What NOT to Do When You're Not Succeeding

22 replies
You can find a lot of advice in this forum about what TO do when things aren't going your way in IM, but this is about what NOT to do...

Don't Beat Yourself Up
Struggles and slumps happen to everyone. Avoid negative self-talk. Don't belittle what you've done or magnify what you haven't done, or in any way think of yourself negatively because you aren't producing. There is no reason to cast blame on yourself and torture your soul, that only makes matters worse.

Don't Give Up Your Dream
Step back for a while if you must, but don't abandon your hopes and dreams. If things aren't working right now, remember, conditions are always temporary. Lack of success is not a reflection on your character and it doesn't make you a failure. It only means you need to make some kind of adjustment, be it learning more, or doing more, or adapting or correcting your plan.

Don't Create Artificial Pressure
Demanding of yourself that you must drive XX number of visitors to your site or must earn XX amount of dollars by a certain date are poorly chosen goals because you have no control over the behavior of others. Instead, set goals that you do have control over, such as writing five articles a day, or writing at least 10 pages of your new ebook, or creating 20 backlinks.

Don't Demand Perfection from Pain
Suppose you're writing an ebook. When things aren't going as hoped for, the temptation is to want to make this problem child so utterly brilliant that it makes all the trouble vanish in the face of perfection. It's never going to be perfect, anything you write can always be better. Make it good and get it on the market.

Some of the kindest people you'll ever meet are surprisingly self-critical. If that's you, remember the Golden Rule, and reverse it. Do unto yourself as you do unto others. Serious. Life is short, be kind to yourself. That's not an excuse to be a slacker, but if you're trying and not yet succeeding, give yourself credit for trying rather than getting down on yourself.

Attitude makes a world of difference, to the world, and to yourself.
#succeeding
  • Profile picture of the author George Katsoudas
    Good info.

    Here are a couple more:

    Don't whine. Nobody likes a whiner. By whining of course, you get the secondary payoff of "having a story" so you can get "sympathy." Ask for advice and feedback if you have to - but don't whine.

    Don't panic. In nature, about one out of ten hunts results in a kill. Not succeeding right away is ok. The period where you will be "failing" is the one during which you will grow the most. Just ask yourself "why didn't this cut the mustard"? What can I improve?
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  • Profile picture of the author shaunjamie2005
    Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post


    Don't Give Up Your Dream
    Step back for a while if you must, but don't abandon your hopes and dreams. If things aren't working right now, remember, conditions are always temporary. Lack of success is not a reflection on your character and it doesn't make you a failure. It only means you need to make some kind of adjustment, be it learning more, or doing more, or adapting or correcting your plan.
    This is what I did in the beginning. Why? Because my fiance and his friends made me feel like Internet Marketing was all a scam. Luckily I came to my senses and have been doing pretty well for myself the past year. (Unfortunately not well enough to quit the day job, but I will get to that)
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by shaunjamie2005 View Post

      This is what I did in the beginning. Why? Because my fiance and his friends made me feel like Internet Marketing was all a scam. Luckily I came to my senses and have been doing pretty well for myself the past year. (Unfortunately not well enough to quit the day job, but I will get to that)
      Good for you for coming to your senses. We do have to be careful who we listen to, even well meaning loved ones cannot enlighten us if they've never seen the light.
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      • Don't Create Artificial Pressure is the one that hit me the most.

        By the way, I sent you a PM Dennis.

        Thanks, for this post.
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  • Profile picture of the author alfred_1986
    Excellent Thread. When the person is not succeeding means, there are two things we can derive from it. One thing is the person may a try new thing which no one has attempted or the person can improve his skills to be successful.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sparhawke
    Good post
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    “Thinking is easy, Acting is difficult
    And to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world ~ Goethe”
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  • Profile picture of the author kline2010
    I always tell that to myself. I am determined to succeed and I enjoy what I do.
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  • Profile picture of the author yst
    >• Don't Create Artificial Pressure
    Demanding of yourself that you must drive XX number of visitors to your site or must earn XX amount of dollars by a certain date are poorly chosen goals because you have no control over the behavior of others. Instead, set goals that you do have control over, such as writing five articles a day, or writing at least 10 pages of your new ebook, or creating 20 backlinks.<

    I like this one most. Thanks for it.

    I'd also like to add, declare small victories. Got one visitor whom stayed? Great, at least one new guy is interested.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tonio Smith
    I must say you do have the ability to outline some great points that many I believe should focus upon and determine themselves.

