Do You Know Exactly What To Do But For Some Reason You Can't Do It?

26 replies
Self-sabotage is a big problem that lots of people deal with. It's very strange feeling to know exactly what to do, but your own beliefs and fears get in the way of your ability to take action.
Well, before you can fix this problem, you need to know why it happens:

1. More pain associated with taking action than not taking action - Most people procrastinate because the actions they need to take are not necessarily fun. The actions needed to achieve the results they want are sometimes painful.

Remember when you had a school project and you would wait until the last second to start working on it? The reason you waited till the last second was because working on that project was boring, difficult, tedious, and simply not fun.

So, one of the reasons we self-sabotage ourselves is because we are attempting to avoid pain by doing so.

2. Fear of the unknown - Most people are afraid of success. They are afraid of what success may bring. More responsibility. More expenses. More problems.

Most people are content with where they are in life. Life doesn't really suck, it's just not that great, so they are not motivated enough to get outside of their comfort zone. In order to be successful, you need to embrace change. You need to be okay with jumping into the unknown.

3. Identity clash - When you make the effort to achieve a new goal, your current identity will be challenged. The only way to achieve something you've never done before is to take actions you've never taken before and get out of your comfort zone.

In most cases, you will have to destroy your old identity and take up a new one which can be very painful. For example, if you believe yourself to be a person who just goes with the flow of life, you will have a hard time achieving goals that require strict scheduling and time management.
Sometimes we don't realize that we have an identity that is in direct conflict with the goal we are trying to achieve. It's tough to do, but most of the time you will have to make changes to your identity to get what you want in life.

==================================
How To Overcome Self-Sabotaging Behavior
==================================
Step 1: Embrace Discomfort And Do What You Need To Do Anyway

The truth is that getting outside of your comfort zone is uncomfortable, but it is only temporary. When you take new actions on a consistent basis, eventually those actions will become a part of your comfort zone.

However, in the beginning, getting outside your comfort zone is going to suck. It feels uncomfortable, it feels awkward, and it just feels wrong. But, you need to embrace the discomfort and do it anyway.

There is a sense of power and freedom that will come to you when you accept discomfort and pain while taking action anyway.

You'll develop an inner confidence that nobody can take away from you. This confidence will propel you to move forward and take on bigger challenges with a smile on face, because you know you can handle anything life throws at you.

Step 2: Turn Weaknesses Into Strengths

We all have weaknesses that are holding us back from success, but sometimes you can transform those weaknesses into strengths by giving them different meanings.

For example, I love to sleep. If I don't get my 8 hours of sleep I pretty much go through the day like a zombie. So, instead of looking at this as a weakness I decided to look at it as a strength. I make sure to get my 8 hours of sleep, but when I wake-up I get straight to work and put all that energy into the actions that will get me to success the fastest.

I use all that energy to tackle the actions that I'm afraid to do. The actions that require the most energy. I get all the hard stuff out the way early in the day, so by the end of the day I can go to sleep and get my 8 hours of peaceful sleep knowing that I handled my business.

I chose to look at this weakness as a strength. Getting 8 hours of sleep everyday gives me less time to work on my business, but it doesn't really matter because instead of wasting my time doing a bunch of random stuff, I simply focus on the tasks that have the biggest impact in my business.

So, I don't need to work a ton of hours, because I just focus on doing a few things that have a huge impact in my business growth, and this allows me to get my 8 hours of sleep every night without feeling like I'm not spending enough time on my business.

Anything that you see as a weakness can be transformed into a strength, but you must look at it differently.

Step 3: Do What You Love To Do
Too many people are doing things that they hate. A lot of the stuff that people do, doesn't need to be done. You can eliminate it completely from your life or you can hire someone to do it for you or automate it.

I don't have as much problems with self-sabotage as I used to because I only do the things I want to do.

I remember when I was pursuing a professional basketball career, I would practice all hours of the day. Pain and fear couldn't stop me from practicing because I loved basketball so much.

So, you need to stop doing things you don't want to do and focus on the things you want to do. Follow your passion. Figure out what it is you were put on this earth to do. Attach a strong "why" to your actions. What is your destiny?

You don't have to do what everybody else is doing.

Follow your heart. Follow your instinct.

Too many people are chasing the wrong things. Chasing money. Chasing fame. Chasing validation. How about you chase your dreams and aspirations and forget about following the crowd?

