Why should I care?

It was a tossup whether to allow this thread or delete it.

Sounds like a pity party. Sorry - but if you aren't working but can 'do' martial arts ...if you are not willing to 'start over' at age 28....not sure what anyone here can say to motivate you.


Sounds like it's time to do that - statistics say you probalby have another 50 years or so to live....is this the way you want to proceed? Have you considered a REAL change? Get a job - join the military - sign up with a non-profit to help others....

Stop being a 'loser' by doing something with your time and your life. Don't be living on a relative's 'dime' - dig into your life and make it something you are proud of.

I think you can learn a lot from your struggles. You have all these negative experiences in your life but there are a lot of ways you can grow from them and expand your life to more positive experiences. I am not trying to down play your situation at all but use the bad things in your life to fuel your fire to get some where better. Even if the situation you personally are in is not enough of a reason you feel to make a change find another good enough reason "why". You mentioned your grandmother lives in the ghetto as well in terrible conditions. If you care about her why not use her as "motivation" to get yourself and her out of the situation you are in. Work, earn and learn so that you can give her a better life. Focusing on that might take your mind of how you feel about yourself and your situation. We are all trying to move forward in life. Best of luck to you..

well there is a difference between depression that comes and goes and full scale discouragement .. where you are not talking about bi polar disorder or a diagnoses of such . the state of losing has stuck around so long you have become discouraged .. i have been there was there close to 20 years .. and only cam out a few years ago..

you havn't mention any kids of your own.. which you should actually declare a person win.. as you are not passing this own or raising a child in the situation you are in ..so you have made good choice there ..and a choice that make you getting out of poverty much less difficult ..

and nothing wrong with drinking .. if your not constantly drunk .. and how can you affor to smoke tobacco or weed .. or drink without a job ? if your mooching off people stop.. find away to make money that is not currently illegal and support your own bad habits ..if anything roll your own cigrattes it is cheeper .

you can find way to improve your life from where you are .i am reading into it to much but there are things you didn't say( like mentioning children) that say you may have been cautious about doing thing that would actually trap you where you are ..children, hard drug, felonies that get you jail time and long term probation..

you might be a good person in a bad environment ..suffering from frustration and discouragement .. not a medical or mental illness of chronic depression ..

Brazilian jujitsu might actually help ..and get you improving in some area of your life

but as it is people drop these things on the board and never return so ill wait to say anymore ..get some confirmation from the person who posted..

but if you are in a shitty or seeming shitty situation for a long period of time .. there is nothing wrong with feeling shitty about it .. and it will just get worse until you actually work on it

Gotta remember always how your point of view is a movin' target.

What plays (or don't play) today won't stay the same tamara.

Evidence?

Stop by your 14yo self an' see what has changed.

Tellya, I would not be seen dead now in my 14yo undergarments.

Plus, I cared way too much 'bout my stoopid hair.

Thing is tho, sumtimes stuff gets kinda stuck, an' while your life story seems this way it can feel like it gonna last forevah.

But nuthin' nevah lasts forevah.

That is why we got Big Bang Theory now 'steada Friends.

So I would wanna flip your question, see if we can stir sumthin' up gonna helpya out.

"Why should I care?" is a valid question always to ask -- speshly when things ain't workin' out.

So why not ask "Why should I NOT care?"

Gotta hope this gonna clarify WHAT MATTERS -- a whole buncha stuff you can mebbe get positive about.

I betcha there be plenty stuff which ... on reflection ... you cannot bring yourself to NOT CARE about.

Whatevah your plan for June, start here.

With that ONE PERSON you can't not care about, that ONE TV SHOW you can't miss, that one goofy frickin' candy bar you kinda like, that street you keep walkin' down which is way better than all the streets you don't like, the joggers you keep wearin' 'steada the hula skirt makes your ass look stoopid ... the stuff you discovah actshwlly matters.

Also mebbe you might see stuff that hey yeah ain't no use in your life & that is cool.

Deliberate stops are some of life's bestest evah starts -- speshly when it comes to LAME BOYFRIENDS.

Thing is, you ain't nevah stuck nor doomed nor whatevah PERMANENTLY bcs the planet is in constant flux ... an' trooly sumthin' gonna show up.

An' like Kay says, your 28yo body clock promises plenty years ahead.

You can't see 'em now, you can't figure it, but that don't mean the fyooture is impossible.

Jus' means walkin' around, keepin' tabs on your heart & braino, watchin' stuff unfold without you mebbe got immediate control.

But if you get real stuck figurin' Why Should I Not Care, your next days & weeks gonna pitch you food for thought.

Can you 100% say I DON'T CARE 'BOUT XXX? Or YYY? Or ZEEEEEEEEE?

You got 5% doubt here, you got real positive catalyst stuffs you can work with.

Kinda ... Why MAY I care?

Or ... Why MIGHT I care?

Here be motion, next steps you mebbe wanna walk.

The best advice I can give you is this:

If you don't like the life that you have now, CHANGE IT. Crying or complaining about it will not make the situation better for you.

