Staying motivated after being rejected.

by tush
38 replies
Hi warriors,

You wake up one morning and find:
  1. A post in your inbox warning you not to post your views on a certain thread because you have overposted.
  2. About 50% of your clients need a refund of the product they purchased
  3. Your child seems not to be listening to you anymore
  4. The article you submitted to ezine articles has been rejected
  5. And so on....
How is one supposed to stay motivated when they feel rejected:confused:
#motivated #rejected #staying
  • Profile picture of the author Oleg Cherkasky
    I get pi**ed...

    In all seriousness, I go on... rejection is not something that someone does to you, its what you make yourself feel(though it is a very real feeling).

    I already posted something stupid in the copywriting section of the forum and got rejected for it.

    I got rejected by a guy who genuinely wanted to help in the beginning, I pi**ed him off(his words), he told me not to expect any more help from him... and life goes on.
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    • Profile picture of the author duffmarketing
      When the Universe pees on me I just pull out an umbrella and keep on walkin.
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      • Profile picture of the author danlacey8359
        Hi Annette: In my view this is a matter of having faith in yourself and your product. When you got into the business I am sure that you had a passion for what you were embarking upon. Try to think back to that time when something negative happens and reexamine your "WHY", that's what I try to do. Best wishes.
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      • Profile picture of the author Preben Frenning
        Originally Posted by duffmarketing View Post

        When God pisses on me I just pull out an umbrella and keep on walkin.
        That's the spirit.

        Well, in your case, deal with it one bite at a time.

        1. Think about why it happened, and if it's right. If not, think of some extremely strong point in your favour, as well as the points you agree with, and email them back.
        2. It must be crap, or you have sold it to the wrong people. Look over your product and marketing strategy, and figure out which one it is. You obviously have done something wrong. (Promising something, and not doing it etc.)
        Try changing refund criteria (Unless you can't influence it. for example with clickbank)
        Email those requesting a refund with a questionaire, asking why they want a refund, what you will need to do to change their minds, what they liked, and what they didn't like.

        3. Your child might just be that age. How old is he/she? It's completely normal.

        4. It's extremely common. Rewrite it, and resend it. (It's like facebook advertising. It might feel completely random, and it often is. LOL!)

        5. You can't give up. Ever. You have the same chances of succeeding as everyone else here. Making money online can be hard, so you need to be prepared.

        Try selling anything door to door, and you will feel what rejection really is. But people still do, and they cope with it.

        Last, take a cup of coffee and think about what's most important to address first, and go do it.

        Good luck

        - Preben
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        • Profile picture of the author naruq
          I stay motivated because rejection is part of the process. People reject me all the time. It does not mean that they don't respect or like me. I don't take it personal. It has not stopped me from achieving my goals. Rejection definitely will not stop me from moving forward.
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            1. A post in your inbox warning you not to post your views on a certain thread because you have overposted.
            2. About 50% of your clients need a refund of the product they purchased
            3. Your child seems not to be listening to you anymore
            4. The article you submitted to ezine articles has been rejected
            5. And so on....
            Take a deep breath, smile (it helps) and arrange your priorities

            1. address the issue with your child

            2. make the refunds and analyze why the % might be so high - do you over promise - or under deliver - or are you targeting the wrong market? If the refund rate is always that high - you need to identify what the problem is. If the high rate is a one time thing - look at your ad targeting.

            3. revise the article and resubmit to EZA

            One bite at a time. As for the forum - if you stated your views, let it go. You have more important things to do....

            kay
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            • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              Take a deep breath, smile (it helps) and arrange your priorities
              (Haha) I didn't read Kay's response. Basically, everything she said.
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              "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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          • Same with me here guys....when I started posting things mixed up I got banned and then I realized there were terms and conditions that we need to adhere and keep going. Let's face it rejection hurts but do not be in vain, be strong stay motivated just remember there's always solution to every problem. Some people use rejections their strong points, do you think you can do it?
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        • Profile picture of the author tush
          Originally Posted by Preben Frenning View Post

          That's the spirit.


          Try selling anything door to door, and you will feel what rejection really is. But people still do, and they cope with it.

          Last, take a cup of coffee and think about what's most important to address first, and go do it.