When you do what you love, self-sabotage becomes a thing of the past.
#can’t #reason
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    to a point i agree with much of what you are saying ..

    but i have found procrastination does not really exist .. if you do not want to do something and the price of not doing it is far less than the price of making a last minute effort.. you probably will not do it ..

    when i was a street performer in vegas until last year.. if there where people out on the strip and it was not to hot and sunny or to cold .. i would be out on the strip hustling for my money . and there was pain and discomfort involved..but need to put a roof over my head and food in my belly and buy my beers ..

    now instead of stepping way outside your comfort zone .. the better path is to constantly expand your comfort zone ..also what i have found is as you expand in areas in a positive ways.. several other thing expand with it.. so you constantly have to test old beliefs you had about past limits .. say you used to be very shy..there where many other limits you built because you where shy.. then you pushed out the and became a lot less shy or even outgoing.. now all these other limit expanded as well ..but you might still be acting as if they are .. the same old way.

    I will refer back to street performing .. which i did for a year and a half ..until it banned or restricted in las vegas to the point i could not make enough money .. but i went from being shy and introverted or in hiding .. to being out in crowds getting all the attention i could 8 10 12 hours a day or more .. and talking to pretty much everyone.. now the beer drinking helped and it went with the costume .. but i stopped drink before i stopped street performing ...and never went back to being shy .. now i am pretty comfortable chatting with nearly anyone without a costume on or a beer in my hand ..

    the love and passion factor matter ..but you have to learn what makes you passionate about doing something .. then build it into what ever you do or find things that fit in the framework ..and try not to lock yourself into something ..because as you grow your passions shift and what you love doing today ..a month from now can seem like self torture ..with the combine let down of wondering why the passion left ..

    so love what you do but try not to marry it and exchange lifetime vows .. unless of course you have been on the passion path since you where like 7 .. so you can actually pursue multiple passions or be fine shifting to different new more exciting passions on a regular basis ..

    Now I will disagree with you on looking at biological needs as weaknesses .. or strengths ..ignoring biological needs leads to really nasty problems over time or even in the short term ..so getting 8 hours a night sleep if you need it .. is not a weakness .. nor is it a strength.. it is a requirement that if you ignore there are a huge number of issues that come out over time .. also making sure you get the best sleep possible. or because you have to eat and drink fluids through the day ..learn what are the best things for you to eat that both taste good and promote health ..
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Step #1 is how it works Trey. Dead on advice. Fear seems to stop people but it is not there. Not real. So feel it, and proceed. Not always fun but it makes you more fearless which helps you live your dreams.
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    Ryan Biddulph, Blogger, Author, World Traveling Digital Nomad
    If you want to become a full time blogger you can buy my eBook here
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  • Profile picture of the author Nick Million
    I think its the Marines that have the saying "Embrace The Suck." You're 100% correct on it being uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful to begin taking action. Someone struggling to get started just has to try with all their might and willpower to take the first steps toward their goal no matter how uncomfortable and painful. Often working toward a goal is like rolling a heavy stone down a hill. It's a SOB to get it started but once you get moving it just gets easier and easier.
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    I agree overall, but Do What You Love, nope, that usually leads to broke and bitter.

    Doing what you love, is usually effort related or you do something or make something and get paid, and sure you can make a name for yourself and such, but when the economy is in a downhill trend, then profits tend to get slammed.

    Nothing wrong with doing what you love if it can be leveraged, but most aren't.

    I am doing what l like, and have been pretty bored with it over the last month of cramming, (Day trading books, etc) but it is showing good results and can lead to the passionate, no money one.

    Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author Zacison
    Thanks, good post!
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  • I agree 100% regarding the pain that comes with action. Even if you're doing something you want to do, if it's something new or different, the discomfort makes you yearn for what's familiar. And the familiarity is also the reason why most of us often fall back to what's familiar. We don't push through with action because we forget that the pain of change is temporary.
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    • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
      Exactly; it is the love of comfort and fear of discomfort that fuels blanket unhappiness in life. Gotta get comfy being uncomfortable to succeed in life and to largely enjoy the journey.
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      Ryan Biddulph, Blogger, Author, World Traveling Digital Nomad
      If you want to become a full time blogger you can buy my eBook here
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  • Profile picture of the author crackhouse
    i create a list then mundanely, languidly go through it. keeps me disciplined, some days, like today, i gotta have a "me" day and do nothing.
    Signature
    I sell backlinks on some of the most lucrative editorial websites in the world.

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  • Profile picture of the author Master Blake
    I woke up programmed and it felt so rife.

    Repetition is key but in order to devour a hypnotic program, you must
    get in a profound level of trance. It feels great, just wonderful.

    Just start with an open mind and make the transition to the next level.

    And say : This? Can do.

