How do I find a mentor?

23 replies
I've bought Bruce A Berman's secrets to success way back when. I was totally new to internet marketing and the many promises it offered in what I considered the Golden Age. (this was early 2000s).

I absorbed his information and quickly implemented it in many business ideas I was trying back then. Some of them worked for me while others didn't do so good.

Of all the advice I took at that ripe age, there's one thing Bruce told me to do that I never did. He said to get myself a mentor.

I wasn't much of a people person and hadn't quote developed the ability to approach them in conversation. It took me a long time to get over that limitation. Nowadays I am wiser and more confident. But I still have yet to find that mentor.

I have friends in many fields and all of them always give be good advice. But none of them seem to know a thing about internet/network marketing. Many of them are traditional and urge me to stay in School, get a good job and save money. Whenever I talk to them about my ideas, they either say nothing at all or advise me not to waste my time chasing dreams.

I've been at this for years and have never seen a break through. I know it's because I've been focusing on the wrong things and not working on my own personal development. But that too is changing.

I am well aware of how my outlook and attitude can greatly determine my success. I practice this everyday and am quickly getting better at it. And with this comes the whole point I'm getting at.

I strongly feel that I am ready to seek out that mentor. I know the ancient proverb that states "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear".

So how do I go about finding this teacher? I know I probably sound like I'm trying to summon a genie out of a lamp. But that's not where I'm going with this.

What I want to know is, what are some ideas that will help increase my probability of finding someone who has the knowledge I seek and is willing to invest their time in me? I can't just put an ad on Craigslist asking for some random person to show up and teach me. (Though I have thought about it).

I put myself in their shoes and picture what I would do if someone asked me for help. I would observe them for a while to see what potential they have, how committed they could be and how likely they may be to succeed. If I found that they possess all the traits I were looking for, I would gladly take them under my wing.

On my path to personal growth, I try to focus on those traits in myself. That way, if someone ever does take notice, they will see that I am determined to succeed at this lifelong endeavor.

But apart from that, I'm attempting to learn how and where I could start my search. I figure this is as good a place as any. If anyone had ideas or experience in this, please let me know. Let's see how this plays out.
#find #mentor
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Mentors, lol, l have had a few, and they pretty much drag out the key to success for months on end, so you will pay up for the membership every month.

    Then when the audio and videos are thinning out, as well as members, you might finally get an answer.

    Sure you learn a lot and a few ways of doing it better, but the actual way to create wealth, most likely not.

    Most mentors l have followed had dumb luck on their side, and they cannot pass on dumb luck to their members.

    I tended to get most of my mentors through WSO's here or doing a search.


    I am currently doing flyers successfully, and do, and have helped a few newbies get their first flyer successfully accepted, etc.


    So l guess that l am mentoring them, eventhough l have limited time, and prefer to help, when l can.


    But the point is, you may not need one, l certainly didn't have any mentor when trying to figure out how to do flyers quickly, it was all critical, non emotional thinking that revealed the break.

    And as for sharing that, maybe in the next few years l may turn it into a $1.5 -$2k WSO, since it took me almost 9 years to find, and it works.

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    • Profile picture of the author erealmz
      I know what you mean. I have the potential to become a leader. I just need the content. I may never find a mentor but I've learned a lot from looking for one.
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  • Profile picture of the author Arina
    I really agree with you on the importance of a right mentor, I'm currently myself in a search for a right mentor for myself. Here's how I decided to approach this mission:

    1) Find bloggers that I like, and that are currently on the level I want to move to next.

    For example, I see no point in being mentored by famous marketers, since I'm not near their level of success and we would speak different languages. I want to find a person who recently went what I went through, and understands the problems I'm struggling with, since they are fresh on their mind.

    If you are just a beginner it makes sense to find a person who has successfully launched a website and is getting some traffic to it. He will be able to guide you through the steps he himself just successfully went through.

    I myself created a list of bloggers in self-help niche who have their own product to sell, have about 10K-30K social following, and have about 30K-60K monthly traffic. That would be my next level.

    2) Start networking

    Follow them, see what they are doing, and engage actively with their content. I often promote something I like from their content, email them and let them know about it, and it usually starts the conversation.

    I try to come up with ideas how I could possibly be useful to them. May be invite them for the interview, participate in their launch, etc.

    This is the step I'm currently at, just building relationships.

    3) Pick 3 bloggers and ask them to become your mentor.

    I haven't reached this step yet, but my plan is to pick 3 people I most connect with, and ask them for mentorship. Ideally I would like someone to have a 30-min weekly call with me, where I'd report on my progress, share my next week goals, and will be able to ask some questions.

    4) Option: organize a mastermind

    This is also an option I am considering. An idea is to create a group where we all hang out together, and organize weekly group calls, where we all share our goals, problems, and are able to ask for advice. I'm still thinking about it, since it will require more effort, but the potential benefits of course could be tremendous.

