How do you go through hard times? How do you mannage to change things for the better?

by maors
27 replies
Hi everybody.

I have some questions.

I'm having some rough times recently, but the last few days have been particularly bad. My family is not aware of everything I have to cope with - they understand I have things to deal with, but I cannot share everything, even if I wanted to (job related, marriage problems related, etc) So they put a lot of pressure on me and it makes it even harder...

I'm working on building my online business, and after having some issues and even being scammed, I feel I'm on the right path. But many days are so difficult to go through, that I find it really hard to find the inner strength to actually work, full power on, take massive action and make this business work.

How do you go through this kind of things?
How do you start changing things for the better? I somehow feel that if I could change just one small thing, such as my feelings about everything, this will eventually lead to bigger changes, but so far I haven't succeeded in this.....

Would be glad to receive some advice from experienced people....

Thanks and have a wonderful day!

Maor
#change #hard #mannage #things #times
  • Profile picture of the author robertrvw
    You've just got to keep on going, push through.

    I know it sounds cliche, but have some faith in yourself. As long as you still have the willingness to make something better of yourself, that will take you a long way. Most people are too afraid to step into the unknown, you've already taken that first step...

    There's no time for feeling sorry for yourself in business, you've got to keep that part of you away from your computer.

    Find someone willing to teach you, and play your part by actually putting in hard work, and you'll start making progress

    If times are that hard you can DM me and I'll be happy to give you some kind of online work to do with me. I'm not going to reveal some 'secret' to you, I'm going to kick your arse and give you some real work to do online.

    I wish you good luck on your journey, and if you need an ear I am here.
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  • Profile picture of the author GeoGraf
    Hey!

    Just think about what other choices you have. You can always find some low- or average-paid job that will take all of your time. You would only have enough time and money to get by. So, make a plan, stick to it, and be persistent.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Biggest game-changer for me Maor was *feeling the deep fears* that I needed to feel so the tough times dissolved into fun or fascinating times.

    This FEELING stuff is sometimes not too intense, and sometimes, intense as hell and unpleasant. But feeling my terror of losing everything aka people aka money aka my blog aka it all, well, diving into those unpleasant sessions freed me from those fears (partially, but mostly) so I could proceed, leaving the troubles behind to make room for following my passion and building my blog and businesses mainly from a space of fun, not fear.

    Feel the terrors. Feel the grief. Feel the loss. Just grab a pillow, and cry into it or punch it, after you go into a quiet room or find a quiet, private space in nature.

    This approach works every time

    All the best.
    Signature
    Ryan Biddulph, Blogger, Author, World Traveling Digital Nomad at Blogging From Paradise
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  • Profile picture of the author RichardThessen
    You've been pushed to the wall and at this point, you have nothing to lose anymore. You just have to keep doing what you do and of course, do not be afraid to try something new
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  • Profile picture of the author Wile E Coyote
    Hey Maor,

    Disclaimer: this post isn't going to be a hippy-dippy "believe in your self" one. So you're welcome to skip it.

    I was exactly where you were before, however, things ended badly for me (in most apsects) initially. Over time, everything turned out just fine.

    I was working on my online business, while work 40-60 hours a week and because of my finances being dumped into my business, I was walking to work approx 4.5 miles one-way. I was married and she kinda went psycho on me and just up and left, leaving me with a house I couldn't pay for. 2 months later we're filing for divorce, my business was still in shambles, I was still walking 4+ miles to work and hopefully getting a ride on the way home. 6 months later, my business still wasn't good, lawyer fees were piling up and my house was 7 months late on the mortgage. I was able to scramble the money for a vehicle so I could drive to work and potentially find somewhere else to live. 3 months later we have a divorce date, and as I walk out of the house I realize my car was repo'd for being too late on a payment.

    The reason I brought this up to you, is that the above is probably the absolute worst thing that could happen to you in your situation (as you have outlined problems). I don't want any pity or ooh's and aah's, but it's to show you that I've been through the mud, in very similar situations.

