Lonliness, Depression and Suicide! Ever Felt it!? (It's A LIE!!!)

20 replies
"I feel so alone".


David Foster Wallace:
" The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote 'hopelessness' or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square.


And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows.


Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant.


The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and 'Hang on!', can understand the jump.


Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling. "




Forgive me, I lied, I feel worse than that. How selfish of me.



OH yeh, and the guy who wrote that actually DID commit suicide...in 2008, and battled depression for over 20 years. NO JOKE...20 damn years!

================================================== ====================

Talking to someone about depression and asking them how to deal with it, they told me this:


"I battle depression constantly, everyday. It doesn't go away. It's a life long thing."

So basically:

"You just DEAL with it"


So, naturally, I asked them if they have ever thought of suicide, to which they responded:


"Not going to answer that"


You bet they didn't answer it either, and probably never will....I guess because what's the point, it's the lowest point a human can be at, I would gather, so maybe no need to reveal such a weakness in their world.


================================================== ====================

So what do you think? You just deal with it, and this thing never REALLY goes away? (depression, suicidal thoughts, loneliness....)


Is that life? That's stinky. I refuse to believe it, yet I think it's true, so I'm just lying to myself.






#feel #lonely
  • Profile picture of the author ryanman
    Depression is a form of prolonged sadness. When you remain sad for a long period of time and do not experience any joy in the activities which normally used to give you joy...You might be depressed.

    There is only one magical way to get rid of depression in a second...And that is-

    DO SOMETHING GOOD/HELPFUL FOR A PERSON WHO TRULY NEEDS IT.

    The down feeling will vanish in seconds.
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    • Profile picture of the author zim
      Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author Kneb Knebaih
      Originally Posted by ryanman View Post


      There is only one magical way to get rid of depression in a second...And that is-

      DO SOMETHING GOOD/HELPFUL FOR A PERSON WHO TRULY NEEDS IT.

      The down feeling will vanish in seconds.


      So true...
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Get real - if you are just "down" you'll get over it.

        If your symptions are from the disease named "depression", you may need help getting over it. It's not a mood, it's an illness.

        Clearly, many posting here don't know the difference between the two.

        Acrasail - I have no idea what you're getting at.

        You bet they didn't answer it either, and probably never will....I guess because what's the point, it's the lowest point a human can be at, I would gather, so maybe no need to reveal such a weakness in their world.
        "I would gather" means nothing. Those suffering from depression withdraw and they aren't going to tell you how they feel, or their thoughts, etc unless you are a close and trusted friend....and they might not tell you then. Clinical depression is not a weakness- it's an illness.

        When you are in a depressive episode it feels like it will never go away - but it does. Not everyone has the same symptoms or the most serious symptoms and it's not something you can explain without well-meaning, and uninformed, people telling you to "cheer up".

        So is there a point?

        kay

        EDIT: Rereading the hard-to-read text you quoted in the OP - that refers to "psychotic depression" - which is a mental illness that adds hallucinations, persecution, etc to a second illness, depression. So, really, what is the point?
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  • Profile picture of the author beccap
    Coming from a family of depressed people I can tell you some of it is normal. Sometimes if we do nothing about it , the depression takes over life. Soon it becomes normal to feel that way. The best thing to do is turn the dark into light. Open the curtains let the light in. Go outside- take a walk. Do something , anything but move. Your mind needs stimulation. If the feeling is still there pick up the phone and call for help. Talk to a friend, talk to a doctor, call a hotline. Do not give up! Hell call me -do something to help yourself !
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  • Profile picture of the author mobiusman
    It's true. Depression can be very prevalent in our society.
    I've been watching developments on this subject for some time. I notice that whenever someone seeks help it most always comes in the form of drugs or talk.

    I can understand drugs for severe cases but more talk sounds pretty lame given the scope of this feeling we call depression.

    For the last ten years I've been perfecting an online "machine" that delivers a result that has never been thought of before. It's based on a discovery that I will be revealing very soon on the web. (In about 2 weeks)

    If you'd like to know more about it you can just PM me and I'll put you on the notification list. I'll be offering time in my machine. You get a result and I get a good friend.

