What is the most powerful change technique?

33 replies
I have to say that I still haven't found the holy grail of self-improvement: something that will almost instantly change your attitude, habits and actions and lead to better results.

Maybe there is no such a thing. Or is there?
#change #powerful #technique
  • Profile picture of the author Phillip M King
    There is no one answer for everybody. Subliminals work for some people, not for others, same with self hypnosis stuff. You will have to test for yourself.

    One of the biggest behaviour changers for me was when my mom made me write 1000 lines about something I had done wrong.
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    • Profile picture of the author tylerdrun
      Originally Posted by Phillip M King View Post

      There is no one answer for everybody. Subliminals work for some people, not for others, same with self hypnosis stuff. You will have to test for yourself.

      One of the biggest behaviour changers for me was when my mom made me write 1000 lines about something I had done wrong.
      1000 lines is it... let's start wrtiting affirmations 1000 times and see how it works/
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi zesquian,

    Changing things in an instant is difficult but a technique which has transformed me is meditation.

    Sitting quiet for extended periods throughout the day is a purifying experience. Sometimes it's agony, other times blissful, other times boring.

    Meditation introduces you to your higher self, that part of you which isn't concerned with thinking or doing, just being the best you that you can be while observing things as they are.

    When sitting quietly all of your destructive habits are plainly revealed to you. These habits prevent you from developing. When they are observed and embraced, or in other words you own them, you can release them.

    For starters try meditating for 10 minutes in the morning. Progress to 30 minutes. Note your progress. Purification of mind can be challenging but if you want to improve your life there is no better way than through meditation.

    Ryan Biddulph
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  • Profile picture of the author Kaz Moriarty
    Originally Posted by zesquian View Post

    I have to say that I still haven't found the holy grail of self-improvement. Something that will almost instantly change your attitude, habits and actions and lead to better results.

    Maybe there is not such a thing. Or is there?
    Try "I'm okay the way I am."

    Kaz.
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    • Profile picture of the author john322
      Reminds me of the book "I'm Okay, You're Okay". Sometimes self improvement is more about recognizing the good within and not trying to change to something that isn't natural for you. Improving is always something to continually strive for, but false beliefs won't last. Sudden and profound changes occur when you realize the power and potential you already have within. You don't have to go find it, it is already there .
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      • Profile picture of the author zesquian
        My conclusion is that the human mind/body is not hard-wired for instant transformation and that this is probably an evolutionary survival mechanism. It might not be in the best interest of the human body to go around having instant changes.

        I do believe that self-help methods work but only over an extended period of time and with proper nurturing.

        I guess the closest thing I've ever come across to instant change are the concepts of state change and anchoring taught in NLP. But even those require time and development.
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        • Profile picture of the author zesquian
          Let's say that you could instantly change to being fearless. That would mean that you would be willing to take more chances but at the same time it would increase your chances of getting killed or getting into a bad situation. In this case your chances for survival go down and instant change is not good for you. I am sure nature prefers the status quo because you have a higher chance of reproducing the longer you survive.

          From an evolutionary point of view, you're better off staying the way you are.
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  • Profile picture of the author camelia
    Meditation is the most powerful self transformation tool . Meditation can be done in any comfortable sitting posture! Hands should be clasped and eyes closed. Routine thoughts of the mind should be cut right away, as and when they arise, and attention should constantly be brought back to the chosen task at hand, i.e., being consciously with the breath. "
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  • Profile picture of the author Wizardofwisdom
    As a self improvement author and teacher for more than 30 years, I've come to recognise one simple truth. It's a truth I think Zen captured centuries ago, along with some other Eastern philosophies, such as Taoism.

    It is that there are no techniques.

    Imagine a grass seed that needed to ask, "What's the best way to become a really good blade of grass?"

    Techniques are about doing and humans are beings.

    Techniques are where you copy others - but you only can learn what you see and hear, not what they think and feel.

    Being all of yourself is to come from within, expressing your uniqueness.

