Giving up is selfish?

by R0b328
22 replies
As anybody here who's working for their dreams knows, it's really really hard. There's incredible highs and incredible lows. It's supposed to be hard. Otherwise what you want would just be a commodity and it wouldn't be that special.

It's during times of incredible lows I pull out my list of "whys". I did this recently and it made me realize something interesting that I wanted to share, maybe some of you will agree.

Giving up is egotistical. I've never been one to quit, but I obviously have highs and lows just like anybody else. I'm extremely hard-headed when it comes to something I decide is worth having to me and I really want.

I realized giving up is egotistical because it's predicated on focusing on how hard it is for YOU instead of focusing on how many people around you you can help when you succeed.

One powerful thought that I remember when I'm struggling is "it's time to retire my parents" who have taught me unbelievable resilience by emigrating from a country where there wasn't much of a future for us. I think having strong "whys" like that help to push through when it gets tough and it most definitely will.

If you're building your version of success, whatever that looks like, you have to expect it to be hard and get knocked down more times than you expect. But if what you dream of is worth it to you, then there's really no other option.

What do you guys think? Thanks for reading
#giving #selfish
Avatar of Unregistered
  • Profile picture of the author Joyce Birmingham
    I think it's very noble to be thinking in terms of not only helping your immediate family but to be a blessing to all you can.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044624].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author R0b328
      thanks for the reply! I think so too, it can't hurt to add things like that to your list of whys.

      I am not trying to be a saint by any means, of course there are other more materialistic motivators, but certain things just are extremely powerful and deeply motivating to me.

      Seeing the struggles and sacrifices that have been done for me is something that always fuels me.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044626].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    need to retrain your ego and upgrade your idea of selfishness ..

    I have nurtured and retrained my ego and though i do what is best for me it also leads me to ways i can help other people..without that feeling of being put out ..(im hungover so this ones a struggle haha)

    are you doing what you are doing to get rich or become a success at some point in the future ..or is it integrated into how you want to live your life ..the having to give up or facing the prospect of giving up.. is a terrible ego blow ..because you are turning away from the life you want to live

    there is always the risk though that you find something better to jump to once you are egotistical enough to live the best life you can.. you are fine upgrading when ever you want ..if you are not going to hurt those around you ..
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044713].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author R0b328
      haha you did great even hungover! thanks for the reply, interesting input. Just an interesting thought I had. Giving up really never has been a viable option for me I just don't see myself doing anything else, really because I can't. I definitely have motivators in place that are for the life I want, I just find that it really helps to add in things like wanting to help others.

      Maybe I'm not explaining it correctly, giving up has a really different meaning for me. For me I don't really give up on the outcome I want I just try a different approach to achieve the same outcome I want. For example, if it's a product, I don't really get hung up on having to move on. I try to quickly recover and on to the next approach to achieve the same outcome I have always had in mind.

      I'm flexible to changing the vehicle to get to my ultimate outcome, it's the outcome I'm always loyal to if that makes any sense
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044762].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    I understand what you are saying to a point ..the real thing is..if you give up what is the other option ..

    is it get a job do a 9-5 and have a somewhat normal life ..personally i can get a real job..i have to hustle and push and work my ass off ..

    if you want to help others design how you will help people the most into the business or products you do ho help the most people and make money at the same time ..and make enough money to have the life you want ..

    if you doing what your doing just to make money .. then when it gets hard giving up is an option..if there is a lot more built into it.. you really can't give up
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044826].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author R0b328
      Oh ok I see what you're saying I understand.. true I agree with you on some points

      Not really saying that I myself am giving up or even thinking about it, it was just a thought I had that I wanted to share and see what you guys thought about it, and maybe help someone who is considering giving up.

      It's more a documenting of a thought I had and not really saying that I myself am considering that

      But I agree with what you're saying. For many people, practicality is the better option and getting a 9-5 may be more realistic while they build out their online ventures if they so choose.

      For others, it's definitely more of a burn your boats situation and get to the island at all costs. It just really depends on everybody's individual situations
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044847].message }}
  • Hi,
    As far as I know, one of the primary reasons why anyone feels bad about themselves is either you don't focus on your true strengths, or you don't even know what they actually are.

    This helps you in knowing what you are more likely to do better. By doing things that you are good at gives you a sense of relief, pleasure, and confidence.

    Nobody is perfect. You aren't supposed to do everything you see other people are doing. Appreciate people who are good at what they do, and focus on your strengths and what you can do best.

