And you think you're losing faith?

32 replies
The other day I bumped into an old friend who I hadn't seen for about 10 years, back when I was still learning the ropes of Internet marketing (I'm still learning, and so is everyone else, but that's beside the point).

We exchanged numbers and ended up speaking on the phone for a few hours yesterday. He is unemployed and claiming state benefits (I've been there too) and he wanted to know what I had been doing with myself during all these years that we lost touch. So I explained how I managed to make a good go of this Internet stuff.

He sounded impressed at first but then said "No, I don't believe it. It just sounds like a dream. It's not possible, is it?"

OK. Being an old friend who I always respected for speaking his mind, I invited him over to my place to meet my family, and thought I could maybe help him out of his situation.

He and his wife came over, and duly impressed with our set-up, he was eger to know more about the business. So I sat him down at the computer, ran him through my business model and explained how easy it is. Time consuming, but easy.

Then I offered to find a good niche for him, build his first site, set up clickbank etc - all at no cost to him and literally spend time with him every day walking him through any minor problems.

He looked deep in thought, and said "No, I don't want to waste your time. I don't believe it can be done. It's just a dream."

Now almost irrate at his belief in himself, I started pointing at things around the home saying "Is this place a dream? The floor you're standing on was paid for by this. Our cinema room was paid for by this. My cars were paid for by this. Without the Internet, we don't have any of this.", I probably went on a bit trying to get him to change his perception of what's possible.

And still he refused to believe it.

Slightly insulted and a little hurt I dropped the conversation. But it goes to show that some people will never, no matter how much help you offer them, will ever accept that they can start "making good money online".

I know it's only his belief in himself that's preventing him from even trying, but when I mentioned that I'll be looking to take on more support staff early next year, he almost bit my hand off to be considered for a position in my help desk team :rolleyes:

Just thought I'd share this for those who feel fustrated by lack of progress in your business, at least you're attempting to make a good go of it, instead of the many who never try.. even when they are handed the keys on a plate.

You already have the most essential tool you'll ever need: Belief
#faith #losing
  • Profile picture of the author Marhelper
    I have had a number of naysayers in my path as well. Ultimately, all you can do is let the facts speak for themselves.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sara Young
    Too many people believe that making money online is impossible, and that anything related to IM is a scam.

    What a shame for them...

    But more money for us
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    • Profile picture of the author Matthew Moyer
      The person you described sounds exactly like me
      except for the gaining any benefits part.

      I tried some and didn't expect to gain much. I
      gave up though after I didn't even make a single
      penny from adsense.

      It's kind of hard to believe things are possible
      when surrounded by chaos and decay.
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  • Profile picture of the author mr2monster
    A lesson that I learned a few years ago, that has held true in about every facet of my life and business is this:

    There is NO way to help someone that doesn't WANT help...
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    • Profile picture of the author Allen Williams
      Originally Posted by mr2monster View Post

      A lesson that I learned a few years ago, that has held true in about every facet of my life and business is this:

      There is NO way to help someone that doesn't WANT help...
      Not sure there's "NO" way, but unless they decide they want it, and are willing to do something for themselves, nothing truer than the old adage ...

      Slightly updated from the 'horse to water' wording:

      "You can lead a loser to an open bank vault, but you can't make him pick up the cash"

      This is also one of the quickest ways (offering help to those who won't accept it) to draining yourself of your own drive.

      Be well,
      Allen
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    • Profile picture of the author iamchrisgreen
      Originally Posted by mr2monster View Post


      There is NO way to help someone that doesn't WANT help...
      So true!!

      I met with a guy that had a printing company. I could tell from experience that he would go under carrying on as he was...

      Then he called me back a few months later and he was in serious trouble!!

      Bit too late though then...
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  • Profile picture of the author J Bold
    Gosh, it wasn't only belief in himself, but it seems belief that what you were telling him was true. Did he think you were just lying about how you got all that money? I mean, I know he probably realized you did it, but for some reason why could he not just take you at your word and believe that really is as easy as you said?

    That must be frustrating. Sounds like it, man.
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    • Profile picture of the author JeffMitchell
      It truly blows my mind how closed minded My income online grows month by month and I am still in the debate with a ton of friends who don't believe it.

      I simply ask them.. Do you EVER here me talk about work...No.. I don't

      Why. Cause I don't go to work..

      Then I get the yeah, but look at all the time you spent learning.

      Who cares...I would rather learn a skill that allows me freedom then spend 4 years in a University to make 12 bucks and hour managing a Walgreens.

