It's as if there's a "Hyde" inside me that tries to sabotage everything I do. Always making excuses to make things easier on myself. Sometimes I feel like if I'm not constantly aware, this demon will get me and I'll end up becoming lazy again. For example... this school year I was doing great in being kept up with everything, controlling my spending, working out... then I got a cold and I told myself that just for the duration of me being sick I'd break the rules/limits/tasks that I set for myself just because I was too sick to do anything. Next thing you know it's 2 weeks later and I'm lazy again.
I also have immense trouble restraining myself from doing things. Whether it's spending too much money, going on facebook, looking at porn, etc... I've developed ways to punish myself when I do certain things that I'm trying to stop, but again I prove to be my worst enemy and I always give myself a reason why I can make an exception and next thing you know the rule was a thing of the past. And often it takes me forever to get back on track because the lazy part of me makes me do whatever I can to avoid thinking about how badly I'm fudging up the goals I set for myself... which causes me to avoid confronting the issue for weeks and prolongs my laziness.
I just feel like I'm my own worst enemy sometimes. I want to make CONSISTENT change... become disciplined enough to do the things I need to do and not slip back into laziness... and learn how to restrain myself from doing things that harm me. Punishing myself doesn't work in stopping this.
Anyone with any advice or thoughts on the matter, please post. I have no idea what to do because every self discipline program I've tried, I've somehow managed to mess up.