You also need to change your mindset because even if you lived in the best neighborhood in the world and had lots of money, you could still have a miserable life and not be happy.

You can't do that overnight and the best way to work on your new and positive mindset so to speak, is to read motivational books and listen to audios.

Everyone is born to die. It is the destination of everyone. Coping with depression requires two things: Awareness and Pattern Interrupts.

The cycle is, see your environment, it sucks, adds to your depression, creates a low energy, why bother, wake up and repeat. Don't know if anything will work, but some things to try are...

Change the morning. By half an hour, get up earlier, if you get out of bed at all. If not, set an alarm. Spend first waking moments pretending it is going to be a better day.

Take time, a piece of paper, write out your routine. Do you stretch and practice your martial art first thing? Pretend your opponent is your current life, beat the shit out of that MFer, throw punches, kicks, and a flurry of controlled activity. Exhaust yourself quickly.

OK, write a note about your diet, what for breakfast, if anything. What chores do you do around the house? Spend 20 minutes a day talking to your Grandmother about her life as a young women. LISTEN. There might be some insight there. Maybe not, but be interested in how she got to NOW.

If you have a phone, set the timer for 59 minutes, when it goes off, spend ONE minute thinking and noting the last hour. Rate it; sucked, sucked big time, sucked giant ass. How you feel. Consider the next hour, it is coming at you.

Your martial arts COULD BE your lifeline, because if you can get your body to be active in a given direction, then you have a chance of controlling your mind, which is what you don't have, or people with depression struggle with. They FOCUS on past/future.

Your default thoughts are negative because your past is negative and the future looks the same. During that ONE minute an hour, be present, in the NOW.

Become aware of your surroundings. ONE MINUTE only.

I agree with Kay that becoming a volunteer, somewhere, for a few hours a week, and do so with the idea you will be totally present then...or at least THINK you can...maybe you can volunteer at the martial arts center to help kids. Or the animal control in your area to look after dogs and cats.

Or SENIORS, LIKE your Grandmother, give a little time to be a surrogate Granddaughter to those who may be all alone, in your neighborhood, just as scared as everyone else.

It takes time, one hour at a time, to be able to SEE and FEEL your thoughts and try to interrupt them. Awareness requires four things:

Desired Involvement. You must want to be aware.
Conscious focus, (observation). The one minute an hour, then maybe one minute half an hour.
Correct conclusions.
Meaningful action.

See, you can begin with the action via your martial arts. Is it true that if you practice correctly daily, you will improve? If you think so, then that is a correct conclusion, and tells you to improve you need to focus, if you have the desire.

So, once you are AWARE of you in your current environment, by way of your daily movement and routines, then you are able to INTERRUPT THE PATTERNS, of thought and replace them with more empowering ones, just as you practice your martial arts movements, over and over and over so they become RESPONSES instinctively, so you must do the same with your mind, which is why I say

Ohio is PARADISE.

It has to be. I've traveled the world, and I live here. By choice even. Once I quit hating the place and got outside of myself, I found there are some pretty decent folk who live here, but they seldom knock on your door to ask if you need any help, eh?

Good luck, it is tough. You can be and ARE tougher.

GordonJ

I have heard that selling clothing on Ebay works quite well, (others here has mentioned it, l havn't tried that myself).

Yes, l tend to have that problem all of the time with online stock trading, or when l lose money l feel good, and when l make it l feel discontent, as crazy as that sounds.

So because of this l have let opportunities slip through my fingers, or the fear of past failures have made me too rapped up in cotton wool or l tend to get in too late and get out too early.

I have recently got seriously fed up with this pattern and have changed tracks, which should show a definite improvement from now on.

Fear is a weird one, or it is like your subconscious is comfortable with present circumstances, so sabotages or clings into that, while you consciously want to improve your situation, but the fear of a better life and sitting on the balcony of your 5 star hotel overlooking the beach is just too much to bear.

Most online traders, (as an example) tend to lose all of their money after a few months or a year of trading, and give up, since they want to fail or that is their goal, to fail and go back to working hard for long periods with hopefully a reward at the end.

That is what l am currently concentrating on, staying with dominant markers and cutting my losses when it is fairly obvious to do so.

Instead of less tangible concepts that are prone to distortion by my subconscious that wants me to fail completely and go back to something, fun, painfully slow and equally slow to profit from.

Good luck...

Understandable...but abortions don't fall under 'shit happens'. Decisions have consequences - which is how we learn to make better decisions in the future. If you had a bad childhood - you aren't alone. At 28, time to learn to be an adult instead of staying focused on the past.



here's a potential first step - tomorrow is Memorial Day. Get up and dressed and attend a Memorial Day ceremony in your local cemetery or wherever there is a ceremony near your home.



Good day to think of others who gave their lives so you can be free to live your life. An hour of your time - thinking about others instead of yourself - could be a good first step.

You should care because there's beautiful world out there.


And remember: you're awesome.

Ok, but l wouldn't suggest Forex initially because of the big losses you can occur, and the ridiculous initial costs incurred by some traders.

