How to make yourself likable.

9 replies
I know that people can't please everyone and personality often comes down to taste but I've recently been doing a lot of thinking and pondering on how people are so likable, There are some people that just seem to have it all; they're warm, friendly, fun and everyone seems drawn to them.
In business, it's pretty important that people like you but I also see how this can come off as fake too (although not everyone is looking for anything more than the pleasantries to be fair!)
I know that you give out what's on your inside so you need to be completely happy with yourself before you can genuinely attract people to you but that aside, what is it that makes some people just so 'likable'?

Here's a few things that I've been noticing lately:
1) Empathy.
The people that I like are able to laugh with you when you're happy and cry with you when you're sad. It's not a case of them giving you a shoulder to cry on, they genuinely feel what it is you're going through and this shows and draws toy to them.

2) They show humility.
People who don't brag about their achievements and are gracious to those around them and they acknowledge that you don't get where you are on your own merits - it's a team effort.

3) Vulnerability.
Likable people don't have the brick wall around them that many seem to have, particularly in the business world. They're not afraid to show you when they're scared or don't know the answer to something and this only makes them more likable rather than making them look weak as many are scared to be seen as.

4) They're funny!
Likable people are funny. Now I've never quite been sure if they're funny because everyone likes them, or if people like them because they're funny! What I do know is that people are happy and feel good when they're around people who are making them laugh so this obviously adds to the attraction.

5) They are available.
People are so consumed with what's on the end of their phone these days that it's hard to catch someone in the moment. People are distracted and constantly responding to the beeps coming out of their tablet or laptop. Someone who can put their phone away and concentrate on you when you're in their presence is extremely likable to me.

6) They ask questions.
Being asked a question instantly makes someone feel good about themselves which makes them like the person that's asking the question. Being in the presence of someone who shows a genuine interest in you is sadly quite rare these days and it's definitely a trait held by likable people.

7) They are kind.
Another obvious one but a likable person will put others first and will give things away without a second thought. So many people these days just take what they can get so when someone is forthcoming with buying a coffee or giving away something they're no longer using, it's definitely worth holding onto.

8) They know themselves.
A likable person knows their strengths and weaknesses and is open and honest about them. They won't put their hand up for tasks that they know they're not suited to just to improve their reputation.

I've made this list because it's a list of things that I don't think you can fake. I don't think you can act as though you have any of those qualities and still be seen as a genuinely 'likable' person. What do you think?
#likable #make
  • Profile picture of the author adamcurran
    I thought that said lickable at first!!!

    'LIKEABLE'

    There are a couple of things I wanted to add to this, the points that you've raised are great and I want to tell you some things that I'm always drawn to in people.

    A) They are warm.
    I don't know if you can choose to become warm but sometimes I'll meet a stranger in a business sense generally, and I just want to give them a big hug! I don't know if that makes sense but some people are really warm, caring and it comes off them the second you meet them. Can you learn that?

    B) They have nice eyes.
    I don't think this is something you can choose either but I often find that people can use the words of being nice, friendly, empathetic and all of the other things that you mentioned above, but it is their eyes which are the giveaway. If someone has kind eyes then I instantly like them, otherwise it takes me a bit longer to 'warm' to them.

    Great post, I enjoyed reading it.
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  • Profile picture of the author ivanadee
    I love the point of empathy since it's important to be someone who listens to others and try to help
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  • Profile picture of the author AriCooper
    Read "How to win Friends and influence people" along with the OP's stuff, you're learn how to be a very likable leader...along with how to improve personal relationships (maybe with a spouse).

    It's a solid read.

    I've read it about 5 times now over last few years.

    Keeps me centered!
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  • Profile picture of the author Dharmi
    Great Points..
    I smile and talk politely to become likeable
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    • Profile picture of the author yukon
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Dharmi View Post

      Great Points..
      I smile and talk politely to become likeable


      Really?

      No choke holds or roundhouse kicks?
      Signature
      Hi
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  • Profile picture of the author technotronic
    We live in the world that strongly favors all kinds of virtual likeabilities. I personally have nothing against it. If you can benefit from it and attract some attention for your social media goals and stuff, why not. Yet, I would like to give an advantage to authenticity. Or, the courage to be yourself and not likable at all costs. Have some serious concerns about people who are likable in any situation and regardless of the company of people around them. I just don't feel confident. Maybe, it's just me, or maybe likeability and honesty don't go hand in hand. Interesting thread makes you think for a while, that's for sure. Thx. TT
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  • Profile picture of the author alextrevayne
    Point # 5 is so important nowadays, a lot of people just have their mobile device on their hands all the time. It's really annoying if they are not paying attention to you while you're talking to them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr Blip
    Getting in trance and visualizing myself being an achiever makes me prone to me liking myself first and then others follow suit.
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  • Profile picture of the author james flynn
    Originally Posted by wordsandthebees View Post

    I know that people can't please everyone and personality often comes down to taste but I've recently been doing a lot of thinking and pondering on how people are so likable, There are some people that just seem to have it all; they're warm, friendly, fun and everyone seems drawn to them.
    In business, it's pretty important that people like you but I also see how this can come off as fake too (although not everyone is looking for anything more than the pleasantries to be fair!)
    I know that you give out what's on your inside so you need to be completely happy with yourself before you can genuinely attract people to you but that aside, what is it that makes some people just so 'likable'?

    Here's a few things that I've been noticing lately:
    1) Empathy.
    The people that I like are able to laugh with you when you're happy and cry with you when you're sad. It's not a case of them giving you a shoulder to cry on, they genuinely feel what it is you're going through and this shows and draws toy to them.

    2) They show humility.
    People who don't brag about their achievements and are gracious to those around them and they acknowledge that you don't get where you are on your own merits - it's a team effort.

    3) Vulnerability.
    Likable people don't have the brick wall around them that many seem to have, particularly in the business world. They're not afraid to show you when they're scared or don't know the answer to something and this only makes them more likable rather than making them look weak as many are scared to be seen as.

    4) They're funny!
    Likable people are funny. Now I've never quite been sure if they're funny because everyone likes them, or if people like them because they're funny! What I do know is that people are happy and feel good when they're around people who are making them laugh so this obviously adds to the attraction.

    5) They are available.
    People are so consumed with what's on the end of their phone these days that it's hard to catch someone in the moment. People are distracted and constantly responding to the beeps coming out of their tablet or laptop. Someone who can put their phone away and concentrate on you when you're in their presence is extremely likable to me.

    6) They ask questions.
    Being asked a question instantly makes someone feel good about themselves which makes them like the person that's asking the question. Being in the presence of someone who shows a genuine interest in you is sadly quite rare these days and it's definitely a trait held by likable people.

    7) They are kind.
    Another obvious one but a likable person will put others first and will give things away without a second thought. So many people these days just take what they can get so when someone is forthcoming with buying a coffee or giving away something they're no longer using, it's definitely worth holding onto.

    8) They know themselves.
    A likable person knows their strengths and weaknesses and is open and honest about them. They won't put their hand up for tasks that they know they're not suited to just to improve their reputation.

    I've made this list because it's a list of things that I don't think you can fake. I don't think you can act as though you have any of those qualities and still be seen as a genuinely 'likable' person. What do you think?
    I think availability and humility are one of the most important characteristics which determines the personality of a person especially if you're involved in some sort of business . If your guy is available 24/7 for any trouble related to your product then it shows a spark of humility as well because it clearly tells that the person doesn't brag about his brand name but considers every customer a vital part of his business.
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