Are There Energy Vampires In Your Life?

16 replies
Are you holding on to someone who might be holding you back?

Letting go of energy vampires who suck the life out of you might be difficult. Perhaps they are friends or even loved ones. Remember that your goals and more importantly your life are the most important thing on earth. God placed you here to fulfill a purpose and letting go negative or destructive people is the difficult but necessary step we each need to take to achieve that purpose.

I've had to release former friends and break up relationships because people tried like hell to hold me back. I don't fault them and hold any grudges. I simply outgrew the relationship.

Remember, there are billions of people on earth. Letting go a worn out relationship makes way for a new, more harmonious friendship. God is ready and willing to replace the old with the new.

How many fellow Warriors have been through a similar experience in letting go and growing?

Ryan Biddulph
#energy #life #vampires
  • Profile picture of the author rmolina88
    Would my boss, supervisor, and co-workers count?
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    • Profile picture of the author Cracker
      Yes, I have experienced this and it can be very difficult & draining, especially if the energy sapping vampire happens to be a close friend/relative.

      Its better to let go than cling on forever, though its often very difficult to detach, but ultimately all relationships have a finite ending.

      It does make lot of sense to stay away from such energy sapping people, no matter how good a relationship one may have shared in the past.

      For me, I have found it best to gradually drift away & disconnect than cut off such relationships abruptly.
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    • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
      Yes they would rmolina88. Sounds like it's time to rethink your current place of employment if this is happening on a continual basis.
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    • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
      Thanks for your feedback guys.

      Cracker, it's interesting I find it easier to do the opposite. I experienced a great deal of anxiety when letting go of friends gradually. When I decided to do so in one fell swoop, man did it feel good. Not because I disliked them but because it was a new beginning and better for both parties. Of course that one moment hurt but right after, the relief.

      And tj, it is true. Those closest to us may want us to be happy but they may also feel alone if we move ahead quicker than they do. This is why they try to hold us back. Most of it is on a subconscious level, not that it excuses their behavior.

      Ryan Biddulph
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      • Profile picture of the author BrittyBritt
        Originally Posted by tj0575 View Post

        This is so true. It goes back to the old saying "Misery loves company".
        I couldn't have said it better myself.The sad part is that a lot of these "vampires" are our family members, significant others and close friends. Sometimes its even hard to realize that they're being an "energy vampire".

        Have you ever had a friend/loved one say something negative when you were about to make a change in your life?

        i.e. "I'm going to lose weight this year" or "One of my dreams is to own a big house".

        And they make a rude comment/noise? It's an energy vampire.

        Another example is someone that never has anything positive to say about anything (doesn't have to be you that they're referring to)

        i.e. "My job sucks" or "Things never seem to go my way". You have yourself another energy vampire.

        The surprising part is that some of these people don't even realize that they're doing this or bringing so much negativity into not only their life but yours as well. The hardest part is actually letting go of these people or distancing yourself from them to the point where they don't affect your life or your actions.

        I, for one, have a hard time doing that but in the end you have to do what's best for you.
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      • Profile picture of the author Cracker
        Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph View Post


        Cracker, it's interesting I find it easier to do the opposite.
        Didn't work out for me well, due to my fault & my emotional attachment with the relationship.

        I recollect cutting out a few relationships in a swipe long ago, which had indeed worked out quite well. I guess a the variation in disconnect has been due to the past relationship I have shared with each individual.

        But I fully agree with you that it is easier to make a quick exit.
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  • Profile picture of the author tj0575
    This is so true. It goes back to the old saying "Misery loves company". I have had to let go of some friends. I find it so crazy, that friends and loved ones, don't want you to succeed. I guess since they feel as though their life is as good it gets, they don't want you to do any better.
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  • Profile picture of the author KatyaSenina
    Interesting thread. I was thinking about it today, trying to figure out how to deal with these people (well actually some of my loved ones to be more precise )... It's complicated.

    Letting go of negative friends is easy. When it comes to loved ones, that's a whole different story. The hardest part is perhaps learning to deal with family members who don't share the same mindset or view life the way you do.

