What Does It Mean To Be A Man

tryinhere

14 years ago

Are you a boy about to drop his marbles ?

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Jonathan 2.0 Banned 14 years ago

Originally Posted by tryinhere

Are you a boy about to drop his marbles ?

No.

(By the way, if you can, please keep it sensible.)
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miccoats 14 years ago

RESPONSIBLE PERSON, FOR HIS ACTIONS, TO SUPPORT HIS FAMILY HIS BROTHER HIS FRIEND TO BE DEPENDABLE TO BE THE ROCK
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AwesomePossum

14 years ago

A MAN IS SOMEONE WITH RAGING HORMONES AND THAT'S INCREDIBLY OVER PROTECTIVE

; ) MACHO ME!!

No...maybe kinda....hhmmm...na nm. I don't think that's being manly....nope.

Ok, I think asking why we're here and what our purpose is a bigger question so this is kind of branched up for sexes...

I think men play roles traditionally of looking for the well being of others as well as their children...I mean women can easily develop into leaders but men mostly take this role

But women are the same...I mean it's such an interesting question and I've been pondering this FOR MYSELF FOR A WHILE...

I mean this is completely personal and I still have a little insecurities around these areas but to me being a man for the longest time just played a huge part of approval and attracting beautiful girls....cuz I mean, guys bang girls...it's a way of life

As I started diving in I realized that the only reason I thought this was well...cuz I didn't have either!! So I built up this image that

I mean honestly this answer's kind of lame but it's the only one I can give confidently...

Powerful and respected Men:

1. Understand territory and protect there's to a certain extent. They like for others to feel comfortable in their homes but at the same time dislike it when people leave things inside of their house...they allow others to use their things as long as they are treated respectfully....basically they draw lines between allowing others to feel comfortable and free while protecting and demanding certain behavior under their territory and in their presence.

2. Presence and aura...basically projected auras without forcing your aura out to others.

3. Standards....interesting. Don't be a critique though..sloppy and incredibly immature nature shouldn't be accepted..those are the guidelines I follow/

4. Caring for others...to a certain extent...putting yourself first but drawing the line incredibly well makes for a hot dude.

5. Unhesitant...knowing what you want and having direction is pretty orgasmic...

6. Interestingly enough...not caring about approval is huge.

I'VE NOTICED THE MORE DEVELOPED A LEADER IS, THE MORE ATTRACTED AND LIKED THEY BECOME...by both men and women...

I think there's a hint in there somewhere ; )

Honestly, that's all I've got...I've just noticed that people are naturally more attractive to leaders....understanding what naturally attracts others and what doesn't is really important in defining...hmm...how I live my life basically..

Most fundamentally being a man is creating powerful babies and being able to protect them while the mother takes care of them...I mean that's what makes sense to me at least....it's not the way I choose to live my life but it really makes sense...I think all guys have a huge drive to protect and take care of their families.

Aaryn

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scattermouse

14 years ago

Rudyard Kipling said it better than I ever could, so I'll just post his poem in its entirety:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man my son!

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Jonathan 2.0 Banned 14 years ago

Originally Posted by Ewan Cormack

Rudyard Kipling said it better than I ever could ...

Brilliant poem. I've heard that before, however, this time I've made a copy and I'm going to practice it.

Thanks again, Ewan.
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SilentX

14 years ago

What's it mean to be a man in what context? As a father? As a brother? A son? A lover? A soldier? In a fight? With friends? That question is way WAY to open ended to even begin answering. Plus, why does it matter? Shouldn't you define that answer for yourself? Why would you want someone else to tell you how to be or become a man?

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Jonathan 2.0

Banned 14 years ago

Originally Posted by SilentX

What's it mean to be a man in what context? As a father? As a brother? A son? A lover? A soldier? In a fight? With friends? That question is way WAY to open ended to even begin answering. Plus, why does it matter? Shouldn't you define that answer for yourself? Why would you want someone else to tell you how to be or become a man?

Generally speaking.

As in, what would you say are the most important aspects of being a man?

Thanks Aaryn and Ewan. Keep them coming.

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Jonathan 2.0 Banned 14 years ago

Presence and aura.
Standards.
Caring for others.
Unhesitant.
Not caring about approval.
(Being a leader.)

Good list by Aaryn.

I have another list by a personal development guru (very similar if not the same) that I think everyone will like- consider it a gift for contributing and for those interested in the "answers."

Untill then, let's keep discussing.
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Tonio Smith

14 years ago

you know the funny thing about this post is that your question was one of my assignments from my child development class last week.

ClinTonio

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Jonathan 2.0 Banned 14 years ago

OK, here's the list I promised from Steve Pavlina
("Personal Development For Smart People"). The explanations are in the link below.

Enjoy

Make real decisions
Put your relationships second
Be willing to fail
Be confident
Express love actively
Re-channel sex energy
Face your fears
Honour the masculinity of other men
Accept responsibility for your relationships
Die well

(Here's the explanations ...)
www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/05/how-to-be-a-man/
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- André Silverspoon 14 years ago
  
  Being a man involve humility and in complete control of oneself, he does not rely on his own understanding and imitate the greatest man who ever lived.
  