          Good luck

          - Preben
          I remember two years ago, I used to go door to door raising sponsors for kids. OMG, that was an interesting experience. :rolleyes: I think a cup of coffee is a good idea.

          As Kay says, taking a deep breath helps alot. It is so funy though, naturally, I am not the kind who fears rejection. I guess some days are just bad.

          Thanks guys and girls for your ideas. It makes a great difference.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Originally Posted by tush View Post

    Hi warriors,

    You wake up one morning and find:
    1. A post in your inbox warning you not to post your views on a certain thread because you have overposted.
    2. About 50% of your clients need a refund of the product they purchased
    3. Your child seems not to be listening to you anymore
    4. The article you submitted to ezine articles has been rejected
    5. And so on....
    How is one supposed to stay motivated when they feel rejected:confused:
    Good topic!

    My advice:

    Recognize that each of these situations is a separate situation. Don't lump them all together in your mind.

    Your child deserves your attention without your being distracted by worry about your customers.

    Meanwhile, your customers deserve your attention without your being distracted by worry about your child.

    Take one thing at a time. Compartmentalize, even if each compartment of life isn't watertight and only lasts a few minutes at a time.

    Prioritize. Where do you have a legal obligation? Where do you have a moral obligation?

    If you fail at handling the refunds properly, you could get fined or go to jail. That would make it more difficult to be a good parent!

    If the business works out OK but you can't ever get through to your kid about what matters, that would also be really bad news.

    Forums and online articles to spread your point of view? They're nice to have, but not nearly as important in life's ultimate values, right? If one doesn't work out, that doesn't matter much because another opportunity will come along. You can't say that about kids. Or about fraud investigations.

    If your customers have a right to get their money back because they're dissatisfied, then you have an obligation to refund it.

    If they don't have a legal right to a refund, then you have to decide if it's good business to do all those refunds. If half of buyers are dissatisfied, maybe the sales pitch is not as informative as it should be. Maybe they really do not accurately know what to expect. Or maybe you have just found a lousy marketplace, full of lazy arrogant whiners. What exactly is going on there? This one is important to figure out.

    Ezine articles? There are lots of threads here about how they can be arbitrary in what they accept. Learn to write fast and crank out another article. Post the rejected article somewhere else. The purpose is to create traffic for your site while not creating more grey hairs for yourself. Don't worry about this one.

    Forum tired of your views? So what? Take a break from sharing that opinion where it's not welcome. If you care about or value the people on that forum, talk about some other topic. If it's more important that you get people to admire your opinion about the topic, find another forum where people will be happy to hear all about your perspective.

    Were your views on one topic rejected by the forum moderators? Yes. It probably doesn't matter, or shouldn't matter. If they didn't ban you, then they didn't reject you. Just that one point of view from you.

    Did your customers reject your current offer? Yes. Did they reject you? Hard to tell until you deal with the situation and make them another offer.

    Did ezine articles reject your current article? Yes. Did they reject you? If you aren't banned, no, they'd be willing to consider your next article. It's not really worth much of your attention to try to figure this one out.

    Did your kid reject your opinion? Yes, or at least rejected the idea of paying attention to what you're actually saying. Is that important? Yes, kids deserve parents who try more than one way to maintain an emotional connection. However, kids can also get distracted or choose a bad attitude. This might have been a one-time thing that feels worse than it is because you already worried about feeling rejected in business. What's really going on there? Another situation that's important to figure out.

    Just take it all one step at a time. Don't forget to breathe!

    Chris
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    • Profile picture of the author tush
      Originally Posted by Mr. Enthusiastic View Post

      Good topic!

      My advice:

      Recognize that each of these situations is a separate situation. Don't lump them all together in your mind.

      Your child deserves your attention without your being distracted by worry about your customers.

      Meanwhile, your customers deserve your attention without your being distracted by worry about your child.

      Take one thing at a time. Compartmentalize, even if each compartment of life isn't watertight and only lasts a few minutes at a time.

      Prioritize. Where do you have a legal obligation? Where do you have a moral obligation?

      If you fail at handling the refunds properly, you could get fined or go to jail. That would make it more difficult to be a good parent!

      If the business works out OK but you can't ever get through to your kid about what matters, that would also be really bad news.

