Your Career - Don't Do What Others Want You To Do

28 replies
If you are unhappy with your career it's time to stop and ask the question:

"Whose life am I living?"

Many live their parent's or friend's lives without knowing it. Their parents might want them to be a doctor or lawyer and even though the child doesn't want this they are afraid to disappoint their parents. They grow up living their parent's lives, going to med school or law school and being unhappy.

The same thing happens with friends. Some of your friends might be unhappy with their careers and might want the same for you. If you became an entrepreneur they might be jealous inside or they might fear losing you to a different set of friends.

You only get one shot at life. If you are unhappy you are probably living someone else's life.

Be You. Lose the old idea that you must please people or fit in and just be you, because you are the best you in the history of creation.
#career
  • Profile picture of the author Rensburg
    True thoughts, so true!

    My worst fear is not being able to live the life I want, but I am working on it!
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  • Profile picture of the author Don Schenk
    People will "choose" a career path at age 18-22 while in college or at college age, then 20 years later realize they are in the wrong profession.

    It's okay to change - at any age.

    Ian is a fellow we met when my wife started law school in the early 1970s - he was 40 years old a the time, held a PhD in chemistry, was working as a chemist - and he hated the job. So at age 40 he entered law school - became an attorney, and is still having the time of his life working at age 78.

    Renate was a registered nurse (and a mom with 2 kids) when at age 39 she decided to become an MD. So when her kids were just finishing high school, she was attending medical school. She became what she wanted.

    My friend Jim, was a musician (bachelor's degree in music). He played with the New Orleans Symphony, moved to Vegas and played behind the show groups, later he landed in LA and did motion picture sound tracks for 11 years. One day, out of the blue he took a night course in accounting, started working as an accountant, moved to the Midwest, then studied for and passed the CPA exam - on his own!

    He worked for several years as a CPA, then went into computer networking and IT - again self taught. Now he is an independent trainer for several software companies that manufacture banking software - his IT and CPA experience has paid off well.

    Greg is a CPA who later took it up a notch to become a CMA, became comptroller of a large national company, tired of it, taught himself C++ and became a freelance software engineer with a background in accounting.

    You can be/do anything you want. Just put in the effort.

    :-Don
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    • Originally Posted by Don Schenk View Post

      People will "choose" a career path at age 18-22 while in college or at college age, then 20 years later realize they are in the wrong profession.

      It's okay to change - at any age.

      Ian is a fellow we met when my wife started law school in the early 1970s - he was 40 years old a the time, held a PhD in chemistry, was working as a chemist - and he hated the job. So at age 40 he entered law school - became an attorney, and is still having the time of his life working at age 78.

      Renate was a registered nurse (and a mom with 2 kids) when at age 39 she decided to become an MD. So when her kids were just finishing high school, she was attending medical school. She became what she wanted.

      My friend Jim, was a musician (bachelor's degree in music). He played with the New Orleans Symphony, moved to Vegas and played behind the show groups, later he landed in LA and did motion picture sound tracks for 11 years. One day, out of the blue he took a night course in accounting, started working as an accountant, moved to the Midwest, then studied for and passed the CPA exam - on his own!

      He worked for several years as a CPA, then went into computer networking and IT - again self taught. Now he is an independent trainer for several software companies that manufacture banking software - his IT and CPA experience has paid off well.

      Greg is a CPA who later took it up a notch to become a CMA, became comptroller of a large national company, tired of it, taught himself C++ and became a freelance software engineer with a background in accounting.

      You can be/do anything you want. Just put in the effort.

      :-Don
      Sounds all too familiar. I was a marine scientist for 8 years. I quit my job as a secure government scientist to pursue internet marketing. Here it is well over a year later, and I've never regretted it. All that weight I gained while working at that stressful job is practically falling off!.
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      • Profile picture of the author HelenAbell
        This post is great! After training as a Physicist, I spent 15 years as a Software Engineer (moving from mainframes & aircraft manufacturing to banking to e-commerce to local government fields during this time) then moved into corporate management for 6 years before finally taking the opportunity to be made redundant as a much needed kick up the behind to go it alone in internet marketing, which was IMO the best thing that could have happened. I 'm still learning a lot, and am very excited about this! But it would have been a little too easy to stay in a secure job taking the regular paychecks!

        Kind Regards
        Helen
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        • Originally Posted by HelenAbell View Post

          But it would have been a little too easy to stay in a secure job taking the regular paychecks!
          It usually is. It's hard letting go of that so-called security.
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    • Profile picture of the author Audrey Harvey
      Originally Posted by Don Schenk View Post


      It's okay to change - at any age.

      :-Don
      When I started vet school, there was a gentleman in my classes who was 61. He had always wanted to be a vet, but he had to raise his family, and work his farm to support them. When he enrolled in the 5 year course, his daughters had grown up and had their own lives, and he at last had the time to follow his dream.