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  Leisfein 14 years ago
  
  I've only ordered this book last week so haven't read it yet but liked the reviews of it and found it for a euro on ebay + p&p. Anyway its called Iron John and here's a passage....
  
  "Michael Meade reminds us of the old Celtic motto: 'Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.'...The initiator offers the sword only after the young man's heart has been touched by the lover's privacy and the lover's dance.
  
  ...The warriors inside American men have become weak in recent years, and their weakness contributes to a lack of boundaries, a condition which earlier in this book we spoke of as naivete. A grown man six feet tall will allow another person to cross his boundaries, enter his psychic house, verbally abuse him, carry away his treasures, and slam the door behind; the invaded man will stand there with an ingratiating, confused smile on his face.
  
  When a boy grows up in a "dysfunctional" family (perhaps there is no other kind of family), his interior warriors will be killed off early. Warriors, mythologically, lift their swords to defend the king. The King in a child stands for and stands up for the child's mood. But when we are children, our mood gets easily overrun and swept over in the messed-up family by the more powerful, more dominant, more terrifying mood of the parent. We can say that when the warriors inside cannot protect our mood from being disintegrated, or defend our body from invasion, the warriors collapse, go into a trance, or die.
  
  The Inner warriors I speak of do not cross the boundary aggressively; they exist to defend the boundary.
  
  ...Robert Moore, the psychologist and theologian, has thought goently and intensely about the warrior, and we'll sum up a few of his ideas. He emphasizes that for men the warrior is "hard-wired." It is not software. He may say to men: "You have plenty of warrior in you-don't worry about it-more than you'll need. The question is whether you will honor it: whether you will have it consciously or unconsciouly."
  
  Moore emphasizes that the quality of a true warrior is that he is in service to a purpose greater than himself; that is, to a transcendent cause. Mythologically, he is in service to a True King. If the King he serves is corrupt...or if there is no King at all, and he is serving greed, or power, then he is not longer a warrior, but a soldier.
  
  ...Contemporary war, with its mechanical and heartless destruction, has made the heat of aggression seem disgraceful....'Women hate war,' it has often been said, 'but love the warrior.' That is no longer true. Most women in the West see no reason to distinguish the warrior from the soldier or the soldier from the murderer.
  
  ..The fading of the warrior contributes to the collapse of civilized society. A man who cannot defend his own space cannot defend women and children."
  
  ww.yangtown.com/
  
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  Honor is sacred.
  What is left when honor is lost? Syrus
  ... Honour ... remains awake in us like a last lamp in a temple that has been laid to waste.
  
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LiamP

14 years ago

A man provides guidance and protection. Whether that be financial, emotional or physical.

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A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Robert A. Heinlein

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thenextcameron

14 years ago

Know how to treat woman well. Responsible in what he does.

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DrewClement

14 years ago

Liam hit the nail on the head. However, much of the same can apply to women as well, and there is less and less need everyday to define the roles between women and men.

We are all responsbile for giving it everything we have, supporting the ones we love, and sticking to our ideals, passions, and morals. Even though that is far easier said than done.

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stephan231

13 years ago

taking responsibilities in all life matters and be able to work hard to support himself and his family are the best traits of true man.

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JustinDupre 13 years ago

Originally Posted by stephan231

taking responsibilities in all life matters and be able to work hard to support himself and his family are the best traits of true man.

I agree with this 100%
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3afash

13 years ago

The answer you'll find here is the answer that society programmed into our heads. If you want to be a real man go on your own quest and find your own journey to being a man. You won't find an answer on an online forum. And keep in my mind that a man is self-reliant before anything. So just because it's socially or culturally agreed on that a man has to have certain characteristics to be a man doesn't mean you have to constrict yourself to that set of characteristics. It's about doing not being. Do whatever you want without caring about whether you're being a man or not, as long as it's aligned with your values and you're intuition. It's a paradoxical thing to explain but as you read and learn about it (if you're really serious about actually knowing thyself and not just building review pages and writing ezine articles

) you'll get closer and closer to the truth and to your deepest purpose. And the truth never stays the same. Meaning you have to keep evolving and digging deeper. It never ends.

I recommend you watch On Being A Man by David DeAngelo, Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and Iron John by Robert Bly. Three intensely and profoundly powerful programs/books that will change your life.

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Jonathan 2.0

Banned 13 years ago

Originally Posted by 3afash

I recommend you watch On Being A Man by David DeAngelo, Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and Iron John by Robert Bly. Three intensely and profoundly powerful programs/books that will change your life.

Thank you, 3afash. I'll check them out.

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AjaTrinidad

13 years ago

There is no definition as to what a man is, aside from the physical characteristics that differentiate man from woman. I think society puts too much emphasis on "how to be a man" or "how to be a woman." How can you teach someone to be what they already are? How come no one ever asks "what does it mean to be a person?" :-)

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jewin

13 years ago

Well said AjaTrinidad.