      Forums and online articles to spread your point of view? They're nice to have, but not nearly as important in life's ultimate values, right? If one doesn't work out, that doesn't matter much because another opportunity will come along. You can't say that about kids. Or about fraud investigations.

      If your customers have a right to get their money back because they're dissatisfied, then you have an obligation to refund it.

      If they don't have a legal right to a refund, then you have to decide if it's good business to do all those refunds. If half of buyers are dissatisfied, maybe the sales pitch is not as informative as it should be. Maybe they really do not accurately know what to expect. Or maybe you have just found a lousy marketplace, full of lazy arrogant whiners. What exactly is going on there? This one is important to figure out.

      Ezine articles? There are lots of threads here about how they can be arbitrary in what they accept. Learn to write fast and crank out another article. Post the rejected article somewhere else. The purpose is to create traffic for your site while not creating more grey hairs for yourself. Don't worry about this one.

      Forum tired of your views? So what? Take a break from sharing that opinion where it's not welcome. If you care about or value the people on that forum, talk about some other topic. If it's more important that you get people to admire your opinion about the topic, find another forum where people will be happy to hear all about your perspective.

      Were your views on one topic rejected by the forum moderators? Yes. It probably doesn't matter, or shouldn't matter. If they didn't ban you, then they didn't reject you. Just that one point of view from you.

      Did your customers reject your current offer? Yes. Did they reject you? Hard to tell until you deal with the situation and make them another offer.

      Did ezine articles reject your current article? Yes. Did they reject you? If you aren't banned, no, they'd be willing to consider your next article. It's not really worth much of your attention to try to figure this one out.

      Did your kid reject your opinion? Yes, or at least rejected the idea of paying attention to what you're actually saying. Is that important? Yes, kids deserve parents who try more than one way to maintain an emotional connection. However, kids can also get distracted or choose a bad attitude. This might have been a one-time thing that feels worse than it is because you already worried about feeling rejected in business. What's really going on there? Another situation that's important to figure out.

      Just take it all one step at a time. Don't forget to breathe!

      Chris
      Chris, you are sooo funny. This is what I needed to hear. You must be a great motivator. I will buy your WSO if you have one. Was just wondering why these things wait to happen all in one day:rolleyes:
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Oh, you didn't tell me this things all happened on the same day.

    Let me change my advice accordingly:


    I don't currently have a WSO but I do appreciate the response. I have thought about offering some books and talks with these kinds of tips about handling emotions. Glad I could brighten your day.
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  • Profile picture of the author thetruth23
    Don't take rejection personally!

    Things happen in life that some people would just rather not have, and they reject it.

    It's fine though, its just a part of life.

    You can never be all things to all people, and you can never be perfect enough to gain acceptance from EVERYONE.

    Nor should you look for it.

    Accept that rejection is part of the game (every game!), don't take it personally, and then just keep doing what you're doing.

    Also, have you ever paid attention to your self-talk?

    What do you say to yourself when you experience some form of rejection?

    Whatever it is you say to yourself, do not be negative to make yourself feel any worse.

    Try to stay positive, or at worst, indifferent.

    Anyway, Keep Going!
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  • Profile picture of the author VcontentCreation
    Hey!

    In this situation, just recall the time when all your articles got accepted in ezine, when your buyers paid you a bonus for the quality work!!

    Whenever you are despondent, just recall the time you had everything and then aim for getting everything back.

    You'll be fully charged up again and you'll soon be back to normal.
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  • Profile picture of the author AirDuster
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    • Profile picture of the author adami
      Rejection is part of the game. Try to view it as just another obstacle on your road to success.

      We should also cherish all the little victories we win every day. Helps greatly to keep you motivated.

      Try also to picture how many people would quit after a day like that. Having the courage to continue is what separates you from them and what will guarantee your success in the long term.
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  • Profile picture of the author FiverrGuru
    don't concentrate on the negative - just keep doing what brings you money
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  • Profile picture of the author tush
    Thanks guys and (girls)
    Indeed bad days always come to an end. This week has been an incredible one! I wish life and business can stay like this!
    Here is to more success and victory
    annette
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    • Profile picture of the author Vogin
      Just 50% need refund? That's fine, you made sales, nothing to worry about. Personally, I like rejection, because I want to be perfect and rejection shows me that I have to do something better.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gemini9
    Don't believe rejection means you're a failure. Could be the other person just can't deal with your beauty & brilliance and so the easiest thing is to cast you off.