    I'm not claiming to have mastered it, nor even to have fully understood it. But I have realised it. That's a big step - and one you can take too.
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    • Profile picture of the author Greg guitar
      If you can get yourself to do this easy exercise, change becomes far more likely:

      First, spend 5-10 minutes writing everything that sucks about staying with your present behavior. Then another 5-10 on all the wonderful ramifications of the change you seek.

      Notice any objections that come up in your mind or body (extra tension-surprise pain, etc), as you write, and address it as you would if you were selling to a prospect-because you do have the most important and profound selling job to do, so don't gloss over objections. The fact is, change is only hard because you don't want it with your whole being, so if you can get all of you on board, it will be effortless.

      Do this exercise for at least 3 days in a row-you get a more complete picture that way-even if most of the answers don't change-small but key distinctions might emerge to help you.

      Then, write a final version from the 3 you've created. Now you're on your way.

      It takes about 21 days for change to become truly integrated into your mind and body. So for the next 3 weeks, you will review the lists, then do your favorite deep relaxation technique, then spend several minutes to thoroughly, creatively visualize what your life will look like in 5 years without the change, and finally, what it will look like with it. Not just "look", but what things will you experience, taste, smell and touch as a result of these two divergent courses.

      The key is to be as creative, and vivid as possible-really aim to experience the reality. The part where you visualize failing to make the change can be painful, but that's the idea-using pain and pleasure to get yourself motivated to stick with your decision. If you can do this for 3 weeks, massive changes are really doable.

      Also, just beware of the little games your mind plays to stay lazy-the only reason change is hard is that we sabotage ourselves, because the change decision was never agreed to by our entire being, and as Fritz Perles pointed out, the "underdog" almost always beats the top dog. (The top dog gives the orders-like "change", and the underdog rarely fights, but wears down the top dog with excuses, procrastination, and other self-deceptions).
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  • Profile picture of the author webdesk
    Oddly or not, the single thing that has contributed to "the most changed me", was such a simple thing... the "To Do List". When I write my tasks down and cross them off one-by-one, there is such a sense of accomplishment, that it has affected numerous areas of my life. I am all the better for doing that!
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  • Profile picture of the author jaxrefinance
    20 steps to Self Discipline. The Book says what to do, and you feel the benefits from the first 10 pages. I can guarantee for that.

    Using it you can manage time, get things done = success
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  • Profile picture of the author Glenny61
    EFT & Physiology of Excellence work very quickly to create measurable change, as in I can now do something that I couldn't previously do, not just warm and fuzzy feelings.

    As far as affirmations go, if you were standing in front of a mirror wearing a blue shirt, how many times would you have to affirm that you were wearing a red shirt before you the shirt turned red? On their own most people give up on affirmations well before any change takes place. The solution is to simply change your shirt, but many believe that affirmations in themselves change things....they don't.

    Change needs to happen at a physiological level if it is to last. The two techniques mentioned above will change you and usually very quickly.

    Glenn
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  • Profile picture of the author thetruth23
    Depends what you want to change really.

    I'm not sure, but I think some people don't like to believe we are creatures of habit. I think we are. (I could be wrong - I usally am. - Brian Tracy taught me that line)

    If you want to change something, try and create something which is habitual. At first you will have to consciously carry out an action to progress towards a change (on a daily basis, i might add!), but eventually you'll find yourself doing it subconsiously, ie. out of habit. This is one way you can achieve change.

    When you try to create a new habit (a good habit I hope!), create it in a way that makes it hard for you not to do.

    PM me or message me here if you want to better understand what i'm trying to say and how you can do it.
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  • Profile picture of the author styla786
    Think of the last time you let yourself get really steamed about something insignificant...

    Maybe your spouse left the toilet seat up again. Maybe in her zeal to clean, your roommate threw out a newspaper or magazine you wanted...

    and that one little thing just stuck in your craw for the rest of the day.

    And it didn't just sit, did it? It festered. And it grew. And soon your bad feelings brought up the bad feelings from every previous time your loved one left the seat up, or threw something out. And your resentment, ill feelings, and anger grew. And then you started remembering other things he/she did "wrong" in the past...

    In other words, here was a simple, small event. You took the feelings you associate with that simple, small event.

