Which Communication Style do you see yourself use often - Honest?

by minitg
19 replies
Assertive = straightforward, honest, caring, reliable
Aggressive = loud, angry, attacking, whining, guilt-inducing, manipulative.
Passive = timid, avoiding, tentative, non-responsive, frightened
Passive Aggressive = guilt-inducing, dishonest, underhanded, sniping, devious.

Assertive is the best and I try to use that as often as I can, but sometimes I find myself falling into whining or guilt inducing to get my message through.
#assertive communication #communication #communication style #effective communication #honest #honesty #style #truthful
  • Assertive can be the best tool and it must come in time depending on situation. You cannot be too assertive to get your way, you must earn it first.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Louis Monk
    To be assertive is better than to be aggressive. Shyness or timidness can be a weakness to overcome and therefore assertiveness without appearing to be aggressive is the best way to be.

    I was not naturally assertive and when I went into sales, assertiveness was an important part of being a salesman which I had to learn and work at.

    I am less shy than I used to be when I was a lot younger but now that I am well matured I am more assertive especially when I know I am right as in the case of a recent situation with the failings of a solicitor.
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    • Profile picture of the author bizfox
      Assertive for me too. Just helps makes communication smoother. I really hate the aggressive style communicators.
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      • Profile picture of the author Isaachun
        Assertive is generally the most positive of the four to use, but you should also have the three others in your arsenal of communication. Depending on situation, you must use different style to get desired results.
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        • Profile picture of the author adami
          My vote for assertive too. I find it easier to be honest with people in general.

          Assertive is like the "default" style. If that doesn't work you can always employ other means to get your message across.
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  • Profile picture of the author BCJason
    I try to be generally pleasant or assertive when interacting with people but when dealing with aggressive situations I can go there too a bit too quickly. I always feel awful after aggressive confrontation. One thing I really watch out for is timid quiet personalities as they tend to be passively aggressive, which can really hurt your business without you even knowing where the trouble is coming from.
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    • Profile picture of the author minitg
      Originally Posted by BCJason View Post

      I try to be generally pleasant or assertive when interacting with people but when dealing with aggressive situations I can go there too a bit too quickly. I always feel awful after aggressive confrontation. One thing I really watch out for is timid quiet personalities as they tend to be passively aggressive, which can really hurt your business without you even knowing where the trouble is coming from.
      BCJason, I agree with you about the Passive Aggressive, but then don't lose sight of the Passive, they are unresponsive or they avoid you and hold things from happening. Can be real game spoiler, not good team players at all.
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  • Profile picture of the author minitg
    We all try to be assertive most of the time and it feels good to be assertive. Assertive communicators value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.

    Assertive communicators will:
    • state needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
    • express feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
    • use “I” statements
    • communicate respect for others
    • listen well without interrupting
    • feel in control of self
    • have good eye contact
    • speak in a calm and clear tone of voice
    • have a relaxed body posture
    • feel connected to others
    • feel competent and in control
    • not allow others to abuse or manipulate them
    • stand up for their rights
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  • Profile picture of the author silverwaterfall
    assertive is best but unfortunately I too easily slip into passive.
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    • Profile picture of the author DmitriyKozlov
      Originally Posted by silverwaterfall View Post

      assertive is best but unfortunately I too easily slip into passive.
      Me too! I try to be assertive as much as possible, but oftentimes find myself trying too hard not to offend people, to the point where I almost give up my own voice and become passive.

      The challenge is remaining yourself, confident, and compassionate, without always trying to get everyone to like you.
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  • Profile picture of the author scottpickard
    Assertively aggressive - without being assertive, no one will follow your lead. Interesting to see that most people that respond to this post are assertive, likely Type A - that is why they are here and not sitting around watching TV!
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    • Profile picture of the author Sprite0803
      I would certainly go for Assertiveness as the best choice. Being assertive can really get you anywhere because it's like telling the people around you that your confident at what you do and you have what it takes to be successful.
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  • Profile picture of the author darthdeus
    Assertive for sure I sometimes get agressive, but I usually realize it and back off.

    If you are agressive and come across someone who is assertive, you don't stand a chance.
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  • Profile picture of the author yianni
    i;d say assertive
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  • Profile picture of the author DukkyMan
    What about just trying a good ole fashioned friendly approach? Being assertive is good to be sure, but not everyone will take it the same way, some might even think your being cocky. I suppose it really depends on what medium your using to communicate through, and considering the plethora of methods that can be used to communicate with these days, I feel reluctant to chose any style as the best of them all. (But obviously aggressive, passive, and passive-aggressive are never good)
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  • Profile picture of the author geegel
    Before I say anything, I usually try to listen. You'd be amazed how many people lack this basic skill.

    This unfortunately means that I tend to look quiet, but when I do talk I usually do it with a splash.

    Passive-Aggressive would fit me best according to your classification.

    Best regards,
    George
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  • Profile picture of the author Dean Jackson
    Assertive.

    You must learn to listen as well as another poster in here said. Its amazing how much people love to ramble on about themselves when they get an opportunity.

    But this also opens up the door to trust, and real relationship building because you will have whats called "charisma"
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  • Profile picture of the author rcritchett
    In many cases, I like to use a communication style I call "unconscious flow" where I don't think consciously too much about myself when I communicate. Not to be confused with not being aware of yourself and the impressions your making, or the states of people around you! I, most of the time, change my communication based on the situation. If the way in which I'm communicating isn't getting me the kinds of results I'm looking for, I change my approach! Ultimately, I'm always working towards rapport, by matching body language (in a subtle way), matching language patterns and being genuinely interested in other parties!
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