Are you being caught between Criticism and Self-Criticism?

4 replies
You can't make the whole world like what you do, write, design, produce, provide, and similar, can you? On the other hand, you can't totally ignore what people have to say or think about your work results, can you? So, what's the catch? How are you supposed to find a healthy balance between criticism and self-criticism? If you go too hard on yourself with the self-criticism routine, you are very likely never to come up with something you can show to the world. Then, you have a completely different situation, if you do the opposite. If you go too easy on yourself, then you are very likely to hit the wall of the merciless criticism that waits for you in the outside world. When you put it like this it doesn't seem like a difficult choice you have to make. However, there's a catch.

In order to achieve something truly amazing, you have to turn off both buttons for self-criticism and criticism. This can allow you to work on your project, app, book, or whatever new and groundbreaking you are trying to present to the world. Nevertheless, if you forget to turn on these buttons, once you are done with the work, or even worse, if it's taking you too long to succeed, then you can find yourself in a danger zone. We are talking about the zone of delusions. What's the alternative? To give up the first critic comes along your way. This also doesn't make any sense to me. It's like there's no way you can come up with a healthy win-win scenario in this situation.

I would really like to know if someone has come up with some kind of a solution for this criticism-self-criticism trap. Even better if you have some real-life example to back up your story. Why? Because I have become tired of all those stories and gurus that all you have to do is to believe in yourself, in this, in that, and you will be just fine. So, have many people are out there being caught between criticism and self-criticism just like me?
#caught #criticism #selfcriticism
  • Profile picture of the author debburns47

    Your post is a little hard to understand but I'll do my best to give you my thoughts.

    1. You say You can't make the whole world like what you do, write, design, produce, provide, and similar, can you? On the other hand, you can't totally ignore what people have to say or think about your work results, can you?

    I don't think what people like is the point at all, not when you're in this business. What's important is what people want and need. Satisfy a strong need or want, find a way to tell people about it and you have success.

    2. People will always criticize. Sift out any useful feedback and discard the rest.

    3. As far as self-criticism goes discard all of it. It's tough enough out there and if you can't be your own biggest supporter what hope do you have? I'm not suggesting you become big headed and unrealistic, but you certainly need to nurture and champion yourself, as well as self-evaluate your performance in a non-critical way.

    4.It's important to accept where you are and what you're capable of right now. Criticizing yourself for not being better is a pointless endeavor. Most of us get into this business because we want a better lifestyle. Being unrealistic and then beating yourself up for not performing to your own expectations is like working for a really bad boss. Be the best boss to yourself that you can be

    I hope that's helpful and good luck.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10907183].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author debburns47
    I've been thinking more about your post and I'd also like to add that it's important to think about why you're doing what you're doing and what you want to achieve.

    I'm primarily a writer, or I thought I was but my main purpose is to build a business online that will give me a good income and the lifestyle I want. It soon became clear that trying to sell ebooks in a saturated market for a couple of dollars wasn't going to get me anywhere fast. So I found a product someone, who knew a lot me about product creation than me, had spent a lot of time and money on, that provides a good return on sales.

    Now I have a great product and all I have to focus on is generating traffic and sales.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10907629].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author technotronic

      You actually made me read my own post one more time, lol. That's not a necessarily bad thing to do every now and then, lol. Yes, I do sound a little bit confusing and lost. It's understandable and acceptable, I hope. My thoughts were really caught between criticism and self-criticism. I also had some realistic expectations about this place. It's hard that someone will come up with a miraculous thought and save me from the trouble of being caught in this endless loop of self-questioning. Yet, at the same time some of the things I read were really, really good and helpful. So, it was worth it.

      Your story actually strengthen my belief that when you feel bad or unpleasant about something that's actually a good thing. Why? Because you are on your way to change something. You said it yourself. You did some writing, then you wanted to do some more and achieve more. That's why, you introduced this product of yours. I'm also thinking about a game changing move. What could it be, I'm not quite sure, but something needs to be done, that's for sure.

      Thank you one more time. I really appreciate when someone actually invest some time and energy in a post. Rest assured I will read your comments at least two more times, lol.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10908042].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author debburns47
    Yes that's right , it's all about our choices and if something's not working we always have the choice to do something else or something differently. Glad I could be helpful.

    To our success

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10908369].message }}

Trending Topics