Trading is like any online business, hard and slow initially but you get better at it over time.

And most newbies, eventhough some clearly have beginners luck on their side, also make a ton of mistakes and ultimately lose the lot.

It is like they say, "l became an overnight success, but it took me a few years to do so"....

I have to ask....why? Because it looks like an easy way to get rich? Because you hang out on HYIP forums where people sell 'how to do Forex'?

I honestly don't understand why anyone without significant funds and in depth understanding of economics would go anywhere NEAR Forex.

I know some folks like to talk about it and think it sounds 'important' - but it's a quick trip to the poorhouse for dreamers and most who talk to you about it have something to sell you. If you are serious about living a better life - skip the get rich quick stuff.

Gotta figure Forex is when you bummed out after bein' dumped bcs you still chompin' on pizza flavors you hated till you met the loser.

To the OP -

I live in Ohio, too. After a beautiful day spent outdoors with family at a state park we were on the patio and my son (the weatherman) pointed to a dark, flat cloud in the sky. He said "that table cloud doesn't look good - I'm glad it's not headed this way".

It was the storm that spawned tornadoes in 4 counties in and around Dayton, OH last night... An hour away from my home people were losing their homes last night.

So - if you live in Ohio - and you didn't get 'tornado'd on' last night....you should be having a great day!

"Everyone is born to die. But what we do is what matters.

You may think you are the only one who's going through this, but I want, you to know that every single person on this Earth has asked themselves this question. What is the use of us being here?

Take a year off and go travel. This is the best medicine you can get. Meet different souls and learn to appreciate the little things. They're not all that bad. We all take our meal for granted but only when we come to a point where we are hungry, but unable to eat do we realize the value of food. I never enjoyed sunrises or sunsets until I came across this blind person on the road one day. Now I make sure to be blessed for every sunrise and every sunset I see.

Travel, meet more people. Since you're learning martial arts, safety should be promised. I've made it a point that if I ever feel suicidal in my life, then I would run. run away to see where the universe takes me rather than kill myself coz life is precious. And you'll only realize that when your loved ones die and you hear yourself crying as you've never seen yourself before.

One can always start over. It is just a matter of heart to accept this. You don't need to prove it to anyone else but you.

Don't give up."

Gotta figure how WF's immaculately self-flourishin' underbelly is kinda crackin' off into action here as we strive beyond the personal to sum kinda EVRYWAN FIGURES stuffs.

Ask an answerable question, prolly you gonna fill up on ansas better'n if you conjecture way stoopid stuffs, I dunno.

Then you gotta choose, I guess.

It is beyond doubt that we all so unique we got universal discourse possibilities with nowan specific-- less'n we servant or mastah out on the respective (an' frankly overpriced imho) costooms & accessories either proffered from on high or hand-crocheted from way down low (like mebbe you slay a cherished pet for its fur).

That is why we step out from day to day in a confluxswarm fulla undeniable obviousness (kinda the Earth), undeniable Moistuffs (way I am, kinda hair so lank nowan gonna weave no rope from outta my ass after I'm slain, plus also I could way handle bein' less scrawny less'n it be Halloween bcs I ain't no one-day-in-the-year deathmonger cravin' actschwl unactional CARBS), plus ... an' I got aheada myself with that last parenthetical whatevah ... undeniable interaction between selfstuffs & non-selfstuffs, howevah conscious we are 'bout what is gowin' on in that Personal Synapse cum Hey These Jus' Random Atoms Swoilin' Round In The Cosmos, You Frickin' Ditz kinda Nowhole we all agree we inhabit -- least'n till mebbe next week.

Meantime, forums is meet points, Aye or STFU.

Can't say which way shit gonna swing, evah, but all myootualy agreed discourse -- even shoutin' yer tits off -- dialogs evrywan along, nextest steps.

Interaction is pulse, I guess -- even if we trawlin' meditation gooroos gonna set us free on our idiosyncratically exotic pathway to solitood.

That is why we all stoppin' by on change's exotica ... 'steada ossifyin' out into rock ... switchin' out IRL moments & moods & strategies ... even if they mainline super frequently around no kinda end-of-comment headline says


Tellya, ima addin' value to your very existence you ain't gettin' noplace else -- an' I would wanna figure this self-servin' hoobris is myootyool.

If'n it ain't, quit bendin' ovah jus' cos I a Princess -- less'n you a prize-winnin' gymnast, or trashed to the floor by cyborg rhino hordes brandishin' max frickin' firepowah got your name on it ...

You should care because The Master is there/

Well let me tell you something ,nobody can hit you as hard as life but important its how much time you get hit and you keep going ,the words of silvester stalone . Now we get back to your problem ,the thing its that you used to teach your brain to accept this life of pain ,suference etc and its hard for you to make a change .The thing its how bad do tou want to make a change ? Be advise that this its not easy as your brain will try to bring you back in your comfort zone of pain suference etc .

Who is missing? The person who asked the question that started this thread.

Find your talent and do your best to leave that living condition.