    What you have to understand is that you cannot control everything. Focus on the things you can control and improve specific things one step at a time. Is your marriage important to you? if it is, and stopping your online business would help the situation, then do so. Are you throwing money at the business when bills are piling up? Then stop.

    Whatever you are going through, figure out what you can control and then figure out what is beyond your control and seek help. Marriage Counseling is a fine option. There's no honor in falling on your sword alone.

    Some of the steps I took to get out of my situation was to leave the area I was in, and move closer to family, so they would be a support network I could tap into. I then took a debt consolidation loan so I could begin the steps required for me to pay off the $20k in credit card debt and the $12.5k vehicle repo.

    It certainly wasn't a great period in my life, but I was able to quickly figure out what was and was not in my control. Then take your massive action and push forward.

    Sometimes you have to choose between work and family. Sometimes the road to success is a very lonely one. But that's 100% your choice how you walk down that path.
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  • Profile picture of the author Enfusia
    There is an old saying that is old for a reason, it's basis is in reality, it goes; "It's mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter."

    In truth, you need to look at where you are now, what got you there and what your goals for the future are.

    1. Your present circumstance is an unbelievably accurate mirror of what's going on inside your mind. You are what you think about. Everything you see around you was created by you.

    We are all self made, although only the successful ones like to admit it.

    2. You had thoughts that you took action on, and so you now live in the fruition of those thoughts and actions.
    It can be no other way.

    No one did this to you. This is all of your own creation.

    3. To change your circumstances you must first change your mind.
    another old saying:If you continue to think what you've always thought, you'll continue to get what you've always got.

    You cannot fix a problem using the same line of thinking that got you into it.

    So, to change what's going on in your life, you must first change what's going on in your mind.

    Make your goals, set your mind to them. Write them down and keep that paper in your pocket. Read it when you first wake up and before you go to bed.

    Then, each day ask yourself just one question. What am i going to do today to bring me closer to where I want to be?

    Whatever that is, do it!
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    Free eBook =>
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    Yes, Any Business!
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    • Profile picture of the author Ron Lafuddy
      Originally Posted by Enfusia View Post

      There is an old saying that is old for a reason, it's basis is in reality, it goes; "It's mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter."

      In truth, you need to look at where you are now, what got you there and what your goals for the future are.

      1. Your present circumstance is an unbelievably accurate mirror of what's going on inside your mind. You are what you think about. Everything you see around you was created by you.

      We are all self made, although only the successful ones like to admit it.

      2. You had thoughts that you took action on, and so you now live in the fruition of those thoughts and actions.
      It can be no other way.

      No one did this to you. This is all of your own creation.

      3. To change your circumstances you must first change your mind.
      another old saying:If you continue to think what you've always thought, you'll continue to get what you've always got.

      You cannot fix a problem using the same line of thinking that got you into it.

      So, to change what's going on in your life, you must first change what's going on in your mind.

      Make your goals, set your mind to them. Write them down and keep that paper in your pocket. Read it when you first wake up and before you go to bed.

      Then, each day ask yourself just one question. What am i going to do today to bring me closer to where I want to be?

      Whatever that is, do it!
      This post is so good it should be carved in stone and hung where everyone who enters the Mind forum would see it.

      "You cannot fix a problem using the same line of thinking that got you into it."

      Mama Mia! I wish we could bottle that and put it in the water system.

      Your post could be an awakening to those who have the clarity to understand it.

      Ron

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  • Profile picture of the author RichJackson
    You are, where you are, because you are, where you need to be.
    things may look bad right now. But what you are experiencing is growth.
    Just like a muscle must experience trauma/pain/stress in order to grow. You (and so shall we all) experience stress in order to educate us and make us stronger and more capable to reach new heights.
    Keep going and dont give up
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by maors View Post

    Hi everybody.

    I have a some questions.

    I having some rough times recently, but the last few days had been particularly bad. My family is not aware of everything I have to cope with - they understand I have things to deal with, but I cannot share everything, even if I wanted to (job related, marriage problems related, etc) So they put a lot of pressure on me and it makes it even harder...

