Don't Beat Yourself Up

14 replies
I don't know about you, but I tend to be a perfectionist, and I like to make lists, set goals, and do things thoroughly according to my expectations for myself. So when I have a list of things to do in a day and don't accomplish all of them, or I don't feel like I have done as well on something that I could have...It is easy for me to beat myself up and feel a sense of failure. What I have found is that thinking this way only serves to discourage and does not get me anywhere closer to my goal. Instead, setting out a REASONABLE schedule for myself and being consistent by doing something each day for our business, even if it's something small, is the most important. I work hard, but if I don't get EVERY thing done on that list, it is important to let it go and just move on to the next day. It's ok! Because sometimes it is important to meet that friend for lunch and let that one task go undone. "Negative tape" running through one's mind never serves any good purpose. Work hard, be consistent, and let it go and move on when things don't go as planned...for it's life we are living.
  • Profile picture of the author Traffic101
    Yes. I totally believe we shouldn't worry and strive to live in the present. When we worry and stress about the future or the past, we are not living up to our full potential. It's by letting go and being in the moment, that we can find our happiness and truly be at peace.
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  • Profile picture of the author writerval

    I agree absolutely. I run into a problem with this from time to time - not living up to my own expectations. Dwelling on self-doubt only cripples me and stops me from moving forward. If instead I give myself a pat on the back for what I did succeed in accomplishing each day, it gives me incentive and the motivation to try harder the next day.


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  • Profile picture of the author crumblepie
    I have a dear friend who keeps telling me I worry too much. She says I can spend my time doing something about it instead - praying, working, talking...

    And she's absolutely right!
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  • Profile picture of the author Norma Holt
    Amy, this is normal for most people. I think its a way of teaching ourselves that we are vulnerable humans and that perfection is not one of our traits. Those who think they are perfect may become very boring souls. You are quite right about letting it go once in a while and looking at the bigger picture.
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  • Profile picture of the author ymon
    eastern philosophy fits to this...
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    • Profile picture of the author Kym Robinson
      Hi Amy

      You have started a lovely conversation here!

      I agree wholeheartedly - I too am a bit of a perfectionist - but I can handle it if I dont meet my own demands every single day.

      I am a firm believer in setting high standards and big goals - after all..........

      it is better to aim high and miss occasionally than to aim low and hit the target every time!
      imho anyway!

      Thankyou for your thoughts
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  • Profile picture of the author warrenhw
    One of the habits I've found really helpful is to remind myself to only focus on what's right and what's working. So ... at the end of the day, I make a point of either writing down in my journal or mentally reciting all of my wins.

    This helps to take my attention off the things I feel disappointed about or prone to beat myself up over that I didn't get done. And it helps to restore a real feeling of momentum, even on days where that feeling may have been missing. I find I'm always able to find and focus on some wins for the day which makes me feel better and sets a positive tone for going to sleep and waking up energized in the morning.
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  • Profile picture of the author afitzwater
    Thank you for all the warm responses. It's really great when what you say resonates with people.
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  • Profile picture of the author kiran111
    thanxs for valuble information
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    • Profile picture of the author Tina Tiano
      I have learned that I am happy and more productive when I celebrate every win I have no matter how big or how small.

      I also measure my success or achievement against where I start from rather than some idealized point/goal in the future. The future is like the horizon and will always remain out of reach and make it seem that I have not accomplished much or made much progress. If I look at where I start and how far I have come, I can see the reality of how much closer I am to my goal.
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  • Profile picture of the author spressnell
    I have found over the years that I mostly focused on what I DID NOT get done, instead of ALL I DID get done. I'm learning to "prize" myself by noticing all of the many things I accomplished during the day.


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  • Profile picture of the author Devin T
    I find that beatin myself up over some things tends to help drive me even more.
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