    And you repeated them (the memory of the experience and the feelings), over and over in your mind,

    adding more emotional content as you went,

    and adding in more images (previous occurrences, or things that might have happened but didn't:

    "what if he had thrown out something that really mattered?" "what if I fell in and got stuck?"), and added more emotions

    until this one amplified event, and all of its emotional baggage, was your sole focus for the rest of the day.
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  • Profile picture of the author Vikram73
    Intervention is the most powerful. It will help you change course in a meaningful way.
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    • Profile picture of the author Morrigan
      like Glenny I swear by EFT. www.eftuniverse.com. It is as near to instant as you can get. It involves nothing more than simple tapping on acupuncture points. Amazing stuff!

      Tracy
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  • Profile picture of the author USGTMauthor
    Write down your goals and look at them everyday. Write down three things you will do each day to achieve them. At periodic intervals measure if you are closer or further from your goals, ie I want to have $100,000 in the bank and I now have $50,000. I want to be able to run 3 miles and I can run 2. Trust me this method works. All you need is a simple notebook and the discipline to stick to the method. I am beta testing it and the people who are actually doing it are loosing weight, writing books and getting close to their goals. There is of course a bunch of people second guessing if it works and still searching for another way.

    I would be happy to send you the ebook for free if you will use it. pm me.
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  • Profile picture of the author allanlim
    Try affirmation for 30 days.
    Best to do the affirmation at the same time everyday if possible.
    See if you experience any profound changes in yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author RahulNag
    One of the quickest ways to experience rapid and major changes is to identify and change your negative beliefs which are holding you back.

    One powerful way to identify and change your beliefs is through something called the Option Method which is a technique involving asking yourself some simple questions. Joe Vitale, a successful internet marketer recommended The Option Method in one of his Beyond Marketing blog posts.
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  • Profile picture of the author NatureElf
    Reading the Abraham books (what the "Secret" was based on) are very helpful in personal transformations.
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  • Profile picture of the author thedropoutkid
    Here is my answer to changing who you are to who you want to be. Simple And Easy. Just add Affirmations and some Enthusiasm each and every night.

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  • Profile picture of the author Darren L Carter
    Something that helped me A LOT was a book called "Get the Life You Want" by Richard Bandler.

    There are some amazingly simple and powerful techniques for changing your own beliefs and attitude. I am a lot better for reading and applying it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Anthony_Hall
    I know a lot of people have their techniques and affirmations. I found that it's a me against the world kind of mentality that works the best, and since then my new motto has been "Get knocked down 5 times, get up 6."
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  • Profile picture of the author jborjaperez
    I think it all comes down to how bad you want to change.

    Start with the small things.

    Get a white board and write down a list of all the things you need to change. Even the smallest things like cleaning up after you eat, or hanging up clothes.

    And one by one change those habits. It takes 21 days to change a bad habit. DO IT! Eventually that list will be gone, and I would say you've just self improved in one way or another.

    It works for me! Keeping my work area clean is something I just crossed off, and let me tell you. It makes the world of a difference when it comes to productivity!

    Good luck to you! And hopefully we'll work together in the future.

    -Jared
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    • Profile picture of the author ausmarketer
      Hi there,

      I'm constantly working on improving myself and my life and one philosophy / practice that I've found to be really powerful in creating change is one I learned from a teacher of mine in Hawaii. His name is Serge Kahili King (just do a search on Aloha International and you'll find him) and he has written a short, pocket sized little book that I really love called, 'The Aloha Spirit'. Mods - I have permission to re-post it here for everyone. Hope it helps!

      'The Aloha Spirit'

      The Aloha Spirit is a well known reference to the attitude of friendly acceptance for which the Hawaiian Islands are so famous. However, it also refers to a powerful way to resolve any problem, accomplish any goal, and to achieve any state of mind or body that you desire.

      In the Hawaiian language, aloha stands for much more than just "hello" or "goodbye" or "love." Its deeper meaning is "the joyful (oha) sharing (alo) of life energy (ha) in the present (alo)."

      As you share this energy you become attuned to the Universal Power that the Hawaiians call mana. And the loving use of this incredible Power is the secret for attaining true health, happiness, prosperity and success.

