internet in general

    <3 you guys

    Thanks
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by TotalWebsiteControl View Post

      That post was so negative! lol just kidding. anyways you have to have the right perspective about "negative people" like my fiancee is a very positive person. But she also has a chemical imbalance in her brain and has major depression When she doesn't take her medicine she is one of the most negative people i know.. But when she's on the medicine (anti depressant) she is literally the most optimistic/positive person i have ever seen. Basically what i'm trying to say is we need to figure out a way to inject some "internet anti depressants" into the negative people on the forums and on the internet in general

      <3 you guys

      Thanks
      just depressed not bi polar yet ..

      i can't take any medicine,, as it destroyed my energy level and cause me to go from 180 to 250 .. and the the weight made me feel like crap ..

      about 50 percent or more of people in the US are on some prescribed medication for mood.. and a large number of the rest .. either drink, or do some trafficked drug ..

      in a society like The USa or those that have been americanized .. when you are never satisfied with what you have..and constantly let to be made miserable by what you don't have or what others do ..it's hard not to be miserable and negative

      you put people in shows on tv ..in sitcome..have them work jobs that make 20-40 thousand a year at most .. but the lifestyles they lead on tv would easily run 2 or 3 times that income to have in the real world ..and you bang get millions of people watching to feel like failured or get in deep debt trying to live the lifestyle people on tv live ..

      in the society we have to have the economy function as designed .. you meed most people to have misserable lives so they can go in debt buying stuff to feel better about themselves .. and then they get stuck in jobs to pay these debts off ..while getting into new debt.. then when the stuff doesn't work and filling their face with junk food does help and more .. the list of possible medical treatments is long ..

      unfortunatly those that economic model is starting to implode
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  • Profile picture of the author bashca03
    I totally agree with the reasons you have enumerated. Most of it, if not all, are the characteristics of negative people. However, I believe the main reason for that is the way they were raised and the environment they grew up with. Parenthood is a carreer, and is a tough one.
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  • Prevailin' wisdom about what constitutes negativity, especially regardin' the manifestation of vampires, is kinda interestin'.

    What if there is no suckin' of any kind on the part of "the negative"?

    What if they kinda hit on a better flavor of blood an' wanna tell on out against a trad-splashed ticket before time's emergin' vacuum?

    We gotta remember negativity is a defense, an' in a world not unvisited by double negatives (but definitely fulla singular positives), you gotta figure unopposed positivity is an attack on all possible futures insteada some particular ones.

    "This, an' only this."

    I would not wanna suck on that concept for any amounta fango enslavo — if that is not too Mind Warritorial a proclamation.

    *de-vamp*

    Gotta figure how negativity, propulsively transcendent c/o thoughtful dissent, has delivered freedoms in the face of ignorance an' oppression, an' propelled outtaboxy into a muchly desired asset.

    NO is a magnificently suffocatin' bucket into which all manifestations may be tipped.

    She discriminates between duff combinations with unopposable zeal.

    So you gotta invite her in, choose YES or NO wisely, so you can maximise on runnin' out sumwhere with ground ahead.

    Out there in the contentosphere right now, there are big time rumblings on NO.

    Entreprenoors are sayin' NO NO NO to get ahead of their worst *ahem* habits in order to kick max posivitorial ass.

    Why should their say on NO prevail over all?

    Prolly we need a few more entrepreyesors to listen in to the whispers of discontent we got happnin' here in 2016, figure the mood kinda thing, pull on its uniquely momentous mortal capacity for change.

    These are my positively negative thoughts right now.
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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