You Can't Control What Happens To You

35 replies
For instance, I couldn't control developing Social Anxiety,
Depression, And Schizophrenia. However, there was
something that I could control: My response to what
happened
.

As Victor E. Frankl ("Man's Search For Meaning") said:

"Everything can be taken from a man but one
thing: The last of the human freedoms—to
choose one's attitude in any given set of
circumstances."


No matter what happens you can choose how you're
going to respond to your "problems"/challenges. You
can choose your attitude. I simply refused to be
conquered by my problems and ultimately they became
my greatest blessing. : )

Along your path to Entrepreneurial Success you may
meet with "failure." At which point you can either become
discouraged and give up (like most people do) or you
can appreciate it as something that will help you succeed.
If there's a "secret" to success, that would be it.
Learn something from your failures.

The greater you struggle in accomplishing your dreams
—and the more "failure" you experience—the greater
your success. All of the best stories involve people
overcoming extraordinary odds. Decide to be the Hero
of your own Life: Somebody who found the strength to
endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.

This is something that you will remember for the rest of
your Life. That you overcome all your problems and
accomplished your dreams. How? By choosing how to
respond to Life instead of having events control you.
#control
  • Profile picture of the author maggyuzon
    "By choosing how to
    respond to Life instead of having events control you." I totally agree with this. Don't let any situation or unfortunate events control your life.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    that is where the word responsibility ..fits.. it has nothing to do with blame..it is everything about taking control of how you respond to how things happen to you ..
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    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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  • Profile picture of the author RyleyDonkersgoed
    Powerful stuff! That is something that I all ways remind myself of. I can't control the things outside of me, but I can control my actions and reactions and also my mindset.
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  • Profile picture of the author liezlekate
    You can't control what happens to you but you can control your emotions to everything that happens. We really don't have the power over everything. All we can do is be positive and know that whether good or bad, things happen for a reason.
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  • It's all about taking control of our emotions. We should not let anything control us. It's our life and ours alone.
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  • Profile picture of the author hoabantrang
    Sadly that I still cannot control what happen to me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kezzielee
    really inspirational, thank you. I always say you cant control others or situations but you can control how you react to them and like you say ultimately that is where the magic lies.

    I love how you talk about more failures lead to more success, its something i have come to learn, realising that theres no need to be scared to fail!
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    ~ Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid ~
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Cool. Seems like most of you Guys understood my post.
      : )

      I say "seems" because if you don't agree this is one of the most influential posts I could ever share with you, then you haven't grasped the full significance of it.

      That's OK. I'm happy with just planting the "seed" in peoples' minds. There may come a time when you think about what I shared and it will be given new meaning. : )

      Originally Posted by hoabantrang View Post

      Sadly that I still cannot control what happen to me.
      I’ve been there. If I have learned anything its that everything happens for a reason. Right now you may be thinking that your situation can't change but ultimately – if you take a mindset of learning – you will overcome all your problems.

      Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. Feel free to PM me if you need more guidance. : )


      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      that is where the word responsibility ..fits.. it has nothing to do with blame..it is everything about taking control of how you respond to how things happen to you ..
      Absolutely. That's an important aspect. I think it was W. Clement Stone ("The Success Principles") who introduced me into the concept of taking personal responsibility for my Life. When you do that, you can create, un-create, and re-create anything at will.

      I should have titled this post as being: "You can't always control what happens to you." It's my belief that you can influence what happens to you by virtue of the thoughts and actions that you take. Thanks for the post Odahh. : )

      Originally Posted by Kezzielee View Post

      really inspirational, thank you. I always say you cant control others or situations but you can control how you react to them and like you say ultimately that is where the magic lies.

      I love how you talk about more failures lead to more success, its something i have come to learn, realising that theres no need to be scared to fail!
      Welcome. : ) Sometimes “failure” can be scary. However when you take the attitude that it’s something that will make you more successful, it loses all that power and transforms it into something for your benefit.
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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      • Profile picture of the author wordsandthebees
        Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

        Cool. Seems like most of you Guys understood my post.
        : )

        I say "seems" because if you don't agree this is one of the most influential posts I could ever share with you, then you haven't grasped the full significance of it.

