How to self coach for self development?

32 replies
I've read articles and tried several techniques in self development. Sometimes it's hard to achieve your goal in self development without the aid of the self improvement coach. But paying a self improvement coach sometimes needs extra costs, and if you are just living an ordinary life you will not be able to get one. Is there anyway that we can do a self-coaching to reach our objective for self development?
#coach #development
  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Jason, if you have a specific goal in mind, post it in this forum and you'll probably get some tips & techniques targeted specifically to that goal. Your question is really too broad to answer - it's like asking "got any cooking tips?" rather than something like "how can I make tasty vegetarian curries that are low in salt?" The more people know exactly what you want to accomplish, the better they can help.

    Chris
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    • Profile picture of the author carlitosguico
      Maybe what he mean is, how to find out that you are improving using the self development method to achieve your goal like becoming a good speaker and persuader, without hiring a self improvement coach.


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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by Mr. Enthusiastic View Post

      Jason, if you have a specific goal in mind, post it in this forum and you'll probably get some tips & techniques targeted specifically to that goal. Your question is really too broad to answer - it's like asking "got any cooking tips?" rather than something like "how can I make tasty vegetarian curries that are low in salt?" The more people know exactly what you want to accomplish, the better they can help.

      Chris
      Thanks for the reply. I just want to point if theirs anyway to improve yourself without the help of a self coach. Like for example, I want to know about the Law of Attraction, then how would i know if the law of attraction is already working with me. What are the signs to know if I'm on the right track doing the right things? Do you think I still need a self improvement coach to know that or no?
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      • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
        Originally Posted by Jason Field View Post

        Thanks for the reply. I just want to point if theirs anyway to improve yourself without the help of a self coach.
        Yes. Yes! YES! Yes!!!!

        Find someone who has faced your problem, then they got to where you want to go. What did they do? How did they think? What do they suggest?

        Find someone who has studied these successful people. What strategies, principles, techniques did those people all use, even if they didn't realize it?

        You can learn a lot about all of this without a paid coach. Talk to successful people. Read their stories. Watch documentaries about their lives. Explore books and websites with articles about how success works. Participate in forums like this one.

        If you would like to attract a good coach, in a formal coaching relationship, use the law of attraction to attract an affordable coach into your life.

        What are the signs to know if I'm on the right track doing the right things?
        Here is an area where there seems to be a contradiction. But if you look deeper, there's not one.

        Some people say, if you are on the right track doing the right things, than your journey will be effortless. Other people say, if you are on the right track, you will get more challenging obstacles so that you can grow and prove yourself at an every higher level.

        I believe that if you are on the right track doing the right things, all unnecessary challenges will fade away. For example, critical people who have nothing helpful to offer you, will not be able to bring you down. If you decided you are climbing to the top of the mountain, the voices of the people who whine that climbing is too hard will soon disappear down below you in the valley.

        Meanwhile, the necessary challenges will come faster and faster. To get to the top of the mountain faster, you might face switchbacks or even need climbing ropes. In this way you are not being punished, only overcoming challenges that most people spread out throughout an entire lifetime because they don't care as much about the mountaintop... or don't believe they could get there.

        How do you measure success? Each step gets you closer to the top. You only go down if that's the path to a better way up. The clearer your definition of what the top of the mountain is for you, the more you'll be able to measure success. The better your choice of mountaintop aspiration is for you, the faster that success will arrive... if you are ready for the necessary challenges that will arrive first.

        Does this help?

        Chris

        P.S. And did I mention: YES
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        • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
          Originally Posted by Mr. Enthusiastic View Post

          Yes. Yes! YES! Yes!!!!

          Find someone who has faced your problem, then they got to where you want to go. What did they do? How did they think? What do they suggest?

          Find someone who has studied these successful people. What strategies, principles, techniques did those people all use, even if they didn't realize it?

          You can learn a lot about all of this without a paid coach. Talk to successful people. Read their stories. Watch documentaries about their lives. Explore books and websites with articles about how success works. Participate in forums like this one.

          If you would like to attract a good coach, in a formal coaching relationship, use the law of attraction to attract an affordable coach into your life.

          You've got the point here. Finding a free on line coach and information can also be a good source for feedbacks and reliable guides for self redirection. And no need to worry about the fees.


          Here is an area where there seems to be a contradiction. But if you look deeper, there's not one.