    But as I suspect you are only looking for self reflection in hopes to find yourself. So I must say good luck on your journey and there's nothing wrong with sharing.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by Tonio Smith View Post


      But as I suspect you are only looking for self reflection in hopes to find yourself. So I must say good luck on your journey and there's nothing wrong with sharing.
      Sorry Tonio, but you're way off the mark. For one thing, I don't need to find myself, I'm 54 years old and learned decades ago that there is no "self" to find, we become who we become by virtue of the choices we make. It's that simple.

      My post was in response to the lamentations I saw in the main forum from people who are struggling to earn money. I've been self-employed and earning my living online since 1999, so if you meant I was trying to find myself in IM you missed your guess there too.

      Using your psychological theory of reverse engineering, perhaps it is you who is trying to "find himself" because that is what you incorrectly read into my post.

      Or, maybe you just outsmarted yourself.

      I do, however, accept your well-wishes for my journey. I bid all an enlightening and enjoyable journey.
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  • Profile picture of the author petelta
    Nice post Dennis. It's extremely important not to be hard on yourself when things are down. Every single one of us have been through the rough patches of starting and growing a business.

    You just have to remember it's part of the road.

    Travis
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    • Profile picture of the author DavidTrudrung
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      • Profile picture of the author JoshuaG
        Thanks for the post.
        Really made my day.
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  • Profile picture of the author hotftuna
    Thanks Dennis.

    My situation may be like some, but different than most.

    I started out ten years ago and started making fairly big bucks from the start. Most of my income is from organic white-hat SEO in a competitive niche.

    The last year has been tough. I am producing a fraction of the results that I was a few years ago. I have not had a regular job in 10 years and my family depends on my business.

    My directory business is still going strong and I am trying to be thankful for what I still have while I embrace all of the opportunities in front of me.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      @ hotftuna - It might be time to start adding some new tools to your bag of tricks. Web design used to be all I wrote about, but the search volume for that has been trending downward for years. So I started adding other things that were complementary to my portfolio of products.

      For example, I wrote an ebook about finding and using public domain resources for content and products, another with over 100 writing tips for struggling writers, another about SEO, another about link building, and so on. What might you be able to add that would bring in more income that relates to what you're already doing?

      Alternatively, perhaps you can come up with new ways to find customers. What can you do differently to locate new customers? Could you start cold-calling on local businesses? How about sending out postcards? How about placing ads on bulletin boards? Do you have a small business association in your area? Attending meetings and getting to know people could bring new business. Try to think in ways you haven't thought before. For example, if Donald Trump was in your business, try to imagine how he would go about finding new customers. Use any name you like for this exercise, Bill Gates, your dad, or even Popeye the Sailor...trying to think like any other entity could result in a new idea. You can use this exercise to come up with new product ideas too.

      I just checked the search trends for "search engine optimization" (<- click to see for yourself) and it looks like there's about half the volume of searches for that search term as there was five years ago. That could explain, at least in part, why sales are down for you. Adapt! Get creative! You KNOW you rock, so rock on!

      Note: I'm not sure if you meant you were making sales in ___ niche simply through SEO, or if you meant you were making sales of your SEO services. I assumed the latter when I wrote the above, but looking over your post again I'm not so sure. If it's the former, check the search trends, maybe the niche just isn't getting as many searches. Trying to find new products and new ways to find customers applies regardless of which you meant.

      @ everyone else - you are certainly welcome for the post, I'm glad you found it to your liking.
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  • Profile picture of the author Maddi
    100% agreed. These actually are the principals I've lived my life on. I've actually behaved in this fashion way before I even read any book or before someone told me stuff like that. I just learned things myself...

    First hand experiences, Life itself and Time are the best teachers one can ever have.

    Bad things happening when you are little and no one to guide you can either Make you or Break You. I guess I came out fine

    Thanks for a great post and I'm sure fellow warriors can relate to it and can learn from it.
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    • Profile picture of the author c0rv3tt3
      Persistence is the key to anything in life. No matter how hard or tough your online work is, just be persistent and it will work out for you eventually.
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      • Profile picture of the author tylerdrun
        Originally Posted by George Katsoudas View Post

        Good info.

        Here are a couple more:

        Don't whine. Nobody likes a whiner. By whining of course, you get the secondary payoff of "having a story" so you can get "sympathy." Ask for advice and feedback if you have to - but don't whine.
        - We think in a similar manner..