    It's not for sale.
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  • Profile picture of the author mattlloyd
    I do feel depressed sometimes. But every time I feel that way, I try to talk to someone and tell the person about. It helps. Also, when I'm lonely I go out and surround myself with friends. Do try it. And you need to look at the bottom of your depression: why you feel that way. Seek help.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Everyone feels depressed at times, or sad or lonely. That's part of living.

      However, that is a totally different animial from the disease named "depression". The disease isn't something you can cure or control without medication or an effective therapy. The therapy isn't "talk" - it's learning to use cognitive methods to work your way out of a depressive episode.

      As for depression as an emotional "mood" - we probably suffer it more in this country than other societies do - simply because we are so focused on ourselves and what we want, need, deserve.

      kay
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      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
      ***
      Dear April: I don't want any trouble from you.
      January was long, February was iffy, March was a freaking dumpster fire.
      So sit down, be quiet, and don't touch anything.
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  • Profile picture of the author forwardtherapy
    Depression means different things to different people. Finding someone to assist with an approach that is specific and particular to you is important. You are the expert in your own life and sometimes it helps to have someone help you uncover the skills, abilities, beliefs and values you have lost or forgotten.
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  • Profile picture of the author highrider21
    I'm pretty sure I have depression. That guys description of what it feels like to want to commit suicide is very accurate, I have felt like that I few times but never had the guts to follow through. I don't think clinical depression just goes away, you need to do something about it. See a therapist, or get some type of medication, or at least buy a self help book. Here is a really good website on how to deal with depression: Depression Help Resouces - Depression Treatment Free Online Resources
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  • Profile picture of the author acrasial
    Someone JUST told me that no one understands what I wrote in here, and said that everyone is responding to me, but doesn't understand what i said....they also said that THEY didn't get what i said either.



    That person is my mentor.


    FML.




    P.S.


    I don't want to deal with "depression". I want it to end, or I will end.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by acrasial View Post

      Someone JUST told me that no one understands what I wrote in here, and said that everyone is responding to me, but doesn't understand what i said....they also said that THEY didn't get what i said either.



      That person is my mentor.


      FML.




      P.S.


      I don't want to deal with "depression". I want it to end, or I will end.
      people who have not been at the point of making the choice to stop the pain with the ultimate price ..rather than slog through day after day of the same misery waiting for the next upset or tragedy.. may not understand what you wrote ..

      when you feel out of control ..out of place ..and on your own. it is tough to know where to turn .

      i only contemplated sucide while i was on medications ..and the only help was more medication that sucky any will to care about anything away..and caused me to put on 50 lbs in 2 years .

      i have rapid cycling bi polar disorder i tend to be a happy guy at noon time miserable sob at 3 pm ..

      i can go from needing 8 hours of sleep to only beeing able to get 4 hours of sleep .

      don't deal with or fight depression. find your natural rythym .. and make it a priority to function in the way that your body wants to function to feel the best ..when it is best for you to sleep.. what nakes you feel good after you eat it not just while you are eating it.. when you work the most productively.

      don't fight the depression get to the root of the self worth issues ..and heal the trauma that cause it .. identify when you are sliding into a state.. and don't feed the deprssive state with your negative thought patterns .

      i can only talk to you from the point of some who spen most of my life sliding into the pits of living hell.. and crawling out of it through the pain of the last 4 years .

      i do not know the trauma that caused your current state but i know very few people who get to the state without it ..
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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
      Originally Posted by acrasial View Post

      I don't want to deal with "depression". I want it to end, or I will end.
      Unless I've missed my guess, this girl is in serious trouble.

      Joe Mobley
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      Follow Me on Twitter: @daVinciJoe
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Banned
    I'm sorry to hear about your condition Acrasial. Remember, if you're going through hell, keep going.

