Unwanted Advice Is Not Help - Everyday Confirmation Bias

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Have you ever gotten into a debate with someone after you offered what you thought was helpful advice?

Shit I've got 4 sisters, 2 baby mamas, a stubborn girlfriend and my mom watches Dr. Oz (she's got to be like his biggest fan or something)....so I've learned to never go there.


Unless I'm willing to roll up my sleeves, and get elbow deep into actually DOING some shit for them, I simply listen (alright, sometimes I only act like I'm listening).

That's all I do.

You know why?

It's been my experience that people simply like to bitch and moan about their problems, but they don't actually want to do anything about it, themselves.

They don't even want your advice.

They think the problem shouldn't be there to begin with.

I think they literally believe their problems are someone else's responsibility to be solved for them.

"Somebody should do something about this."

"It's his fault...blah blah blah"

"You know what that bitch at work said?"

And if you're the one offering to do the thing for them, and it doesn't work, they'll likely blame you for compounding the issue.

Be careful not to waste your time (how the **** do I do this, right?).

The funny thing is, if it doesn't involve them, they're always the first one with some brilliant solution to instantly fix whatever someone else's epic, world crisis problem is.

They think their shit is diamond encrusted brilliance on a golden platter.

It's obvious, isn't it?

They have the solution to whatever someone else's problem is and if whoever has the problem and should be heeding this advice doesn't listen to them then they're just plain idiots.


Well, that's just bullshit.

People, your problems are your problems.

You need to do something about it.

They don't go away on their own and no one else's advice is gonna solve it for you, either, no matter how good it sounds.

Also, stop taking advice from people not willing to actually help you get the problem solved for you or with you.

If you're asking for "what should you do" type questions from people not qualified to help you, you're not really solving the problem, you're simply confirming you're not alone with this particular problem.

"What do you think I should do?"

"How well do you think my product will sell?"

"Do you think my sales page will convert?"

"What do you think of my product?"

All that shit does is get you more confused.

You need to do the shit yourself.

Get your own results.

Find out for yourself if your thing is viable.

You need to test your assumptions, theories, etc.

The fitness trainer can't do your workouts for you.

He can keep you accountable and make sure you do the routines and eat the right foods, etc. (put down the ho hos and ding dongs!).

The doctor can't tell you if your AIDS will go away.

He can prescribe the cocktail, have you back in next month to make sure you're not shooting up any more, measure your progress and keep you accountable, though.

The lawyer has no clue if you're going to jail.

He can look over your evidence, offer you his "expert" opinion and go to bat for you (some don't even get paid unless you win...hint: they're probably not gonna **** with you unless they think they've got a good shot at winning).

You've got to go through "the thing."


Yeah, I know I should be saying something like it's not your fault.
I know that a scapegoat is more useful here.

I get it.

And maybe whatever your pickle wasn't your fault..to begin with.

But, now that you're in the situation, who's responsibility is it, do you think, to get you out?

Same thing in reverse...

You have a way to help someone?



What are you willing to do for them?

How about doing a little of that and then ask for something?

Ask for what?

See if they want you to do more for them in exchange for what you think it's worth.

Don't know what it's worth?

What do they think it's worth?

Is their number ok with you?

Start there.

They don't want to or can't pay you?

How about a testimonial?

How about a referral?

Who else do they know that they could introduce you to that needs whatever it is you sell?

That's useful, right?

Listen, I know you didn't ask me for my advice, but I'm hoping you found it useful, anyway.

If you need my help at all....Just ask.

Useful, yes or no?

Thanks for your time reading this long ass post.



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