21 replies
I'm sure this is a dumb question for this forum. Do you or have you ever had a fear of success? Not the fear of NOT succeeding, but the fear of the type of responsibility that will be involved if you succeed? Maybe that surreal fear of if everything is great then something bad will happen? Maybe it's just some other phobia. Does any of this make sense?

If you know what I'm talking about then is conquering it all about taking action? How do you avoid self-sabotage?
#fear #success
  • Profile picture of the author pheonix44
    I used to have this fear and I still do to a degree. My fear is that I will not be able to fight off the leeches that come my way who were not there when I was nothing. Other then that I have gotten over it for the most part. I know I can handle the responsibility, it is just that I will feel like I have a target on my back.
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  • Profile picture of the author Valorie
    It's not a dumb question. When you're trying to make it on your own your worst enemy can be that nagging voice in the back of your head. I think most entrepreneurs will agree that mindset is more important than talent.

    The doubts and fears can still be there even after you take action. For me, the trick is acknowledging all my little victories, and building on them. Success breeds success. And sometimes, you just have to suck it up and do the scary stuff. Fight your way through it. Tell your little voice "**ck off, I've got work to do."

    -Valorie
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    • Profile picture of the author writermommy6
      Originally Posted by Valorie View Post

      Tell your little voice "**ck off, I've got work to do."

      OMG! I almost spit my drink all over the computer! I'll have to remember this. Too bad I can't post it somewhere, I think the kids would be able to read it. :rolleyes:

      Yeah, I understand the bull's eye thing. I think I sort of feel that way. Everyone I know is the paycheck to paycheck crowd. I think sometimes I feel like if I really succeed then I'm not sure where I'll fit in. Especially when it comes to family. Let's just say when I tell people I do Internet Marketing I'm met with blank stares. You know, the deer in headlights.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kevin Riley
        No, just fear of the taxman.
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        • Profile picture of the author Jaredl
          sometimes i think that it is the fear of success that is holding me back. I have a stable job that pays very well but sucks cos the hours are looong...many a times, i get back after midnight and start again at 8am. I think the fear is that should i succeed in online marketing, i will want to give up my stability(although it sucks but it pays) and venture full time into internet marketing which could have many uncertainties....does it make sense?
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  • Profile picture of the author achivement84
    Some times i fear from the non-continues sucess , usually when you reach a certain level of success that increase the interest and fear for survival upon - which is a positive fear makes you always on standby to overcome any obstacles arises.

    Regards...
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    • Profile picture of the author korme
      It does seem that one of the major reasons people don't take action is soley based on the Fear of Success. The thought of what your family and close friends may think when you make it big time does seem to hold people back. How many times have you been given a formula for success, something that is proven to work and just needs action and yet that fear incites you to just let it go by!
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  • Profile picture of the author 2d0k
    Originally Posted by writermommy6 View Post

    I'm sure this is a dumb question for this forum. Do you or have you ever had a fear of success? Not the fear of NOT succeeding, but the fear of the type of responsibility that will be involved if you succeed? Maybe that surreal fear of if everything is great then something bad will happen? Maybe it's just some other phobia. Does any of this make sense?
    it's not fear of success, it's the fear of responsibility.. with great power comes great responsibility, right?
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  • Profile picture of the author John Piteo
    Fear of success or failures are "newbie traps". These constraints held me back too. I was afraid that if my work got real popular that I wouldn't be able to live up to people's expectations of me. That kept me from finishing projects. I'd start many things but I wouldn't finish any of them.

    One of the way's I was able to overcome this fear is by focusing on smaller successes to start. Each small success that you experience will build your confidence up another notch. If fear of success is your constraint, don't focus on the big success at the end of the road. Instead focus on successes you can have today, this week or this month.

    I just finished an audio book on the top 14 constraints ("Newbie Traps") that held me back for years while trying to become successful as an Internet marketer. You can download it for free (see sig file below). It requires an opt-in but you can opt out at any time if you don't like the info.
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Shrum
      Shalom everyone,

      Well it looks like I am about to quote everyone or almost everyone who has posted up to now. LOL

      Where to start... It seems that most people have some form of fear/phobia when it comes to success of any kind.