    I'm going to suggest something that, on the surface, may seem relatively unproductive. However, I promise you this is something I've personally used to help conquer mental innless and it most definitely does work. Actually, at this moment in time, this is the most valuable information I can share with you. So please don't be fooled by its' simplicity as it's very effective in practice.

    I want you to be open to the possibility that your illness is something positive. Something good, not bad. Something that you'll eventually look back on say "I'm glad that happened, because __________________." (If you can't think of anything right now, that's OK, because I'm going to give you a hand.)

    Here are 3 of the most important things that I, personally, have experienced because of mental illness.

    1) Becoming emotionally and mentally stronger
    2) Being more appreciative and grateful
    3) Rejuvenating my relationship with God
    4) Strengthening my Family relationships
    5) Being more kind and humble

    Now it's your turn. All you have to do is write down the following quotation.

    "Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit."~~Napoleon Hill, Think & Grow Rich

    Then, as they come to you, write down any and all of your seeds of equivalent or greater benefit. Start with what's most important to you.

    (If you're having trouble coming up with them give it time. Sometimes you have to feed and nurture your seeds before they bloom ...)

    I recommend my personal development students to write down our quotation on 2 cards and keep one in their purse or wallet and the other one where they'll see it every night and every morning. Then, to let the benefits come to the surface of their consciousness, and to write them down.

    So that's something you can do right now. And, if you would ever like more advice or have any questions then feel free to contact me any time. Oh and here's something else that I think you'll definitely like.

    a place called zero
    (It's about a man in a similar situation as yourself.)
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    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author John M Kane
    Acrasial,
    For me...I KNOW there will be another day tomorrow so, I CAN handle today no matter how difficult because I will have one more chance to have a better day tomorrow.
    I might have to just get through one more hour or just 10 more minutes to relax through it all, for like the sun always will rise again, tomorrow will come again.
    Unless one experiences the Darkness they can't really know of it.
    AND they care for you so, listen up to your friends here.

    Do SOMETHING anything to stay active.
    Sitting around idle give our minds too much time to mess with us.

    For me certain foods activate/increase issues.
    Like staying clear of artificial sweeteners,garbage junk foods,etc
    Eating more naturally helps.less packaged processed crap
    Wheat is not good for me and also corn stuff like chips

    I've said it before here and will offer it up again, research Russian 'Cold Water therapy'
    It will shock you into a 'neutral' state and give you time to think clearer.
    Some claim health benefits too.
    I just know, for me, it works, and even better in winter when it is Really cold.
    It's fun too, wondering about the neighbors, thinking about "what is with that nut next door"?
    rent some comedies, search on Youtube for a giggle or two.
    here;s a link to give you an idea the Cold Water deal.
    Cold Water Therapy
    It is not painful in any way, just cold
    I've easily done in in winter of around zero degrees.
    You'll find doing this will eliminate any poor feelings at least for a while. then plan something different, find and do something you're passionate about. Maybe sing along with a tune.
    Look I am no doctor so, investigate on your own OK?Not prescribing, This has just helped me.
    It is done 2x a day and it is a good training for building determination/motivation.
    In fact I normally don't need it in summer so, with today's first snow of the season, it is time to clean out my bucket and get at it again!

    John

    You have great offers of help here,heed some and find what is best for YOU.
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    • I don't deal with depression or loneliness or suicidal tendencies, so I cannot relate to how you feel emotionally...

      ...but I CAN say that the times I have felt exceptionally down because of life issues, every time I take the focus off of me and put it onto someone else, I have no time for my feelings of pain.

      I understand that depression is an illness, so it's not some catch all that can be healed with an action or two...but with consistent action, I believe you can find some relief.

      A few of the people here wrote with so much insensitivity that I'm almost ashamed to be called a human alongside them...and for that, I am so sorry. I know how it feels to sometimes have people not understand when understanding is needed.

      I pray that you're doing better and that you've found the relief you so needed. ((hugs))
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  • Profile picture of the author Rsherwood
    Wont go into to much detail, for sure have contemplated my existence!

