Putdowns outweigh back slaps? Why?

I think a lot of it have to do with your thought pattern as a habit.

We are the product of our thoughts aren't we? A classic book that talks about this is "As Man Thinketh" by James Allen.

Negative putdowns can cause us to be obsessed over it if we let other people's opinions influence us.

Most take for granted the good praise, but go haywire over the putdowns, as they become a threat to our personal self-worth.

The solution? Know that - you have control and a choice over your thoughts. You choose how you feel. Other people can make fun of you, but it's more of a reflection of themselves not you.

It's not about having positive or negative memories, but how you "reframe" it. We might find past bad experience a blessing in disguise, or ones that make us stronger.

I like to think of it as flipping through TV channels or radio station. Why watch a show you don't like or listen to a bad radio station, i.e. "negative mental chatter" - you have a choice to switch the channel to something else more uplifting.

As a side note, this applies to IM and businesses. You can have a good history of helping people and providing a service, but just one bad move on your part -- you're history as a marketer - a scammer or a fraud!

Frank Kerns, Mike Filamse, Ryan Deiss, etc, all have people putting them down and negative criticism all over them -- just check out http://www.saltydroid.info - yet, they ignore it since the putdowns are the result for people not understanding their success.

because people thrive on negativity..

Because they disrupt our chain of thought. We are trained to solve problems, not empower our strengths. Thus, when a negative comment arises, we are jolted out of "awesomeness" because our reality and norm has been questioned. We internalize every comment we hear as our own, briefly, when we encounter it. We see it as our own, for a split second, and that internal negativity can be very destructive.

Resilience and galvanized positive thought is our only defense against that internalized comment. We will internalize it, and reject it, if we have re-enforced our reality.

You just have to remember you can't be all things to all people.

Some of the things you say or do, whether there well-intentioned or not, just won't jive with some people. Differences in personalities, maybe the person who reacted negatively to something you did or said was having a bad day, maybe they hate their life and are just a negative person. It could be a whole host of things.

Just don't ever take things personally.

Know who you are, be who you are, and don't ever apologize for being you. (Obviously, it's helps to be a genuinely nice person!)

Like I said, you can't be all things to all people, and the worst thing you can do is try.

I'm not saying go out into the world and be a d!ck. You should play nice, try and get on and understand other peoples perspectives and opinions, but don't dwell on them if something negative comes up.

Now this is a little extreme and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but something I've done in the past which has been useful is mastering the powers of In-Difference!

If you get good feedback, whatever!

If you get bad feedback, whatever!

It just comes down to not caring! LOL!

Anyway, i've revealed too much and thats a little extreme!

Good Luck!

After re-reading what I just wrote, I think a lot of it is rooted in Confidence, Self-Esteem, and Self-Belief.

Work on that, and your sorted!