      It's never too late to do what you love.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Thanks Guys..... and Don thanks for your insight. My father retired recently and has become internet marketing savvy at age 63. It's never to late to start something new.
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  • Profile picture of the author IRichie
    I always think the same thing all the time.

    Yes! When we are kids we live the life of our parents and do whatever they say. When we are the students, we live the life of teachers and do whatever they want us to do. After marriage we live the life of our soul mates.

    Then when I will live my life? When I will do the things what I want to do?

    Yes, I totally agree. Nice thread, indeed!
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  • Profile picture of the author DrGUID
    Good thread.

    Years ago I went to a training course. The course was rubbish but I was always inspired by the woman who taught it - she'd had about 10 different careers.

    So far I've been sales assistant, scientist, technical writer, software developer and now I'm becoming very knowledgeable about marketing. I'm also learning Chinese, so maybe language teacher is next on my list!
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  • Profile picture of the author Tatiana Aleshina
    Thanks for this post!

    But sometimes it's not easy to just snap out of it and start living our own life. I think the key is to understand first why you have maybe tried to please others at the expense of your own wishes (and I've been there, done that).

    If anyone is serious about this live-your-own-life business I highly recommend looking into the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) -- EFTUniverse.com. Particularly check out the Palace of Possibilities tutorial and the Personal Peace Procedure.

    EFT is a great tool to identify and eliminate -- yes, eliminate -- the emotional baggage that may be holding us back from achieving our fullest potential.

    There is a lot of discussion on this forum about the power of the mindset and of Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" etc. That is all well and good and I truly believe that the mindset is the main key to where we are in life. The thing is, though, that books like that give us the WHAT needs to be done.

    Sometimes the missing link is the HOW. Sometimes affirmations are not enough or are not effective. I really think that EFT is the missing piece of the puzzle in that it actually teaches (for free) the HOW to remove obstacles that may be stopping things like affirmations from working to their full potential.

    (PS EFT is not 'promotable' so no personal interest here , it just really is an awesome tool!)
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  • Profile picture of the author eugeneoconnell
    Being true to yourself requires actions rooted with independent thoughts. While observing and gaining knowledge from others enables us to cultivate and develop additional skills, it is very important act with techniques that reflect our character.
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  • Profile picture of the author DesignDevelopment
    It is better to choose career early.. You can change things with time,... I will go with Multiple fields rather than sticking myself with one Chosen defined career. Life is to experience. The more you Open yourself the Better You grow. Its your Life go your way, if its wrong go the other way... Make ways you like.. :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author HawkPrecision
    Wow! I love this post! Thank you!
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  • Profile picture of the author Melissa Johnson
    A big thanks to your post. A truly motivation for me. Been confused and lost lately but with this and a few good tips from friends it helped me realize what I love doing. Thanks again.
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  • Profile picture of the author elitewms
    The only way to obtain satisfaction with your career is to find one that you are passionate about. You can become a lawyer and doctor because of the potential income, but are you choosing that career because of money...then you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.
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  • Profile picture of the author stopper
    I am the best me since Adam and I will the the best me till the End only me can become a better me
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  • Profile picture of the author Robert Michael
    Amen to that. As they say, if you can't find the job you want - create it.

    PS: why the hell am I awake at 6 AM... LOL I usually dont wake up til like 11!! omg its so earlyyyyyyy
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  • Profile picture of the author w@rrior
    Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. ~James Matthew Barrie
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  • This is true, everyone don't wish to work that people want you to do, just like for some case the family want to you be doctor, then you be doctor, NO SUCH THING !

    The simple thing is, what do you live for ? live for who ? live for yourself ? or live for the family , or just live for the sake of money ? depends.... But I'm sure a life of yourself must be have some purpose , an aim to live for.

    Let say I love internet, everything I go in unlimited, love to see the component, love to research, love to see things I never see, make it as a platform for you to expand. Let say you love skating, put everything in your life and passion on skating, and so on with your interest.

    I wish that everyone is not bond with or co-dependent with somebody to live on, is just wasting of time without building your personal asset.
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  • Profile picture of the author Arthur Barn
    True indeed! Whenever there is a change that can boost you personality and your career with what you have seen and to other people, do it! Learn things from others because most of those are from their experiences.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gavori
    I want to do something in the business area since I find it entertaining seeing money flow in depending on the way you play your cards
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  • Its your career ...It totally depends on you...Don't go with other advice.

    Listen them and think it..what they said.. and then decide yourself what you want to be.
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  • Profile picture of the author jackcoburn
    I agree with this post. The feeling of accomplishment is very overwhelming if what you did is the thing that you really like to do.
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  • Profile picture of the author elijahjudd
    It is not wrong to listen to others advice but at the end it is still you that has the final decision if you will do it or not. It is best to listen to what really is inside you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tommy Smith
    Exactly! Ever since i wanted to be an Architect... but i ended as an accountant.
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