      When we try to pin down these fears then it seems that new ones appear out of nowhere.

      Originally Posted by writermommy6 View Post

      I'm sure this is a dumb question for this forum. Do you or have you ever had a fear of success? Not the fear of NOT succeeding, but the fear of the type of responsibility that will be involved if you succeed? Maybe that surreal fear of if everything is great then something bad will happen? Maybe it's just some other phobia. Does any of this make sense?

      If you know what I'm talking about then is conquering it all about taking action? How do you avoid self-sabotage?
      If this is a dumb question for this forum then I want to be ranked along with you for experiencing the effects of dumbness (if that's a word).

      I, myself, have an extreme fear of asking dumb questions... Don't believe me check my profile & the number of posts I have contributed to this forum & how many years I've been a member & add them up.

      It's been said that seven characteristics are found in a wise man.

      1. A wise man does not offer his answer before one who is wiser than him.
      2. He does not interrupt another man who is speaking.
      3. He is not hasty to answer.
      4. His questions are pertinent to the subject under discussion.
      5. His answers are in accord with the accepted decision. (This is a real problem for me 'cause I keep asking the "Why" questions like "Why is that the only answer?". LOL)
      6. When he speaks, he presents his material in an organized, linear manner.
      7. When asked a question to which he has not heard the answer, he answers honestly and says, "I do not know, I have not heard." (m.Avot 5:7)

      I know that I should interact with y'all but this fear of being judged as stupid for saying or asking something within a crowd of people who are successful at what I am wanting to do is very real to me so instead I just watch & learn from everyone... It seems safer that way.

      The part where you say:

      Originally Posted by writermommy6 View Post

      If you know what I'm talking about then is conquering it all about taking action? How do you avoid self-sabotage?
      This is the million dollar question for me & probly for everyone who is struggling to find their way.

      Originally Posted by pheonix44 View Post

      I used to have this fear and I still do to a degree. My fear is that I will not be able to fight off the leeches that come my way who were not there when I was nothing. Other then that I have gotten over it for the most part. I know I can handle the responsibility, it is just that I will feel like I have a target on my back.
      The leeches you say... I agree whole heartedly with you. I struggle with support or the lack thereof and to not be thought of as a loser or someone who is just hanging myself on dreams which will never come true.

      I fight the thoughts about how they don't believe in me now but when I'm successful you can bet they'll not only believe in me then but they'll probly want some or most of the profits from what I have always, solely, struggled to accomplish. God forbid they help me get their by encouraging me along the way.

      Then there's those who were never known before... How can one know who wants to know you & get to know you or just wants to get to know your money (success).

      Originally Posted by Valorie View Post

      It's not a dumb question. When you're trying to make it on your own your worst enemy can be that nagging voice in the back of your head. I think most entrepreneurs will agree that mindset is more important than talent.

      The doubts and fears can still be there even after you take action. For me, the trick is acknowledging all my little victories, and building on them. Success breeds success. And sometimes, you just have to suck it up and do the scary stuff. Fight your way through it. Tell your little voice "**ck off, I've got work to do."

      -Valorie
      I just wish I found it that easy to shut those little voices up. About the time I get them shut up then someone walks through the door and contributes new things for the voices to say. LOL

      Originally Posted by writermommy6 View Post

      OMG! I almost spit my drink all over the computer! I'll have to remember this. Too bad I can't post it somewhere, I think the kids would be able to read it. :rolleyes:

      Yeah, I understand the bull's eye thing. I think I sort of feel that way. Everyone I know is the paycheck to paycheck crowd. I think sometimes I feel like if I really succeed then I'm not sure where I'll fit in. Especially when it comes to family. Let's just say when I tell people I do Internet Marketing I'm met with blank stares. You know, the deer in headlights.
      Blank stares & crickets chirping in the background & someone always says... Alllll Righty then! (Usually my daughter says that everyone else just changes the subject)