    Hope it sparks some ideas!

    Arina
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    • Profile picture of the author erealmz
      I like the Mastermind idea. I read about it in "Think and Grow Rich" and it is something that really intrigues me.

      I think eventually I'll find what I'm looking for even if it means what I'm looking for was in me all along. If you catch my drift.
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      • Profile picture of the author rbates
        Originally Posted by erealmz View Post


        I think eventually I'll find what I'm looking for even if it means what I'm looking for was in me all along. If you catch my drift.
        Who else could it be in? Not a mentor.

        I have not had good results with the mentor approach.

        I spent a lot of money, only to find the this mentor had some
        personal issues and was unable to even email me. This mentor
        did finally email me (after I sent about 7 emails) telling me
        that I "Fell through the cracks". Fine, but I never got a refund,
        or any concrete help.

        The one thing that did help me is to go back to what I
        already knew. I keep hearing that "the REAL secrets are
        never revealed". Or, "These GURUS aren't going to tell
        you everything". Do you want to know something?

        Search it here in this forum, or Google it.

        My background is in performance psychology, and what I
        finally did was actually use what I was teaching.

        What an incredible idea! So, it as a matter of getting
        a little more information, and actually getting my
        backside in gear.

        All that said, the one thing that a mentor is good for
        is to keep you on track, and keep you responsible for
        making progress.

        With self-discipline, you can do that yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    at the end of the rainbow along with the pot of gold
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    • Profile picture of the author erealmz
      It's funny you say that. Most of my friends have that same "we are stuck in the system and will never get out" attitude. But I think differently and I will find success in my pursuit.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    honestly,

    the only time i have seen the guys who talk about mentors .. site examples of the value of mentors .. every single time the mentee worked for the mentor .. heck tai lopez interned for Joel Salatin and many others .

    Really there has yet to be a golden age ..early 2000s is when many of the old direct mail people came online ..and googek addwords was new .. but half the people online still thought aol was the internet ..still had dial up and PC where 2-3 grand for a good one ..

    with 15 plus years in this do you still think your success lies souly in IM ..you probably are more aware of what you really want to do .. you might be trying to make money in Im to eventually do that thing ..

    Outside of Making money without a normal job.. what is your goal that restricts you to IM ..and not other pursuits ..

    how do you want to help the most other people
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    • Profile picture of the author erealmz
      To state it bluntly, I want to make a lot of money without doing any physical labor. I hate hard work and getting dirty. I'll use my mind all day long and sit behind a computer 24/7. But the minute I have to actually go out and wrestle with physics, I quickly burn out.
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      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by erealmz View Post

        To state it bluntly, I want to make a lot of money without doing any physical labor. I hate hard work and getting dirty. I'll use my mind all day long and sit behind a computer 24/7. But the minute I have to actually go out and wrestle with physics, I quickly burn out.
        you can really want it another 45 years .. you appearently have wanted it at least 15 if you started in the early 2000's ..

        so how big is your em list after 15 or so years wanting to be in IM ..or is build a list ..one of those thing critical to being in IM ..one of those other ideas .. that intrigues you but you have not done yet ..

        sorry if it come off as rude i was trying to say it in a way that wasn't ..but failed ..

        It will be much easier to find a mentor/coach /trainer ..to improve thing you are actually doing , once you do them ..because you probably know 500 different things you can do .but they all seem like nice ideas ..

        I fell victim so i am guilty and paying the price right now .. so you eather really want it ..or just dream of wanting it ..

        you really cannot get away from hard work ..how much long can you want it and not have it .. befor that becomes much harder to deal with than the work involved ..5, 10 15 45 years ..
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    • Profile picture of the author yukon
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      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      ... heck tai lopez interned for Joel Salatin and many others .

      #wat-u-talkin-bout-willis
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      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by yukon View Post

        #wat-u-talkin-bout-willis
        google joel Salatin /polyface farms ..Tai Lopez( and if you have no idea who that is ..you need some knowledge man) considers him one of his first mentors ..

        Pretty much every who site the value of mentors .. worked for at least one of their mentors .

        so if someone wants the best results from a mentor to a point they got to be confident enough to ask for a JOB from that person ..take so so pay in exchange for learning as much as they can from that person.

        the other shoe is coaching .. where you pay someone to teach you how to do whart you are doing a lot better .. there is more to it but it depends on what you are doing
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        • Profile picture of the author yukon
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

          google joel Salatin /polyface farms ..Tai Lopez( and if you have no idea who that is ..you need some knowledge man) considers him one of his first mentors ..