      The worse the economy gets the more people are going to realize that unless they take it upon themselves to create money, they are going to be broke as hell.

      Jeff Mitchell
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      HELP NEEDED! My Mother And Her Brother have been taking care of the mother with the help of Hospice. He just had a Massive Heart Attack while taking a short vacation. My mother had to go to Florida from Indiana to be with her brother and is not financially stable from being off work to be with grandma. Any Help Would Be Appreciated. http://www.gofundme.com/vg5kt4c

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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Powers
    Well,thank you for the sharing.I just have the same viewpoint.Sometimes,we tried and we have the chance to succeed.But if we never dare to try,we will not make it forever.So that's the problem of faith.There can be miracles when you believe.
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  • Profile picture of the author xbokcom
    Thanks for sharing that was awesome to read. Danny Johnson & Jim Rohn say something so amazing and I would like to share it with all.

    Danny Johnson: The most common fears are fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation or looking bad and fear
    of making mistakes.

    Jim Rohn: Success is something you attract by coming attractive person.
    Become attractive => personal development
    Learn to work harder on yourself as you do on your job or business.

    There is allot of people that knock me over my english but I try to improve it everyday.
    The more I improve it the better I will become.

    So see I make money online and I say it with respect not to be vain with my broken english.

    Cause where I live is allot of wealthy farmers I mean wealthy. So many people have misconception of farmers.

    I know a farmer he make millions and when you speak to him. He is so down to earth. He did not have even school what about a degree.

    But he teach me something and it works. Business is about people and care about people not just there for the sale.

    Also you find the people that are good in the skills and pay them what they are worth.

    Here is a farmer who have so many workers and houses and schools ens been build that cannot even speak good.

    But you see he develop a skill that just shock me. He knows how to work with people.

    It is sad to see people do not understand how to make money online. You still deal with people online or offline.

    You deal with people needs, desire and to create a solution for there problem. Not take money and run.

    There will always be people that do not like your product. You smile and give them a refund.

    That is life. There will always be people that are jealous or do not like you.

    Just smile and love them.

    The place I learn the most important business principles is the bible.

    Be Bless
    Renier
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  • Profile picture of the author Louise Green
    Thanks for your kind comments all.

    I've just spoken to him again about this, he believes it's possible for others to achieve the results but doesn't believe that he can.

    It's a great shame because, as we all know, anyone can do this if they put their mind to. He is happier to work for someone else, which I can kind of understand for the security.
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    • Originally Posted by Louise Evans View Post

      Thanks for your kind comments all.

      I've just spoken to him again about this, he believes it's possible for others to achieve the results but doesn't believe that he can.

      It's a great shame because, as we all know, anyone can do this if they put their mind to. He is happier to work for someone else, which I can kind of understand for the security.
      I hope your friend can visit WF and see this wonderful thread that you have started.
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  • Profile picture of the author igorb
    Great story, Louise.
    Yes, sometimes people simply do not believe in themselves.
    And faith is certainly required for any significant success.
    As you said, it takes time and we`re learning the stuff all the way, but without initial positive attitude and self-confidence it is hard to start. Even if someone is generously guiding you (as you offered him help). I would try to explain him how important is to have correct mindset and how open-minded learning could just benefit him in long term. Be persistent and show him the path. He`ll appreciate it.
    Wish you all the luck
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  • Profile picture of the author Louise Green
    I'm sure he will come around once he starts working for me, I bet/hope he sees what I'm doing and decides he can easily do it for himself when he sees it in action from day to day.
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    • Profile picture of the author Aronya
      Originally Posted by Louise Evans View Post

      I'm sure he will come around once he starts working for me, I bet/hope he sees what I'm doing and decides he can easily do it for himself when he sees it in action from day to day.
      I'm betting he doesn't, based on your description of his reactions to your proof. But, I wonder if you might be able to make some headway with him if you talked to him about making a much smaller amount; say $25/day. Tell him he has to do the work, but you'll be there to guide him. Could be he just feels overwhelmed by the prospect of large-scale success, but might be willing to take on a smaller goal.
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  • Profile picture of the author erwindegrave
    Everything could be made possible if we believe..if we started doubting, there's not chance for us to succeed in any way :-)
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    Erwin de Grave
    Success Coach & Internet Marketer
    www.MassiveAffiliateIncome.com
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  • Profile picture of the author christiantt
    • Meditate. Practise clearing your mind regularly.
    • Specify the fear. Write down exactly what you are afraid of.
    • Identify the voice. Is it yours or your mother's or the TV's?
    • Eliminate procrastination. Achieving one small goal will help erase self-doubt.
    • Appreciate your uniqueness. Find your special talent or skill.
    • Surrender. Know when to let go.
    • Slow down. Enjoy each moment and savour small pleasures.
    • Stand up. Express your passion through action.
    • Simplify. Learn to say no and clear clutter from your life.
    • Embrace nature. The natural world relaxes us and puts things into perspective.
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  • Profile picture of the author Louise Green
    Well today I kind of got to the root of the problem.