    Take a step back and take a candid review of what a great person you are. Accept this as a learning experience and then MOVE ON, ASAP!

    Believe that better things/people await you and soon enough the universe will start to provide them.
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    • Profile picture of the author tush
      Originally Posted by Gemini9 View Post

      Don't believe rejection means you're a failure. Could be the other person just can't deal with your beauty & brilliance and so the easiest thing is to cast you off.

      .
      I love this one
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Another positive is that it's better to have one bad day when everything goes wrong - instead of 4 or 5 days when you feel dumped on every day.
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        • Profile picture of the author themindvoid
          a wise women once told me "when life gives you lemons, squeeze them in some eye and say, "Well hey, life is tough""

          haven't figured it out yet, but it did cheer me up
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  • Profile picture of the author link8
    Banned
    You know what I do every time I have a really bad day and feel like giving up?

    Instead of thinking positively is that I think about all of my past problems, some of them I thought I could have never conquered or get through but I did so when ever I have problems I compare and say to myself, my problems today are not even half of what I used to face before so I can conquered that before I can definitely overcome this problem.

    cheers!
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  • Profile picture of the author Zentech
    I've been on the copywriting forum for less than 2 months and have already managed to piss off and alienate two of its biggest names. Rejection is a part of life - especially if you are masochistic enough to be an authentic person who stays true to yourself and does what you think is right - even though you know it's gonna hurt.

    I've been a pariah all my life - and I'm under no illusion that my experience in this business is going to be any different. But you know what? I have my clients, customers (and outside of business) supporters who do "get" me and support me 100%. It's all about those clients, customers, and friends - and nobody else.

    Embrace rejection. It is the best evidence that you are unique, different, and valuable. Let rejection empower you to become even more unique and valuable to those who do value and appreciate you. Let it be your rocket fuel instead of your boat anchor.
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  • Profile picture of the author emmajane
    1. you have overposted. that doesn't sound like a big problem does it? just make sure you know what their limit is in future.
    2. What was the time limit for them to claim a refund, was it 30 days? apparently 90 days works better, alot better than 30 if you are able to make that change. you could also ask what was wrong with product and if possible alter it.
    3. your child is playing up. Take him off sugar and give him some essential fatty acids. sounds bonkers i know, but it very often works. makes them smarter too.
    4. your ezine article rejected. did they specify the problem? are you able to redo it?

    take time out whilst you're mulling these things over, chill out, do what you want for a while, then take a deep breath and start again.
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  • Profile picture of the author Millefiore
    Rejection doesn't necessarily stays, besides we can always try again, and while we have crossed the limit for the time being and not being able to post, then just shift focus to do other things while waiting for the cool off period. Can try posting somewhere else. There are just many more things to take care of instead of letting an obstruction in one of the channels cause the entire process to come to a halt.
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  • Profile picture of the author AnneE
    I watch my favorite "Don't Quit" video:


    In terms of my kids, I can usually get back on good terms by finding something we both always like -- whether it's a favorite place to eat, a favorite joke between the two of us, a hug -- different common ground and rebonding depending on who it is.

    In terms of something I'm selling, it can be very discouraging.

    For instance, my latest promotion, can be seen here: No-Work Spanish - A Whole New Way to Learn a Foreign Language by Anne Emerick — Kickstarter

    and as you can see the response has been quite underwhelming.

    BUT.... I KNOW the product works, that it's unique and can really make a difference. I remind myself of how I know this and know that I just need to find the right way to reach people with that message.

    I did have one month with a string of online product refund requests -- same product that had had 0 refund requests for a long time -- just one of those everything coming in bunches.

    Keep the faith!
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  • Profile picture of the author HugoG
    I think that the Universe is telling you that you are not in the right vibration and that you are not align with your true desires. So its manifesting in the physical world like this.

    So I say that you have to listen to your intuiton to see what is the thing that is making you attract those events into your life and just change it.
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  • Profile picture of the author rcritchett
    One Answer: Psycho-emotional strength.

    It's to understand these things more in terms of brain physiology than in concepts.

