How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman

I don't get it. People who would watch this video are clearly doing something wrong.

Getting people to like you is not about mirroring or all the crap they label on to it.

It is about making the people you meet feel comfortable to make their own decisions and you act accordingly.

The best book I have read on the subject is "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

It has more common sense tips like "be genuinely interested in the other person." People can pick up on that.

If someone tried to mirror the way I talked etc. I would be little weirded out.

this information isn't wrong, but it's trivial compared to other factors. "context is king." these behaviors matter only if a certain context threshold is already met.

* status
* purpose

status: unfortunately, it doesn't matter how attentive or "open" your body language is if the other person perceives you as low status. it doesn't matter how genuinely curious, polite or charming either. people would rather talk with someone rude and exciting than someone polite and low status. this negative judgment can be based on looks, location of interaction (if you meet at a high status pre-screened event or not) perceived level of access to goods or information, etc.

I heard a story of a girl who inherited a collection of expensive vintage handbags from a relative. suddenly, when she went to art gallery parties people were very friendly with her. did her body language change? no. people recognized these famous hermes handbags and it signaled she was rich. that's all. high status.

purpose: why do you want to be friends with someone?

friendships take time. do you want to go to events together? do you want to encourage each other? do you want to share information about a common interest? what will the other person get from a friendship with you. being friends with lots of people involves spending a lot of time. the currency of time once spent is not regained.

edit: "please share YOUR approach" if status and purpose are already met, then it is good to listen and ask intelligent questions. just listening or curiosity isn't enough. be familiar with a variety of topics especially hobbies (music genres, sports, travel) and continue their own topic of conversation with relevant questions.