      Originally Posted by Jaredl View Post

      sometimes i think that it is the fear of success that is holding me back. I have a stable job that pays very well but sucks cos the hours are looong...many a times, i get back after midnight and start again at 8am. I think the fear is that should i succeed in online marketing, i will want to give up my stability(although it sucks but it pays) and venture full time into internet marketing which could have many uncertainties....does it make sense?
      I completely relate to this. I've tried to do both (i.e. work at a job & Internet marketing at the same time.) but when your job is being a corrections officer with all of it's stress there wasn't much time to work on success as an Internet marketer so I quit that & went to driving a truck because the laws (DOT law that regulates trucking) say I'm supposed to stop every 8hrs to sleep & the job was supposed to be low stress (i.e. just driving all day... A no brainer, right? right!) & I could think about my Internet marketing things while driving then just do them when I got through with my day... Low stress... ha... yea right!!!

      Now I just do a little computer repairing & rent lots out to people for my income so most of my time can be focused on IM but that has major drawbacks to it too.

      Originally Posted by korme View Post

      It does seem that one of the major reasons people don't take action is soley based on the Fear of Success. The thought of what your family and close friends may think when you make it big time does seem to hold people back. How many times have you been given a formula for success, something that is proven to work and just needs action and yet that fear incites you to just let it go by!
      I agree with you almost completely. (Almost completely mostly because I rarely agree with even myself completely... Everything is always apt to change on ya.)

      Originally Posted by 2d0k View Post

      it's not fear of success, it's the fear of responsibility.. with great power comes great responsibility, right?
      This definitely figures into it... No one wants to be thought of as someone who won't or can't keep their word and the fear that we may not be able to maintain our new responsibility is very strong.

      Originally Posted by John Piteo View Post

      Fear of success or failures are "newbie traps". These constraints held me back too. I was afraid that if my work got real popular that I wouldn't be able to live up to people's expectations of me. That kept me from finishing projects. I'd start many things but I wouldn't finish any of them.

      One of the way's I was able to overcome this fear is by focusing on smaller successes to start. Each small success that you experience will build your confidence up another notch. If fear of success is your constraint, don't focus on the big success at the end of the road. Instead focus on successes you can have today, this week or this month.

      I just finished an audio book on the top 14 constraints ("Newbie Traps") that held me back for years while trying to become successful as an Internet marketer. You can download it for free (see sig file below). It requires an opt-in but you can opt out at any time if you don't like the info.
      All I can say to you is... I love your video you have on your optin page... If your videos I am about to download & view are as riveting and hard hitting as that one then I am in for something special when I receive them in my inbox...

      I was thinking as I was finishing watching it that if you removed the images & the words which point back to your site then you would be able to sell the use of it to other Internet marketers to use on their optin forms or if you were willing to create videos like that one for particular niches or whatever then people would be willing to pay you to do it, I'm sure... It's loaded with the truth & emotion that most people are experiencing & it's extremely compelling... It was compelling to me anyway.

      btw you have a submit button graphics problem there... at least it didn't show me anything but a big rectangle box in my FF when I went there but clicking on the box worked.

      I will sum this up by saying that as humans we are extremely fearful of being thought of as idiots & losers.

      We fear the loss of the love & respect as well as fearing the opinions of our families & friends the most.

      I believe that our success or failure is directly dependent on what we say to ourselves & what we say to ourselves, so many times, is what we think others, that we hold in high esteem, have said or are saying to or about us.

      We are products of our childhood & society reinforces those things we were taught when we were children (i.e. get a job & make sure it has a good benefit package, or at least just get a job {acronym for J.O.B is "Just Over Broke"}) & as adults we fear being more successful than what we were taught we have the right to be.

      Maybe some of these things are what's holding some of us back & keeping us from experiencing the success we so diligently desire.