    I'm working on building my online business, and after having some issues and even being scammed, I feel I'm on the right path. But many days are so difficult to go through, that I find it really hard to find the inner strength to actually work, full power on, take massive action and make this business work.

    How do you go through this kind of things?
    How do you start changing things for the better? I somehow feel that if I could change just one small thing, such as my feelings about everything, this will eventually lead to bigger changes, but so far I haven't succeeded in this.....

    Would be glad to receive some advice from experienced people....

    Thanks and have a wonderful day!

    Maor
    Phew, yes been there, l know that others say "believe in yourself" but when things look bleak, and the thought of sitting on a street corner, in winter selling pencils is looming, it is easier said than done.

    At times it is virtually impossible to believe in yourself 100%, so just believe that you deserve the best, or believe that if you keep going, then you will look back in a years time, and be grateful you kept going.

    For me it was a process of elimation, within 9 years l pretty much tried everything online, and most of it didn't work or was too expensive.

    But over time, after giving everything a fair go, l whittled it down to what l am doing now.

    Amit Meta went through something similar, he also had a wife, who was nagging at him, and had to use his parents credit cards to pay for groceries, etc. Gave up a high paying career in medicine, for PPC.

    And all of his friends kept away.

    And where is he now?

    He runs his business from a loft apartment in Boston, goes on luxery holidays a few times a year, and makes 70k a month!

    While his dumb friends make that much a year, and are stuck in peak hour traffic for up to 2 hours a day.

    Stay on course, and grab any motivational movie, music or whatever to keep staying on the path.

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  • Profile picture of the author davntt
    Reading books and train your mind to have a positive mind.
    I hope you will live a life of the fullest.
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  • Profile picture of the author cynthiaSEL
    Originally Posted by maors View Post

    rough times
    I start with gratitude. Paying attention to the good, and appreciating. Then a whole bunch of other things, including nurturing self care.

    There will always be rough times. Just as an acorn that becomes a tall oak, there are storms along the way.

    Recognizing that there are actions you can take helps.

    The hope that comes with taking action helps.

    Doing what you need to do, slowly, one little bit at a time and adjusting along the way will lift you up.

    Yes, that's lots of consistent, persistent work.

    And you're worth it!

    You'll find good stuff along the way that's helpful right here on Warrior Forum, so I encourage you to keep peeking in and getting a little bit on a regular basis.
    Signature

    By the way, do you want to learn how to get over your fears so that you can accomplish your dreams? If so, do this exercise How to Get Over Your Fears so that You Can Accomplish Your Dreams

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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    I do not know how to say this nicely ..after going through tough times for a long period of time i have really gotten use to it and can relax more ..

    at this point where most jobs will dissapear in the next 10-20 years and most people will have to do there own business ..just to survive .. adhering to the so called normal .. job .. path is insane ..

    can you take the online part out when you talk and just say you are building a business it open up much different viewpoints .
    Signature

    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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  • Profile picture of the author GrowthforLife
    Hey Maor,

    Thanks for opening up, I'm sure that many people facing similar challenges silently. I have been there SEVERAL times before. The one thing that always helped me overcome the hard times was the belief that I had in myself. The belief that in the work I was putting in, the sleepless nights, the progress being made everyday. I was always confident that it would lead up to something, and that all the hard times were just a phase. I never really put too much attention on the 'suffering' part. Yes, things were not going as well, but lingering on that thought would just make it worse.

    How do you start changing things for the better? Well for as long as you are putting in 100% everyday, things will change by themselves. I mean there is no way you can be putting several hours each day (presumably) on whatever it is that you do, and things fail to change for the better. The answer is to always remain positive, ALWAYS.

