I have a couple different hobbies / passions. One is nature photography, and another is plants/terrariums and creative custom projects.
I invested a LOT of time and money into photography, and I am EXTREMELY good at it, and I always thought it was my "DESTINY," but when trying to make a business out of it by online marketing and teaching it to others, I began to despise what I was doing (not necessarily the hobby itself, but the business approach). There are many aspects of nature photography which I no longer do (partly because some of it is too physically and mentally demanding, and partly because I'm doing something else now....)
I finally decided to try another hobby / passion as a business - rare plants and terrariums and custom projects. I am approaching it from a different perspective than photography. I am less worried about making as much money, as I am concerned that I enjoy what I'm doing for a business. I thought that I enjoyed plants / terrariums much more, and I'm having fun with it. It seems great right now and I'm still excited about it. I am also combining aspects of the nature photography into this hobby.
The problem is, while I still do photography in the context of the plants and terrariums, when I look back at the things I produced while doing true nature photography of wildlife and nature outdoors (not during the business part, but during the creating out of passion part), I am still very impacted and blown away by my creations. I am inspired by it. And so is everyone else who sees it.
So I start freaking out, feeling like I have made the wrong choice. I am quite gifted at nature photography. But then I swapped to plants and terrariums, which I'm great at, and enjoy as well...but maybe the photography was still the right thing because of how incredible my talents are, and how much of my life has been dedicated to it, and how I used to think it was what I was supposed to do.
It's not like I can't do the nature photography / wildlife photography ever again... I still have the passion, the equipment, the skills (though a bit rusty by now!)...I can always do that on a personal basis as a break from the plants/terrarium "business" I am working on... then I won't despise the photography because I won't be teaching it to others, which I hate doing.
Maybe I'm overreacting simply because of the emotions I get when looking at my old nature photos? Maybe it's better I keep nature photography as my personal hobby, my private thing that I love and gives me a break from the rest of life? Maybe I should look at it from the perspective of, regardless of what I'm doing, I'm still using my talents and abilities, and enjoying what I'm doing?
Sometimes I even have crazy feelings that I should be doing something completely different from any of my hobbies. Like my destiny or path was supposed to be something else that is a challenge and I hate, but maybe if I developed it I could have a huge impact. Like motivational speaking or something like that. Because maybe it would cause the greatest amount of growth in me, and require crushing my fears and childhood issues. And let me help others who've going through the severe ordeals I've gone through in life.
I am torn and totally full of doubt and fear about my choice. I realize you can't know for sure because you don't truly have all of the info about my life, and can't feel what I'm feeling.
Has anyone else had a similar mental battle?