      The way to tune into this Power and have it work for you is so simple that you might be tempted to pass it off as being too easy to be true. Please don't let yourself be fooled by appearances. Take the time to try it out.

      This is the most powerful technique in the world, and although it is extremely simple it may not prove easy, because you must remember to do it and you have to do it a lot. It is a secret which has been given to humanity over and over again, and here it is once more in another form. The secret is this:

      Bless everyone and everything that represents what you want!

      That's all there is to it. Anything that simple, however, does need some explanation.

      To bless something means to give recognition or emphasis to a positive quality, characteristic or condition, with the intent that what is recognized or emphasized will increase, endure or come into being.

      Blessing is effective in changing your life or getting what you want for three reasons: First of all, the positive focus of your mind stirs up the positive, creative force of the Power of the Universe. Secondly, it moves your own energy outward, allowing more of the Power to come through you. Thirdly, when you bless for the benefit of others instead of directly for yourself, you tend to bypass any subconscious fears about what you want for yourself, and also the very focus on the blessing acts to increase the same good in your life. What is so beautiful about this process is that the blessing you do for others helps them as well as you.

      Blessing may be done with imagery or touch, but the most usual and easy way to do it is with words. The main kinds of verbal blessing are:

      Admiration - This is the giving of compliments or praise to something good that you notice. E.g., "What a beautiful sunset; I like that flower; you're such a wonderful person."

      Affirmation - This is a specific statement of blessing for increase or endurance. E.g., "I bless the beauty of this tree; blessed be the health of your body."

      Appreciation - This is an expression of gratitude that something good exists or has happened. E.g., "Thank you for helping me; I give thanks to the rain for nourishing the land."

      Anticipation - This is blessing for the future. E.g., "We're going to have a great picnic; I bless your increased income; Thank you for my perfect mate; I wish you a happy journey; May the wind be always at your back."

      In order to gain the most benefit from blessing, you will have to give up or cut way down on the one thing that negates it: cursing. This doesn't mean swearing or saying "bad" words. It refers to the opposite of blessing, namely criticizing instead of admiring; doubting instead of affirming; blaming instead of appreciating; and worrying instead of anticipating with trust. Whenever any of these are done they tend to cancel out some of the effects of blessing. So the more you curse the harder it will be and the longer it will take to get the good from a blessing. On the other hand, the more you bless the less harm any cursing will do.

      Here, then, are some ideas for blessing various needs and desires. Apply them as often as you like, as much as you want.

      Health - Bless healthy people, animals, and even plants; everything which is well made or well constructed; and everything that expresses abundant energy.

      Happiness - Bless all that is good, or the good that is in all people and all things; all the signs of happiness that you see, hear or feel in people or animals; and all potentials for happiness that you notice around you.

      Prosperity - Bless all the signs of prosperity in your environment, including everything that money helped to make or do; all the money that you have in any form; and all the money that circulates in the world.

      Success - Bless all signs of achievement and completion (such as buildings, bridges, and sports events); all arrivals at destinations (of ships, planes, trains, cars and people); all signs of forward movement or persistence; and all signs of enjoyment or fun.

      Confidence - Bless all signs of confidence in people and animals; all signs of strength in people, animals and objects (including steel and concrete); all signs of stability (like mountains and tall trees); and all signs of purposeful power (including big machines, power lines).

      Love and Friendship - Bless all signs of caring and nurturing, compassion and support; all harmonious relationships in nature and architecture; everything that is connected to or gently touching something else; all signs of cooperation, as in games or work; and all signs of laughter and fun.

      Inner Peace - Bless all signs of quietness, calmness, tranquility, and serenity (such as quiet water or still air); all distant views (horizons, stars, the moon); all signs of beauty of sight, sound or touch; clear colors and shapes; the details of natural or made objects.

      Spiritual Growth - Bless all signs of growth, development and change in Nature; the transitions of dawn and twilight; the movement of sun, moon, planets and stars; the flight of birds in the sky; and the movement of wind and sea.

