Achieving Work Life Balance

15 replies
Most days I feel like I live to work.

What I would like to do is work to live.

You know, less work and more living.

I really love IM but at the moment it doesn't feed my family so I have a paying job for about 50 hours a week and then I usually spend a couple of hours a night on IM.

In addition I have a fantastic wife and 2 great kids I try to spend some time with.

Some times I feel a bit like the circus clown trying to juggle too many balls.

Any ideas would be great.
#achieving #balance #life #work
  • Profile picture of the author Jeff Larose
    Don't get too addicted to IM. It will totally consume you
    Some nights I refuse to turn my computer on after I get home as it just sucks you into a vortex of email and endless reading.

    Here is an idea. Why don't you try a "family" website. Can you involve your kids? Do a project together, put it on the website, and throw up some adsense. Tell the kids that you will add the adsense revenue onto their allowance. It may only be a few dollars but it may inspire them to write stuff. Get around the kitchen table, build a model car, take pictures, post it on your site. Doesn't have to be perfect. Just use wordpress to make it nice and easy.

    Cheers,

    Jeff
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    Jeff Larose
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  • Profile picture of the author Liane Fitzpatrick
    Steve,
    You need a session with a life coach to create some balance, ditch the circus clown and drop those balls! In a couple of days I am posting in the Special Offers Forum 2 (one hour) sessions at a 75% reduction for Warriors Only! If you want some detail, email me at saglifecoaching@telus.net.

    Sincerely,
    Liane Fitzpatrick
    Certified counselor & Life Coach.
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  • Profile picture of the author LauriNiskasaari
    Originally Posted by hally0301 View Post

    Most days I feel like I live to work.

    What I would like to do is work to live.

    You know, less work and more living.

    I really love IM but at the moment it doesn't feed my family so I have a paying job for about 50 hours a week and then I usually spend a couple of hours a night on IM.

    In addition I have a fantastic wife and 2 great kids I try to spend some time with.

    Some times I feel a bit like the circus clown trying to juggle too many balls.

    Any ideas would be great.
    Okay, can you see what you`re doing here?
    Really, you point out what you don`t want and you keep focusing on that and believe or not, it will keep showing up as long as you shift your thinking.

    As you say: "most of days I feel like I live to work."

    Next you state "What I would like to do is work to live. You know, less work and more living."

    Okay, you have a really good beginning there. You clearly know what you don`t want and you ALSO know what you prefer.

    You should Create an inner vision where you see yourself yourself doing what you love and getting paid doing it...and believe and feel as if you already have it.

    You may think what`s the point...

    Basically, your thoughts create your reality and as emerson said it: "ancestor of every action is a thought"

    You act upon your thoughts and your reality is created upon your thoughts.

    What you should do is shift, in your mind, everything you don`t want into things you prefer and keep your mind focused on that.
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  • Profile picture of the author hally0301
    thanks for the great tips guys.

    it is really interesting that i already know this stuff. yet it is a matter of doing it and not just knowing it.

    how do you get across the valley from knowing to doing??

    i find this forum a really great resource for keeping me on track with a positive attitude and a healthy focus on what i should be doing.

    reading other people's posts and comments is a great way i find to maintain a healthy attitude

    thanks everyone
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  • Profile picture of the author 2d0k
    There's a saying, "All work with no Play makes a dull John Doe." Let's give ourselves time to be amused sometimes..
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  • Profile picture of the author ljhamann
    Hi Steve,

    Awesome that you asked for ideas! I admire that. I agree with what's being said, I do. I coach this stuff.

    If I may add just a bit to the philosophy here (it's broader than most practice)... Remember to meet yourself where you are at.

    You can't get over the gap, or leap it, without embracing where you are - fully. Why? Because there is too much resistance between where you are, and where you know you want to be.

    Even if we think we can make the leap in our thoughts, often times we go back to old patterns of thinking. The pendulum swings from happy happy joy, to frustration overwhelm, and even despair.

    One way, among many - is to move into softer places with those thoughts... and you'll get there. You'll still find yourself ping ponging...but over time you'll find that you won't drop as far back to where you were, originally that is. Be on purpose and consistent. That's a huge mistake people make -- not staying consistent and conscious.

    If you were gentler with yourself.. more patient I am guessing....soften what's going on in that mind of yours - in 30 days you'd be feeling better, and quite possibly have even changed what you are attracting. Heck, sometimes it's on the spot if you are willing to release and accept where you are, and love it for the journey - the expansion of you -- or your IM business for that matter.

    I know you know this too, but you would not create "more of" anything without challenge and desire. Trust that what you are about to create in your life (it's coming) is fueled by the challenging, contrasting feelings. Your challenges fuel you. It makes you passionate, and it has you setting some very cool intentions about what you want life to look like.

    Thank god for the challenges huh? And just for the record, you are far from alone. I have circus clown moment on a regular basis and most of us do.

    best wishes,
    Lori
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    • Profile picture of the author hally0301
      Originally Posted by ljhamann View Post

      Hi Steve,


      If I may add just a bit to the philosophy here (it's broader than most practice)... Remember to meet yourself where you are at.

      You can't get over the gap, or leap it, without embracing where you are - fully. Why? Because there is too much resistance between where you are, and where you know you want to be.



      best wishes,
      Lori

      Thanks Lori

      I have really found this to be true in the last little while. Even if you don't like where you are at if you at least accept it then you don't have that resistance holding you back from where you want to go to.

      I use to think that if I accepted where I was at then I might have to stay there but I have moved on so far from that place in just a few short months through accepting where I was.

