Most people don't start out with the intention to live a stagnant life but as time goes on and they are burdened with the responsibilities of raising and taking care of their families they settle into a routine. They are afraid to take chances because they have families to take care of. They want that regular weekly paycheck. They don't talk to their children that often unless it is to get onto them, they just let them play and whatever else it is that children do. They don't communicate with their spouses in a meaningful way anymore. One day runs into the next until each day is pretty much the same. I know single people who fall into a trap just the same though. My brother-in-law has lived with his mother practically his entire life. He has never had a family or responibility of any kind. He has gotten so used to living this way and time has gone by so fast. Each day he would say well by tomorrow I will have a job and move on my own but just like Apollo Creed said in the movie Rocky, "There is no tomorrow."
This reminds me of the salesman who stopped to talk to an old farmer. The farmer had a dog laying on his porch next to his rocking chair and eeeeveeery now and then the dog would juuuussst let out a big painful sounding howl. After a few times the salesman asked the farmer, "Sir, is your dog ok?" to which the farmer replied, "oh yeah, he's just laying on a nail" to which the salesman quipped "weeellll why doesn't he just get up?", the farmer replied "it doesn't hurt bad enough." This is the key: we get stuck in a rut because the pain isn't great enough to cause us to want to change.
I met a lady at a hotel in Oklahoma City who worked behind the desk. She said she could not function without knowing what she was going to make every week. There is nothing wrong with that unless you complain about the rich and what they have and vote for people who want to take it away. For every decision you make there is a price to be paid or a trade off. You can choose security but you will also give up some of your freedom. Most of the people who are rich or well off worked for it. They spent countless hours working late and second jobs to make their businesses a success. They risked their own capital to make it work. So there is nothing wrong with coming home and watching t.v. And whatever else you choose to do however there is something wrong with complaining about those who chose to work late and invest their time and money to provide your weekly paycheck so you will feel secure and know what you are making.
Attitude plays the most important roll in how your life turns out. I submit to you that you can go into any city in America and find all the crime, greed and hate that you want ooooorrrrr you can go into that very same city and find all the good people, fun places to hang out and nice places to live, it all depends on what you are looking for.
There are certain things you need to do to start making that stagnant life dynamic again or maybe your life has never been dynamic in the first place and this will be the first time. So here we go, the first is:
Pay Attention To The People Around You Every Day
Start asking your wife or husband out on a date again. Thaaaattt's right, a date. Choose a night that you and your spouse,aaaalllloooonnnne, can go out to eat and maybe a movie or dancing. Something that you both love doing. Talk about you goals together and individually. What inspires you both and what you care about and want to do as individuals and as a family.
Take each one of your children if you have any and spend some time with each one of them alone. Talk about what they want to talk about, take them somewhere they would like to go. Time of course won't allow you to take each one of your children one night a week especially if you have more than one, and then spend time with your wife one night out of the week. However you can spend time with each one of your children at least once a month. You can take the whole family out on the weekends and other times that might be available.
Doing these things will help you keep up with what's going on in each of their lives. You can inspire them and believe it or not sometimes your children can inspire you.
Let's not forget about your friends and co-workers. Talk to them and pay attention to what is happening in their lives. Offer help when they ask for it. Be sure they ask for it because some people will be offended if you offer unsolicited help. The biggest key is listening to them. People love to talk about themselves so just be there. They will think you are a brilliant conversationalist and you may not say very much yourself, you only had to listen.
Keep up your positive attitude by hanging around positive people. Beware of poison personalities. These are people who are constantly complaining and talking about others. These individuals would have nothing to talk about if it weren't for other people. The rule of thumb is: Losers talk about other people, Average people talk about things and Winners talk about ideas.
Have goals and write them down. A goal is a dream with a deadline. Then break the goal down into tiny fragments like 1 year and then what you must do every month and then every week and then daily. Yard by yard it is hard but inch by inch it is a cinch. A jet plane does not stay on course constantly, it goes slightly off course and then it is corrected by instruments and then it is back on course again. One small uncorrected change in course and what happens. Well at the beginning if it is only 1 degree then not much but after a long distance soon the aircraft can end up hundreds or even thousands of miles off course.
There are many other things that can be done to make a life more dynamic and exciting but I will touch on those in the future, however the main point I want to get across in this chapter is Becoming Aware. Instead of getting caught up in day to day living and not paying attention to what is going on because we are in such a routine stop to ask yourself questions every now and then. Is this action taking or leading me and my family to where I or we want to go? Drive to work a different way every day. Change your routines with the things you do occasionally.
Let me make this perfectly clear, routines are excellent for achievement usually. Systems create success but what is dangerous is to get so caught up in those daily routines that we lose sight of what is happening in ours or our families lives.
Studies say that there is no such thing as a bad memory only an untrained one. For instance when you are used to walking in and throwing your keys on a table by the front door and one day you are in a hurry and walk in and throw them on the sofa and they fall in between a cushion. I think every one has had a similar experience. You can't find them because your mind was not present. We do things in a hurry every day and when our mind is not present we have these memory lapses as people like to call them. Stop and make a mental note every now and then of what you are doing and what is going on in your life. Also making a humorous picture in your mind is said to help you remember things also. I will have more on this in the future.
For now though strive to be different and fight every urge to be normal. Pay attention to those around you and become aware and soon you will be on your way to living a dynamic life.