      My definition of success is:

      Success is not a destination... Success is the entire trip. If it was a destination then it would be called Succeed as in finished so now all we can do is brag about what WAS accomplished which, in & of itself, is quite useless for the present needs except that it can help motivate us to continue BEING a success at whatever we're doing now.

      I'm sure y'all may be about ready for me to wrap this thing up, now, so I will leave you with this thought...

      Kevin Riley said:

      Originally Posted by Kevin Riley View Post

      No, just fear of the taxman.
      The taxman isn't really anyone to be concerned about until you become successful... He figures in with the leeches. LOL

      Hope I didn't bore y'all too much.

      Shalom,
      Frank Shrum

      Btw Shalom is Hebrew for Peace.
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      The Science of Anti-Aging <<--- ageLOC technology Introduction

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      • Profile picture of the author John Piteo
        Originally Posted by Frank Shrum View Post

        All I can say to you is... I love your video you have on your optin page... If your videos I am about to download & view are as riveting and hard hitting as that one then I am in for something special when I receive them in my inbox...
        Frank,

        Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, the video took me a while to make. Perfectionism is one of the "Newbie Traps" that still holds me back. Either I don't do something because I fear it won't be good enough or if I do it takes me too long to complete the project. I'm working on it though.

        By the way the free download is not videos, it's an audio book. I don't like reading but I love audio books so I decided to make it in that format. I know that lots of people like to listen to them on their iPods.

        Thanks for the heads up about the submit button. I think it's working fine now, but if anyone has a problem with it please let me know.
        Thanks,
        John P
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  • Profile picture of the author folkcare
    Fear of failure or success, I guess it's real enough. If you have success you actually need to see what it was that made it successful for you. Then rinse and repeat as they say. I say have more of it if it should come your way. But you probably did all the things you're supposed to to get it so enjoy it while you can.

    I have this lurking fear that success on the internet doesn't last long. What do you think? There's too many newcomers willing to do just what you did and you'll be replaced.
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    • Profile picture of the author Gennie32
      Banned
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      • Profile picture of the author glchandler
        None of us start out with the "perfect" product or approach. We either latch onto someone else's shirt tail via affiliate for the $$$ or attempt to create something that the masses will buy in ever increasing quantities.

        Neither is usually profitable right out of the marketing gate. Does not take long to understand that anything we do needs to be tweaked consistently to payoff. Actually each time we need to tweak it is because we have had a failure of some sort---either no sales, diminished sales or unacceptable number of refunds.

        Therefore, "failure" is what makes our product or marketing approach a success. Each of these failures is simply a "rung" on the ladder to success.

        So while we should never actively seek failure we actually might want to "relish" these minor setbacks.
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  • Profile picture of the author highprofitdi
    We all have fears when it comes to doing something that goes against the norm of what has been expected of us and what those who don't have the ambition or drive or nerve to try wont support us in. But that is exactly what makes a true entrepreneur special. Pursue your dreams with all your heart if this is really what you want then you will overcome your fears with your successes. All the best Diana
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  • Profile picture of the author angdeer
    Not succeeding is easy its the making it big that really would take some getting used to. I totally know what you are talking about.
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    • Profile picture of the author Simon Royal
      Not succeeding is to me, the same as not trying.
      I see each attempt as a success in its own,
      success isn't measured in money or fame.

      Instead it should be measured by what you get out of it.
      Whether it is:
      Lesson learned
      Contacts made
      Skills fine tuned
      anything success doesn't always need to be monetary, although it does make it a lot nicer.

      like it says in my son's favorite movie,"keep moving forward."
      (Meet the Robinsons)
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  • Profile picture of the author Amanda Craven
    "Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength." Sigmund Freud.

    It's breaking through fear that makes us stronger and the most successful people admit to still feeling it but, crucially, ignoring it. "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" (Susan Jeffers) is a classic and far meatier than the title might signify. And what is fear anyway but our innate anxiety about change?
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  • http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...cfTmq2Wpzzdu3T

    I posted this video. Go watch it and it will cange you way of thinking.

    You haveto watch it all the way through.

    Hope this helps.
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