    I suffered with major depression up until January this year ( 2013 )

    If any of my fellow warriors are feeling like this please consider taking reishi mushroom.

    It truly cleared up all my depression with lasting effects, haven't suffered since I stopped taking it back in January. Truly remarkable stuff!
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  • Profile picture of the author Plugin Profits
    Originally Posted by acrasial View Post

    And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows.


    Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant.


    The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump.


    Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling"
    This is very true. When people are suicidal they don't actually want to die and are still afraid of death. They just feel trapped and can't figure out or foresee a way out of their pain except for that one escape hatch. They feel like they have no choice.

    The only time that I ever felt truly serious about considering suicide and thinking about plans for it, even researching the possibility of getting life insurance and making it look like an accident and researching ways to die etc, that was exactly how I felt. I didn't want to die at all, I only felt like my mind was so ruined and damaged that I had no choice. What I really wanted was just to fix it though it felt like that would be impossible and my only choices would be to live feeling that way or not live. I remember even being in the shower and crying about how I didn't want to die, though I felt I had to cause nothing could reverse things.

    It took 3 weeks to finally come out of it and start to feel hope to feel good again.

    It is a hopelessness. Not a loss of hope in circumstances or external things. A loss of hope in the ability of ever feeling good again internally.

    When you're deeply in that state you can't see anything beyond it or outside of it. It creates an illusion of permanence as you can't conceive how you could feel differently ever cause of x,y or z thing, cause of things you think you can't change. That's what causes the hopelessness feeling. And yes it is an illusion! If it lasts too long then you are in danger of buying into that lie and believing it.

    I've battled ADD and severe OCD for a very long time. Though despite the lack of hope of ever not having to battle it cause there is no cure at all and treatment even helps only slightly in managing it, what makes it livable are all the ups and downs. That there are still positive feelings and moments in between all the rest.

    If someone is in a severe dark state they can't get a break from or ever feel good, then I understand the hopelessness that would cause.


    So what do you think? You just deal with it, and this thing never REALLY goes away? (depression, suicidal thoughts, loneliness....)
    No, it can go away and has for many people. It usually doesn't go away on it's own though. You have to correct the cause of it, which can be difficult or complex.

    Not that you'll ever never feel bad or pain again, as that is life, up and down. Though you can get to a healthy state of being able to feel good and have ups and downs and accept them, instead of being constantly stuck in the down state.

    There are many different treatments people with depression can try, what works best for someone probably has to do with what is causing their particular form of depression. There are many causes and types of depression. Sometimes it is all mostly chemical or hormonal, and other times it is from trauma and experiences or habituated negative intrusive thoughts etc.

    Treatments have improved a lot and new studies are being done all the time.

    There is also rTMS therapy for treatment resistant depression that recently has had studies completed to show how it's effects are long lasting.

    http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/804736

    On a physical level, they're finding things they never knew before, like a strong link between inflammation and depression as a major cause of depression.

    Here are some good links:

    Cytokines and majo... [Prog Neuropsychopharmacol Biol Psychiatry. 2005] - PubMed - NCBI

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...s-civilization

    The link to inflamation seems strong to me. Though the causes of inflamation can be many, so it's still complex to find, and difficult to stick to such high standards of diet etc. Though if diabetics have to have that sort of discipline to control their disorder, then why not people with mental illness?

    As far as cognitively, it's always best to see a good professional to help with ones individual cognitive issues and be able to talk about it. Though a book that is very good I think is one called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. It is based on ACT (Acceptance Commiment Therapy) that is based around mindfulness.

    The Happiness Trap | Stop Struggling Start Living by Dr Russ Harris
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  • Yeah people are afraid to die they just want to commit suicide its because they want to end their problems they think that no cares for them and they think no one else can handle their own problems. But try to think of it before committing a suicide that will come into your mind you should first seek some guidance to your friends, family's, relatives or in case they are your enemies and they abandoned you try to go to your church or parishioners to seek some guidance and I know they will understand you and they will help you to solved your problems.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    well seems the op has not posted in nearly 3 years and this is a necro post
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