        While I agree with you that we can't control what happens to us, and in the majority of cases we can control how we react to it; what we definitely CANNOT control is how other people react to what they see, feel, hear and experience.

        Any person that puts their faith into the expected reaction of another human being is setting themselves up for a fall. Parents, siblings, partners included - you will never be able to 100% rely on another human being; much as we'd like to, I don't think we can even fully rely on ourselves. Even the most controlled and disciplined of people will still have their moments.

        I think your post is extremely influential and, for the most part, I agree wholeheartedly!

        Thanks for the thread
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  • Profile picture of the author avasummerdiaz
    That's true. That's why we have to focus on what is happening at the present and be mindless of what might happen in the future. Let's all be surprised and just enjoy eve moment we're living. We can't turn back the time, after all.
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  • Profile picture of the author felisitie
    Awesome post! I am encouraged not to give up because of adversities that may come my way and not to let them define me because the power to overcome them lies within me.
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  • Profile picture of the author JDNinjaMarketing
    You're right. You definitely cant control what happens to you but by keeping a positive mindset you can control your reactions to what happens
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    Make Money, Don't Let It Make You
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    • Profile picture of the author blakesienna
      There are really a lot of things that is beyond our control. All we can control is our response towards it. Avoid worrying and remember that everything's happen for a reason.
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  • Profile picture of the author Anthony Shama
    first thank you for sharing such a great lesson.
    i learn this lesson only 1 year ago, after watching the movie : the shift by wayne dyer. i learn then that event is neutral on it own, we are the one giving it meaning. and we are free to choose how we respond to that situation according to the meaning we give to it.

    However, it is easy to said than done. even we know this lesson, but applying it with every situation require more than just knowing. it is a simple thought, but don't expect it to be easy. it requires constant practicing, just like any other skill. Even wayne himself mention that he cannot control his response each and every time as well, but don't be discourage because the longer you practice, the more percentage of time you can control your response. you may start from 1 control in 100 events, and after 2 to 3 years of practice, you may reach 60 control in 100 events, and that is a good progress. so keep your practice.
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  • Profile picture of the author Samsmiles
    Hi Jonathan

    As someone who has suffered a heart attack, had a double heart bypass, and is the proud possessor of a mechanical heart valve: who also has had a goodly part of his gut removed and now poos in a bag, I agree with you 110%!!
    I am a walking talking freeking miracle!
    If your interested with how I have coped with my little problems I have recently started a blog at http://helpurself2success.com

    Best regards

    Dave (alias samsmiles)
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Hey Dave. Thanks for contributing. Just had a quick look at your Blog - Great stuff. : )
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Ron Lafuddy
      Originally Posted by Samsmiles View Post

      Hi Jonathan

      As someone who has suffered a heart attack, had a double heart bypass, and is the proud possessor of a mechanical heart valve: who also has had a goodly part of his gut removed and now poos in a bag, I agree with you 110%!!
      I am a walking talking freeking miracle!
      If your interested with how I have coped with my little problems I have recently started a blog at http://helpurself2success.com

      Best regards

      Dave (alias samsmiles)
      Good for you, Dave!

      As the hippies used to say "Keep on Truckin'!", my friend.

      I'll check out your blog, too!

      Ron
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  • Profile picture of the author Samsmiles
    Jonathan, Ron,
    Thanks for your kind comments. If anybody has a procrastination problem see my latest post at http://helpurself2success.com
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  • Profile picture of the author Froggys
    Just try to stay focused, and that's all. Improve yourself everyday, it doesn't matter is it ten or one step to improving, step is step, small or big! Just don't go downstairs!
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  • Profile picture of the author Master Blake
    Banned
    More often than not, failure is something you can leverage to become greater.

    Sometimes, you may not realize you've become great due to your struggles.

    AHA!
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by Master Blake View Post

      Sometimes, you may not realize you've become great due to your struggles.
      Amen. Years ago when I was struggling with my illness I thought I was a hopeless wretch. (And I kind of was.) However looking back I could see how much I've accomplished.

      So my message to people reading who may be struggling in Life, keep going. (As Winston Churchill said: "If you're going through Hell, keep going." Many people don't realize how amazing they are. : ) Thanks for the most MB.
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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      • Profile picture of the author Master Blake
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

        Amen. Years ago when I was struggling with my illness I thought I was a hopeless wretch. (And I kind of was.) However looking back I could see how much I've accomplished.