        Don't panic. In nature, about one out of ten hunts results in a kill. Not succeeding right away is ok. The period where you will be "failing" is the one during which you will grow the most. Just ask yourself "why didn't this cut the mustard"? What can I improve?
        George, I guess we share the same thoughts...

        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        You can find a lot of advice in this forum about what TO do when things aren't going your way in IM, but this is about what NOT to do...

        Don't Beat Yourself Up
        Struggles and slumps happen to everyone. Avoid negative self-talk. Don't belittle what you've done or magnify what you haven't done, or in any way think of yourself negatively because you aren't producing. There is no reason to cast blame on yourself and torture your soul, that only makes matters worse.

        Don't Give Up Your Dream
        Step back for a while if you must, but don't abandon your hopes and dreams. If things aren't working right now, remember, conditions are always temporary. Lack of success is not a reflection on your character and it doesn't make you a failure. It only means you need to make some kind of adjustment, be it learning more, or doing more, or adapting or correcting your plan.

        Don't Create Artificial Pressure
        Demanding of yourself that you must drive XX number of visitors to your site or must earn XX amount of dollars by a certain date are poorly chosen goals because you have no control over the behavior of others. Instead, set goals that you do have control over, such as writing five articles a day, or writing at least 10 pages of your new ebook, or creating 20 backlinks.

        Don't Demand Perfection from Pain
        Suppose you're writing an ebook. When things aren't going as hoped for, the temptation is to want to make this problem child so utterly brilliant that it makes all the trouble vanish in the face of perfection. It's never going to be perfect, anything you write can always be better. Make it good and get it on the market.

        Some of the kindest people you'll ever meet are surprisingly self-critical. If that's you, remember the Golden Rule, and reverse it. Do unto yourself as you do unto others. Serious. Life is short, be kind to yourself. That's not an excuse to be a slacker, but if you're trying and not yet succeeding, give yourself credit for trying rather than getting down on yourself.

        Attitude makes a world of difference, to the world, and to yourself.
        Thanks a million mate, u cheered me up. I didn't make a sale for the last 15days despite of writing 5 articles every day promoting a product that was profitable. This did make me feel better. Previously, I used to beat myself up because I wasn't able to make this work. I thought that something was personally wrong with me. And then my best friend told me that I'm just a 16yr old kid tryin to manage college and the im. So not to beat myself.

        And then I came across Deep Inner Game by David DeAngelo. The material taught solved my problems automatically. I didn't even work on 'em except watch the videos and take notes. ..

        Originally Posted by c0rv3tt3 View Post

        Persistence is the key to anything in life. No matter how hard or tough your online work is, just be persistent and it will work out for you eventually.
        Persistence and a burning desire is the key for the transmutation of your thoughts to gold.
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  • Profile picture of the author HighLayer
    Hah, good post.
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  • Profile picture of the author GlengarryLeads
    Great post. I'll add to this:

    Don't Assume Everyone Else Is Lying
    Even if you aren't getting results, other people surely are. Some of these people may have stuck it out for years in bad circumstances, or they may just have gotten lucky.

    There is success to be had out there, and even though some internet marketers may exaggerate their claims, there really are many ways to be successful online. Be persistent, be humble, talk to the people who are making it work, and eventually you will get there!

    Don't Try To Do Too Much At Once
    Stick with one solid idea at a time and make it work! Many people who fail to make money online never give their business a chance to take off. Slow and steady wins the race. Pick out one venture where the initial numbers make sense, and then focus your mind like a laser beam. Be committed to making one thing work, and only then expand to other possibilities.
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  • Profile picture of the author wdog
    Here's one:

    Don't Pretend the Past = the Future.
    the future has not happened yet. There is nothing in the future. The future is blank. I can say this over and over but as a human being we are organized to ignore this and to somehow act as if there are some things about the future that are real and already there. However, in REALITY the future does not exist and there is only now, and now and now.

    The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
    Albert Einstein
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by wdog View Post

      Here's one:

      Don't Pretend the Past = the Future.
      the future has not happened yet. There is nothing in the future. The future is blank.
      That's something I've written many times in my newsletter - the past doesn't equal the future. It can influence it, especially our habits and the predominant roles we play, but we can also choose otherwise. Awareness is the key to creating a different future rather than recreating the past.

      Good addition wdog, and everyone that's added to the thread. Anyone else have additional points to add? Jump right in.
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