    So don't give a chance to giving up at all. It definitely is boosting the ego of oneself.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044848].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author R0b328
      Great reply Saad. I definitely agree with that. I think focusing on your strengths is one of the best things anybody can do. It's really easy in a social media environment for people to get convoluted ideas of what they should be doing or where they should be. Everyone is different.

      It's so much better to tune that out, accept it for what it is, but focus on what your strengths are. Very true
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11044852].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Paulk59
    Giving up is easy and selfish, that's why most of us have done it in the past. Success has many faces but helping family should be at the top, good luck to you, i'm sure you will get there.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11045384].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    i understand what you where trying to say about giving up ..lets move on to helping people .

    if your mindset based on outcomes then what are the short term outcomes and the long term outcomes for the help you give people many cases help might be good in the short term but terrible in the long term or for great long term benifit require much discomfort in the short term.

    we live in a society that 90 percent of people are unaware of the long term effects of the actions they take today so they are using most of their energy on short term things and seeking help for that...and in many cases the help they want from others may help now but make things worse in the long term.

    oh geeze i think my rambling ties this back into giving up ..oops and Yay .

    if you are blissfully unaware of the long term outcomes of what you are doing and it becomes easy to avoid stuff that is uncomfortable and hard now.. and easy to give up wen the results are out their in the future and the people around you think you are crazy.

    If you are aware of the long term effects of your actions then it become harder to give up if you learn how feel the regret you would have 10 or 20 or 30 years from now for not doing this now ..

    so if you are going to help people who are you going to help and how are you going to help them .

    if you are thinking long term and focused on that might be hard to help people who are stuck in day to day mode

    anyway back to sleep .. i woke up had the thought for this post tried to get back to sleep and had to post something ..

    hope the short term solution to my problem made sense ..but remember ..the more you need everything to make sense (cents) the harder it is to allow things in that make dollars
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11045434].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Tahreem Saeed
    If you want it to actually be ON YOUR TERMS, then you are going to HAVE to be obsessive, relentless, and selfish about it.

    Creative Designer and Developer !

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11045968].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DavePipitone
    Sometimes, it's good to quit when the timing, focus and direction are wrong. It takes effort to listen to what the market wants, but it will tell you if you listen long enough.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11046261].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kingten
    I think if your why is bigger and clear enough, the is no option for giving up, most of people give up because they want easy road to success, but to get to where you want in your life, you will be knocked down again and again , i do agree with you on that.

    The point is never give up on your dream,it will come true if you keep grinding.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11046762].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author R0b328
      true I agree 100%. It's all just how you define "failure". Never give up on the dream but it's ok to switch methods and adjust whichever way you need to to get there
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11046866].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by R0b328 View Post

        true I agree 100%. It's all just how you define "failure". Never give up on the dream but it's ok to switch methods and adjust whichever way you need to to get there
        locking yourself into a dream might be detrimental .. but refining your ability to dream you grow basic things will change and if you are locked into a dream might get to the dream and find it does not fit who you are now

        i have changed so much in the last year .. though a chunk of my long term dream are the same ..because my personality has changed a lot..which i guess is something that is not supposed to happen in a year in you late 30's .. but i am going down a path hard to describe ..

        the hard work that gets the best long term not where a vast majority of people put their hard work ..and most people turn what should be easy into something hard to make it look like they are doing sooo much work.

        now i might be exxagerating right now.. but i might have to personally revolutionize modern economics and put my name higher in history than adam smith or carl marx ..

        because no one is seeing the obvious answer to the coming automation of everything ..which i have come to by having most of my jobs already replaced by automation ..anyway.. simple breakdown

        if what i do can be replaced by a robot or a computer program ..that cost less to buy than i make in a year ..if i want to be a productive member of society ..i need to aquire access to these cheep machines or own them.. and use them to make things to sell.. rather than run to what robots and computer programs can't do yet..or wait for the government to hand displaced workers a cheek .

        so in the near future 20 years or so most people will be displaced by automation or digitization , and either support themselves with some business or wait for a check from the government .

        so you can give up on business now and get a job..then it is just a matter of time
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11047172].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author stephenm44
    Perseverance is the key.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11047375].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Master Blake
    Giving up is a disservice to your higher self.

    And maybe disservice to a community.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11230486].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11230574].message }}
Avatar of Unregistered

Trending Topics