          Some people say, if you are on the right track doing the right things, than your journey will be effortless. Other people say, if you are on the right track, you will get more challenging obstacles so that you can grow and prove yourself at an every higher level. [/QOUTE]

          YES
          Yes you are right , If I know that I'm on the right track and doing the right things then I won't need anyone to tell me about it resulting to lack of self challenges and experiences.. and there'll be less insights because of the lacking factors for improvement .
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  • Profile picture of the author medallion
    Jason,

    Glad to see your post.

    I think the best way to answer your question is relate my method for approaching this. In an ideal world., we would all have coaches to be really accountable, amd for someone to ckick us into shape when we do not meet our stated obligations!

    However, you can also be accountable to yourself, and tell someone close to you about it. This may be a friend, parten, etc. I am very hard on myself, and expect the best from myself.

    I fill my diary with objectives for the day, as well as my longer term goals, and make sure I do everything in my power to meet them. If I falter, I reset the goal, rather than just give, up, and ensure someone close to me is checking my results. This can help me to manage it a little better.

    Hope this helps for you.

    Martin
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by medallion View Post


      However, you can also be accountable to yourself, and tell someone close to you about it. This may be a friend, parten, etc. I am very hard on myself, and expect the best from myself.

      I fill my diary with objectives for the day, as well as my longer term goals, and make sure I do everything in my power to meet them. If I falter, I reset the goal, rather than just give, up, and ensure someone close to me is checking my results. This can help me to manage it a little better.

      Hope this helps for you.

      Martin
      Thanks for the reply Martin, maybe if I don't have the right coach but if I have somebody who can tell me if I falter then I'll be able to see myself through them. And I'll be able to slowly improve myself through it together with the right information I'm getting from self improvement guides.
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    • Profile picture of the author MysteryOfSean
      I found, in my life, that to have someone close to you to check your results then they hve to have your same interests and they have to want to acheive the same results. For me it's hard to find someone who wants to know if I'm succeeding at my goals.
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  • Profile picture of the author thetruth23
    Hi Jason,

    Interesting post.

    This is a rather simplistic view...but if you want to know if you are on the right track when doing something you need a way to measure how close you are to accomplishing what you are trying to do (a goal).

    What is that you are currently trying to work towards?

    I'm sure you have many goals, but which one is the most important to you right now?

    Try analysing and setting a 'SMART' goal for that area, and then measure your progress on a weekly, daily, or monthly basis.

    S - Specific (know exactly what you want)
    M - Measurable (you need a way of knowing when you will have what you want. maybe it's a certain amount in the bank, maybe it's reaching a target weight. It can be anything as long as its measureable.)
    A - Achieveable (you have to have genuine belief that you can achieve it)
    R - Realistic (a goal to be the next president is unrealistic for most people)
    T - Timed (you need to know when you want it by)

    If you're making progress, maybe that's how you know if you're on the right track or not. You just need to KNOW that you are making progress by measuring it somehow.

    I think someone mentioned Accountablility. And that is something which is hard to get with self-coaching (how many people hold themselves accountable? It's harder than we think, right?), and is obviously therefore something coaches can help you with.

    But for now, if you can't afford it, you could always ask a family member or close friend to hold you accountable.

    Tell them what you are doing, and report to them on a daily/weekly basis about what progress you are making.

    Alternatively...

    Did you know that there are many free life coaching services available?

    A lot of 'coaches in training' are suggested to get experience with clients by offering free life coaching sessions.

    Try something like craigslist or gumtree and search for ads.

    The only downsize is they're inexperienced/unqualified. But not really a big deal if all you're looking for is accountability.

    Hope that helps, and best of luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      thetruth23;2178515]Hi Jason,
      S - Specific (know exactly what you want)
      M - Measurable (you need a way of knowing when you will have what you want. maybe it's a certain amount in the bank, maybe it's reaching a target weight. It can be anything as long as its measureable.)
      A - Achieveable (you have to have genuine belief that you can achieve it)
      R - Realistic (a goal to be the next president is unrealistic for most people)
      T - Timed (you need to know when you want it by)

      If you're making progress, maybe that's how you know if you're on the right track or not. You just need to KNOW that you are making progress by measuring it somehow.
      These are great points that I sometimes miss to think about, it's very useful to know if we are making progress or not.

      I think someone mentioned Accountablility. And that is something which is hard to get with self-coaching (how many people hold themselves accountable? It's harder than we think, right?), and is obviously therefore something coaches can help you with.

      But for now, if you can't afford it, you could always ask a family member or close friend to hold you accountable.

      Tell them what you are doing, and report to them on a daily/weekly basis about what progress you are making.

      Alternatively...

      Did you know that there are many free life coaching services available?