    How do you escape arguments when some of your family members think the only way to prove their point is to bitch and fight and to blame their loved ones for their failures in life? How do you close off from that and move into a more peaceful, calm environment?

    How do you live between 4 walls with people who constantly have bad, negative energy around them? That's draining and exhausting!

    I'm still trying to figure that out. Sometimes earplugs are my very best friend. Thinking of moving out this year. It's about time.
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  • Profile picture of the author TCmarketer
    I had one that actually left ME and actually thought i was the one being an idiot and thinking negative. I wasn't sad to see him go, but I was deeply saddened that he wouldn't get it.
    Funny thing though, no matter how much your life improves without them, something still lingers in the back of you mind that wonders how they're doing. Then you realize that nothing changed for them.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Great discussion guys.

    I know first hand how hard it can be to deal with family members and former friends who criticize you for wanting to be successful. It hurts. I just kept going though and minimized my time with such people, even the family or just let them go all together.

    Ryan Biddulph
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Remember that your goals and more importantly your life are the most important thing on earth.
      That statement bothers me. Of course, to YOU it's the most important thing. Others may not see it that way - but that's to be expected.

      Have you ever had a friend/loved one say something negative when you were about to make a change in your life?

      i.e. "I'm going to lose weight this year" or "One of my dreams is to own a big house".
      People don't always respond the way we want them to. Sometimes they are just negative - but sometimes family and friends know us better than we realize.

      If you are overweight and promise to lose weight "this year" - strangers and new acquaintances will make positive comments. Those who know you well may say something negative. They may have heard the same promise year after year and know better than you do that your promises are just dreams and nothing more.

      Talking about making a change is just talking. If you make the change, the attitude of those around you may be more positive.

      You can dazzle a stranger with endless tales of IM and how much money you will make - but close friends and family know your personality. They know if you are too lazy to get the work done - they know if your habit is to start something new and quit at the first difficulty. They know when you are just a dreamer. They also may fear your disappointment and thus try to limit your expectations.

      This is not an argument in favor of negativity. Just a caution that you are responsible for your own positivity. If you dump everyone you know who doesn't act as a cheerleader for your endeavors- you can lose more than you gain. If all your friends and family react in a negative way when you talk about your "plans" - it might be wise to think about why that would happen....or might be wise to stop talking and start showing them what you can do.

      When I first began working online I didn't tell any friends or family what I was doing. I thought they would tell me I was crazy - so I just didn't mention it. When I received my first 3-figure check I said "look what I'm doing" - and they cheered me on.

      What you want is for others to accept you and your dreams - but that means you must accept them and their limitations, too. Cutting off people who love you because they don't share your personal dreams of "success" - may not be the best thing to do.

      Your life is the most important thing to YOU - but "success" is only a small part of who you are in life.

      kay
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      • Profile picture of the author paulgl
        Life would be so much easier without friends and family, wouldn't it?

        Paul
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        • Profile picture of the author Cracker
          Originally Posted by paulgl View Post

          Life would be so much easier without friends and family, wouldn't it?

          Paul
          Nope, that would mean living in isolation. For me, I always enjoy being in the company of a good friend or a family member. Living entirely without any social & family ties is something I cannot ever imagine, for me friends & family are a excellent support system.

          Its just that, when a few of them turn negative & stay deeply negative then it is better & easier to continue ahead without those few elements.

          Cheers
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      • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
        Hi Kay,

        I believe we all have a purpose to serve, and this purpose is higher than any other.

        I've been blessed with the gift of life to serve this purpose. This is what I mean by focusing on my goals.

        God is always first, and when God gives me a task I listen and make everything else secondary.

        Ryan Biddulph
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  • Profile picture of the author vem
    Interesting thought - energy vampires - but I have one question - how would I recognize one when I see one. I am so bad at it.
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    • Profile picture of the author Chantal-Louise
      I enjoyed reading this and partially agree. I think to succeed you sometimes have to shed away those people holding you back and take a focused approach to really achieve your goal!
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