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After the age of 30!

by UltraOne
18 replies
As I've gotten older, I've made more and more major choices. After getting married and having kids, the decisions just kept coming. And while I see some of my friends struggling with the weight of these choices, I feel like I've been able to thrive because of these decisions.

I think a big part of why I've been successful - success to me is being a good provider to my family - is because I'm willing to sacrifice for the things that matter to me. I know that in order to provide for my family, there are going to be times when I have to put their needs above my own. And while it's not always easy, it's something I'm happy to do.

My friends always go out and spend money on meaningless and useless things, and when there is an emergency, they don't have enough and they always come to me, they know I always get their back. I will not never bail on them, they after all my friends, or my only friends I have known. Instead of my going out everyday, I devoted my time to learn new skills, and invest in myself, I only see my friends twice a month, or just once depends on my schedule, even I hate reading, but I will do it if I cannot find a good audible material, I learn things never was taught in schools.

They choose an office job, a secured job - I don't have a problem with office jobs - but even with this, they are not willing to invest in themselves, or even develop their skills that can help them getting somewhere in their office job. They say they are old to invest in themselves or to learn something new, My GOD, we're still in our late 30s for God sake..

I hear their wives nagging, every time we all go out, and I don't want to put the blame on their husbands, after all, they're my friends.

When my father retired from military, he decided to teach English for free for kids who came from different ethnicity, it had a great impact on him. Dealing with civilians was something he is not used to for so long. After this he decided to learn more about shipping and logistics and he is still making success in this field.

Is it just me, or you think too that there is a certain stage where you're not suppose to learn something new? I don't who said this, but I agree that Age is just a Number.

I would love to hear your insights?
#age
  • Profile picture of the author spartan14
    From what i read you are smart and this makes a big diference because you invest in yourself ,you choose to make a business instead being locked im a 9to 5 job .But regarding the age of 30 its a stupid idea to think you are to old for new things ,building your dream etc .I know many succesful people that build theyr huge dreams after the age of 40 or 50 so why shpuld you think you are too old at age of 30 ? Nonsense
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    You haven't told us what you do, but l will assume it is a business.

    A 9/5 is good for the short term and not so good for the long.

    A business is not so good for the short term, (high failure or learning rate) but good and usually very good in the long term.

    I am in my 50's and have been held back for a long time, failing and learning, although things are beginning to go in my favor now.

    And the pile of things l want to do can be marked off, which requires a fair amount of learning and failing.

    But also requires a strong capital base, or subcontract out certain tasks, which speeds up innovation and discovery, (l learned that one from Ironman).
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    • Profile picture of the author UltraOne
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      You haven't told us what you do, but l will assume it is a business.

      A 9/5 is good for the short term and not so good for the long.

      A business is not so good for the short term, (high failure or learning rate) but good and usually very good in the long term.

      I am in my 50's and have been held back for a long time, failing and learning, although things are beginning to go in my favor now.

      And the pile of things l want to do can be marked off, which requires a fair amount of learning and failing.

      But also requires a strong capital base, or subcontract out certain tasks, which speeds up innovation and discovery, (l learned that one from Ironman).
      Thank you for your wisdom, I am learning so much from your comment. I am an Account Manager at Global Data Center, a provider consultant for leasing IP resources, Gateway solutions, and premium connectivity. I have done work for several industries before that helped to get to what I do now. Reading and learning got me to what I want, things they don't teach us at school, so why stop there. This is why I feel I made the right decision for not accepting where I was, yes sacrifices are meant to be made, not being so much close to my friends like I did before, but having a family made me want only the best for them, and I am happy to do that for them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by UltraOne View Post

    Is it just me, or you think too that there is a certain stage where you're not suppose to learn something new? I don't who said this, but I agree that Age is just a Number.

    I would love to hear your insights?
    You can always learn something new.

    I'm 67, so I'm talking about what happens when you are much older.

    Age is a number, but that number actually means something.

    For example, I may decide to learn a new hobby.....but probably not start another company. Why? How many useful working years do I have left? 10? Less?

    Do I want to take risks when I have so much to lose monetarily, and so little time to get it back?

    But learning? Why would you ever want to stop?
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    • Profile picture of the author UltraOne
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      You can always learn something new.

      I'm 67, so I'm talking about what happens when you are much older.

      Age is a number, but that number actually means something.

      For example, I may decide to learn a new hobby.....but probably not start another company. Why? How many useful working years do I have left? 10? Less?

      Do I want to take risks when I have so much to lose monetarily, and so little time to get it back?

      But learning? Why would you ever want to stop?
      I am taking your advice very seriously, I can always learn something new. Thank you for your wisdom, I just realized I replied to you but your comment was not for me, it was for Frank Donovan, that was very deep I must say. God bless you with good health and long life.


      Regards,
      Adam
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      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by UltraOne View Post

        I am taking your advice very seriously, I can always learn something new. Thank you for your wisdom, I just realized I replied to you but your comment was not for me, it was for Frank Donovan, that was very deep I must say. God bless you with good health and long life.


        Regards,
        Adam
        There is an endless amount of new things to learn and a verity of ways available to learn depending on what is the best way you learn.

        When you are interested in learning something new make friends with people who have similar interests and will make learning more enjoyable.

        Why do you feel thing are to easy. It could easily be the correct choices in your life .that led to the life you have now. That gives you not much to complain about. That fuels your desire to learn more.
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    One thing you could do with learning is that you're never too old to get new friends.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      One thing you could do with learning is that you're never too old to get new friends.
      Sir;
      I hope this doesn't embarrass you.