      A lot of 'coaches in training' are suggested to get experience with clients by offering free life coaching sessions.

      Try something like craigslist or gumtree and search for ads.

      The only downsize is they're inexperienced/unqualified. But not really a big deal if all you're looking for is accountability.

      Hope that helps, and best of luck!
      They said "no one is an island." and that's where the accountability starts. But not all can be relied to other people, sometimes there are some things that needs reconsiderations, especially when it comes to financial matters. But simply by becoming resourceful we sometimes realized that there were many options that we can do to possibly bring out the things that we expect to happen and create a positive result. I'll try to check craiglist and gumtree to find out. Thanks for the suggestions thetruth23.
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  • Profile picture of the author jazbo
    You could start by taking the personal style test here:

    ultimate mind warrior

    That will give you a great starting point to see who you are and how you interact with others, including potential customers. Then you can plan where you need to develop yourself from that info. Much better to get an analysis of yourself as a starting point for self improvement.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by jazbo View Post

      You could start by taking the personal style test here:

      ultimatemindwarrior.com

      That will give you a great starting point to see who you are and how you interact with others, including potential customers. Then you can plan where you need to develop yourself from that info. Much better to get an analysis of yourself as a starting point for self improvement.
      Thanks for the link jazbo.
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  • Profile picture of the author AwesomePossum
    Yeah you can always learn yourself.

    Just go through products in goals, the subconscious, learning, success....check it all out.

    It won't happen overnight but you'll learn and over time you'll develop your own system.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by AwesomePossum View Post

      Yeah you can always learn yourself.

      Just go through products in goals, the subconscious, learning, success....check it all out.

      It won't happen overnight but you'll learn and over time you'll develop your own system.
      Yes, I tried all that. Thanks.
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  • Profile picture of the author USGTMauthor
    I think you can effectively self coach yourself if you are willing to commit to writing. By this I mean writing down your goals, creating plans to achieve them and then writing at set intervals reviews of where you are. This is the method I teach. I would be happy to give you a free copy of my ebook which details this system if you pm me.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by USGTMauthor View Post

      I think you can effectively self coach yourself if you are willing to commit to writing. By this I mean writing down your goals, creating plans to achieve them and then writing at set intervals reviews of where you are. This is the method I teach. I would be happy to give you a free copy of my ebook which details this system if you pm me.
      Glad you replied to my post. I can do the writing if it would mean to improve something to my self. I'll be happy to get a copy of your e-book. Butb I can't send you a pm for now because I only have 13 post at this time.. Thanks in for the concern USGTMauthor.
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  • Profile picture of the author kin_lau
    Hi Jason

    I think getting coach is a great idea, but ask youself : is the goal you want to achieve really worth reaching? why do you not taking action towards it?

    I can assume you have some negative association related if you achieved you goal. therefore you have mixed message in your brain, and you do not take any action.

    What the coach can do is help you to clear up your value. once that's done you are on your way.

    I used to paid $150 an hour for a coach. If you like, you can send me a private message. we can organzie a time, about 30 mins, and it's free. I hope I can help others to achieve their goal and get out of the rut.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by kin_lau View Post

      Hi Jason

      I think getting coach is a great idea, but ask youself : is the goal you want to achieve really worth reaching? why do you not taking action towards it?

      I can assume you have some negative association related if you achieved you goal. therefore you have mixed message in your brain, and you do not take any action.

      What the coach can do is help you to clear up your value. once that's done you are on your way.

      I used to paid $150 an hour for a coach.

      I would love to get a coach but for now I've got no extras to do it yet, I don't really think that I'm not taking actions, I just want to know the possibilities of self coaching, If I have the chances to develop my self into prospect even without one.

      If you like, you can send me a private message. we can organzie a time, about 30 mins, and it's free. I hope I can help others to achieve their goal and get out of the rut
      I'd really love to but I can't send a pm this time. I hope we can find another way out. Thanks for being kind.
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  • Profile picture of the author Darren L Carter
    Jason,

    Whether you pay for a coach or not, find someone who has already done what you want to do. Then learn everything you can from them. It doesn't matter what area of life this is. This is one of the best ways to do great things. Model other peoples success. This doesn't even take actual interaction with the person.

    Find books on personal development and devour them. Find people who have done what you want and figure out how they did it. Find out their mindset and beliefs and copy their work ethic and strategies.

    Hope that helps,

    Peace,
    Darren L Carter
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by Darren L Carter View Post

      Jason,

      Whether you pay for a coach or not, find someone who has already done what you want to do. Then learn everything you can from them. It doesn't matter what area of life this is. This is one of the best ways to do great things. Model other peoples success. This doesn't even take actual interaction with the person.