    Remember that nothing is permanent, including the challenges which you are facing. I wish you all the best in overcoming them.
    Signature
    UPDATE: We are now on 1,900 daily website visits in month 5. Here are the strategies that we've been using to scale (Free access). Let's grow together.
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  • Profile picture of the author maors
    Thank you so much, everybody:-)
    This was exactly what I needed. You encouraged me and helped me start planning for the future.
    I am working toward my goals, and hoping to see better days soon.
    Today I watched a lecture on how the way we think about ourselves influence the amount of money we have. it was so relaxing that eventually it made me sleep, but something I took from there is treating our business as a way to give service, not as a way to sell and sell - in other words, always seeing our customer as a human being and looking for ways to help solve his problems, instead of just trying to take is money in exchange for our offer.
    So the value you gave here might not get you more money, but I hope it will help you in some other ways.
    I wish you all good luck in whatever you do now!
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  • Profile picture of the author simon leach
    Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you chose to react.

    The common problem with "bad times" is that we feel completely out of control and there is nothing worse for the average human than feeling you do not control your own life. It is depressing, paralyzing...but a very small perception shift completely lifts this.

    The fact is you are ALWAYS 100% IN CONTROL of what you say, what you do, who you associate with, learn from, choose to help. And it is these things that determine your life NOT the unknown or randomness of the universe. Frankly, the unknown and the random stuff is what makes it fun!
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    hello again,

    Being in tough times myself right now and for most of the last 2 years or more well closer to 10 but ..tough time are a part of life and force you to prune of a lot of life stealing branches that are hindering personal growth .. in nature with plants and trees after a few years .. to have the best healthiest growth thing need to be pruned . either by you or in nature by some animal that find the plant tasty .

    how you learn to deal with and grow out of or from tough times will determine your long term success .

    if you drink .. buy some beers and dink with someone who is homeless and was destroyed by their tough times .. and you may learn not to drink to much .. there is nothing wrong with you the tough bit are part of life ..and the strong you get the tougher you can handle and the faster you will push through.

    only snowflake incollege and with parent with money can hide from the tough bits of life an d collapse in fits an tears if they get less than an a plus on a paper ..and need safe spaces and counseling and support groups ..after all isn't that what the are paying 60 k a yeat to major in a crap degree that may just qualify them to work at Starbucks .and vote for anyone who will promis to forgive their student loan debt they owe the government .

    I hopw i am no personally attacking you or anyone reading this but if you have been in that boat and you are reading these forum.. you probly realize you messed or where led down the path thinking it was the only path .. and now you are trying to escape the prison of that path
    Signature

    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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  • Profile picture of the author rbarnhart1
    Hi Maor. You've gotten some great advice. How are things going? Are they getting easier or at least seeing some things that will help? First thing you have to do is take care of yourself. Even when times are hard, you want to have a way to feel good and know that you are fully capable of moving past the current situation and create a new one.

    One thing that can help is meditation. But, most people don't know how to do it. Here's a simple solution. Got to Omvana (website - this is a Mindvalley company) and sign up for a free account. You get 25 free meditation tracks. The only one that matters is the set on The Envision Method 6-phase meditation. There is a tutorial for it so start there if you're new to meditation. Just a quick thing to do in the morning and get you started feeling good.

    There's a ton of other stuff you can do as well. So, always be willing to learn new things.

    But aside from all that, your biggest goal at the moment should be mastering a skill-set. Something valuable that you know and others need. Start small and grow. Best wishes and keep moving forward. Post some updates and let us know how it's going.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    When someone says they are going through "tough times", you need to be more specific.

    Are you having financial difficulties? You don't need cheered up, you need to get to work. Positive thinking doesn't pay the bills. Group sympathy doesn't pay the bills.

    Did someone you love die? I'm sorry to hear it. But guess what...everyone goes through that...everyone. It's part of life.

    Did someone leave you? Why? How can you learn from that? How can you be a better partner for the next one?

    The problem with sympathy is that it doesn't help. It doesn't fix problems. It doesn't improve your life. What improves your life financially? getting to work. What improves your live emotionally? Taking responsibility for your actions, and trying to do better next time.

    Or wallow in self pity, and listen to the others that support your whining. They aren't helping you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    One of my favourite quotations (from Winston
    Churchill) is:

    "If you're going through Hell, keep going."
    Tough times don't last. Tough People do.