      This post is like a long line of posts by you...over the years...that show wisdom and wit.

      I don't know how much introspection you do (I assume a lot). But when I consistently see someone say insightful things, I start wondering about them.

      Is it education? Raw intelligence? A social intelligence gathered from an excellent family upbringing?

      I'm going to assume you know the answer. And I'm genuinely curious.

      I know questions like this are uncomfortable for most people.
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      • Profile picture of the author UltraOne
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Sir;
        I hope this doesn't embarrass you.

        This post is like a long line of posts by you...over the years...that show wisdom and wit.

        I don't know how much introspection you do (I assume a lot). But when I consistently see someone say insightful things, I start wondering about them.

        Is it education? Raw intelligence? A social intelligence gathered from an excellent family upbringing?

        I'm going to assume you know the answer. And I'm genuinely curious.

        I know questions like this are uncomfortable for most people.
        Thank you boss, I really appreciate all these questions, especially when it comes from someone has much experience in life than myself.

        As I mentioned earlier, I am in my late 30s, and have already started a family, and I have been doing some thinking. I am happy were I am now, and it's kind of scarring me a little, because I know life should not be easy. Maybe I have some sort of in intelligence that helps me to kind of avoiding seeing the negative in my life, but I know it's there for sure, it's just somehow I don't complaint much lately, and somehow I can control my negative thoughts and I consider this as one of blessings.

        You are absolutely tight about family bringing up, my father is a retired military, I don't recall ever seeing my parents arguing about anything, yes just the normal conversations between two married people, but everything was subject to a discussion.

        When I hear people bragging about their life, I realized that my life is more interesting than them, but I never had the urge to talk about it, sometimes I actually forget a lot of chapters in the past until someone bring them up. I used to travel a lot, before the pandemic, I guess this has changed a lot in my personality, seeing different cultures, realizing the world is so big and there is so much we don't know about each other.



        Regards,
        Adam
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      • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I'm going to assume you know the answer.
        First, thank you for the compliment, but even if I were to accept what you say at face value, I'm not sure I'd be able to answer other than in the general.

        I suspect that qualities like wisdom and wit are to a greater or lesser extent a product of connections. By that I mean you see how certain things are connected - sometimes clearly, sometime more tenuously, and on occasion quite absurdly - and you draw a line between them that you hope is illuminating or at least strikes a chord with someone else's experience.

        I think you're right that introspection plays a part. Also, it gets easier with age presumably because you can call on more raw material - and thus more connections - as long as the mind remains agile. There are several forum members of our vintage ( not least yourself) who demonstrate this consistently.

        Anyway, how dare you derail a thread - and in the Mind section of all areas!!
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Sir;
        I hope this doesn't embarrass you.

        This post is like a long line of posts by you...over the years...that show wisdom and wit.

        I don't know how much introspection you do (I assume a lot). But when I consistently see someone say insightful things, I start wondering about them.

        Is it education? Raw intelligence? A social intelligence gathered from an excellent family upbringing?

        I'm going to assume you know the answer. And I'm genuinely curious.

        I know questions like this are uncomfortable for most people.
        I,d say he was talking about the ones that hang out in parks, peck at bread crumbs and have a fertilizer problem?

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    • Profile picture of the author UltraOne
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      One thing you could do with learning is that you're never too old to get new friends.
      What a wise thing to say, I really appreciate that. Indeed it's never too old to get new friends. Thank you so much!


      Regards,
      Adam
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Gotta tellya, when I hit 30 I gazed in the mirrah an' wept.

    "It is all ovah, Sweetie. Nowan don't care no more."

    Then I figured ... actschlly, them boobies still look kinda perky.

    Plus you ain't quite as frickin' gobshite as you were when hormonal teen gusts seemed always to be set to MAX SQUIRT by default.

    Concloosion?

    I am transformed by my interaction with a Caahsmaas ain't same as evah it was.

    So there are noo possibilities ... stuff I could nevah get to until now.

    Mebbe these wondahs have visited me ovah an' ovah, but I been feebly placed to witness 'em.

    An' what am I trooly to make of them venerbyool octogenarian moments in the fyootyoore before eithah them days passed an' I changed along with 'em?

    That is why I would wish to favor a heartsy convergence of experience an' spontaneity 'gainst a perpetyooly movin' target.

    All days are equally noo for evrywan here, babes to El Wrinklismo.

    An' you jus' gotta mustah yusself sweet as you are.

    Self-mastery. Self mustary.
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    Banned
    Originally Posted by UltraOne View Post

    Is it just me, or you think too that there is a certain stage where you're not suppose to learn something new? I don't who said this, but I agree that Age is just a Number.

    but wat if u want to be an olympic gymnast.
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    Yup, there is: when you're too old to he alive.

    In my case, that is 140 years and 3 months.



    Originally Posted by UltraOne View Post

    Is it just me, or you think too that there is a certain stage where you're not suppose to learn something new? I don't who said this, but I agree that Age is just a Number.

    I would love to hear your insights?
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  • Profile picture of the author EllanDar
    You made a good choice to invest in your personal development and it is pity that there are not so many young men around who do the same. The world is changing and we need to keep up with his speed
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    • Profile picture of the author UltraOne
      I couldn't agree with you more, thanks for the wisdom.
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  • Profile picture of the author Artkantos
    Burt Goldman is 85 year old and the guy is a whirlwind, he just can't stop doing and learning new things haha I think age is more a matter of mindset and activity than just chronological time...We all have seen those people that are 40-50-60 and they look like 20-30-40 and viceversa, why is that? The chronological time is the same for everyone but our decisions are not, that's the difference...I love your reflection btw
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