    Should work wonders.
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  • Profile picture of the author cearionmarie
    Your mind can be both your ally or your enemy. If you can take control of your thoughts then you take control the life you want to live. Thanks for sharing!
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    Cearion Uy - Marketing Advisor
    www.phlanx.com

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  • Profile picture of the author pwrlara1990
    I think the most important thing for people to note is to get out of your comfort zone. taking the first step is always the hardest, the fear of moving into the unknown, the fear of failing and all, but once youre out there you'll realize that you are more than who you think you are and that you can actually achieve a great deal.

    skip the emotional stir! get our of your comfort zone and life will only get much better!
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  • Profile picture of the author Dreamliferules
    Most important in beating procrastination is understanding that you have to start one step at a time. Nobody could stop procrastinate from one day to another, but we all can do baby step every single day. And then, when we forced ourselves to do something for 10,20,30 minutes, it´s not as hard as it was before. From that point, it´s a lot easier to beat procrastination and get job done.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ian5
    You posted a good guide. Nowadays, many people forget this simple rules. I always try to think clearly, control my emotions and mind. Sometimes it's hard to control myself, because different situations - different emotions and behavior.
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  • Profile picture of the author dannykunst
    Fear of success and fear of the unknown mostly...
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  • Profile picture of the author Bald Avenger
    I had my share of stumbling blocks until I decided to unlock my potential with hypnosis. With the very first sessions it felt fantastic and could already discern change.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sir Eliot Dundee
    Hey Avenger, I noticed from posts you listen to the Cosmic Master as well.

    I have all his recordings. I just don't post much these days because I'm living the dream.

    The tools define the craftsman, that's what I've gleaned through my journey.
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    • Profile picture of the author Bald Avenger
      I love the idea, notion, feeling of winning - and all it takes is a proper mindset.

      Originally Posted by Sir Eliot Dundee View Post

      Hey Avenger, I noticed from posts you listen to the Cosmic Master as well.

      I have all his recordings. I just don't post much these days because I'm living the dream.

      The tools define the craftsman, that's what I've gleaned through my journey.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11388438].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author salsym
    Originally Posted by Trey Morgan View Post

    Self-sabotage is a big problem that lots of people deal with. It's very strange feeling to know exactly what to do, but your own beliefs and fears get in the way of your ability to take action.
    Well, before you can fix this problem, you need to know why it happens:

    1. More pain associated with taking action than not taking action - Most people procrastinate because the actions they need to take are not necessarily fun. The actions needed to achieve the results they want are sometimes painful.

    Remember when you had a school project and you would wait until the last second to start working on it? The reason you waited till the last second was because working on that project was boring, difficult, tedious, and simply not fun.

    So, one of the reasons we self-sabotage ourselves is because we are attempting to avoid pain by doing so.

    2. Fear of the unknown - Most people are afraid of success. They are afraid of what success may bring. More responsibility. More expenses. More problems.

    Most people are content with where they are in life. Life doesn't really suck, it's just not that great, so they are not motivated enough to get outside of their comfort zone. In order to be successful, you need to embrace change. You need to be okay with jumping into the unknown.

    3. Identity clash - When you make the effort to achieve a new goal, your current identity will be challenged. The only way to achieve something you've never done before is to take actions you've never taken before and get out of your comfort zone.

    In most cases, you will have to destroy your old identity and take up a new one which can be very painful. For example, if you believe yourself to be a person who just goes with the flow of life, you will have a hard time achieving goals that require strict scheduling and time management.
    Sometimes we don't realize that we have an identity that is in direct conflict with the goal we are trying to achieve. It's tough to do, but most of the time you will have to make changes to your identity to get what you want in life.

    ==================================
    How To Overcome Self-Sabotaging Behavior
    ==================================
    Step 1: Embrace Discomfort And Do What You Need To Do Anyway

    The truth is that getting outside of your comfort zone is uncomfortable, but it is only temporary. When you take new actions on a consistent basis, eventually those actions will become a part of your comfort zone.

    However, in the beginning, getting outside your comfort zone is going to suck. It feels uncomfortable, it feels awkward, and it just feels wrong. But, you need to embrace the discomfort and do it anyway.

    There is a sense of power and freedom that will come to you when you accept discomfort and pain while taking action anyway.

    You'll develop an inner confidence that nobody can take away from you. This confidence will propel you to move forward and take on bigger challenges with a smile on face, because you know you can handle anything life throws at you.

    Step 2: Turn Weaknesses Into Strengths

    We all have weaknesses that are holding us back from success, but sometimes you can transform those weaknesses into strengths by giving them different meanings.

    For example, I love to sleep. If I don't get my 8 hours of sleep I pretty much go through the day like a zombie. So, instead of looking at this as a weakness I decided to look at it as a strength. I make sure to get my 8 hours of sleep, but when I wake-up I get straight to work and put all that energy into the actions that will get me to success the fastest.