    And I know what I'm talking about because I've
    been through Social Anxiety (since 15),
    Depression, and Schizophrenia (since 20). And
    I'm grateful for having gone through all of that.
    Because it has made me into the Person I am
    today.

    I promise you, if you keep doing what you're doing--
    being relatively positive and proactive--things will
    begin to change.

    Another one of my favourite quotations is:

    "Success is to be measured not so much by the
    position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles
    which he has overcome."--Booker T. Washington.

    Just something to consider.

    Jonathan
    P.S. Feel free to PM me anytime.
    : )
    Signature
    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Ron Lafuddy
      Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

      One of my favourite quotations (from Winston
      Churchill) is:

      "If you're going through Hell, keep going."
      Tough times don't last. Tough People do.

      And I know what I'm talking about because I've
      been through Social Anxiety (since 15),
      Depression, and Schizophrenia (since 20). And
      I'm grateful for having gone through all of that.
      Because it has made me into the Person I am
      today.

      I promise you, if you keep doing what you're doing--
      being relatively positive and proactive--things will
      begin to change.

      Another one of my favourite quotations is:

      "Success is to be measured not so much by the
      position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles
      which he has overcome."--Booker T. Washington.

      Just something to consider.

      Jonathan
      P.S. Feel free to PM me anytime.
      : )
      You keep going, Jonathan!
      There's a place for you in this world, and there's work for you to do, yet.
      One foot in front of the other...and you'll get there.

      Ron
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        Thanks Ron. : ) Much appreciated.
        Signature
        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    Internet marketing won't save a marriage.

    Get some local counseling.
    Signature
    Hi
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    • Profile picture of the author expmrb
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      Internet marketing won't save a marriage.

      Get some local counseling.
      Nice reply.

      The key to success is patience and persistence.
      Signature
      SEO Motionz Forum - A Digital Marketing Forum
      Forum Management & Promotion, SEO Tips, Money Making tips etc.
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  • Profile picture of the author James_w
    Originally Posted by maors View Post

    Hi everybody.

    I have some questions.

    I'm having some rough times recently, but the last few days have been particularly bad. My family is not aware of everything I have to cope with - they understand I have things to deal with, but I cannot share everything, even if I wanted to (job related, marriage problems related, etc) So they put a lot of pressure on me and it makes it even harder...

    I'm working on building my online business, and after having some issues and even being scammed, I feel I'm on the right path. But many days are so difficult to go through, that I find it really hard to find the inner strength to actually work, full power on, take massive action and make this business work.

    How do you go through this kind of things?
    How do you start changing things for the better? I somehow feel that if I could change just one small thing, such as my feelings about everything, this will eventually lead to bigger changes, but so far I haven't succeeded in this.....

    Would be glad to receive some advice from experienced people....

    Thanks and have a wonderful day!

    Maor
    I take the day off and play my favorite multiplayer games ignore everyone then get back into it

    the next day, sometimes you need to take a break before you can get going again.
    Signature

    Make $495 Per Day Selling Turnkey Websites for the Food Industry!
    http://turnkeywebsites.net.au/make-money/

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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by James_w View Post

      I take the day off and play my favorite multiplayer games ignore everyone then get back into it

      the next day, sometimes you need to take a break before you can get going again.
      True without Super Mario Galaxy 2, on the Wii, l wouldn't last a week.

      Signature
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  • Profile picture of the author Jessica Amboos
    Hi Maor. My best advise is for you to read the book on The Secret or better yet, watch it on Youtube. They made a movie of it from the book. It's everything you will ever need to turn your world around. It's all a matter of attracting anything GOOD. Good luck and have faith Maor!
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  • Profile picture of the author eluminousva
    hello Maor,
    When I feel that I have many problems in my life and nothing is working. I think of people who have bigger problems than me, like people in Syria, people in Africa who just struggle to exist. Then your problems seems very small and you get confidence to overcome it. I find meditation and yoga vvery useful in such situations
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