      One of the big things for me was learning to be grateful for what I have, and actively finding things to be grateful for each day.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    It takes discipline to seperate work and life. I had much trouble when I began to. Even if you dont want to actually work, its so easy to check your stats and email every few minutes because there is always something happening with them. Yes, you could have made $500 in the last hour in commissions, yes you could have received an important email in the last hour that requires fast action.

    BUT, who cares, money isnt everything. Its not worth IM consuming your life for money. What is life without living right.


    What I do is dedicate certain times during the day and week where unless there is something extraordinary going on, I force myself to not do business at all. It sounds silly to set up a schedule and give yourself a curfew but if thats what it takes to live, then so be it
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    • Profile picture of the author zim
      Banned
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      • Profile picture of the author sergit
        Great thread! And very timely for me.
        I made a few very stupid financial mistakes in the last few years, went into depression and now have exactly this - swinging from happy joy and hope straight back to despair and depression. Accepting where you are now and being grateful works for some time but then everything goes back by the same old pattern.
        I guess my problem is that I still don't accept the situation on some level.
        Lori, could you explain a bit what do you mean by 'moving into softer places with thoughts'? Can you recommend me something that can help me to stay above the waterline?

        Originally Posted by ljhamann View Post

        You can't get over the gap, or leap it, without embracing where you are - fully. Why? Because there is too much resistance between where you are, and where you know you want to be.

        Even if we think we can make the leap in our thoughts, often times we go back to old patterns of thinking. The pendulum swings from happy happy joy, to frustration overwhelm, and even despair.

        One way, among many - is to move into softer places with those thoughts... and you'll get there. You'll still find yourself ping ponging...but over time you'll find that you won't drop as far back to where you were, originally that is. Be on purpose and consistent. That's a huge mistake eople make -- not staying consistent and conscious.
        This is very interesting thought. It's like a huge rubber band is pulling me back every time when I'm moving away from the place I'm in now.
        And you are right, accepting the situation feels like agreeing to stay where you are now and even giving up.

        Originally Posted by hally0301 View Post

        I have really found this to be true in the last little while. Even if you don't like where you are at if you at least accept it then you don't have that resistance holding you back from where you want to go to.

        I use to think that if I accepted where I was at then I might have to stay there but I have moved on so far from that place in just a few short months through accepting where I was.

        One of the big things for me was learning to be grateful for what I have, and actively finding things to be grateful for each day.
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  • Profile picture of the author drwhogoesthere
    I know how you feel. When I first started i was working 24/7 and it effected my health and my relationship.

    Now days I have limited the time that I work. I get up at six and work for an hour and a half. I write my articles in my lunch time and may spend an hour in the afternoon tidying up one or two things. But that is it.

    I no longer work till midnight, and I only work weekends if the wife is at work herself, and I have something I need to catch up on.

    I know this attitude isn't going to make me money rich very quickly but that comes second to other things. I have a better quality fo life, a better relationship and I am less stressed.

    I think you may need to lower your expectations of what it means to be successful. I am not say you need to aim lower on your goals or what you want to acheive. I'm saying that success doesn't need to be linked to a dollar value.

    Some people see success as waking up every morning. Others may see it as having a job, or a girlfriend, or a house. Some one with a dissability may see simply writing their own name as the greatest level of success.

    Lower you standards of what it means to be successful and you will see that you are already successful. Then you can work to be more successful.

    IM can make you a lot of money, but are you really going to let life pass you by. Beinga great father isn't about the money you make, but about how much love and time you give your kids.

    Be and feel successful now and you will find that success in other areas will come to you.

    Remember you get back what you put out.

    Put out success. and more will come back to you.
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    • Profile picture of the author hally0301
      I have decided that part of the way that I am going to approach this is to delegate some of the stuff that I don't really need to do.

      I will stick with the important stuff and the stuff that I enjoy doing and then delegate as much of the rest of it as I can.

      I have already used a couple of fellow Warriors quite successfully.

      Maybe a bit of leverage will go a long way.
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  • Profile picture of the author WhiteCanvasPro
    There is a balance in all things.
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  • Profile picture of the author jaiganeshv.com
    Once you have all your stuff automated. you can relax seeing your system work and earn for you

    until that you need to work real hard!!
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  • Profile picture of the author KathleenHobbins
    Originally Posted by hally0301 View Post

    Most days I feel like I live to work.

    What I would like to do is work to live.

    You know, less work and more living.

    I really love IM but at the moment it doesn't feed my family so I have a paying job for about 50 hours a week and then I usually spend a couple of hours a night on IM.

    In addition I have a fantastic wife and 2 great kids I try to spend some time with.

    Some times I feel a bit like the circus clown trying to juggle too many balls.

    Any ideas would be great.
    I think you should congratulate yourself. Do you work with anyone who complains about their work and wants a different life and yet does nothing about it? They will be exactly where they are for a good long time. That's not you. You are taking action to move to a different kind of life. You might still be straddling two career paths at the moment and I know that is hard. (Believe me, I know!) But you are taking action to create a change that you have chosen. In my experience, that is somewhat rare. And admirable.

    A little more practically speaking, can your family downsize at all so that you can work less than 50 hours at your job? Or can you outsource any of your IM work so that you can give yourself an evening off? Just a couple of thoughts . . .

    Best of luck to you.
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  • Profile picture of the author antiquenh
    Try to have time for everything. Engage in sports, make time for you and your family, and more importantly for yourself. Having a balance will increase your motivation at work and make you feel content over life. This might be hard to achieve and may take time, but is worth it once you become successful and happy.
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