          Pretty much every who site the value of mentors .. worked for at least one of their mentors .

          so if someone wants the best results from a mentor to a point they got to be confident enough to ask for a JOB from that person ..take so so pay in exchange for learning as much as they can from that person.

          the other shoe is coaching .. where you pay someone to teach you how to do whart you are doing a lot better .. there is more to it but it depends on what you are doing




          Nobody is going to take you serious when you keep mentioning Tai Lopez like it's something good.

          #not-in-my-garage
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          • Profile picture of the author Odahh
            Originally Posted by yukon View Post

            Nobody is going to take you serious when you keep mentioning Tai Lopez like it's something good.

            #not-in-my-garage
            yeah i suppose it the thing to do to ignore the most prolific internet marketer right now .. when you are on an internet marketing forum .

            it seem to be only people not makeing or not proving they make money online shooting him down..
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            • Profile picture of the author yukon
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              Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

              yeah i suppose it the thing to do to ignore the most horrific hype right now .. when you are on an internet marketing forum .

              it seem to be only people not makeing or not proving they make money online shooting him down..


              Fixed it...

              LMAO @ proving.
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  • Profile picture of the author JasonTheFreeman
    I'm not a fan of mentors,

    They seem to be more concerned in selling you their product and ideology rather than actually helping you out.

    What I find more helpful are friends who are relatively successful, I hang out with them from time to time and learn from them.

    If you want to have a mentor, make sure it's someone who is honest and down to earth and not someone trying to make money out of you. There are so many cults like personality out there making people feel good temporarily hyping them up as if that's all they need. At the end of the day, you're still going to be the one to fix your life and figure it all out.

    Find a mentor sure, but know how to spot the advantage takers from the genuine ones. Good luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author Pedro Campos
      For me, a mentor is essential and for someone who really wants to succeed. I don`t mind pay any price to have a mastermind once a week, that can help me develop my skills and my mindset, to take me to the next level and to help me make more money.
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  • Profile picture of the author PTR
    Is it a mentor you want or a coach?

    You say that you have been focusing on the wrong things - do you now know what you need to focus on? Are you gaining clarity on what you want to do?

    From your comments I sense that you're still looking as you just say you're looking for a mentor, as opposed to being more specific and saying you're looking for someone in xxx niche, or whatever.

    In your 15 years of experience there are bound to be areas that interest you more than others; what are they? Can you narrow down to 2 or 3 that really make you excited or (like many) do you find yourself chasing after the latest 'big promise'?

    In my coaching experience (mainly with brick and mortar companies) I have always found the most successful people to be either those overcoming a major personal issue (dyslexia, lack of education, family isses etc) or those who are doing something they don't consider to be work. As a result they never tire of doing it and put all their energy into it but gain energy from doing it too. Then, one day, they suddenly realise they have millions in their bank account...

    I get the feeling you have yet to find your ideal role; but deep down you probably know what it is, which is why I asked the coach or mentor question. A mentor will help you focus in on a specific niche but a coach will help you find your ideal niche in the first place.
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by yukon View Post

    Nobody is going to take you serious when you keep mentioning Tai Lopez like it's something good.

    #not-in-my-garage
    Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

    yeah i suppose it the thing to do to ignore the most prolific internet marketer right now .. when you are on an internet marketing forum .

    it seem to be only people not makeing or not proving they make money online shooting him down..
    Can't we all just get along!

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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      Can't we all just get along!


      nope it is not part of being human at this point ..until we are all hybrids in 500 years attuned to our huger selves and only attracting those to us that we get along with ..

      and 500 years is optimistic ..
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

        nope it is not part of being human at this point ..until we are all hybrids in 500 years attuned to our huger selves and only attracting those to us that we get along with ..

        and 500 years is optimistic ..
        Huger selves, l hope not!

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  • Profile picture of the author Kingten
    To find a mentor you have to look for someone who is already or achieved what you want to achieve, if you don't know someone in person or someone in your area, then you have to search the internet and you will find someone who can mentor you.

    But when searching for mentor on internet make sure to dig deep & make your research on that particular person... because on internet every body claims to be an expert.

    The other thing is you must stop telling your friends about your dreams and goals,
    The reason they don't support you is because they don't see the possibility of what you tell them to happen in their life, so they think it's impossible for you to achieve that.

    Only share your dreams to people who has dreams too.
    Join Facebook groups and Forums you'll get the same minded people as you and they will support you
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

    Pretty much every who site the value of mentors .. worked for at least one of their mentors .
    I've noticed that.

    Seems that this IM/MMO space is the only place that thinks you can get the right mentor with a credit card. That's not how it works.

    You can hire a coach, or a teacher. But a mentor is someone who will help you steer your way around obstacles, provide a sounding board for your ideas, and in general support you in your journey because they want to. Not because you pay their rent every month.

    I've been doing this for a long time, and the notion of 'hiring a mentor' still makes no sense to me.
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