    When you gain "psychological strength," you tame a region of your brain responsible for noticing errors and labeling something as "significant," called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex.

    Different perspective huh? You do it in your mind - Practice it. Have more control over the processes of your brain (this can be achieved by things like meditation which wires the CEO of your brain, the PF Cortex with the rest of your brain) and daily exercise (stimulates the growth of new neurons and strengthens current ones, better brain flexibility).

    Try not to sit in the bad feelings too long, all that does is activate the same neural networks (brain networks associated with these feelings).

    But Rather, read about people who have gotten through things similar to what you're facing. Create images of yourself pushing through the discomfort, because that's what successful people do.

    Reality is negotiable. Always look for something actionable, you'll do great.
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  • Profile picture of the author navyseal
    In other words, never say never...

    Don't worry! I've experienced that before.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    There's no such thing as “rejection.” It's just an emotional response (or interpretation) to something that's happening. Something that helps me is to remember there's no “failure” only “feedback.”

    So here's what you've learned:

    1. Stop over-posting, because then you'll be free to comment on whatever you like :-)
    2. Keep working on your product, and listen to feedback, because it's not up to par quite yet
    3. Figure out why your article has been rejected and make the necessary changes

    So there you go. That's how you turn defeat into victory. (If you can look at it like this, you'll be well on your way to being successful.)

    I hope this has been helpful. (Maybe it's just me, but I become more motivated and positive when I figure out how I can improve and become more successful.)
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  • Profile picture of the author BJ Broen
    I used to think, when I was a kid, that if I wasn't perfect no one would like me.
    Guess what: I am not perfect. No one else is perfect. Some people like me & some people don't. So what! Life is still good if I look at the good & the people who do like & even love me, instead of dwelling in the land of the imperfect & thinking about the people who don't!
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  • Profile picture of the author grannywriteswell
    I have found that when things go wrong in a group like that, that it means there is something I have done that is not in balance. For example a while ago I had a row with my teenage daughter and she stormed off; nothing new but I was angry because of the way she had spoken to me. This lasted for a few days and during that time I lost money, got a huge bill I didn't expect, my site went down, I wasn't getting any clients for my writing work and I burned the dinner. At the time I didn't click as to what the connection was between those things and the row with my daughter.

    A couple of days later I met up with my daughter in town. i was so pleased to see her that all of my anger disappeared and I just hugged her, and she cried and I cried and well you get the picture. But from that very moment onwards my "luck" changed - I won $100 on a poker machine that I just put $2 in; I got three good clients in one day which meant my bills would get paid and everything was in sync again.

    Now I spend a lot less time getting angry with my now adult kids, and other people - I prefer to accept a lot more and react a lot less and my life has improved tremendously because of that.

    I know things will get back on track for you - just try and stay balanced inside yourself and everything else will go the way it is meant to.

    Have an awesome day
    Ellen
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  • Profile picture of the author Brian Kerr
    .... stop it. Look around. Where are you now. Where do you want to be?

    Ok then. Do you have time to feel rejected? No, you need to work towards where you want to be.

    Layout the steps to get there.... simple.
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  • Profile picture of the author derrickschwan
    That's normal, that's part of the venture, ignore everything and start again.
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  • Profile picture of the author ejb2059
    The Power of Positive Thinking is a VERY POWERFUL tool / weapon .. I always remember that failure / rejection are stepping stones to success ..No great person ever got there by not experiencing, learning from, and over coming negativity
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  • Profile picture of the author Simon H
    Everyday life will throw you challenges and spit on you in some shape or form. Its how you deal with it that defines where you will end up.

    Dealing with rejection is a part of life's game. If something is not working or if your idea is getting rejected, instead of giving up find out why and fix it. Its always about pikcing yourself up and learning from failures or mistakes.

    If 50% of your clients need a refund, then improve your product.
    If your child is not listening, change your approach.
    If your article is not getting accepted on ezines, fix your article.

    Life is not easy, but can be simple if you know how to play the game.
    Deal with 1 problem at a time, find a solution to each problem.

    Once you build momentum and overcome 1 obstable, you will find that it becomes
    repetitive, fun and rewarding.

    Write down daily goals of things that need to be done and fixed, and checkmark them
    once they are done.

    Follow this formula and you will overcome all obstacles.
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