    I use all that energy to tackle the actions that I'm afraid to do. The actions that require the most energy. I get all the hard stuff out the way early in the day, so by the end of the day I can go to sleep and get my 8 hours of peaceful sleep knowing that I handled my business.

    I chose to look at this weakness as a strength. Getting 8 hours of sleep everyday gives me less time to work on my business, but it doesn't really matter because instead of wasting my time doing a bunch of random stuff, I simply focus on the tasks that have the biggest impact in my business.

    So, I don't need to work a ton of hours, because I just focus on doing a few things that have a huge impact in my business growth, and this allows me to get my 8 hours of sleep every night without feeling like I'm not spending enough time on my business.

    Anything that you see as a weakness can be transformed into a strength, but you must look at it differently.

    Step 3: Do What You Love To Do
    Too many people are doing things that they hate. A lot of the stuff that people do, doesn't need to be done. You can eliminate it completely from your life or you can hire someone to do it for you or automate it.

    I don't have as much problems with self-sabotage as I used to because I only do the things I want to do.

    I remember when I was pursuing a professional basketball career, I would practice all hours of the day. Pain and fear couldn't stop me from practicing because I loved basketball so much.

    So, you need to stop doing things you don't want to do and focus on the things you want to do. Follow your passion. Figure out what it is you were put on this earth to do. Attach a strong "why" to your actions. What is your destiny?

    You don't have to do what everybody else is doing.

    Follow your heart. Follow your instinct.

    Too many people are chasing the wrong things. Chasing money. Chasing fame. Chasing validation. How about you chase your dreams and aspirations and forget about following the crowd?

    When you do what you love, self-sabotage becomes a thing of the past.
    I agree with you when you say "Fear of the unknown - Most people are afraid of success.". But one more reason is associated with being afraid of success and that reason is afraid of killing your dreams. Today, you have a dream but many of us are scared of loosing our dreams and converting it to reality.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by salsym View Post

      Today, you have a dream but many of us are scared of loosing our dreams and converting it to reality.
      Please don't quote an entire lengthly post to respond to someone. Pick a sentence or two. You are clogging up the forum for no good reason.
      Signature

      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author Immortal Fascist
    Nothing is new to eternity.
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  • Profile picture of the author Master Blake
    The problem is that you're in a loop and that's the focal reason you
    remain stagnant of the progress you were supposed to have. That...

    ...can change with mind programming. I was in "the loop" until I immersed
    in the catacombs of the mental matrix and affected reality through dreams.

    Dreams are also a reality. If you change the course of a dream, be sure as
    heck that you can tamper with reality in order to have the result that you want.
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  • Profile picture of the author Reeaseorganizer
    Banned
    This article might also be helpful, it explains the origin and reasons of procrastination and how to overcome it.

    https://medium.com/@marcstueber/proc...t-46a2c8b66151
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  • Profile picture of the author anthonyvilla
    Damn this was a really informative post, really needed to hear some of this stuff, thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    Originally Posted by Trey Morgan View Post

    Do You Know Exactly What To Do But For Some Reason You Can't Do It?

    It is a two part question and it only needs a two part answer..


    "Do You Know Exactly What To Do"
    answer: yes


    "But For Some Reason You Can't Do It?"
    answer: I am married and that is the reason


    Jeffery 100%
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    WarriorHelp.com
    Webmaster to the Stars
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      It is a two part question and it only needs a two part answer..


      "Do You Know Exactly What To Do"
      answer: yes


      "But For Some Reason You Can't Do It?"
      answer: I am married and that is the reason


      Jeffery 100%
      is that because your your wife has a better list of what you need to do than you usually come up with ..haha
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      • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
        Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

        is that because your your wife has a better list of what you need to do than you usually come up with ..haha

        Yepper, actually she has two lists that I have been trained to pay attention to: 1) honey do list (honey do this and honey do that) and 2) honey, why didn't you do this and do that.


        The only good things about the lists are they always start with the wife and the only bad thing about the lists is.. I usually end up sleeping on the couch, lol.
        Signature
        WarriorHelp.com
        Webmaster to the Stars
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        • Profile picture of the author Odahh
          Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

          Yepper, actually she has two lists that I have been trained to pay attention to: 1) honey do list (honey do this and honey do that) and 2) honey, why didn't you do this and do that.


          The only good things about the lists are they always start with the wife and the only bad thing about the lists is.. I usually end up sleeping on the couch, lol.
          you at least make sure you get a very comfy couch when you buy a new couch then huh ?
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