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Humor for Psychopaths

by OptedIn
15 replies
A young boy and an older man are walking through the woods late at night. It's foggy and dark so they're holding hands. The little boy stops and looks up at the man and says, "I'm scared." The man replies, "You're scared? I have to make the trip back to the car all by myself."
#humor #psychopaths
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    I'm still laughing.


    Not a good sign, is it?
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      I'm still laughing. Not a good sign, is it?
      No. Not, at all. lol

      I thought I posted that in the OT, but I can certainly understand how, if I did, it found its way, here. :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Lol. Reminds me of this:

    ...


    ... 7-Minute Abs!
    (Lol)
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    A young boy and an older man are walking through the woods late at night. It's foggy and dark so they're holding hands. The little boy stops and looks up at the man and says, "I'm scared." The man replies, "You're scared? I have to make the trip back to the car all by myself."

    I was driving with a friend, and we passed a young girl hitchhiking. As we approached in the car...my friend said to me "I brought the rope"...and I said "I brought the shovel".
    We both said it in a completely deadpan way.

    We picked up the girl, took her to her home (if I remember), and then started laughing. We both knew not to laugh (or bring up what we were laughing about) with the girl in the car.

    if you like psychopathic humor, just watch any Youtube video of Anthony Jeselnik. A brilliant stand up.
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    I endeavor always to maintain an' easy kinda face -- smilin' when I can cos research says this uses less muscles than frownin', an' always seekin' a homesy demeanor when ima flamin' sum creep outta their ass -- BUT this one had me convulsin' in a manner most disturbin' cos I could feel myself contributin' to fyooture facial wrinkles no cream ever gonna smooth out.


    Small price to pay tho -- speshly how if'n I'd revealed my vulnerable side this way over on the PSYCHOPATHS EAGER TO DE-FLESH YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY ON A WHIM ... USING A ROLLING PIN BCS IN JOKE forum, likely I'd now be lockin' myself away in my refrigerator costoomed as a zucchini.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    A young boy and an older man are walking through the woods late at night. It's foggy and dark so they're holding hands. The little boy stops and looks up at the man and says, "I'm scared." The man replies, "You're scared? I have to make the trip back to the car all by myself."
    the funny part ..is the other options that flood in after the darker one ..

    as i have a way with people who can handle it .. have a way to make such situations sound darker than they are in a humorous way ..

    now as for claude's story if instead of a shovel the friend said i had a blindfold and gag ..in today's world 7 ot of 10 woman willing to hitchhike would be upset nothing would happen ..
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      now as for claude's story if instead of a shovel the friend said i had a blindfold and gag ..in today's world 7 ot of 10 woman willing to hitchhike would be upset nothing would happen ..
      I was watching a "self defense" lesson where the instructor was teaching women how to defend themselves against an attacker..if the woman is hitchhiking.

      After the "lesson", I told the woman instructor that the solution was to never hitchhike in the first place. When she told me that this was unreasonable, I told her that nothing she taught was useful against a committed attacker that's stronger than you are.

      She wasn't happy with that (I did this after everyone left. The "instructor" was a woman I knew). And I told her that "Not being there" is the defense that works every time.

      I also told her that the only advice she gave that was really useful was to throw up on the attacker, if you feel an attack is eminent.

      I also told her that if the hitchhiker copied down the license number of the car that picked her up, texted it to a friend, and let the driver know that she did that..and what time she
      told her friend that she would arrive....it would probably stop any ill intentions.

      I'm not joking..

      I once asked a woman out (in a bar) and she told me that she needed my drivers licence...she took it to a friend (right then) and they wrote down the number. She then asked if I had proof that I was divorced..this may have been 32 years ago. I remember that she wanted my parent's phone number. I had just met her that evening.

      By this time, I lost interest...but decided to ask for her ID, and told her that her and her friend could attack me...or kidnap me...and a man couldn't be too careful. It was a fun game of "Who is more ridiculous?"...I kept at it until she lost interest. A fun hour for me. And...she actually called my Dad a few days later...to make sure I was who I said I was....it made for an interesting story.

      I am sooooo happy that those "dating" years are far behind me...never to return.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    claude serious answer to a joke ..

    as for hitchhiking.. if a woman has a phone she can text with or a smartphone..there is this thing called uber and lyft and other ride sharing ..

    as i said 7 out of 10 woman who hich hike in this day and age may be into getting tie up and gagged
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      claude serious answer to a joke ..

      as for hitchhiking.. if a woman has a phone she can text with or a smartphone..there is this thing called uber and lyft and other ride sharing ..

      as i said 7 out of 10 woman who hich hike in this day and age may be into getting tie up and gagged
      Uber? Well, I guess if you want to increase your chances of being raped, that's one way to go. lol
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      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        [QUOTE=OptedIn;11437691]Uber? Well, I guess if you want to increase your chances of being raped, that's one way to go. lol[/QUOT

        the problem here .. is that most of those uber sexual assault happen to intoxicated woman .. well i can definatly fault uber for both targeting people to use them for a safe ride home for people drinking.. and not screening drivers near enough .

        so yeah .. getting into a vehicle .. any vehicle with a stranger driving .. has it risks and those risks go up dramatically based un chemical influences .. but this is to deep a subject for the thread and board ..
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    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      claude serious answer to a joke ..

      as for hitchhiking.. if a woman has a phone she can text with or a smartphone..there is this thing called uber and lyft and other ride sharing ..

      as i said 7 out of 10 woman who hich hike in this day and age may be into getting tie up and gagged

      If she had a car she could drive herself as readily as you are driving away from the very essence of hitchiking...
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    • Profile picture of the author jsc420
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      as i said 7 out of 10 woman who hich hike in this day and age may be into getting tie up and gagged
      Not sure in what kind of twisted world you live, but I can guarantee you this is not the case in Europe or in Asia...
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  • Profile picture of the author Fabian Boleslaw
    haha, I heart it in Hungary, I haven't thought that there is an English version of that, lol!
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Read the thread title - it's a joke....
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    If at the end of the day you smell like a horse...then it was a good day.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Read the thread title - it's a joke....
      As are the most of the spurt of posts he/she has sprinkled throughout the forum, this evening. I think someone is lonely. :-)
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