      Find books on personal development and devour them. Find people who have done what you want and figure out how they did it. Find out their mindset and beliefs and copy their work ethic and strategies.

      Hope that helps,

      Peace,
      Darren L Carter
      This make sense too. Finding other sources, options and successful personalities as role models are few of the best things to do.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi Jason,

    Here is another helpful personal development link:

    Personal Development for Smart People - Steve Pavlina

    This guy is brilliant, great stuff here.

    Do you meditate? If not I suggest sitting for 10 minutes a day, for starters. Find a quiet spot, sit with your back straight in a chair or cross-legged with back against a wall. Breathe in slowly, out slowly. Follow your breath down into your stomach and back out.

    All types of thoughts will run through your mind. Watch them run and let them run out of your mind. Meditation allows you to be an observer of thoughts which is a vital tool in your personal development.

    By watching your thoughts - both constructive and destructive - you may choose to act or not act on them. The more constructive acts the more you develop and more importantly the more destructive thoughts ignored the more you develop.

    My personal development has accelerated rapidly since beginning meditation twice a day.

    All the best!

    Ryan
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph View Post

      Hi Jason,

      Here is another helpful personal development link:

      Personal Development for Smart People - Steve Pavlina

      This guy is brilliant, great stuff here.

      Do you meditate? If not I suggest sitting for 10 minutes a day, for starters. Find a quiet spot, sit with your back straight in a chair or cross-legged with back against a wall. Breathe in slowly, out slowly. Follow your breath down into your stomach and back out.


      Ryan

      Yes, Steve Pavlina was a great Guy. I heard about him too. And thanks for the meditation technique. It will be very helpful.
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      • Profile picture of the author ron250k
        Jason
        As you have read there are many great ways for you to coach yourself and if I may add two things that work for me.

        The first thing is keep a journal...write out your thoughts, how you're feeling etc...
        At the end of it keep these three points in mind:
        1. What did I accomplish today
        2. What am I happy about
        3. What am I grateful for

        When I do this, regardless of the day I've had, this really keeps me grounded especially point 3.

        The second thing is have and accountability partner. Preferably a friend...especially someone who thinks you won't achieve your goals. This one little aspect can be very motivating...because you naturally want to win.
        Or someone who will support you yet hold you accountable to your outcomes.

        Hope that helps and pm me if you want to discuss further
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        • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
          Originally Posted by ron250k View Post

          Jason
          As you have read there are many great ways for you to coach yourself and if I may add two things that work for me.

          The first thing is keep a journal...write out your thoughts, how you're feeling etc...
          At the end of it keep these three points in mind:
          1. What did I accomplish today
          2. What am I happy about
          3. What am I grateful for
          Truly 3 awesome simple steps for self assessment..thanks for this info ron250k.
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          • Profile picture of the author BenBrandes
            Hey Jason, great question.

            Lay out a plan, break it up into actionable items you can do on a daily basis. Then commit to doing it. Also get someone you know to hold you accountable. Each day you don't do what you said you would commit to paying them $100 cash.

            30-90 days of this can bring in huge results and massive action. Also include writing your thoughts down like mentioned above.

            Another cool tool is My Desktop Therapist. It's a free software that allows you to create sessions to reprogram your mind. Pretty cool software.

            Hope that helps!
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  • Profile picture of the author tk226
    by creating imaginary clone of my coach and then telling him what I did today and then getting its feedback. (self dialog)
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
      Originally Posted by tk226 View Post

      by creating imaginary clone of my coach and then telling him what I did today and then getting its feedback. (self dialog)
      This is just like facing your self in the mirror while reflecting if you're doing the right things for yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jiggaman6
    I like to look at myself in the mirror and ask myself if I'm looking at the best person that I can be. If the answer is no, that gives me the extra motivation.
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  • Profile picture of the author pianochris
    The power of imagination is often overlooked. If you train your brain to imagine things happening then you'll be surprised at the eventual result.
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  • Profile picture of the author IRichie
    I always learn from the mistakes not only done by myself but others mistakes too.

    Whenever I stand with someone I keep on noticing some good things about him. I do not hesitate to tell others what I found good in them. I try to mould myself to be like them.

    You will laugh, but sometimes I try to copy a style of others like talking and looking. I am really really addict of improving myself and I see a coach in everyone. In my opinion everyone can teach me one good thing or the other.

    Just my 2 cents!
    I.Richie
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