    We had a meeting this afternoon where he told me that he is more comfortable working for someone else, the idea of being self-employed scares him. I can understand that but I'm not giving up on him. I'll give him a job for the moment so he feels secure and train him as a manager so he can run a second office in time, and if/when he decides to go it alone he will have all the experience and confidence he needs.
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  • Profile picture of the author successfulmom
    Those that think it can't be done, are generally interupted by those doing it.

    It's a shame, being a negative person will get you no where.....positve people can go anywhere they want!

    You can be, do, have whatever you desire if you have the right mindset.
    Unfortunate for your friend.
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    Live, Laugh & Love!
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  • Profile picture of the author Aronya
    The mindset of people who think that there's real security in a job is fascinating to me. They know that the job can go away at any time, without warning, and all they're entitled to is 2 weeks' pay, but they prefer to bury their heads in the sand about that issue.

    At the same time, if you talk to them about starting a business of their own, they are immediately intimidated and overwhelmed by the very idea. I have a couple of woman friends who work in a 3-person office. To keep the explanation simple, let's just say that they process applications. The guy they work for is steadily losing money, and at some point is probably going to have to start firing. I have suggested to them that they should offer the same services to other people in the same industry. They could work at home, pick & choose who they want to do work for, and charge whatever they feel is right. They immediately start thinking that they'll have to quit their regular jobs & invest lots of money to get started. Even after reeling them back in, and explaining that they don't have to do either one, they're still scared. One even says she doesn't want to look for another job because the employer is supposed to be contributing to her IRA - but hasn't had the money to do so for almost a year. Go figure.
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  • Profile picture of the author Menny
    There are so much people who deny it because there is just too much online promising 10.000 a day and 1000 a day. It just doesn`t work overnight and also you have to look for your customers everyday and I guess also you have to work with affiliates somehow. I would say it smells like Pyramid but you might tell me something different. Well, I went through that and endet up in tears. I had to invest before I was payed and online schemes, where you first have to pay for something usually give you some copied stuff on how you get rich and then you have to do HARD WORK. Dont forget that! Its tough because thousands are selling the SAME product next to you. How are you selling and find even new people who are interested?
    Best regards and work for your money the way you have a chance and - take it easy
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    • Profile picture of the author Louise Green
      Originally Posted by Menny View Post

      I would say it smells like Pyramid but you might tell me something different. Well, I went through that and endet up in tears.
      I'm sorry to hear that you've been caught by pyramid scams.

      I don't see the connection to IM, well, just in my own experience.

      Create a product that's in demand, sell it at a price they can't refuse and provide top notch after-sales customer support. That's how I view online retail.

      Most people probably get better quality and service from online sellers than traditional offline stores, I have and try to pay it forward through my own business.

      But you're right about work. Everyone needs to work for their income, and the idea of building and running a business scares people (as I found out with my friend), but just because it's easy work, doesn't mean that it isn't work, even if it is point & click easy.
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  • Profile picture of the author TelegramSam
    There are certain things you have to do before he will or anyone will accept help.

    Many people think help isn't possible, or because they have been ripped off in the past or even betrayed.

    So "help" gets a bad name.

    Before you can help anyone, they have to realise for themselves that help is possible.

    Until they realise it for themselves then it isn't.

    So ask him, has he ever been offered help and it has failed.

    Or ask him if he thinks help is possible.

    Ask him how he feels about helping others.

    Ask him how he felt about some help he had received in the past.

    Ask him if he had ever been made guilty or felt guilty about asking for help.

    Then ask him if he wants your help.

    etc... etc...

    You get the idea.

    If he still doesn't want help, then give him your card/number and get him to call you when he actually wants or needs it.

    If you try to force somone to give or receive help, when they aren't ready, then you are asking for trouble and you will only mess yourself up!

    Let him know your offer of help is genuine and that you are there if he wants or need it.

    Whether he takes it one day is up to him.

    BUT don't beat yourself up about it.

    You can offer help to a dying alcoholic and they will spit in your face unless they themselves realise they need it, or that it may actually help them.