Originally Posted by AjaTrinidad

There is no definition as to what a man is, aside from the physical characteristics that differentiate man from woman. I think society puts too much emphasis on "how to be a man" or "how to be a woman." How can you teach someone to be what they already are? How come no one ever asks "what does it mean to be a person?" :-)

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Caper224

13 years ago

Well, from a physicological standpoint a man is a male of 18 years or older. Every other definition you attach is just societal psycho-babble, inherited ideals, and warped personifications or in otherwords opinions.

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ZaneAbden

13 years ago

thats funny thread ....in New Zealand it means you drink Tui Beer I dont know about the other country LOL

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ucajack

13 years ago

I do not understand this thinking that you have to be a man to do this. I think one should try to be as normal, as much at peace with himself and others.

I think this 'man' concept is the result of the human tendency to idealize every thing. but in the real world ideals do not exist. just accept the way you are and you are man enough.

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jjeeezy

13 years ago

This question is more like What does it mean to be a good person.

And really there are no specific qualifications.

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BruceGrahamMarketingSytms

13 years ago

If all you're after are opinions, you'll never get a concensus.
Historically, men were hunter/gatherers. The men went out to hunt food for the tribe/community. This has never really changed. Men are still expected to "bring home the bacon". Fine, one truism. Personally, I have no issues with women getting equal pay for equal work. Sounds like a hell-uva-good idea. Let her bring home some bacon and I don't have to carry so much.
Men were also the warriors/protectors of the family, clan, tribe, etc. Today this idea is still part of our social make-up. The majority of soldiers are male. The majority of law enforcement officers are male. The majority of fire-fighters are male. These are the kinds of socio-economic positions all little boys are urged to respect and admire. These are protective rolls that are traditionally filled by men. Now, I have to say at this point that I do NOT disapprove of women in these occupations. If they can pass the same vetting processes as their male counterparts, They should pursue such careers with whole-heartedness.
I think this all really boils down to character. Is this guy someone I can trust, or am I gonna have to "off" him for being a total scumbag? The latter is an extreme P.O.V., but men sometimes think in extremes.
As a single father, I have dicovered an inate desire to protect my son. He's almost 18 now, but I still try to help him foreshadow his future. Forethought is seldom practiced by teenaged boys. I know; I was a teenaged boy once.
Back to character though. I'm talking about positive traits though. I always thought the 10 Commandments where a good place to find the ideals of honour and nobility. Many "guys" think such ideas are archaic and foolish. These are the kinds of guys who defer all responsability. You see, in order to be a real man, you must take responsability for yourself, your life, your actions and your community. In order to do these things successfully, you must be honourable, forth-right and have integrity. If people don't feel they can trust you, what kind of "man" could you ever be?

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kcorps

13 years ago

.. I think be a man mean strong & can generate lots of money .. so with that you can get many cute girls & what you dream of ...

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excoder01

13 years ago

He just simply "be"

That's it...being a man is not about being that or this...you just "be"

The ultimate is to attain peace of mind.

Given that most of us are IMers here, I'm surprise no one mentioned David's Dangelo (Eben Pagn) and Dr. Paul defintion's of what masculinity is:

Masculinity = Having a mission + skills to attract lovers

Of course, it's all cultural-based in my opinion...

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Rough Outline

13 years ago

Being a man? We have many capacities.

I'd rather look at the things you shouldn't do to be a men, rather than the things you must do to be a man.

You can't be a coward, a liar, a cheater, a bully. Just a few things, there are plenty more.

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thedropoutkid

13 years ago

It's all perspective.

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PeterDunin

13 years ago

Being able to protect and provide for your family.

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biggsy

13 years ago

"NUT UP.... OR SHUT UP"
~ZombieLand

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Brian Kerr

13 years ago

To me, I correlate much of david DeAngelo's words.

Being dominate, being the leading hand to a group, providing value and not taking it.

Going after what you want, handling your own thoughts and emotions positively.

Accepting who you are, and never apologizing for it.

The ideas go on and on... but most of it follows along the lines of, act in the face of fear to get what you want. Accept and assume risk if benefits are worth it.

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excoder01

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Brian Kerr

To me, I correlate much of david DeAngelo's words.

Being dominate, being the leading hand to a group, providing value and not taking it.

Going after what you want, handling your own thoughts and emotions positively.

Accepting who you are, and never apologizing for it.

The ideas go on and on... but most of it follows along the lines of, act in the face of fear to get what you want. Accept and assume risk if benefits are worth it.

Sounds like being a woman as well, right?

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Pattaya

13 years ago

real men make their debts a priority.

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Jonathan 2.0 Banned 13 years ago

"To put other people (family, friends) first. And, when appropriate, risk your life for theirs."

That's something I couldn't do. And therefore, I'm not a man. :-(

I have to remember that beyond fear is Love, Joy, And Peace. And, God willing, I can redeem myself and like the person I see in the mirror.

Thank you for the contributions. They've all been good.
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simtex

13 years ago

To me being a man is having self confidence believing in yourself

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excoder01

13 years ago

After reading many of the replies here....it seems many of the males are biased.

I'd say 90% of the traits you guys mentioned - being confidence, getting what you want in life, standing up for something, etc....applies to "Being A Woman" as well.

And I'm a guy to say this...

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What Does It Mean To Be A Man

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