      The previous ideas are for guidance if you are not used to blessing, but don't be limited by them. Remember that any quality, characteristic or condition can be blessed (e.g., you can bless slender poles and slim animals to encourage weight loss), whether it has existed, presently exists, or exists so far in your imagination alone.

      Personally I have used the power of blessing to heal my body, increase my income, develop many skills, create a deeply loving relationship with my wife and children, and to establish a worldwide network of peacemakers working with the aloha spirit. It's because it has worked so well for me that I want to share it with you. Please share it with as many others as you can.

      END
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      • Profile picture of the author Andy H
        There's a lot of great ideas and notions in this thread.

        It may well be that there is no single technique that works for everyone, every time.

        One of the greatest challenges I see over an over again is people who are dissatisfied with their current situation, who really WANT things to change, they just haven't figured out how they want things to be instead. This can be an incredibly dangerous place to be and I would advise you to caution against it at all costs.

        This is an extremely common phenomenon. A lot more common that you might think.

        I was working with a friend two weeks ago who was really successful in his job in NYC, who was earning big bucks and yet was so unhappy with his work that he just quit. He was sick of the endless meetings, working into the night, of being on call 24-7 so he quit.

        That was six months ago. Since then he has spent thousands on personal development resources, maxed out his credit cards and began seeing a therapist. When he came to me his two homes were in foreclosure and he was on the verge of financial ruin. He told me that now he didn't even have the confidence to ask for a job as a bag boy at the local supermarket.

        Do you see a pattern here? Dissatisfaction with work > change (quit). Dissatisfaction with unemployment and financial issues > change (see me). I think it has already been said in this thread but it is worth repeating. One of the most potent drives in change is dissatisfaction with the status quo. That dissatisfaction can give you massive leverage.

        The more dissatisfied you become with a situation, the more motivated you become to change it. But here's the kicker - YOU MUST have a clear vision of what you want instead! Otherwise all of that drive, all of that power goes where? I'll tell you where - the search for answers. The endless search for the one person who can give us the one method that will work for us. It leads to grasping for the next big idea and clinging to the hope that it will serve us.

        I've been there and my guess is that you have been too. My friend certainly has. He gave six months of his life and countless thousands of dollars searching for an answer that would ultimately come from within himself. The answer to the question, "What do I want INSTEAD (of this)."

        I won't go into all the details of our work together but as I discussed the situation with him it became clear that he had many seemingly logical reasons to support why he did what he did and why he was in the situation he was in. He had rationalized everything that had happened as if he were on the sidelines of his own life.

        The breakthrough came when I used the analogy of taking a journey from point A to point B. We know we don't want to be stuck in point A but we haven't figured out where point B is. So we venture out a little then retreat back to point A. We venture out in a slightly different direction then come back to the safety of what we know as point A. (I hope you're following me here )

        We try this road and that road, get so far down it then retreat back ti the safety of what we know, even if we don't like what we know.

        I told my friend that contrary to popular ideas, it does not take a trip to a magical, mystical place to gain clarity and decide what you want. It just takes a little time to sit down and decide what your perfect day would be like and work backwards from there to now.

        You see, you must know where you want to go to be able to get there. If you are dissatisfied with your current situation you must know what you want instead.

        If you and I were to travel together from Los Angeles to New York. We would look at a map and figure out exactly the course we wanted to take. We might use a GPS to give us moment by moment feedback and even course corrections, but we would know where we were going to end up and chances are we would get there, more-or-less as planned.

        Where do you want to end up? Where are you headed? Are you venturing out a little then retreating back into the known, even if you don't necessarily like it or are you marching confidently in the direction of what you want?

        Since my fiend and I worked together he has set up a business as an event planner, he already has his first clients and he tells me he is happier now than he has been in years. He still has financial issues he has to manage but he feels he can do that now with complete confidence.
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  • Profile picture of the author Edk
    For me one of the most significant ways I ever bring about positive change in my life is this way. It's recognising that 'when you're wrong you're wrong'.

    Correspondingly, the people who cause me the most trouble are just never wrong.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Field
    You can't do it instantly, if you want to see change in you, do it one step at a time until it becomes a habit, do it more until becomes a part of your unconscious self, you will gradually find changes within you
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