        So my message to people reading who may be struggling in Life, keep going. (As Winston Churchill said: "If you're going through Hell, keep going." Many people don't realize how amazing they are. : ) Thanks for the most MB.
        Keep Going
        Keep Walking


        Keep at it.

        Sure, you might have a couple or a dozen of scars from the field.

        But my sharp pen says, "you write history".

        Better fall from 2000 meters - than...
        stumble
        and
        DIE!
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        • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
          Originally Posted by Master Blake View Post

          But my sharp pen says, "you write history".
          Every day of our lives is a blank sheet that we can write anything that we want.

          Thanks.
          Jonathan
          Signature
          "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • How you look at life also affects the outcome. If you choose to focus on the best of people, most of the time they would rise to the challenge. If you only expect the worst from people then that's what you'll always get.
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    • Profile picture of the author Chillidude
      Originally Posted by John Jonas Phil VA View Post

      How you look at life also affects the outcome. If you choose to focus on the best of people, most of the time they would rise to the challenge. If you only expect the worst from people then that's what you'll always get.
      This.

      At least when it comes to social interactions I believe that you can, to a great degree, influence both what happens to you, and how you take on the world.
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  • It is true: we are all closed loops, fluxin' out on rendez-vouses in a void mutually agreed as existent yet not formed of terrain any twoa us can touch on simultaneously.

    It is as if we are the custodiansa the smartest mirages ever.

    Thing is, when you meet someone, you are prolly reactin' to them reactin' to you.

    So I would wanna smile, if I can.

    I cannot change who I meet, but I can want to wish them well — not in order to have power over them but to smooth up the adventure kinda passively.

    I would not wanna be insincere in this, usin' eyes an' teeth as a meansa control.

    I am thinkin' mebbe of naive smilin' — sum disposition of minor goodwill, wished for with an iron pumped routine of minimal effort an' justa thought, sum simple desire, that mebbe we all could have if we wished it so.

    If pursued without manaical glee — warmin' eyes an' lips fulla antirictus — I figure we got a superindirect meansa control here.

    We do not demand anythin' of anyone we meet.

    We merely wish to be sweet.
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    been a while ...you can't control..but you can contribute ..and provide conditions

    if you want to be poor and desperate your life..spend every dime you make ..and borrow money so you are spending 3to 4 times what the item costs ..hell smoke a pack of cigs a day ..or buy 1 from people for a 1 a cig ..

    want to get really fat get treatment with antibiotic that wipe out your gut flora then eat heavily processed food and diet soda of course ..and use the law of attraction to get the closest parking spot you can to minimize the amount of walking you do ..

    you can't control the events of the world bt you can develop self control
    Signature

    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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  • Profile picture of the author Morna Donaghue
    Banned
    Yes you can't control things but you can control your reactions and how you would deal with it.
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  • Profile picture of the author ivanadee
    Yes! Just focus on what we can control and in this case, it's our mind and attitude. Thanks for pointing this out
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  • Profile picture of the author Froggys
    Guys,how you deal with problems and stuff happening in your life shows what kind of person you are,there are only weak people and strong people.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by Froggys View Post

      Guys, how you deal with problems and stuff happening in your life shows what kind of person you are, there are only weak people and strong people.
      I guess that's true. However at the same time I think a "weak" person can always become a "strong" person. One of the most important components is High Self-Esteem.
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author diaz212
    we can control what happen to out life, the only answer is. Be strong !
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    • Profile picture of the author roeegol
      Stephen Covey says in hi "7 Habits of Highly Successful people" that between what happens to you and your response, there's a gap. In that gap you're free to choose how you react to what happens to you.

      We are the ones that give consent to others to upset us, annoy us, make us angry etc.
      This is not easy but with time and practice you can train your mental muscle to choose how you response to what happens to you.
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  • Profile picture of the author jw22777
    Spot on. You have to be able to roll with the punches. Nothing in life will always go exactly how you want it to. Flexibility is the key.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joyce Birmingham
    That really says it all. The challenge is to have the presence of mind to decide we are still in control rather than let the problem overwhelm us.
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