    Until then you are wasting your time and one of the saddest things in life is knowing you can help a friend or loved one, and they refuse it until it is too late.

    That is part of life and sometimes it can be painful.

    So help those that are also willing to help themselves.

    End of seminar

    Sam
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  • Profile picture of the author sandra.IMqueen
    I guess your friend has had some knocks and so his belief is at an all time low. He's lucky to have a friend in you and in time I am sure he will find his belief again.

    Until then keep working at your own success.
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  • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
    Outstanding read, you're exactly right when it comes to the point of him not believing in himself. It is very possible to make money online and many of us have proven it through our own abilities. However without a successful mind, there is no success.

    Thanks a lot for this post, I really do believe that your friend will one day come around to the fact that it's possible. If I were him I would have taken up the job offer immediately xD
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    My name is Justin Lewis. My digital marketing company has been in business for over 10 years with multiple six-figure years. We do provide a premium web design service.

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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    You can accomplish whatever you so choose in life. There are no special or innate prerequisites in order to become successful and happy while you live the life of your dreams. Unfortunately, many people would rather make excuses than even attempt.

    Even if one resents his situation, it's amazing how (unconsciously) comfortable he is. Changing the situation requires effort, which requires breaking out of that comfort zone.

    People will also say, they don't know how. It's okay if you don't know how right now, but you learn. Everything is learned. You weren't born knowing how to talk, to walk, to read or anything else. It may be easy, or it may be challenging, but either way it requires some form of effort.

    Success IS 90% mindset, then technique is about 10%. Hopefully one day your friend will work through that mindset so he too can live the life he wants, but it's up to him.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dianes.Bistro
    WOW Louise that was a great story, thanks for sharing.

    Sadly it is so true about people believing in themselves
    and having the right mindset.
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    "Seize the opportunity as if it were your last"

    Diane~
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    • Profile picture of the author Hanz
      Louise, thanks a lot for the story. Although I do think there are MANY others who would love to have your assistance in finding a niche, building a site, setting up Clickbank, etc. And a lot of them are right here in this thread alone I bet.
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  • Profile picture of the author f4ll3rs
    Thank you so much for sharing this. Very inspiring.
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  • Profile picture of the author stevefall
    Originally Posted by Louise Evans View Post

    The other day I bumped into an old friend who I hadn't seen for about 10 years, back when I was still learning the ropes of Internet marketing (I'm still learning, and so is everyone else, but that's beside the point).

    We exchanged numbers and ended up speaking on the phone for a few hours yesterday. He is unemployed and claiming state benefits (I've been there too) and he wanted to know what I had been doing with myself during all these years that we lost touch. So I explained how I managed to make a good go of this Internet stuff.

    He sounded impressed at first but then said "No, I don't believe it. It just sounds like a dream. It's not possible, is it?"

    OK. Being an old friend who I always respected for speaking his mind, I invited him over to my place to meet my family, and thought I could maybe help him out of his situation.

    He and his wife came over, and duly impressed with our set-up, he was eger to know more about the business. So I sat him down at the computer, ran him through my business model and explained how easy it is. Time consuming, but easy.

    Then I offered to find a good niche for him, build his first site, set up clickbank etc - all at no cost to him and literally spend time with him every day walking him through any minor problems.

    He looked deep in thought, and said "No, I don't want to waste your time. I don't believe it can be done. It's just a dream."

    Now almost irrate at his belief in himself, I started pointing at things around the home saying "Is this place a dream? The floor you're standing on was paid for by this. Our cinema room was paid for by this. My cars were paid for by this. Without the Internet, we don't have any of this.", I probably went on a bit trying to get him to change his perception of what's possible.

    And still he refused to believe it.

    Slightly insulted and a little hurt I dropped the conversation. But it goes to show that some people will never, no matter how much help you offer them, will ever accept that they can start "making good money online".

    I know it's only his belief in himself that's preventing him from even trying, but when I mentioned that I'll be looking to take on more support staff early next year, he almost bit my hand off to be considered for a position in my help desk team :rolleyes:

    Just thought I'd share this for those who feel fustrated by lack of progress in your business, at least you're attempting to make a good go of it, instead of the many who never try.. even when they are handed the keys on a plate.

    You already have the most essential tool you'll ever need: Belief
    This remind me of have an argument with someone that has no idea what copy is. They are convinced that people will not read anything and are 100% sure that a huge button saying "Buy Me" will work better. Some people just don't understand certain things and you just have move on!
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